Until You

by Cristin Cooper

  While making her drink, he couldn’t help overhear Katie ask, “What classes do you have today?”

  He muttered, “Catwalk one-oh-one?” under his breath before she could respond. He wasn’t sure if she even heard him, but when he looked into her eyes, he felt a pang of regret. Again. When he saw the pain in her eyes, he realized he must have hit her where it hurt. But then she straightened her shoulders and gave him an exaggerated smile.

  Using a high-pitched voice that made it sound like her IQ dropped several points, she said, “No. I took that last year.”

  Her fake smiled dropped when she looked at Katie and answered her question. “I had my anatomy class today, and after your appointment, I need to finish my biology lab.”

  Stunned, he stared at her, his eyes meeting hers. Katie said Alexis went to Portland State and was smart. He figured she had exaggerated since Katie complimented everyone. “You’re getting a real degree?” he asked half confused and a lot impressed.

  “Well, I wasn’t planning on getting a fake degree.” This was the first time he heard her be sarcastic. It surprised him how much it bothered him to get that reaction from her.

  “I thought you were a model?” he asked in all seriousness. Did he hear Katie wrong when she mentioned her roommate modeled last year?

  With a sigh, she said, “I am. That’s how I was able to buy my condo and pay for whatever my academic scholarship doesn’t cover.”

  He couldn’t help but stare at her as he tried to put the pieces of everything he knew about her together. “Huh… Not what I expected,” he mumbled.

  As he handed her the drink, their fingers touched for a moment. She drew in a deep breath as her eyes shot up and met his. For some strange reason, he didn’t want to let her go.

  What would it be like to hold her hand? Hug her? Kiss her?

  He watched as Alexis turned away from him and took a seat across the room. Jason hated being wrong about people and even though his gut told him she wasn’t what he thought, he wished she were. He couldn’t explain why he wanted to be right about her. But she made it increasingly difficult to even want to dislike her.

  “I’m heading out,” he thought he heard Katie say. He felt an unexpected need to apologize to Alexis before she walked out the door. But he clamped his mouth shut and let her leave without saying a word.

  “One more,” Benji begged between yawns. Jason groaned knowing full well he was powerless against his pleas. From the first moment Jason held his son in his arms, Benji became his whole life. He often felt guilty for the hours he had to work, so he gave in to him more times than not.

  Jason tried to make the most of the hour in the morning they had together and the few hours they had at night before bed. A few days a week, he had the babysitter drop Benji off at the store where he had turned his office into a safe place for Benji to play while he did paperwork or closed up. Katie had mentioned that her mother had done the same thing with her when she was young. Since Katie turned out pretty cool, he hoped he wasn’t ruining his son.

  He and Benji had a good rhythm going. After dinner, they played for an hour, then it was bath time and finally bedtime. Jason sat on the floor next to his son’s toddler bed and read a book or four, depending on the night. Tonight, Benji talked him into three books.

  “This is the last one.” Jason kissed Benji’s smiling face then read about Thomas the Tank Engine. To Jason’s relief, Benji fell asleep before he got to page five. It gave him just enough time to get logged into the MMO game he played most nights.

  Tiptoeing out of Benji’s room, Jason glanced at his son. He felt an overwhelming amount of love for the little human. He never imagined he could love someone as much as he loved his son.

  After flipping on his computer, he went to the kitchen to grab a beer while his computer booted up. Tapping his foot, he double clicked on the game icon and grew anxious waiting for the loading screen to pop up.

  He loved online gaming. Nothing beat destroying monsters and bad guys, but it was more than that. Since Benji, his online gaming turned into his only social outlet outside of work and one of the few ways he relieved stress.

  So much had changed since the night Sandy showed up at his door, afraid and in shock.

  He went from being a partying college student to a drop out and a business owner. Taking money he inherited from his grandparents, he opened The Coffee Pot. He counted himself lucky he managed to make any money by the time Benji arrived a few months later.

  Fellow business owners had warned him that it might take a while to make a profit. With his son as motivation, he put all his time, money and energy into research and worked from before the sun rose to well after it went down. Two years later, he did well enough to hire four part-time employees and to take care of his son and himself. He didn’t live in the lap of luxury, but he made more than if he had worked for someone else without a degree.

  He didn’t know it then, but five months after opening his coffee shop, he became Benji’s sole parent. Sandy, after being hospitalized with postpartum depression, decided she wanted a different life. She gave up her parental rights and moved to Los Angeles to become an actress.

  It didn’t break his heart since they had never been a couple, in fact, he barely knew her, but now he resented her for abandoning their son. He knew firsthand what it was like to be raised by a single parent. Because of that experience, he promised himself as a kid he’d never abandon his child no matter what. Even if his child came from a drunken one-night stand.

  According to his old friends, Jason didn’t have much of an existence, but it was enough for him. At least for now. He missed sex, but he had lost all trust in women—except for maybe Katie, and wasn’t ready to try dating again.

  The moment his main character, Belakor, popped on his screen, he received a message from Nysterie.

  Nysterie: About time. I’m logging onto my Alliance character. I’ll meet you there?

  Belakor: Yeah. Get on vent so I don’t have to type.

  They logged on at the same time and the stress of his day eased the moment he heard her say, “Hey.”

  Nysterie never went into too much detail about her life, but he liked talking to her. He knew she could be anyone. That was the best part about being online. He was just a guy who played well, and the friends he made had no ulterior motives.

  Tonight was a rare evening where they had vent to themselves. Usually they were forced to type to avoid having to talk to other players.

  “How was your day?” he asked. When she sighed instead of speaking, he said, “Spill it.”

  Chapter Three

  October 2015

  Alexis

  “Spill it!” Belakor’s mic crackled and buzzed in her ear which made it difficult to understand him but Alexis heard the kindness in his voice, reminding her why she liked him so much. Even without knowing the details of each other’s lives, he always sensed when she had a bad day or needed to unload on him. Even at times when he couldn’t hear her voice.

  “How did you know?” she asked with a voice that wavered, giving away her emotional state.

  “Come on, Nyst. What’s going on?” The way his voice softened pushed through the emotional wall she had been holding up all day.

  Unsure how to tell him about her day without giving him too many details, she took a minute to gather her thoughts. “It wasn’t one thing.” Alexis slumped in her chair and tried not to sigh. “It’s stupid, but there’s this person who is always rude to me even though I go out of my way to be nice. It just hurts my feelings.” Her cheeks redden just thinking about how silly it sounded. There were plenty of people who didn’t like her, so why did it bother her that Jason didn’t?

  “How could anyone not like you?” he said sounding skeptical.

  “I don’t know,” she said exasperatedly. Alexis really didn’t. She went out of her way to be nice to Jason…well except for today. In an effort to mask the hurt, she used sarcasm and a forced smile.

  Belakor didn’t
speak right away, and his silence concerned her. Then she heard him clear his throat. ”I’m sorry that happened to you,” he said with a softness she never heard before. Since they most often typed to communicate, she usually only heard his gaming voice while raiding which was gruff and to the point. He hesitated again then went on. “Don’t take it personally. I know you’re a cool person, and everyone in the guild likes you, so don’t let this loser ruin your day.”

  Alexis sat up straight and firmed her shoulders. “You’re right.” He was, and she knew it. Alexis had a few friends who saw beyond her appearance, and she had fun online friends who liked her because she was a good player.

  “I am right,” he said dryly. “As usual.” The humor in his voice made her smile. “So what else happened?”

  Her laugh died, and she pinched her eyes closed to keep from crying. “Remember when I said I lost someone recently?”

  “Yeah,” he said with concern in his voice.

  “I just…” She thought back to earlier in the day when she and her mother went to Katie’s first obstetrician appointment. After Katie’s examination, all three of them were ushered into an ultrasound room. The technician took the baby’s measurements then adjusted the screen so they could see the baby. She pointed to the heart of Katie’s peanut-shaped baby. The moment Alexis heard the baby’s heartbeat, she burst into tears.

  A mix of joy and grief hit her at once. She couldn’t wait to spoil her niece or nephew, but her sadness overshadowed some of the joy. Eric should’ve been there with them seeing his child for the first time and holding Katie’s hand.

  And…Katie should’ve been calling Eric every night telling him about her day instead of Tyler. Even though Katie and Tyler were only friends, Alexis couldn’t help feel jealous. It wasn’t just the way Katie seemed to be pulling away from her, but the amount of time she spent talking to Tyler. Alexis felt like he was trying to take Eric’s position in Katie’s life. Except Katie never talked to Eric as much as she did with Tyler.

  Belakor’s mic crackled again drawing her attention. “You just..?” he asked after she didn’t finish her thought.

  “I just....” Missed her brother more than anything. Wished she had more time with him. Didn’t want Tyler to take Katie away from her or her brother.

  But she didn’t say any of that. It was too much detail for an online friendship.

  “Let’s PVP,” he said before she could find the words. “That always makes you feel better.” Considering how much he disliked playing against other players, she was touched by the gesture.

  “Thanks, Bel.”

  “No problem. If you ever want to talk,” he hesitated for a moment then said, “like really talk, I’m here for you.” Just the offer made her feel better. At the moment, she wasn’t ready to change their relationship, but it was nice to know it was an option.

  Wanting to change the subject and ready to take her mind off her problems, she said, “Ready to get your butt handed to you?”

  His loud laugh made his mic make an ear piercing squelching sound that made her groan.

  “Oh and you seriously need to get a new headset. The buzzing sound on your mic is making me crazy. I’m on the verge of banning you from vent until you get a new one,” she threatened for the hundredth time.

  “Woman. Less complaining and more playing and I’ll look into it.”

  “You’ve said that at least once a week since we met.”

  “And one of these days I will.”

  “Ugh. I’m so going to let these other players kill you.”

  He laughed again, but this time she managed to pull her headphones off before she ruined her hearing.

  Chapter Four

  October 2015

  Jason

  “Benji, you are the cutest transformer,” Katie gushed. Cringing at her remark, Jason shook his head. Katie only had the basic knowledge of transformers and didn’t realize a kid dressed as Optimus Prime wouldn’t want to be called cute. Even if he was only a two and a half years old.

  “I’m not cute. I’m Opimus Pwime,” Benji said with his barely-visible lips in a pout behind his mask.

  Katie looked to Jason to have him translate. “He’s Optimus Prime.”

  “Ooooh.” Katie nodded her head, but he could tell she had no idea who he was. “I’m sorry, Benji. I didn’t mean to call you cute.”

  Ever since Benji was a baby, Jason watched Transformer cartoons with him every Sunday morning while they ate waffles. Benji loved the Transformers so much, he wore one of his six transformer costumes every day.

  The bell over the door chimed, drawing his attention away from Katie and Benji. Just like every other time Alexis walked into his store, the air in the room seemed to disappear.

  She hadn’t noticed him, in fact, her eyes were on his son. When she smiled, it lit up the room. “Oh my gosh! It’s Optimus Prime!” Alexis shouted with excitement as she clapped her hands. “Are the rest of the Autobots here?”

  Jason couldn’t have wiped the grin off his face even if he tried. She spoke transformer. He took his eyes off Alexis long enough to see Benji jump up and down. “I’m not weally Opimus Pwime,” Benji said with a giggle.

  Jason was about to translate when Alexis spoke. “I could have sworn you were.” Jason’s chest tightened seeing the interaction between Benji and Alexis, realizing again how wrong he had been about her.

  “I’m not a twansfomo, I’m Benji. See?” He flipped off his transformer mask and grinned ear to ear.

  Alexis knelt down in front of him and offered her hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Benji. I’m Alexis. I’m Katie’s friend.” He put his small hand in hers and exaggerated a handshake.

  “Lexis, you’re pwetty,” he said staring at her the way Jason wished he could.

  Alexis’s smile grew. “Why thank you. You are so sweet. Where did you get that from?” Jason chuckled knowing she meant that statement for him and not Benji.

  “Pwolly my dad,” he said in all seriousness. She looked over her shoulder at Jason with her brows raised. He deserved that; he hadn’t been sweet with her since they met, but he would change that.

  She looked back to Benji and waved him over. “Let’s fix your belt really quick.” Benji braced his hands on her shoulders as she re-adjusted the belt and redid the Velcro in the back so everything was straightened out. “There you go, Optimus Prime. All fixed.” Benji giggled and then he did something Jason never expected. He jumped into Alexis’s arms, knocking her back on her butt, and hugged her.

  The sound of her laugh made his stomach twist. Then when she squeezed Benji tight against her chest to keep him from falling, the ice around his heart melted.

  “Wow! You’re a good hugger too.”

  “Benji, you need to be careful,” Jason said as he rushed around the counter to help them up. He lifted Benji first and planted him on his feet next to him then reached for Alexis. Bracing one hand on her back, Jason offered her his other to help her up. She hesitated for a moment and looked up at him with her teeth biting into her lower lip as if she worried he might bite her.

  The moment she placed her hand in his, his heart skipped a beat. Every horrible thing he ever said to her flashed through his mind. He’d been an epic jerk, and the shame of it felt heavy in his gut.

  “Hey, can someone take our order?” A college student who came in almost daily stood at the register with his fingers drumming on the counter. He looked back at his two friends and rolled his eyes.

  Too focused on Alexis, Jason hadn’t heard anyone come in. He looked over his shoulder for Katie to see if she could take their order. From the other side of the room, she said, “I’m coming.”

  He could’ve sworn he heard one of them mumble, “You could if you were in my bed.” His two friends chuckled along with him. Nobody talked to Katie in that way, especially in his store.

  “Katie, can you take Benji to my office?” She stopped midway to the counter and must have noticed his glare. She reached for Benji’s hand and s
aid, “Let’s go play on daddy’s computer.”

  Once the door closed to his office, he turned to confront the assholes. Before he could get a word out, the guy standing at the counter noticed Alexis. “Damn, girl.” He stared at her chest in her tight fitted T-shirt then down to her long slender legs. With a smirk he stated, “You’re dressed up as my wet dream for Halloween.”

  He heard Alexis suck in a breath, and that was it. He stood in front of the three boys; he couldn’t even call them men with the way they treated Katie and Alexis. With clenched fists, he braced his legs apart ready for a fight. “I don’t know who you think you are, but you will not talk that way in here. Either apologize or leave.”

  His body shook with pent-up anger. “Dude. Chill. Are you blind? Have you seen her?” He pointed to Alexis, who stood behind him chewing on her thumbnail. She had an arm wrapped around her body as if she were trying to protect herself.

  “I don’t care what she looks like. Her existence isn’t permission to say whatever is going on in those empty heads of yours.”

  “We weren’t hurting anyone,” one of them muttered.

  That was it. They were too stupid to get it, so he did what he legally could and told them to, “Get the hell out of here and don’t come back!”

  Sweat dripped down his cheeks as he seethed, trying to keep from punching one or all of them. After a few seconds, the boys turned around and exited mumbling under their breaths. He bent over bracing his hands on his knees while he took deep breaths.

  Alexis placed her hand on his bicep and spoke just above a whisper. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that. It happens all the time.”

  He stood and cupped her face with his hands and looked into her eyes. She held her breath as he spoke. “Just because it does happen doesn’t mean it should. You shouldn’t have to put up with that because you’re beautiful.”