Author’s Note
Thank you for continuing this journey with us. We have been trying to keep on a tight schedule and get these books up within three months of each other. Life, and full-time jobs, can make it a real hardship but we’re really working on continuing this series on a timeline and so far we’re succeeding in keeping the momentum. For Book 4 we are going to try and be quicker! Book 3 is a real catalyst of sorts. We establish a few problems and progress the narrative in ways that really propel the story forward.
Book 1 was about finding love. Book 2 was about telling the world. Book 3 is about growing together and Book 4 is about the complicated and hidden nature of mental illness. Getting Book 4 out into the world ASAP will be one of our main goals since Book 4 really dives into the mental health aspect of internally dealing with a past abusive relationship and what that means for any new relationship that comes.
Again, we have to warn that this book does contain sex and foul language. If you’re not into that LOOK AWAY.
We are following the same two people. We are following the same thread. Expecting something else and being ultimately negative about a piece of gay literature when there is a true lack of gay literature in 2017 is a real dick move. It’s hard to write things and to put them out into the world. We never expect people to love what we write but we are grateful for any positivity that comes from our readers. So, thank you for taking all of that into consideration and for being kind if you have been kind! We truly only wish to entertain and appease.
Happy fall and happy reading!
XoXoX
Chamberlain
& Stone
Chapter One
Avery
Olivia’s mom came home later that afternoon. We were asleep but the knock on the door made me jump awake. My hands went up to protect my body from the huge dream demon I was being attacked by.
Olivia rolled off the bed, leaving me missing her touch. She went to the door. I couldn't get up. I was physically and emotionally drained.
“Avery, your father is coming over later and we are all going to discuss what's going to happen next.”
I swallowed and tried to make myself stay calm. “Okay.”
I could hear Olivia and her mom talking in low voices but I didn't try to listen. I didn't really want to think about what was going to happen. When her mom left Olivia came back to the bed.
“What did she say?” I flung my hand across my eyes. Curiosity had won out over dread of the future. “Besides saying my dad was coming.”
Olivia immediately took on the role of the informative caretaker. No more bothered by my question then she would be by an outburst or a quarrel. Her main objective was always to calm and answer me. “She called the Principal,” she informed me. “They’re suspending Ben at least for now. We’ll skip Monday for nerves. On Tuesday they’ll need us to go in and give a statement. My mom said she’s set it up so we can do the police report as well as the school hearing all at once to make it less stressful on you. It will be the Principal, Vice Principal, your father, my mother, and probably a pair of policemen since that’s customary for filing reports. The police have been notified. Ben won’t be there. If you want, I don’t have to go. But I want to go if it’ll help you. Plus I was eyewitness at one point but she doesn’t know that yet.” Olivia seemed nervous. There was a lot of information I could take either way.
“Of course I want you there.”
“Babe, it’d be fine if you didn’t,” she shrugged defensively. “I can tell you’re not comfortable speaking about what he did. I just want things to be easier for you.”
“That's exactly why I need you there. For backup. I'm not sure I would be able to say it all. And you might have to push me, just be there for me.”
“Okay,” she nodded, eyes trailing down momentarily, like maybe she wasn't sure. “But if at any time you don’t want me to hear something just say and I’ll go. I just want you to say all you need to say in there. And I’m sorry I forced you. I’m sorry about all this, it feels selfish. I stole your voice.”
“You gave me one,” I looked her in the eye. “Ben could have tried something with you and he would have with some other girl so he needed to be stopped.”
“We can only know what we know,” she said awkwardly, avoiding my eyes. “What we know is enough.” But I could see her thinking. She was probably itching to do a criminal background search on him. I hadn’t given her any time. She was a reporter after all.
“I just didn’t want him in your space,” she said, surprising me. “After reading that entry all I could think about was the lodge and how easy it was for him to get you behind a closed door. I’m so glad you had me room with you Avery. Anyone else wouldn’t have-” Her body stiffened and she stopped. She held herself like she was cold. “Nevermind,” she said. She didn’t want to be saying these things. “I don’t want to be thinking about that.”
“Me either. But I do think about it sometimes. I'm glad too. My life was a lot worse without you in it and that instinct that told me to get closer to you was right.”
“I can’t stop saying I’m sorry,” Olivia said. “If I’d met you sooner… You never would’ve had to go through that entire period of your life where you felt the way you did and felt alone and felt you deserved punishing. We wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t have to deal with any of this. You just never should’ve been in that space.”
“You can't do that to yourself. We can't change any of what happened. It happened, it's over and now we can move on.”
It wasn't over though. I was likely going to have to face him again. Everyone would know what happened. It was a school and a community where gossip spread like crazy.
“I'm glad we don't have to go to school but people will notice that Ben’s not there and neither are we. When we do go back, I'll only see you between classes.”
“Avery, you can’t think about that stuff,” Olivia said, bothered. “It doesn’t matter what people think. What matters is he needed to be removed and we were the only ones who could do something.”
“I didn’t,” I said. “You did. I was just going to let him get away with it.”
“No,” she said. “Don’t say that. This can’t happen without you. You’re being exceedingly brave and what you’re doing isn’t easy no matter how it’s happened, no matter if you told anyone let alone telling me. You can’t hate yourself for thinking it’s smart to keep it in. You have guilt and responsibility and doubts regarding all that went on and your role in what happened. For you, it’s not as black and white as it can be for me. If it had been me, what would you have done?”
“I would’ve killed him,” I said, my jaw clenching.
It was true. Feeling able to kill someone, even Ben, shook me. What I really wanted now was to get out of town but that wasn’t going to work.
“Can we get in the hot tub?”
“Sure,” Olivia laughed lightly. “But besides killing him, what would you have done?” She wasn’t going to let me get out of answering that.
“I would’ve tried to get you to tell. If you didn’t I would have,” I said, looking down at the bed.
She took my hand in hers and let out a sigh. I felt her other hand push my hair out of my face. “Come on,” she said.
“What? Is that wrong?” I looked up at her and scrunched my brow. When I did I could tell it wasn’t wrong at all, not to her.
“Of course not,” she said, tugging at my hand to get me to stand up. “Let’s just go outside.” I think she sensed something done about me.
I got up and followed her into the closet. We changed and she led me downstairs, toward the back. No one was in the common areas but I could see light coming fr
om under the door of the room that I'd guessed to be an office. Maybe her mom was in there doing something with this whole mess. Letting the adults take care of it was a new concept for me.
“I should thank your mom again,” I said.
“Okay,” Olivia said. “If you want.” She let go of my hand and gave an apprehensive nod to the room with the light. She crossed her arms about herself and took in a breath, deciding to leave me alone. “I’ll just be outside,” she said quietly, walking away.
I hadn't meant right now but it was probably a better time when there was no one else around.
I looked to where Olivia had disappeared and then back to the underlit door. Maybe I could just get it over with. I strode over and knocked. My knuckles scraped the expensive grooved wood and I liked it.
“Come in.”
When I swung the door open I saw her in an expensive leather chair with her cell phone in her hand. As I approached she sat it down.
“I- I just wanted to thank you for helping and handling this. I'm not used to parents doing that. I figure that Olivia probably hasn't told you a lot about my family. She knows I'm not exactly thrilled about people knowing. My dad hasn't been around for awhile and my mom is in rehab so... Just, thanks for being a decent adult human being. I'm sorry if I messed up your day or anything." I was rushing through my speech so fast she couldn't speak. "Anyway, I should go find Olivia.”
“Avery, wait,” she said, standing.
I realized I wasn’t going to get away with just that.
“Come here,” she said, walking over to me and pulling me just like Olivia would to sit down beside her in a chair.
“Look, I have to admit I’ve never been in this situation before. I’ve never known my daughter to have a close friend- let alone a talented and beautiful girl like you- that she loves so much she’s ready to marry,” she let out a deep breath. “What I do know is that no one deserves to go through what you went through. And I know I do not have the details, nor do I have the place to expect you to procure such things for my perusal but-” She looked up at me and held my hand in both of hers. “I would like to be here for you. For anything,” she insisted. “Medical- Emotional- Monetary- You’re a very nice girl. A sweet girl. I could tell that right away when we sat down to eat last night. You’re honest and you’re strong. And you’re good Avery. You’re a good person.” She used one of her hands to brush my hair from my eyes. “No matter what happens with Olivia. I’d like you to know you can always come here if you need help. Someone will always be here for you.”
Her eyes were so intense. She was being genuine and generous with the resources she had.
“I’ve been told I’m intimidating,” she laughed awkwardly. “Not very approachable,” she smiled through an iffy head tilt of acknowledgment on her part. “Olivia can certainly attest to that but I’d like to be somewhat of a second parent to you, if you’ll have me. I’m not just trying to handle everything and have it be done and over. This isn’t some shame on you, if anything it’s a shame on the institution and adults like me who should have our eyes opened a bit wider at all times. What you went through is damaging- both- emotionally and physically. More than anything- I’m concerned with your health, your well-being. I want to know that you’re alright. And if you’re not, I want to help you Avery.”
She paused when I didn’t speak.
“If there’s anything I can do. Even if it’s just lend an ear. I’d like to do that for you. I don’t like knowing you or Olivia would be keeping so much in when things like this are going on. Your father told me he overheard... I know talking to your parents can seem frightening but we really do want what’s best for you. That’s all.” She took in a shaky breath. “Olivia and Ben were very close,” she said. “Olivia mentioned him often, not that she spoke a lot, but that’s exactly what I mean. I’d allowed her to spend hours and hours with him, a lot of it out of school. My judgement was poor. I thought he could be trusted because Huntington is trusted. And to think-” She stopped herself. I watched her take her face in her hands like Olivia always did. “Forgive me,” she said. “This hasn’t been the easiest of days. I want to ask you so many things but I know it’s not right to ask, not right to push you. I just want to ask if you’re alright. If there’s anything I can do. I’m right here. And I’m sorry for having failed you both. That’s something I sadly cannot change.”
“Thank you." I didn't want to cry again. I couldn't. I had no tears left really. I would just dry sob if I broke down. "I'm really grateful to you for that and I know, to you, I seem like just a kid and Olivia and I are really young to be making these kinds of decisions about getting married but I'm sure. I thought all that whole soulmate crap was stupid until I met her. I love her and I'm never going to stop no matter what happens. As for the Ben stuff if it's any consolation he never would have touched her because of you. He was afraid. I didn't have any parents there to scare him into backing off so..." I let the rest of what she said process. "You didn't fail anyone. Ben is a manipulator. He's very good at fooling people into thinking he's legitimate and alright. I'm sure you'll see and hear what happened between us. Then you'll know what kind of a person he really is."
“He underestimated you Avery. And he’s going to regret that,” she said. “I can’t speak for your parents but I met your father and, like me, he seemed destroyed by what he had to learn today. Take my word when I say, sometimes parents can’t see what they’re doing to their own children. I know I couldn’t see why Olivia wouldn’t just talk to me until she opened her mouth and said what she said last night. There’s just no easy way to try and understand another person… And children, though abnormally strong, can be unpredictably sensitive and even harder to read. Despite what you think about your being an easy target because of your parents, I know your parents would’ve found a way to stop Ben. You didn’t need me today. Your father would’ve taken it up with the school board and the police, he’s a man of conviction and sense, if he had to he would’ve pulled you out of that school, just like I would, I know that too. The only fear he could have now is you. What you’re feeling. What you went through. All the things he can’t know. All the things he should’ve been there for and been better at. It’s your word versus Ben’s now. If for some reason you decided not to report him, not to talk. There would be nothing either of us could do. Our hands would be tied. Our boats are oddly similar, his and mine.”
I was biting hard on the inside of my mouth, keeping my heart from leaping from my chest. This needed to happen and I was going to go through with everything. "I don't care what I have to do to make sure he doesn't get to another girl. If you need evidence I've got it. Texts, pictures, and my journal." The journal could also be my word against Ben's but if it would help I'd let them use it. I might have to move across the country and disguise myself after. I sighed at my brain's response. "You're kind and I know Olivia will be able to communicate better with you someday soon. She's just felt like she was put in a mold and she was afraid to step out of it for fear of disappointing you and Mr. Holbrook. You know she really wants to go into biomedical."
“Biomedical?” Mrs. Holbrook had a queer look on her face. She cracked an obvious smile. “She’s always just liked to toy with the lab and with playing God. Which is dangerous and not her place. That’s not the same thing as wanting to actually be a scientist. It’s sweet but not the same. No, Olivia likes English. You’ve seen her. Nose always in a book. And she’s an excellent writer. She always wins contests and awards. She’s been published. The only thing she loves more, besides you,” she smiled kindly, “is definitely music. And she wasn’t cut out for that. And that’s no more her fault than my own or her father’s. We were never great at the arts. It wasn’t going to be for her. Not in the genes. You have to deal with the deck you’ve been given. No one wants to set their child up for failure. I couldn’t allow that.”
"Maybe you should ask her what she wants and loves. She might surprise you. She's amazing at music. I've heard he
r play."
“She’s good, not great,” Mrs. Holbrook said decidedly. “There was a certain stage where it became obvious that Olivia was not as good as those around her. Not as a pianist. It was just stressful to let her try after that, in competition, so we pulled her out. She was so good at so many other things. Letting her struggle just seemed counter-productive. Self-esteem must be protected in a child. Her father and I shielded her then. It was our decision and I don’t think it was wrong. She went on to try other things and excelled with great ease. It was a choice. We protected her.”
The air was thick with my thoughts now. Her mother wasn’t listening at all, she was just explaining things like most adults did to kids. I watched Mrs. Holbrook speak and tried my best not to act out.
“As far as asking her what she wants? Olivia chose her major. Olivia chose her school. Her father and I expressed our own dreams but Olivia decided her fate. I never thought to ask further Why wouldn’t she choose what she wants? And what would choosing English have to do with us at all, for that matter? Neither of us were keen on that plan. Are you saying she chose English to appease us somehow? Some sort of compromise that makes no sense to anyone except her?”
Paper Dolls [Book Three] Page 1