Divine Mortals

by Allison, J

  Everyone was as we left them, Pop was talking farming, still, with Jed and Shawn, Nan was no-where to be seen, presumably inside cleaning up from tonight’s barbeque.

  “What did you think about the calves honey?” Pops voice stopped me before I could make my final escape into the house and I paused looking back at him through the fly screen.

  “Oh, ah, they’re very cute.”

  “Cute, huh,” Jed laughed, “let’s see if you still say that when you can’t get across a paddock without them chasing you to suck on your boots, pants, fingers, whatever they can latch on to.”

  “I’ll remember that.” I murmured, trying for a second time to disappear indoors.

  “Where’s Robert?” It was Shawn’s voice that stopped me this time, I glanced behind me, assuming he still followed, but there was no one there and he was nowhere in sight.

  I shrugged, “Dunno.”

  “What did you say to him?” Shawn teased.

  I let the screen bang shut behind me.

  “How the damned hell should I know.”

  5.

  I didn’t sleep much that night, my mind swimming with thoughts of my parents, past conversations, past arguments, plans we had made that would never be realised.

  I fell asleep eventually, just before dawn, dreaming a jumbled collection of memories.

  I woke late, Nan and Pop were already out on their respective errands and I was left alone to wander around a large empty house on a huge lonely farm. The feeling of desolation hadn’t left upon waking as it had the other mornings, and I wondered if the honeymoon period of my first few days here was officially over and the darkness was coming back to claim me once more.

  I only managed to walk in circles around the house for an hour, surfing the internet and then channel flicking before I felt as if I was going insane.

  The phone broke my trance as I stared aimlessly out the kitchen window.

  “Hello,”

  “Ava – finally, I’ve tried calling for the last few days and there was never anyone picking up.”

  “Reece…”

  “Yeah, sorry, I should have spoken to you sooner but, well I text, did you not get them?” I had gotten them, and then deleted them. “How’d you get this number.” I leant forward until my forehead was resting against the coolness of the refrigerator door.

  “Julia gave it to me, wait, don’t you want to speak to me?”

  I took a breath not sure how to answer this. I didn’t want to speak to him, I didn’t want to have to do this.

  “Are you dumping me?” his voice had an edge to it and I felt myself cringe.

  “No, I, well I don’t know, I’m here now, in the land of no life, and you’re in Chicago, what did you think we were going to do?”

  “Geeze Ava, we’ve been dating for eight months. You could have friggin run this by me, I’ve been worried about you, and all this time you’re down their just assuming that I can read your mind.”

  “Reece I’m sorry, but with my parents and everything I’m not a good girlfriend at the moment I just need some time so…”

  “Thanks.” He snarled, the line going dead.

  I made a break for the back door, not sure where I was going or what I was going to do, I just left, marching out of the house and down the steep wooden steps off the back porch, between the horse pens and down the track towards the distant hills and still snowy mountains that flanked them.

  The day wasn’t hot, but even so I could feel moisture gathering on my forehead and across my back after only a few minutes. I tried to focus on the walk, on the things surrounding me, I didn’t want to think of my parents or my dreams, or Reece, and strangely even after an almost sleepless night I wasn’t tired. I was actually the opposite, I felt wired. I needed to do something to expend all this extra energy or risk spontaneous combustion.

  The track I walked was long and straight, heading in an almost perfect line towards the forest covered hills ahead, I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I didn’t care either.

  Fields spread out either side of the dusty track, some filled with cattle, others with horses, but most were empty.

  I let my mind wander, to ponder my first few days at River Stone, Sally, Jed, Shawn, Robert. My thoughts stopped with Robert, so evasive to the point of being rude yet so totally… magnetic. Every time I saw him I struggled not to stare, not to try and strike up a doomed conversation.

  The fields either side of me had changed, from the cropped grass of the recently grazed to the long waving stands of hay waiting to be cut, swaying slowly, like waves on the ocean.

  Letting myself through a gate I moved slowly towards the centre of an empty field, my hands held flat so the tops of the stalks brushed my palms, I breathed in the deep sweet scent of this sanctuary filled with flowers and sunshine.

  Coming to a stop I sat down, the grass crushing beneath me to form a springy bed as I lay back.

  Closing my eyes I let the sun beat down on my face, warm and inviting. The sound of crickets filled the air, happy within their grassy maze.

  I stretched in the sunlight, enjoying the quiet, so different to the loneliness of the house. Here I felt like I was part of something larger, something huge, the whole world existed around me, animals and insects going about their own lives and I was completely insignificant, a splotch on the face of it all.

  I lay there for a while, keeping my mind safely blank before opening my eyes to the world again.

  I saw it instantly, only a few feet from my face, my blood ran as cold as its own, its jet black eyes staring back at me.

  I could no longer hear the crickets, their silence telling.

  They were smart, an unwelcome voice in my head sang out.

  The warning signal, that was its tail, hadn’t moved. Its tongue, typically forked darted in and out of its mouth, tasting the air around me.

  I didn’t move, I couldn’t, I was afraid that if I did it would too. I had only seen Rattle Snakes in a zoo, they were not generally something you came across in Chicago.

  If I was bitten out here, by myself with only my own two legs to get me all the way back to the house I would die, plain and simple.

  I swallowed assessing my options.

  “Nice snake,” I whispered, it raised its scaly head a little further, its tongue moving faster.

  I took another breath.

  “You don’t want to bite me today do you?” Its tail twitched a little but otherwise the snake kept up its silent watch, obviously not of the mind to just turn around and go back the way it came.

  “Dammit.” I mumbled under my breath, my mind turning over and rejecting a dozen escape plans, all of them coming back to the simple fact that if the snake took exception to my movement I would be bitten before I even realised what was happening.

  The snakes head flew to the ground in an instant, clenching my eyes tight shut I froze, waiting for the strike. A second passed and then another, nothing happened. I opened my eyes again, the snakes head was still on the ground, but his tongue was limp, hanging from its thin blue mouth, its body slack, no longer tightly coiled. It took me a moment to realise a shovel was sticking up from behind its head, only an inch or two behind its eyes, neatly removing its head from its shoulders, if snakes had shoulders.

  I rolled back quickly, jumping to my feet in a delayed reaction to get away from both the snake and the shovel, scared it might be my neck on the line next.

  As I stood I came face to face with Robert, his eyes fixed on me, his hand still firmly on the handle of the shovel, the other on his hip in a menacing sort of way.

  “What the hell are you doing out here?” his voice cold as his eyes searched mine.

  “I ah, I mean, I…” I stuttered, trying to form coherent words, getting angry at myself for letting him intimidate me.

  I took a breath, “What do you mean what am I doing here, I came for a walk, what are you doing here?”

  His eyes narrowed as he pulled the shovel up violently.

 
“I’m saving your life is what I’m doing,” he growled, like I was nothing more than a disobedient child. I noticed with a twitch of my stomach that the snakes body was still moving, even though its head now lay a few inches away, I looked quickly back at Robert.

  “I didn’t need saving,” I glared, “I was just going to wait for it to go.”

  “I beg to differ.” he said dryly, turning abruptly and storming back towards the gate, it was then that I noticed Pop standing next to the pickup parked on the side of the track.

  “There was a rattle snake.” Robert informed him as he threw the shovel onto the bed of the truck before going to stand next to him, glowering back at me.

  “What were you doing in the paddock honey?” Pop wore a look of confusion, I struggled to rein in my temper and not say something scathing back.

  “I was resting okay, it’s a nice day, and I just thought I would lie down for a while before I walked back.”

  “You’re not in Chicago now love, it’s dangerous out here, you shouldn’t be walking this far from the house, take a car, your Nans old red hatchback never gets used anymore, you can take that, at least it’s a faster means of getting home should something happen.”

  I nodded stiffly,

  “I realise I’m not in Chicago.” I spoke through clenched teeth, Pop glanced at me sharply then decided to ignore my temper.

  “Where were you going anyway?” he raised one grey eyebrow at me,

  “I was walking towards the hills.” I answered, non-committal, after all I hadn’t had any set route.

  “You can’t go up there either Ava, not at the moment, it’s too dangerous, the track was washed out in last winters storms and we haven’t had a chance to clear it yet. Once it’s cleared I’ll take you there, there’s a plateau paddock on top with a great view, but not before the track has been cleared do you understand?”

  “Sure.” I shrugged, I couldn’t really care less about a plateau paddock or the view of green nothingness that I would get from the top of it, but Pop wanted me to agree so I did.

  “Come on love,” he moved towards the driver’s seat, “I’ll give you a ride back to the house, we’re heading in now anyway.”

  I walked slowly towards the old pick up realising only when I got there that there was no back seat, climbing into the centre next to Pop Robert jumped in beside me. The cab was fit to burst, Robert was large and muscular and despite his age Pop was not a small man either, having retained a lot of muscle on his broad shouldered frame due to his active lifestyle. I was the ham in the sandwich, one side of me pressed against Pop the other against Robert.

  I jumped as Roberts arm touched mine, his skin literally burned, unnaturally hot. Although rather than pull away I found that I relished it, it was like an electric current between the two of us and I became painfully aware of every square inch where his skin touched mine. Robert himself was tense and quiet the entire trip back, nothing new there, I reflected, smiling at his discomfort.

  The ride back was short, it didn’t take long when you weren’t walking. Robert leapt out as soon as we came to a stop, as if getting out of the way of an angry bee, saying something quickly to Pop he disappeared behind the main shed.

  It wasn’t until Pop spoke that I realised I was still staring in the direction that Robert had gone.

  “Don’t worry love,” Pop smiled, obviously mistaking my look,

  “He’s just shy, it’s not you, he’s like that around all the kids.”

  “Hmm.” I leapt from the pickup and wandered slowly back towards the house. I needed some friendly conversation with someone that I didn’t have to try so hard around. I decided it was time to call Julia, mainly to have a go at her for giving Reece my number here, I wouldn’t tell her about Robert, what could I say?

  ‘There’s this guy that’s rude to me constantly but he has the most stunning eyes.’

  I knew Julia would laugh, call me a stalker and tell me to get over it. Strangely, the thought of being told that was refreshing, I was feeling better just at the prospect of speaking to her, I hurried along, now eager to call my best friend.

  The rest of the week passed slowly in much the same way, I managed to stay away from any more riding lessons, Robert seemed to stay away from me and I wandered around the farm bored a lot of the time.

  I began to contemplate getting a job, something part time so I had some way to fill my day. Sally had come out to visit again and we had sat on the porch sipping coffee and chatting, her eyes darting endlessly towards the sheds and stables in search of Robert. It had been rather entertaining to watch and my heart did go out to her, she really should just give up, whatever the reason for Roberts withdrawn and arrogant personality it wasn’t going to change.

  I sighed, coming back to the present, swinging in my new favourite spot, on the hammock in the corner of the porch.

  Should I try harder to talk to Robert? He was the only person here every day that was anywhere near my own age. It would be nice to have someone else to talk to, even in passing. I smiled to myself at the thought of cornering him and forcing him into conversation, he had made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to be overly friendly towards anyone. I don’t know if it was due to my loneliness here, but there was definitely something that drew me to him. He was absolutely gorgeous sure, and that probably played a small part, but there was more. In the few times I had caught him looking at me, unguarded, his eyes had been deep and thoughtful. Perhaps his arrogant persona was just something he put on.

  The ringing stunned me awake, hearing the phone I leapt from the hammock, almost tripping as I sprinted into the house, wondering briefly where Nan and Pop were as I answered, how long had I been asleep this time?

  “Hello,” I was slightly out of breath and it came through in my rushed answer.

  “Good Afternoon, may I speak with Miss Ava Daniels.”

  “Ah, speaking,” I was trying to breathe through my nose so that my voice sounded normal, although it still sounded like I had run a marathon, how unfit was I!

  “Hello Ava,” whoever this was he sounded professional,

  “My name is Arthur Bannister, I’m the attorney for your parents estate.”

  My breathing wasn’t really a problem anymore, basically because I no longer could breathe, I wasn’t ready for this.

  However oHHArthur didn’t wait for any answer,

  “We have the Will here for your parents estate, I understand you are now in Colorado, however we need to arrange a time for you to attend our offices so we can discuss its contents.” his voice was calm, mine on the other hand had deserted me completely, I slumped to the floor my mind spinning, tears pricking the corner of my eyes.

  “Ahh…” I wanted to tell him I couldn’t do this now, I couldn’t speak to him yet, but nothing came out and he took this as a prompt to continue.

  “We have an office in Denver where we can arrange a meeting with you, I have taken the liberty to sort this for you two weeks from Tuesday at 11am, Is that suitable?”

  The question hung in the air, I tried again to gather my thoughts, I only had to be able to do it for a moment, just long enough to get off this call.

  “Yes.” I didn’t want to say it, but this was the easiest answer to make, leading to the least questions.

  “Wonderful,”

  Wonderful, really? For whom?

  “I have your email address here, I’ll send you the details of the meeting and the address of our offices in Denver.”

  “Okay.” my voice, barely a whisper, broke a little at the end, I clamped my mouth shut before I could hiccup down the phone.

  “Have a pleasant day Miss Daniels and I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  I couldn’t answer, I pushed the end button on the phone and let my world collapse around me. The room seemed to spin and grow dark, I felt out of breath and flighty.

  You’re having a panic attack stupid, the still functioning part of my mind piped up. The tears I were expecting to follow didn’t, perhaps I h
ad no more to cry, had my allocation for this year already run dry?

  The feeling of absolute despair was back again, the feeling I had been fighting so hard to ignore since I arrived, I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I needed fresh air and to be away from my grandparents, I couldn’t let them see me like this.

  I stumbled down the hallway out into the sunshine, the day had lost all of its previous beauty. I looked around, the paddocks stretched for miles, I didn’t know where to go, the green open spaces which had once seemed so relaxing now seemed stifling. I felt like a prisoner stuck with no way back to the outside world. I couldn’t breathe, I needed to get away from the house but I had no means of getting there. I ran to the garage, Nans old red hatch was gone, the only time I had truly needed to get away and it wasn’t here. My mind flicked towards the possibility of Beaut, he was a means of transport. I was sure I could walk him quietly down a track somewhere without breaking my neck, I just needed to be away from here for a while, to be alone.

  After a long struggle I managed to get the saddle on and pull myself awkwardly onto his back, my thighs instantly tensed in remembered pain from my last horseback encounter but I ignored this pushing the pain and fear to the edge of my mind. I needed to get away from here, to have some time completely and utterly alone. Nudging his sides gently with my heels, as Pop had shown me, he moved obediently forward out of the pen. We took a sharp right, following the outside edge of the pen until we came to the beginning of the track that I had taken previously, the track that led towards the hills in the distance. Pop had told me never to go up to the plateau paddock, the track was dangerous. It was the only place on the ranch Pop had forbidden me to go. But I was feeling reckless at the moment, I didn’t care what happened, or what the consequences may be, I just wanted to escape the pain. I thought that I had, but I had only managed to fool myself, as if only a few weeks here could fix things. All I had done was become really good at ignoring the feeling of complete emptiness, and now Arthur Bannisters short phone call had bought reality tumbling down around me once more. I couldn’t escape, I couldn’t pretend my parents deaths hadn’t happened, I was going to have to face it, sooner or later, I had prayed it would be later, and now later was only two weeks from Tuesday.