by Cindi Madsen
“You have a wedding to get ready for,” I reminded her.
“Not to worry. I’m good at multitasking.” In spite of her words, she began pulling away from us. “See both of you in a few hours?”
“With bells on!” I cocked my head. “Wait. What’s with that saying? For one, that would take attention away from you, the bride, and of course we’d never do something like that, but why would anyone wear bells anyway?”
“Ah, my little squirrel. You haven’t changed a bit.” Madison raised an eyebrow, her gaze moving to Evan. “Hope you can keep up with her.”
“Not a chance,” Evan said. “Even if I took all of her coffee and consumed it myself, I’d still fall short.” His grip on me tightened and he pressed his lips against my temple. “But I’ll do my damnedest.”
Madison grinned, full out, and pointed a finger at him. “I like this one. I think he’s a keeper.” Back in high school, I tended to go with her opinion, whether I fully agreed or not.
But when it came to this one, I one-hundred percent agreed. During this road trip, I’d realized he was a keeper.
With the way he’d been acting today, though, I was just afraid that he’d decided I wasn’t.
21 Ethan
Holy shit.
Since her dad was in the room, I should really stop ogling Gwen and the way the pink dress showed off her curves and her killer legs, emphasized by heels that made her legs seem even longer and also managed to give me dirty thoughts about those sharp heels digging into my ass as I drove into her.
Yeah, I better look away now because I don’t have Horny the Unicorn to help mask my reaction to her. Of all the lies I’d told over the past few days, the biggest one I’d told was the one last night when I’d said I was tired.
Sleep wouldn’t come after I’d retreated to the made-up futon in the office, no matter how much I told myself it was for the best. If her parents had set us up in the same room—hell, if I would’ve gone to her bedroom for “just a little while” I would’ve lost the fraying thread on my control, forgotten I was trying to be some twisted version of noble, and ended up having sex with her.
I could tell she was hurt I hadn’t gone up, and for the billionth time I’d wanted to come clean, even as I’d justified holding back and convinced myself it was for her own good. Last night at the bottom of the stairs I’d peered into her eyes, begging her to see I wasn’t my brother.
Then she’d told me she saw me, and I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest.
The instant she’d tacked on “Evan” it’d thudded and tumbled somewhere down by my feet. She didn’t have all of the facts, so it was stupid to think she’d see anything but the lie I’d sold her.
I didn’t deserve to touch her or to kiss her or to even look at her.
But as she stepped in front of me, nervousness plain on her face as she gnawed on the lower lip I desperately missed biting myself, it didn’t matter what I deserved. It was about what she needed.
“You look amazing,” I said, dragging my fingertips down her arm and then linking my fingers with hers.
A hesitant smile broke through, and I hated that the way I’d acted today was responsible for her holding back. If I tried to do the right thing, I messed things up between us now, and if I didn’t do the right thing now, I’d screw up ever having a chance with her.
You don’t have a chance. Not really.
But a fruitless sliver of hope refused to go away, regardless of how many ways it could crash and burn. Maybe if I could just get her to listen to me for long enough to convince her that while I wasn’t my brother, what we had these past few days was real, and I’d do anything to make up for the fact that I hadn’t come clean from the start…
Of course if I’d done that, I would never know that it could be like this.
She studied me, the same way she had the morning at the coffee shop right before she kissed me. This time when she wrapped her hand around my biceps and tipped onto her toes, I knew what was coming, and it made that moment our lips finally touched that much sweeter.
Unlike that morning, I kept this kiss on the chaste side—the part about not wanting her dad to kill me was at least true, and I hadn’t magically won him over today. Thank goodness we were staying at the hotel where the wedding was taking place tonight.
If only that didn’t also mean I needed another shitty excuse for why I couldn’t have sex with her. Guess I’ll worry about that after I get us through the wedding.
Gwen’s eyes held mine as she pulled away, but instead of reassured, she appeared more confused, a crinkle forming between her eyebrows. Then her features smoothed. “Bye, Mom. Dad.”
“Give Madison and Kade our best.”
“You could swing by. It’s only a forty-five-minute drive to the resort.”
Her mom waved a hand through the air. “Ah, we’ll just send a gift later. The drive’s farther than we like to go, and that place is far too fancy for the likes of us. Too many people, too much excitement. We’re too old for all that stuff.”
“Okay, well… we have to leave early tomorrow to make the trip home in one day, so...” Gwen blinked away the moisture glistening her eyes and gave her parents giant hugs. I stuck to handshakes and her dad stuck to intimidation tactics, squeezing it hard enough for my bones to protest.
I extended my elbow to Gwen, and after giving it a funny look, she looped her hand through it. She called out one last goodbye before we stepped outside, and at the car, I opened the passenger door for her.
“I didn’t realize you were such a gentleman,” she said.
My gaze lingered on the way that dress hugged her ass, and I couldn’t stop imagining smoothing my hands up her legs, tugging up the skirt, and touching her until she was panting and writhing against me.
I wanted to know how wet I could get her, how long it’d take to make her beg for release. Lust flooded my senses, trying to wash away the grip I had on my self-control, and before I could stop myself, I said, “Considering all the dirty thoughts that dress is giving me, I’m definitely not.”
This felt right. Driving in the car, my girl next to me.
Only not my car.
My lungs tightened at the next slicing thought… Not my girl.
I’d slipped and flirted with her—hell, more than flirted. I’d come on to her. I was sending so many confusing signals I might as well be a broken stoplight. Even as the red flashed to try to stop me, I was all green, all the time.
The ride to the resort was quiet. Too quiet, especially for Gwen, with nothing but the occasional “turn here”, “right at the next street.”
We checked in at the front desk, the bellhop took our luggage to be delivered to our rooms, and then we drove around to the other side of the resort where the ceremony was being held.
“This is it,” she said, and the nervousness that’d been in her expression earlier crept back in.
I reached across the console and folded her hand in mine. “I’m right here.”
“Are you?” she asked, her big hazel eyes turning to me, and the words lanced my heart.
Three or four seconds ground out in the air as I tried to figure out what to say. How to explain. Once again, I debated coming clean, but right now, when she was already nervous and needed me by her side?
At the ten or so second mark, she withdrew her hand and pushed out of the car. Through the windshield, I saw her smooth down her dress and then lift her chin, determination setting in.
She’d leave my dumbass here if she had to, and while she should, I couldn’t let her. At the beginning of this whole ruse, I never would’ve guessed how strongly the guilt would eat at me, gnawing until I didn’t think there’d be anything left to rip apart.
If I didn’t care so much about her…
But I did, and the repercussions of how long this had gone on sent another caustic wave of agony and regret through me. It killed me that I wouldn’t be the guy there for her in the long run, and for the first time in my life, I w
as sure that was what I wanted. Gwen by my side for real. Talking and laughing, and saying my actual name.
But since I didn’t have a genie to grant me a big enough wish to send me back in time for a do-over—one where there weren’t lies between us and I met her before my brother ever did—I exited the Camaro and rushed to catch up to the redhead who had both my head and heart in a tangled knot.
At my approach, she cast me the quickest, most emotionless glance ever.
“Gwen, I’m here. I’m sorry. My mind’s just…” I raked a hand through my hair. “It’s a bit of a mess.”
“Well, not to sound like a selfish bitch, but it’s my turn to be a mess. And I know, I’m a mess a lot of the time, but usually not an emotional wreck of one, and this is going to be hard, and if you’re going to add to the rollercoaster…” She huffed out a frustrated exhale. “I made it clear I don’t like rollercoaster rides, right?”
“You’d like one better with me by your side, though, right?” If anyone was being selfish tonight, it was me.
She pursed her lips and tilted her head. Then she glanced around before looking back at me. “Was it meeting my parents? Does it feel like we’re moving too fast?”
No, it didn’t, and that was almost scarier than the other option. I wanted to reach for her so fucking bad, but I kept my hands in fists at my side. “It’s a lot of things.”
“Great. Now that you’ve explained, I feel so much better.” She renewed her clipped pace toward the crowd of dressed-up people filing into chairs, and I stretched out my arm and caught her arm, just above her elbow. I pulled harder than I meant to, and she wobbled in her heels. On reflex, I wrapped my free arm around her waist to keep her steady, bringing her back flush against my chest.
“Sorry,” I said in her ear, my heart mimicking a battering ram with her this close. Clearly it wanted to leave me behind and go with her.
A shuttered breath spilled from Gwen’s lips, but without facial cues to go off, I couldn’t tell if it was desire or anger. “For the tripping, or for being so cryptic?”
“Yes,” I said with a chuckle. It’d slipped out, and fire blazed through her eyes as she glanced over her shoulder at me. “Sorry.” Apologizing only seemed to fuel her anger. “What I mean is, let’s get through this wedding. I guess I’ve just been thinking more about my future.” And how much I want it to include you. “But I’m here now. From right now till the end of this shindig, I’ll be the perfect attentive boyfriend. I promise.”
Each second that ticked by added another layer of panic. I’d already screwed it up. It was over before I got my last kiss. Damn, I wished I’d known it’d been my last.
With a sigh, Gwen finally melted into my embrace, and relief flooded my body, along with a healthy dose of desire—the ass I’d been admiring was pressed against my crotch and I really shouldn’t think about that right now.
“Oh, shit, there they are.” Gwen spun to face me, her hands gripping the lapels of my suit coat. “I told myself I’d be okay, but I think I’m having a heart attack. My heart’s definitely beating too hard and my knees are shaky and do you remember how I said I wanted an-all expenses paid brain vacation? Why didn’t I do a shot before we—”
I cut off her rambling with a kiss, and like that first morning, the instant our mouths touched, heat flooded my veins. Every other thought besides her lips, her body, and all things Gwen were incinerated as the kiss blazed through me.
Her whimper spurred me on, and I slid my fingers into her hair and gave her fiery strands a slight tug so I could tip her head back and plunge my tongue in to tangle with hers.
When we came up for air, our chests were rising and falling together, our ragged breaths filling the space between us.
“Damn.” She reached up and touched her lower lip with a glazed-over look that made me want to throw her over my shoulder and carry her away, caveman style. “I was kinda worried we wouldn’t get any more of those.”
Now I wanted to kick my own ass. Forget the broody routine. From this moment on, I’d keep my promise to be the guy she needed for the wedding. “Oh, there are going to be more of those. I messed around and got addicted, so…”
A dimple popped in her cheek. “Did you just quote Juicy J?”
“I thought it was Katy Perry,” I said.
“That’s the Juicy J part, though.”
“Whatever.” I shook my head. “I hope you’re happy now. Clearly, your playlists have ruined me.”
She clapped. “I plan to ruin you even more on the ride home.”
My mind made sure to turn that nice and dirty, and I wanted to do some ruining of my own. I was starting to suspect she’d already ruined me. I’d never be able to settle for anyone else now.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the people who’d been making their way toward us. Their dropped-jaw expressions made it clear they’d seen the show, but the female half of the couple recovered with a forced smile.
“Gwen! There you are!” A blonde in a dark-blue dress came over, a guy in a tux trailing behind her like he was being guided to the guillotine.
“Hey, Paige,” Gwen said, then she gave a little nod. “Kyle.”
Dumbass Ex’s gaze raked down her, and I wrapped a possessive arm around her waist, tucking her next to me. Screw him for hurting her and taking her for granted, and screw my brother, too. This girl was mine.
“This is Evan,” she said, placing her hand on my chest.
I covered it with mine. “Her boyfriend.” I knew I should probably add “nice to meet you” but I’d done enough lying this trip.
“I’m so glad you ended up coming,” Paige said. She cast a nervous glance at Kyle, then nudged him.
“Yeah, it’s good to see you.” His eyes lingered a few seconds too long, doing a sweep that made me clench my fist. “You look good.”
Asshole. As hard as Paige was trying, she’d flinched as he’d said it, too. I tightened my grip on Gwen. “Well, we better take our seats.”
“Yeah, we’ve got to go line up,” Paige said. “Talk later?”
“Sure,” Gwen said. As soon as they’d turned to head the opposite direction, she blew out a shaky exhale.
“You okay?” Admittedly, a hint of jealousy mingled in with my concern. I hoped she wasn’t sighing because of the tool. But this was about reassuring her, not me.
Gwen nodded. “It was like this weird déjà vu, but everything felt wrong.”
My gut clenched.
“But also right.” Gwen laced her fingers with mine. “If that make sense.”
Nothing made sense to me anymore. Not why anyone would dump this girl, not that I’d somehow fallen for her in a matter of days. Not why we couldn’t be together.
22 Gwen
Today was such a weird day—I wasn’t kidding about my hatred of rollercoasters. Maybe I’d be the tiniest bit happier if Evan was the person seated on the rollercoaster with me, but he’d sent me on one that started last night and now I felt like I had to constantly have my guard up.
But then he’d kissed me and… residual heat coursed through me. It was an amazing freaking kiss. The mind-blowing type you hear about but don’t quite believe is possible until you experience one for yourself. There’d been fireworks going off since the morning at Sacred Grounds, and even as frustrated as I was, those hadn’t disappeared.
And he said he was preoccupied with his future, which was a good thing, I supposed. I hoped it included me. We were going to have to have a talk, and I couldn’t be a chicken anymore. I needed to know where we stood.
It was also weird to watch Madison reciting her vows. A good kind of weird, but still. Of the three of us, I thought she’d be the last to settle down, and I couldn’t look at her without thinking of slumber parties spent giggling instead of sleeping; that time we’d taken her dad’s new truck for a spin in the middle of the night, ended up stuck in a field and had to call the guys for backup; and how she’d been the one I turned to when I was ready to have sex for the first
time with Kyle.
Maybe I’ll have to ask for advice on how to get my current boyfriend to sleep with me.
My eyes moved to Evan of their own accord—did he always have that mole on his jawline? I’d studied it so often you’d think I would’ve noticed it before. Maybe it was because he’d shaved today.
His eyebrow arched as he gave me a sidelong glance. Probably meant I should stop staring, but I kept on doing it anyway. The grooves in his cheek that accented his smile deepened as a crooked grin tugged at his mouth. Then he draped his arm around me and curled me closer.
I dropped my head on his shoulder and inhaled his cologne. Since I didn’t want to freak him out—especially since I worried he was already in freaked territory—I’d tried to play it cool about the wedding stuff. But right now, with the bride and groom grinning at each other, a couple of people around us tearing up, and the beautiful fairytale setting… mushy love vibes were definitely seeping through the barrier I’d tried to erect, not just around me, but my heart.
Evan’s thumb dragged up and down my arm and my stomach went to spinning on me.
“…pronounce you husband and wife.”
Kade nearly knocked Madison over in his enthusiasm to kiss her, and the crowd shared a chuckle before it melted into awws. Then there was cheering as they headed back down the aisle. I kept my attention on them, because like I said, trying to play it cool. I swear if you made eye contact with a guy during the end part of the wedding stuff, they translated that into you thinking about marrying them.
Only I felt Evan’s gaze on me, and when I let myself turn and drink him in, he dipped his head for a kiss. “I feel like I didn’t say enough about how amazing you look tonight.”
I fisted his jacket in my hand, holding his mouth to mine, where it should always be. “You did say the dress was giving you dirty thoughts.”
“Exceptionally dirty. But it’s not just the dress. It’s the girl in the dress. You’re stunning, Guinevere Cosgrave.”