Secrets of the Wolves

by Dorothy Hearst

  “There’s not much time. Come away.”

  He led us back to the Stone Circle, where I stood shivering. For some reason I wasn’t quite as cold as I had been the last time I was at the Inejalun. That time I was so frozen I couldn’t even shake. I thought it must have something to do with Indru.

  “Do you understand what you have seen?” he asked.

  “I think so,” I said through clacking teeth. I tried to hide my disappointment. I hadn’t learned much.

  Hzralzu raised his wings at me. “You do not understand, babywolf,” he said.

  Insulted, I glared at him. I had not been a babywolf for moons. Tlitoo pulled my tail as Hzralzu cackled a laugh. Then the ancient raven grew serious, and he spoke again.

  “Wolves are of two clans,

  One large, one small, and to each

  A task is given.

  “Both took sacred vows:

  Smallwolves watch, Greatwolves sever,

  Guard all that is wild.”

  I felt even more let down. Every wolf in the valley knew that by now. But Hzralzu had gotten it wrong.

  “It’s the Greatwolves, not the smallwolves, who’ve always been responsible for watching humankind,” I said, shivering.

  “No, Kaala,” Indru said, “it is not.”

  He let that sink in. Let me understand it.

  “It’s us?” I said at last. “No, it can’t be.”

  “What do you know about the origins of the Greatwolves, youngwolf?” he asked me.

  “They came in the time of Lydda,” I said. “She tried to bring wolf and humankind together, and at first it worked. But the humans and wolves fought, so the Greatwolves came to take over the promise. Because smallwolves are too strongly drawn to the humans. It’s why Milsindra says I’ll fail, why her followers say it’s wrong for me to be with the humans.”

  The old raven gurgled rudely and spat a bug at me. Tlitoo warbled.

  “It’s another lie, isn’t it?” I said.

  “It’s the secret the Greatwolves have protected for generations, a secret they have killed for,” the spiritwolf Indru said. “I saw that some wolves in my pack were less likely to fight with the humans, and chose them to be the humans’ guardians. Those who were quick to battle were entrusted with keeping safe the freedom of wolfkind. They promised to stay away from humankind. It happened that the larger wolves of my pack were the ones who fought the most and were the ones who were to stay away. They bred among themselves and grew larger than any other wolves. Then they took what was not theirs to have.”

  “Wild-wolves, so jealous,

  Envied what the smallwolves had

  And so they stole it.”

  The old raven peered at me, as if waiting for me to say something. It made a strange sort of sense. I could see why Milsindra would do anything to protect that secret. Then I realized what it meant. If we were the ones meant to be with the humans, then the Greatwolves had no authority over us. No right to tell us what to do. And no right to say what happened with the humans. Once the packs in the valley heard about this, they would know I was right about the humans.

  I tried to speak, but whatever Indru was doing to keep the cold at bay was no longer working. My muzzle was icy. I forced it open.

  “Why do they keep watching what happened?” I managed to ask.

  “I’ve wondered that myself,” Indru said. “I have heard many of them say that I was mistaken, that I chose the wrong wolves to guard the humans, and they watch the past to justify that belief. And I think they bear a great guilt for what they did, and are trying to find a way to assuage it. Some, however, have begun to believe that it might be time to return responsibility for the humans to those who were first meant to bear it. Their leader, Zorindru, believes this. As do the two who watch over your pack. It is why they saved you when you were born, Kaala. But they have always been conflicted. They do not wish their kind to die out, or to be useless.”

  My muzzle was now frozen shut, and it was beginning to get difficult to breathe. Why can’t they come here to the Inejalun? I wanted to ask. Why do they want the Nejakilakin? But I could no longer get any words out. I looked at Tlitoo, trying to get him to understand what I wanted to ask, but he just blinked at me in concern.

  “She is cold,” he said to Indru. “We must leave.”

  Indru touched his nose to my face, and warmth flowed through me.

  “Take her,” he said to Tlitoo.

  Tlitoo flew to me and pressed against me.

  The flapping of wings filled my ears, and I fell into darkness. An instant later I was lying next to Kivdru in the dreamsage patch. I was wonderfully warm and full of energy. Somehow Indru had taken away the ill effects of the Inejalun. I felt as if I’d woken from a long midday nap, and my heart pounded at what I’d learned. We were the ones who were supposed to be with the humans. It could make all the difference. I whuffed in excitement.

  “Quiet, wolflet,” Tlitoo hissed.

  But it was too late. Kivdru rolled over and blinked open his eyes. I froze. Tlitoo hopped agilely out of Kivdru’s sight. The Greatwolf looked at me, and the skin between his eyes creased into a frown.

  “What are you doing here?” he murmured. “Are you a dream?”

  He placed a great paw upon my back, pressing me into the dirt. He sniffed at me. I held as still as I could, trying not to breathe. He sniffed and sniffed. When he raised his muzzle, his nose was covered in uijin.

  “Nothing,” he said, his breath heavy with the scent of dream-sage. “No one here. Why do you haunt my dreams, troublesome littlewolf? It will not help you. We cannot let you live.”

  He lifted his paw, which was now also covered in the uijin, and tucked it under his chest. He sighed, and his eyes closed slowly. I waited until I was sure he was fully asleep, and then crept backward away from him. As soon as I was half a wolflength from him, I bolted.

  I charged up the hill, wincing at the pain in the paw I’d sliced on the rock. I reached the top of the cliff and pelted down the other side of Wolf Killer. I felt better than I had since Yllin’s death. Indru had taken away all my fatigue, and once Ruuqo and Rissa knew the truth about the promise, they could convince Sonnen and the others that I was not unlucky. They might even join with the Stone Peaks in openly defying the Greatwolves. But even if they didn’t, we had proven that we could hunt the aurochs with humans, and with the help of our pack and others we would be able to continue to do so, even without the Lin tribe. If Frandra and Jandru kept their word, I could set things right in the valley and then go find my mother. I ran through the territory as Tlitoo soared and dipped above my head.

  19

  I ran all the way back to Fallen Tree, but it was past darkfall when I arrived, and I was panting so hard I couldn’t speak for a moment. Every wolf in the pack, except for Trevegg, who was still at NiaLi’s, was waiting for me. Ruuqo stood atop a rounded rock. Rissa stood just below him in front of the rock. Minn and Werrna were just to their left. Ázzuen and Marra darted to me.

  “What took you so long?” Ázzuen demanded. “We told them about Borlla and that we were looking for the Greatwolf ceremony. Ruuqo and Rissa have spoken to Sonnen, but wouldn’t tell us anything until you got here.” Then he noticed the expression on my face. “You found it?”

  “I found it,” I said, “at Wolf Killer Hill. I found out what they didn’t want us to know.”

  “What did you find out?” Rissa asked. I thought she would scold me for being late, but her voice was kind, her tail waving. I was grateful that Marra and Ázzuen had brought the pack news of Borlla. It had evidently put them in a good mood.

  I looked at my packmates, wondering if I should tell them what had really happened—that I had met Indru and seen into the past. I told myself that it would take too long, that I didn’t have time to answer all the questions they would have. I quickly greeted the leaderwolves, Werrna, and Minn. Then I stood back to look up at Ruuqo. Tlitoo, quorking softly to himself, settled next to Ruuqo on the watch rock.


  “The ritual was over, but I overheard the Greatwolves talking,” I told them, ignoring the stab of guilt that lying to my packmates brought on. “It’s not the Greatwolves who are meant to watch over humankind. It’s us. It has been all along.” As quickly as I could, I told them as much as I could about what I’d learned, without betraying the fact that I was able to see things no wolf should be able to see.

  “Sonnen and Tree Line will have to side with us now,” I said. “Maybe Pirra will, too.”

  I stopped, breathless, waiting for their response. I had waited since I was a smallpup to hear Ruuqo say that I was not an unlucky wolf. Since the day I’d pulled TaLi from the river, I’d wanted my pack to know that I was not drelshik for being with the humans. Now they would see that being with the humans had been the right thing to do and that having me in the pack was not a weakness, but a strength. I looked from Ruuqo to Rissa expectantly.

  “Come over here, all of you,” Ruuqo said to us.

  Marra and Ázzuen came to join me at the foot of the watch rock. Rissa leapt up to stand beside Ruuqo, knocking Tlitoo off the rock. The raven grumbled and took flight, landing on the fallen spruce that split the gathering place in two.

  “We have spoken to Sonnen again,” Ruuqo said, “and we have come to a decision. We have decided to join him.”

  Join him in what? I thought, confused. We were the ones who were supposed to get Sonnen to join us now. We had information about the Greatwolves that every wolf in the valley would want.

  “Milsindra and Kivdru have indeed extended their offer to us,” Rissa said. “They came here themselves to tell us. And we have accepted.”

  I just blinked at them for several moments. Hadn’t they heard what I’d told them?

  “But we don’t need to anymore,” I said. “The Greatwolves have been lying to us. Again. We’re the ones who are supposed to be with the humans. The Greatwolves stole Borlla and kept her for five moons! We just have to tell the other packs.”

  Rissa smiled. “We’re glad Borlla is safe. And I wish the Greatwolves had not taken her. Milsindra explained to us that the Greatwolves need our blood to keep their line healthy. It is part of the agreement we have made with them.”

  Ruuqo and Rissa had made an agreement with Milsindra? I was shocked into silence. Ázzuen, fortunately, was not.

  “What agreement?” he asked.

  “We will support them in their battle for the Greatwolf council and will give them a pup every few years—as other packs will—so that their bloodline does not die out. We will have no more contact with the humans. In return, we will live—and our pups will live. The Greatwolves have promised they can bring back the prey, and they will help us eat until then.”

  It was so silent in the gathering place I could hear Tlitoo rustling his wings. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  “But we’re the ones who are supposed to be with the humans,” I tried again. “Everything the Greatwolves have told us was wrong. We’re supposed to be with the humans.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Ruuqo said. “That was a long time ago. The Greatwolves are responsible for the humans now, and for us. We must follow their will, or die.”

  I shook my head, trying to clear it. It was as if once they’d made up their minds, they couldn’t hear anything that didn’t confirm what they wanted to believe was true. Torell had told me that Ruuqo and Rissa were weak, and I’d told him he was wrong.

  “Even if we weren’t the ones to take care of the humans, we wouldn’t have to join Milsindra,” Ázzuen said reasonably. “We can get plenty of auroch and elkryn meat, and Pirra and Sonnen will never attack us if the Stone Peaks stand with us.”

  “And we’re succeeding,” I said. I tried to sound as reasonable as Ázzuen did, but my voice shook. “We’re bringing the best meat we’ve ever had. We can bring more now that we can hunt aurochs with the humans. We can show that Zorindru was right and can help him win against Milsindra. If we do, if Zorindru wins the council, we won’t have to worry about Milsindra.”

  The leaderwolves said nothing. They just looked at us sympathetically.

  “You decided a long time ago,” Marra whispered. “It’s what you wanted all along.” I looked at her. I was surprised that she had been so silent until now. She was usually the first one to try to reason with the pack, to get them to see things her way. Now she was shaking with fury.

  “We thought from the beginning that it was the right thing to do,” Ruuqo agreed, “but didn’t know if Milsindra would really allow us the opportunity. It’s a better chance than we could have hoped for. You will cease your hunts with the humans and allow the Greatwolves to take over guarding them. You will avoid the humans, as you should have done all along.”

  “I can’t,” I said. “I promised Zorindru. And Frandra and Jandru. And I can’t leave TaLi. And you promised, too. You can’t go back on your word. It’s wrong.”

  “We must do what is best for the pack, Kaala,” Rissa said. “We must do what is best for the pack and best for wolfkind. We believe that Frandra and Jandru were wrong to let you stay with the humans, and that we were wrong to follow them.”

  I heard what she didn’t say. That she thought Jandru and Frandra were wrong to spare my life when I was a smallpup.

  “You are pack,” she said. “You are a Swift River youngwolf, and we supported you at risk to the entire pack because of that. Now we have a duty to the valley and to save our pack. We will honor that duty.”

  “But what if Milsindra and Kivdru are lying to you?” I said desperately. “They lied before.”

  “They have admitted their mistake in doing so,” Ruuqo said. “They believed it was necessary in order to protect us. Now they are allowing us to take part in the decision.”

  “It’s just wrong,” I said again. I remembered what Torell had said about giving up what one believed in for the promise of safety.

  “It’s dishonorable,” Marra spat. “It’s shameful. It makes you no better than a grub finder.”

  “The decision has been made,” Ruuqo said again.

  “Grub finders,” Tlitoo grumbled from his rock.

  I felt so helpless I wanted to howl. I’d failed. I had assured Jandru and Frandra that I would gain my pack’s support, and they had challenged Milsindra based on that promise. Zorindru had placed his trust in me, and I had failed him, too. I wanted to argue more, to speak against the pack’s decision, but I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, nothing but a whimper would come out.

  “And if we don’t stop hunting with the humans?” Ázzuen asked. I was grateful to him for speaking up. “If we stay with them, what then?”

  “You may stay with us and join us in this alliance,” Ruuqo said. “Or you may choose to leave.”

  There it was, plain and simple. I had not thought they would state it so unabashedly. As if we had been given a choice between two perfectly sensible options. As if it were reasonable to betray everything that the Swift River pack had stood for.

  “Will you give us romma if we leave?” Marra asked, jutting out her muzzle, as no youngwolf should do to a leaderwolf.

  “We cannot,” Ruuqo said. “If you fail to follow the rules of the pack, we cannot give you romma. If you stay with us, and follow our rules, then yes, you are all strong youngwolves and deserving of romma.”

  “We want you to stay,” Rissa said. “We wish you would stay. We will need your help raising the new year’s pups, as Yllin and Minn helped raise you. It will be difficult to feed them without you.

  “Yllin died because of your actions,” Werrna rumbled. “You owe us help with the new pups.”

  “They have the right to their own decisions, Werrna,” Rissa said sharply. Maybe she really thought she was doing the right thing.

  “Will you help Milsindra and Kivdru kill us?” Marra asked, her voice bitter.

  “Of course not,” Rissa said. “We insisted Milsindra agree to let you leave the valley unharmed, Kaala. You and any who would go with you.”

 
; “Like they let Yllin leave?” I asked. “They said she could go.”

  “We have told them our cooperation is dependent upon it,” Ruuqo said. “So did Sonnen. He respects you, Kaala, even though he disagrees with you. And Milsindra just wants you out of her way.”

  “I’ll bet she does,” Ázzuen muttered.

  “Think about it, youngwolves,” Rissa said. “We would like to have all three of you stay with the pack, but we’ll leave the New Cache meat for you, in case you decide to leave the valley.”

  Rissa and Ruuqo, then Werrna and Minn touched their noses to our cheeks, as they had done a hundred times before, as if today were no different from any other time we had parted, as if they were not leaving us to choose between the pack that had raised us and the promise we had made, as if it might not be the last time we were together as pack. Then they left us.

  The cool evening breeze ruffled the fur between my ears. I was aware of Ázzuen and Marra watching me, waiting for me to decide what to do. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tlitoo crouched on slightly bent legs, as if ready to take flight from the fallen spruce. I could only stand there, staring at the gap in the trees through which our pack had left. I was never sure we could win against Milsindra and Kivdru—I knew the risks we were taking. But I had always assumed that Ruuqo and Rissa would do the right thing, that Swift River pack was different from other packs, and that even if we made mistakes or failed, we would always do what was honorable. Now I didn’t know what to believe. Those I depended upon most had betrayed me. Those I needed were no longer to be trusted.

  Ázzuen scraped his paw in the dirt. “We have to change their minds,” he said. “Once they think about it, about the truth about the promise, they’ll change their minds.”

  “They won’t,” Marra said, disgusted. “They think it’s safer to do what they’re told. We have to find another way.”

  I looked at the two of them. Not everyone I trusted had betrayed me. I remembered what I had seen when Tlitoo had shown me Ruuqo’s memories—how he had looked at Rissa when at last she was his, how he would do anything to protect her.