Undercover: Secrets & Lies

by Jennifer Loren

  “I hate what that woman did to you.” He points at me from the other room, still mumbling about Jolie and her bullshit like I’m listening. I would argue with him, but he doesn’t get it. He won’t ever get it. Hell, I’m still not convinced I do.

  Falling in love hurts. It hurts worse when you realize it was never love in the first place. I have yet to experience the one thing my mother wished for me and my brother—to be loved so deeply that a person would give up everything for you. All of their hopes and dreams meant nothing without you being a part of them. That was the last thing she ever said to me, and I stupidly thought Jolie was the answer. No, I wanted Jolie to be the answer. In reality, she was nothing but a quick fix to help get over my mother’s death. My own fault for needing to compete with my brother who has been in love since he met a sweet co-ed his freshman year in college. I love my brother, and I am happy for him, but isn’t the older one supposed to lead the way, not follow the clearly wiser, younger brother? Luca is my mother, through and through. My curse is that I am too much like my father. I just hope I don’t make his mistake. I glance back at Luca who is still lecturing me on my dating habits. I hope Titus doesn’t find out about him and Madelyn. As if he could read my mind, Luca comes stomping back into my bedroom, shaking his finger at me again. “And Madelyn is not Jolie. Your relationship didn’t end because of Titus. It ended because Jolie’s an evil bitch.”

  “Fuck, Luca! Must we have this argument every, single, day? It’s my day off,” I plead.

  “Oh, yeah. That’s the reason I came over early. I had to trade days with Isaiah, so I have to work today. I need you to do me a favor.”

  “I thought we were hanging out tonight? We were going to go to the bar and check on the business.”

  “I know, but Madelyn wants to go do this thing and …” I roll my eyes and nod. “We will go, I promise. For now I need you to keep a date for me.” I look up at him as I slide into a seat at my kitchen bar. “I kind of invited someone else to go with us tonight. Sort of a date that I can’t break.”

  “What? Date? Who?” He immediately looks like he’s trying to convince me before the words come out of his mouth. “No. Luca, no! She doesn’t like me, and I’m good with that. I don’t need any more stress at work. It’s bad enough as it is.”

  “Come on, Ben. Just do me this one favor, and I will never ask you to do anything else again.”

  “That’s a lie. Don’t lie to me, Luca. I’m your brother. I know better.”

  “Ok, so do this, and I will not complain about Jolie for at least a week.” I study him carefully, considering the offer. “Two weeks then. I promise.”

  “Fine. But I can’t force her to go,” I say, feeling pretty sure Laila is never going to agree to this, which means I can make other plans tonight.

  “You’re probably right. I mean, she isn’t that interested in you. I guess there is actually a woman who doesn’t find you attractive. Well, give it your best shot, but I understand if she turns you down. She is out of your league.” He walks out, waving at me as if he doesn’t know what he just did.

  “Fuck!” Now I have to find a way to make this work tonight just to prove him wrong.

  Luca sent me her address, which ends up being some hotel in town. I have to check the address three times to make sure it’s correct. The last time I check, I see her sitting on a crappy balcony overlooking the street. It’s not even a good view. I park my car, slamming my fists on the steering wheel one last time. “Fucking Luca.” Laila spots me as soon as I start walking across the street.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Why are you living in a hotel?”

  “I like it here. Now, why are you here? Where’s Luca?”

  I hold out my arms with a nice smile. “He had to work, so I’m filling in for him.”

  “No,” she yells. Well, that went well.

  “Come on, one meal. Give me one meal to convince you I’m not such an awful guy.”

  “No, and don’t bother coming up here because I’m not going to open the door,” she says, walking back into her room. Okay, have it your way. Her balcony door is still open, so I jump up and grab the rails of the second floor balcony and climb up to hers, walking into her hotel room proud of myself until I come face to face with her gun. “Get out!”

  I pick up some lacy underwear from a chair and smile. “These are nice. Did I pay for these too?” She grabs them from me and begins picking up everything and shoving it all in a closet. While her gun is out of my face, I take the opportunity to sit down on the bed and glance at her computer. “What are you researching?”

  “Nothing!” she snaps, grabbing her laptop from me and fussing around to hide all of her shit from me. “Would you please go?”

  “What are you going to do when I leave?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing? Then come hang out with me. It’s better than nothing.”

  “No.”

  “Damn, woman. Throw me a bone or something. Come have dinner with me, I know a great place that has the best view of the water.”

  She suddenly turns to me. “Camillo’s?” she asks, wide-eyed and excited.

  “You want to go to Camillo’s?”

  “Can you get in there?” she asks, not realizing who she’s talking to. There’s a rumor out there that a restaurant made me wait for a table once, and Titus had it burned to the ground the next day. I don’t know if Titus did it, but I know I haven’t had to wait for a table anywhere since.

  “Yeah, it’s no problem. Get ready, and I will take you out for a nice dinner and not bar food.” She hesitates, fidgeting as she tries to decide what to do. “I will bring you right back after dinner. I won’t even walk you to your door. Hell, I won’t even stop the car. I’ll just slow down and kick you out the door and speed away.” She smiles which shocks me.

  “That would be nice.”

  “I am nothing if not a gentleman.” She smiles again and walks away to go change. Nice smile, Laila, I hope I get to see it more often.

  I wait patiently until she returns. She enters the room, and I am on my feet before I even realize it. Her black dress is exquisite, and her long, dark hair cascades over her shoulders and rests softly against her face.

  “They won’t let you in if you’re wearing jeans, right? And—well, this is all I have that’s nice unless I wear my work suit.” She stands silent, waiting for me to speak, but I’m trying to find the right words, something that won’t make her run from me. “It’s too much, right? This was a bad idea.” She turns to leave, and I reach out, grabbing her arm and quickly letting go, with my hands up in defense.

  “No. It’s perfect. You look perfect.” Amazingly perfect. We both suddenly feel awkward. “I’ll get the door for you. Just don’t push me out and lock it behind me.” She bites her lip to keep from laughing as she passes by me. When she looks over her shoulder at me, I quickly wipe the smile off my face.

  Showing her to my car, I’m unsure how to lead her without actually touching her, but we manage and no one gets a gun shoved in their face. So, so far, so good. I start my car and glance over to Laila before pulling out of the parking space. Her hands glide over the leather and controls.

  “I missed this baby,” she says, taking my mind back to the day she drove my car naked, completely naked. I pause, looking her over. If nothing else goes well tonight, at least I can have that.

  “So Camillo’s? I guess they have something special you like or do you simply go for the view?”

  “I don’t know. I have never been there before.” I glance her way. “I used to watch people coming and going from there when I was kid. I’ve never been allowed in before. I guess it’s been a …”

  “A childhood dream? That’s not a very big dream?”

  “No not a dream, just a goal.”

  “Not a very big goal either.”

  “It’s a step to much bigger goals,” she says as she gazes out the window. I guess this conversation isn’t going to go much fur
ther. Fuck Luca! What did you get me into? “So …” So what, Ben? You got absolutely nothing to say to this woman. Time goes by too slow as she does nothing to spark a conversation at all. “So you hate me?”

  “Hate? No. I strongly dislike you is all.”

  “Oh good, so you find me attractive then?”

  “What is wrong with you? We were actually having a decent time. Why did you have to ruin it with your ego?”

  “A good time? We haven’t said a word in ten minutes. I know nothing about you.” She gives me a silent “no” in a single look before turning away. “Okay, so I will tell you about me then. I was born just outside the city, just as good looking as I am now.” I smile wide at her unamused expression. “My charm, however, has improved over the years.”

  “That’s scary,” she remarks with a hidden smile.

  “No, seriously. I didn’t throw my toys at people or kick puppies or anything, I was just shy. I wouldn’t say a word to anyone other than my mom and my brother.”

  “Come on. You were shy? What happened? Did you suddenly look in a mirror and decide you were too good looking to keep quiet about it?”

  “You’ve heard this story?” I say with excitement as she sighs. “So, have you heard anything else about me? You have, I know. Everybody talks, and I know my brother talks more than any of them.”

  “He might have told me a few things. I know you are highly skilled in multiple martial arts. You won some international championships, including some underground tournament that got a lot of people killed, except you managed to survive, barely, you lost your last fight.”

  “I didn’t lose.”

  “You were in the hospital for a month. You nearly died there.”

  “It was a shitty hospital,” I admit.

  “It was stupid to get involved in those fights. You could have been killed.”

  “Those fights pay well, and I didn’t lose,” I say, pulling up to the valet. I wait for her to step out of the car, reminding myself the woman I’m with is no ordinary woman, and offer her my arm. She studies me for no more than a second, and surprisingly, she takes my arm. Having her at my side feels better than I would have expected. The way she stands close to me, watching everyone around us, I feel as if I am protecting her in some way. She adjusts her hair, her dress, and her hair again before I realize she feels out of place and not worthy enough to be here. I walk her right into the maître d. I give him a nod, and he greets us directly. “Justin, we need a table with a view.”

  “Certainly Sir.” Justin rushes through the restaurant to set a table up for us.

  I look down at Laila who is toying with her dress again and trying to hide behind me. “Hey,” I say, causing her to look up at me with childlike eyes, evoking a warmth inside of me. She waits for me to respond, but the smartass comment I had ready comes out completely different. “You’re the most beautiful woman here, and everyone knows it. That’s the only reason they’re staring.” She stands a little straighter, looking into my eyes as if she is searching for a reason to run from me. Her grip on my arm loosens. “Don’t leave yet, at least not until you try the food. Besides, I don’t like to eat alone.”

  “Do you say that to all your dates?” she asks, looking to start a fight. I laugh instead, leading her towards Justin who is waving us to a table. I watch as she sits, gazing out at the water with bright eyes. She barely notices the waiter trying to hand her a menu. There is a memory about this place that she is enjoying, and I don’t feel I have the right to interrupt it. She orders in a fog of reminiscence and continues to sit silently until our food comes. As warm plates are placed on the table and the smell of fresh food wafts through the air, she finally realizes I’m with her. “Are you staring at me?”

  “What are you thinking about, Laila?”

  “Nothing. I am watching the waves,” she responds, trying to ignore me shaking my head at her.

  “If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. I’ll guess. You were thinking about …”

  “Fine. You want to talk? Then let’s talk about your favorite subject — you. You’re clearly a mama’s boy.”

  “Yeah, I am and proud of it. My mom was the best mom ever. She would have done anything for Luca and me. My father, on the other hand, not so much the greatest father in the world. Thankfully, she was strong enough to leave him.”

  “You said, ‘was’. What happened to her?” she asks gently, realizing it might be a sensitive subject.

  I study her for a second, trying to decide if I care to tell her anything. Maybe giving a little of myself, I can get a little more from her. “She died of cancer five years ago.”

  “She got sick about the time you started doing the underground fighting, didn’t she? Did you do that to pay for her care? When she died, you lost the fight?”

  I sit back, tilting my head to one side as I look her over, trying to calm myself. “You know, you are real good at asking questions but not so great at answering them.”

  “There is nothing to tell about me. I am pretty much what you already know.”

  “I know enough to know that’s not true. And I didn’t lose.”

  “So what happened then?”

  “Answer my questions, and then I’ll answer yours. What is this place to you, really? Because it’s not simply a goal you had. Come on, what can it hurt to tell me something about yourself?”

  Silent, Laila sits trying to decide if the exchange is worth it. Her curiosity is winning. A grin turns up the corners of my mouth. “Stop smiling. It’s nothing that interesting. My father proposed to my mother here. It’s one of the few stories I know about them, so I …” She shrugs it off, filling her mouth with food to keep from telling me anymore. I know her parents died in a car accident when she was ten. Their car skidded off a bridge and flipped over in the water. They both drowned.

  “I didn’t lose that fight. I found out a few hours before that my mom was terminal and there was nothing we could do any longer. She asked me to quit fighting, come say goodbye, and take care of my brother. And as any good mama’s boy would, I did as she asked. Only, there were too many people that had money involved in my winning, and they didn’t like me walking away. It was the first and only time I wasn’t paying attention. I was distracted. So, I didn’t lose because I didn’t compete. I was shot, beat to hell, and left for dead. If not for an old man looking for scrap metal in the alley I was left in, I would have died.”

  “The man that found you. What was his name?”

  “Sunan. How did you know I knew his name?”

  “Your mother would have wanted to know who saved her son’s life, and you wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint her. Right?”

  I nod, silently learning more about her in that moment than she realized. I decide it best for both of us to change the subject to something lighter. “What’s your favorite song?”

  “Is this a first date?”

  “No, just two co-workers making small talk over a good meal,” I try to convince her, though I’m not sure it’s working as I’m struggling to convince myself. “What was your favorite game as a kid?”

  She sighs, “Diary of Jane and pet store.”

  “I won’t ask about the song if you tell me about the game.”

  She sighs again, annoyed by my persistence. “I would line up all my stuffed animals and feed them, take care of them. I wouldn’t let anyone buy them though.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they were mine,” she says as if I should have known that already. I laugh until she finally does the same.

  “Okay, who was your favorite? If there was one you could have back now, which one would it be?”

  ”My floppy-eared dog. My parents promised to get me a real one just like him before they died. I took that dog with me everywhere I went.” She smiles, recalling another memory.

  “You still have him?”

  “No, I lost him at some point. I don’t remember when, probably between foster homes.” Her smile disappears, and I quickly
regret bringing it up.

  “I’ll buy you a new floppy-eared dog if you smile at me again.”

  She does. “Make sure he’s purple, okay?”

  “Purple, got it.” I smile as she tries her best to not smile back. She’s dangerous for me, but her allure is hard to resist.

  CHAPTER 9

  Laila

  Sitting with him in such a romantic setting makes it difficult to keep my defenses up. Ben has a way about him, a strong confidence that doesn’t waver in any situation. He is who is, and he makes no apologies for it. He doesn’t seem to care about tomorrow. A death wish? Maybe. Or he misses his mother so much that he doesn’t care to please anyone else. It makes sense to me now why he was so protective of me in that arena, without even knowing me. He respects women too much to watch one be torn apart. It’s admirable, but he’s still a criminal, and I’m on a mission that will most likely put him in prison. I have to refocus and make the small talk he is asking for, joke around and be—well, be someone he expects me to me be—a criminal.

  At the end of dinner, I expect to leave and go home, only he drives me somewhere else. “Where are we? I thought you were taking me home?”

  “First off, a hotel is not a home. I thought taking you to my place would not go over very well, and there is no way we are ending the night with you in that dress this early. You said you like jazz, so let’s go listen to some jazz. This is my favorite place. The music is so good here, no one wants to talk.” He doesn’t give me a choice. He parks the car, opens my door, and waits for me to step out. I take his arm again, only because these heels are difficult to maneuver in. Although, I must say, he smells really good.

  He does as promised. We don’t talk, we listen. Only, he had to know it would force me to notice him more. Those subtle glances with his deep blue eyes, the charming Ryder smile, and that movement of his lips, his tongue waving inside his mouth as if he knows I am imagining it touching my skin. I think it’s been too long since I’ve had sex. There is no way he’s that good looking and desirable. I can’t stand him. I look him over as he sits back in the booth, stretching out enough to force his shirt to stretch out over his muscles, showing every line. His eyes look down at my toes under the table and slowly lead up to my mouth before focusing in on my eyes. He’s your enemy, Laila. Calm down. He’s making me weak all over, and I am afraid he might know it. I begin imagining him leaning over and delicately holding my face, taking my lips in between his. My eyes close as our worlds move in closer. I slowly open my eyes to see him tilt his head and laugh at me. “Ben!” Oh crap! That was loud. “I think I’m ready to go now.”