Come What May (Forever and Always #9)
Page 7
God, she was ridiculously hot.
I realized my bottle was overflowing with water from the drinking fountain. I pulled away and wiped off the extra water. I immediately got a hard-on and I adjusted myself in my shorts, not wanting to be on display. I continued to stare at her, not sure what to do. Should I talk to her? What do I say?
Why was this hard for me? I’ve hit on hundreds of girls. I needed to go over and just do it. But I was still nervous.
When she picked up the bar and placed it in the rack, I made my move.
“Hey!” My voice came out high and loud.
She flinched when she heard me, caught of guard.
Fuck. I scared her.
Cassandra pulled her earplugs out. “Mr. Preston?”
“Mike.”
“Hi.” She tightened her gloves. “I didn’t know we went to the same gym.”
“Neither did I.”
“I usually come in the morning, but I was just too tired today.”
Judging by her body, she came religiously. “Cool.” Did I just say that?
“Well, enjoy your workout.” She gave me a light smile.
No. Don’t go. “Thanks for taking over for Julia.” I couldn’t think of something better to say.
“Of course. I don’t mind.”
Think of something else to say. “Do you need help with anything? I can show you a few exercises.”
“I think I’m good. But thanks.”
She kept dodging me. “Would you like to get a drink with me later tonight?” I knew I blurted that out but I was desperate. I didn’t know when I would have another excuse to talk to her.
She touched a loose strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear. I knew she was nervous. “I appreciate the invite but I’m going to pass.”
Rejection… “Okay.” I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice but I couldn’t.
“I’ll see you later.” She put her earplugs in and returned to her workout.
Too depressed to workout, I headed to the locker room and showered. I’ve never been so hurt by a rejection before. All the other girls wanted me and battled for my affection, but the one girl I actually wanted had no interest in me. Why did it have to work out that way?
When I left the locker room and merged into the hallway, she appeared. Now she wore a hoodie with her bag over her shoulder. She glanced at me then looked at the ground. We walked together, both feeling awkward.
I opened the door and let her walk out first. After I stepped out, I released the breath I was holding. Now it would be awkward at work but I didn’t want that to happen. “Cassandra, wait a moment.”
“Yes, Mr. Preston?”
Why wouldn’t she call me Mike? I asked her twice. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to know that your rejection or interest in me will have no effect on our work relationship.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good to know.”
“But can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why won’t you go out with me?”
She fidgeted with her bag then looked at me. “I just don’t think I’m your type.”
“My type?”
She nodded.
“What do you mean by that?”
She seemed uncomfortable. “Call me old-fashioned. I’m not into this modern way of dating. It seems like people sleep together first before they even have a date. It’s just not for me.”
“That’s fine,” I said. “And respectable. I don’t have a problem with that.”
“You just seem like…you get what you want when you want it.”
I refused to lie to anyone. It wasn’t my style. “I have a reputation for being a playboy, and it’s rightfully deserved, but I don’t want that anymore. I would like to go on a real date and get to know you—nice and slow.”
She pondered my words and shifted her weight.
“It’s just a drink,” I said. “No pressure. But I think if you gave me a chance, you would like me. And I’ll treat you with nothing but respect.”
“I don’t know…”
I wanted to pressure her but that’s not how I wanted to get a date. I couldn’t force her. “Think about it and let me know. If you say no, I won’t bother you again. But I’m a good guy. I promise.”
She was still on the fence. People passed us on the sidewalk, everyone heading to their next destination. The more time passed, the less likely it seemed like she would say yes. “Okay. Just a drink.”
Did she just say yes? “Great. I’ll pick you up in an hour.”
“I’ll just meet you at Clare’s Bar.”
That was weird. I decided not to question it. “Great. I’ll see you soon.”
8
Cortland
Being without Monnique was like living in the desert without water. It was torturous, painful, and absolutely miserable. I thought about her constantly, wondering if she was thinking about me. I hadn’t called her once and she hadn’t called me. Over a week had passed, but our communication was silent.
I wanted to die.
How could this tear us apart? I felt like shit for hurting her, but I didn’t think breaking up was the answer. My heart had been faithful to her. No one else had entered my thoughts or my bed. We were so happy together. I wished I hadn’t questioned her about her ex. Perhaps everything in combination pushed her over the edge.
When Sean and Scarlet went to bed, I sat in the living room and stared at the wall. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t do anything. I was constantly in pain, feeling the moisture behind my eyes over and over. Monnique was the most important thing to me, and she was gone.
I couldn’t handle it anymore. I wanted to see her. If I didn’t, I’d go crazy.
I snatched Sean’s keys and took the Ferrari to my house. When I pulled into the driveway, I saw my Infiniti in the driveway. I could see the light from the living room. She was still awake, watching TV.
I approached the door then tapped my knuckles lightly. I wasn’t sure if she would answer. Once she realized I was on the other side of the door, she probably wouldn’t open it.
But she did.
Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing my t-shirt. It reached her knees. The sight made my heart beat in my chest. I missed seeing her wear my clothes.
Neither one of us spoke. I kept my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t grab her and kiss her.
She leaned against the door, looking at me.
“Can I come in?” I asked.
Monnique stepped out of the way, allowing me to walk inside. Once the door was shut, the tension settled in the air. She looked at everything in the room but me. And all I looked at was her. Because she the single most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“I miss you,” I whispered.
She didn’t speak.
“Monnique, I’m sorry about everything. Please, I beg you, let it go.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, shutting me out.
I felt my chest give out with emotion. “Every day without you has been horrific. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can barely concentrate at work. I constantly think about you, missing you. I’m dying here, Monnique. Every day is an ordeal for me. I can’t live without you.” I stepped closer to her, my chest almost touching hers. “You must feel the same way.”
Her tears built up with moisture and she nodded.
My hands hooked around her waist and held her close. That’s when I felt my walls crumble. My tears bubbled and fell. “God, I’ve needed this for days.”
She didn’t return my embrace but she didn’t reciprocate it either.
“Baby, I love you.”
Her face moved to my chest for a moment then she stepped away. “Every time I see you, it hurts.”
Her absence killed me. “It was over a year ago. Don’t live in the past.”
“I just can’t stand the idea of being second best.”
“You aren’t,” I said firmly. “You aren’t.”
“There’s nothing to compete with! I see Scarlet like a sister now. She and I were both going through a hard time and we helped each other through that. Bonds like that don’t just disappear. You’re mistaking friendship for love.”
“I’m sorry. You can’t take back everything. You hid it from me for a reason.”
“Because I didn’t want this to happen!”
She turned her face away from me.
“You can’t leave me. I’ll do anything to make this work, Monnique. You’re the love of my life. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t want Scarlet.”
She shook her head. “Everything is different now…”
“No, it’s not. We love each other. That will never change.”
She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears with the backs of her hands.
“Baby, come on…”
“I can’t stand the idea of you seeing her every day. It will just remind me that I was the girl you settled for.”
“It’s not like that!”
“This would only work if you didn’t see her anymore.”
What? What the hell did that mean? “Monnique, what are you saying?”
“We can work this out, eventually. But not if you see Scarlet every day.”
That was practically a death sentence. “Scarlet is your friend. You can’t just cut her out like that.”
“She’s not my friend anymore,” she said bitterly.
My mind was reeling with the words. I couldn’t believe she would make such an insane request.
“Cortland, it’s her or me. You said you would do anything for me. This is what I want.”
Was this a joke? “How would that even work? Her husband is my boss. My best friend is her brother. I would have to cut everyone out of my life and move away to make that work.”
She stared me down. “You said you would do anything, right?”
I did. But this was my entire family. Ryan had been in my life for years. We did everything together. And he’s been there for me through this entire breakup. Scarlet was my best friend too. And Sean and I had become closer every since we started working together. A life without them was hard to even think about. I loved Monnique and wanted to spend forever with her, but could I sacrifice everything? “Don’t make me choose…”
Monnique tightened her arms across her chest.
“I can’t do that…”
The tears built up in her eyes. “You moved all the way across the country, forced me to leave my family, just so you could be with her! And you won’t do the same for me. Fuck you, Cortland.”
“No, it’s not like that. She offered me a job I couldn’t refuse. That was the deciding factor and you know that.”
“Get out, Cortland.”
“No! Baby, we don’t need to cut them out at all. Just give it time and you’ll realize you’re overreacting.”
“Overreacting?” The tears poured down. “God, I’m so humiliated right now. I can’t believe I fell in love with you. I wished this never happened…”
That was a stab in the heart. “Don’t say that.”
“I meant it! I just want a man that loves me. I don’t want to be beaten, I don’t want to be second-best, I don’t want to compete with anyone. You would do anything for Scarlet but you wouldn’t do the same for me. That’s so wrong.”
“It’s not like that.”
She held up her hand. “We’re done. My stuff was already shipped back and I’m leaving tomorrow.”
My heart fell. “What…?”
She turned away from me. “I’m not coming back.”
The tears fell from my eyes. “No.”
She cried. “Just go.”
I covered my face as the tears fell. This couldn’t he happening. I’ve never loved someone the way I loved her. Losing her was unbearable. She was the light in my life. The happiness in my despair. And she was leaving me.
She sobbed loudly and I sobbed too.
Abandoning her space, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. We both cried, clinging together. I relished the smell of her skin, and the feel of her soft hair. Knowing it wasn’t mine anymore made it unbearable.
“Monnique, I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too…”
I pulled away and pressed my face to hers. Then I leaned in and kissed her. The salt was on my lips, tasting her tears. Her lips were immobile for a moment but then she returned the embrace. We were both so depressed, we clung to each other for any sort of comfort. My kiss was different, unlike any other before. I felt her lips, crying the entire time.
Her hands moved to the back of my neck, pulling me close. I guided her down the hallway, reaching the bedroom we made together. The furniture was mine, but it was half hers. I stripped her clothes away and she removed mine.
When our bodies combined together, we both cried. I moved inside her, not getting the same sexual satisfaction I used to get. I grasped her hand with mine and moved into her slowly. It was the hardest goodbye I’ve ever done. I wanted to stay inside her forever. I didn’t want anyone to claim her as theirs.
I made love to her lips while I worshipped her body. How could she believe she was anything less than perfect when I touched her this way? How could she think Scarlet meant more to me? I loved Monnique with my whole heart. How could there be any doubt?
We both reached our climax but it didn’t feel heavenly. It just hurt. I stayed inside her and held her to my chest, relishing the last time I would hold her. She fit perfectly in my arms because my body was meant for her. I couldn’t sleep because I was too afraid of the following morning. I stared at her, memorizing every detail of her face so I would never forget.
I finally fell asleep against my will, drifting off into dreams where Monnique was mine forever. When I woke up the next morning, Monnique was gone. The remainder of her stuff was missing. Her presence was gone forever.
For the first time in my life, I cried hysterically, collapsing on the floor.
9
Scarlet
When Sean and I woke up the next morning, we realized the Ferrari was gone. And so was Cortland. We quickly put together the pieces and realized Cortland took it to Monnique’s. I was happy with the knowledge. Hopefully, they worked things out. Even if it was just a lonely booty call, at least they were together in an odd way.
But when we took my car to the house, I realized how wrong I was. I went into the house first and saw Cortland sobbing. Monnique’s stuff was gone and I realized what happened. She left. Sean stayed outside so I could hold Cortland until he stopped crying. Sean only cried in front of me, and I knew he wouldn’t do it in front of another guy. I knew Cortland didn’t want to be seen broken by anyone else but me. I held him in my arms and felt him cry into my chest. Seeing him so hurt made my heart break. I broke into tears and cried with him.
Sean took the Ferrari to work, and Cortland and I went back to the house. He was so devastated he couldn’t speak. He was dead, his heart barely beating. There was nothing I could say to make this better. I sat with him and held him, giving him whatever he needed. As soon as Ryan was off work, he was at Cortland’s side. There was nothing else we could do, but hopefully this was enough.
Cortland didn’t work for the rest of the week. He stayed with Sean and I because he didn’t want to go back to the house he shared with Monnique. He said it was too hard. I made a few trips and retrieved his belongings so he wouldn’t have to walk inside. Sean and I got his car and brought it back.
“You can stay with us as long as you want,” I said as I rubbed his back.
“I’ll talk to Sean.” His voice was hollow.
“You don’t need to ask him. You’re my family.”
�
�I just don’t want to step on his toes.”
“Cortland, Sean loves you just as much as I do.”
“I doubt that for some reason.”
Sean came into the house then patted Cortland on the shoulder. “How are you holding up?”
Cortland didn’t say anything.
“I want Cortland to stay with us until…he feels better,” I said.
“Okay,” Sean said.
“See, Cortland. You’re welcome here.”
Cortland turned to Sean. “Are you sure? It’s just…hard to be at the house.”
Sean patted him on the shoulder. “You could live with us forever if you wanted to. You could be an adopted son if you want.”
Cortland smiled for just a moment before the frown reappeared.
“Besides, this place is huge,” Sean said. “And as long as you don’t interrupt my evenings with my wife, I don’t care.”
“I would never,” Cortland said.
I rubbed Cortland’s shoulder. “That’s settled.”
He nodded. “Thank you so much.” The emotion escaped his voice.
Sean and I both gave him a sympathetic look.
I spent time with Cortland every chance I could. Sean was normally possessive and controlling when it came to me. He wanted me all to himself and refused to share me with anyone. But he was being so understanding about Cortland’s breakup. And he never complained or gave me a hard time about it. And I loved him even more because of it.
I came to Sean’s office to have lunch with Cortland every day. I knew the silent moments were the hardest. There was only so much work that could distract him.
I entered his office and placed the salad and sandwich on his desk. I made the same for myself. He pushed his papers to the side then picked at his salad. Cortland was very quiet and didn’t have much to say. But that was fine with me. I knew how much he loved Monnique and it would take him a long time to make any progress. We ate together in silence. Sean was just down the hallway but he didn’t pester me to spend lunch with him. I would give him a kiss on my way out.