I was getting a little upset and I knew there was no way around that after everything today. "She loves to play and she feels like she can't because you don't want her to. I'm not talking about publicly but even at home. And sometimes struggle is good. She could have learned even more."
This wasn't my place or my fight really but I had to try and get her to see Olivia not just what she THOUGHT she saw. "She loves English and reading but she loves Science and she thinks her dad is dead-set against her going into the field so she settled for English because at least there she knows she likes the subject. She does everything because she feels like that's what you would want and she doesn't usually speak up for herself. I guess she and I are alike in that way."
Her mom laughed but it was a bitter laugh.
“Well, if all that’s true it’s absurd,” she said simply.
But she didn’t clarify past that. I heard her swallow hard before speaking.
“Olivia is so cryptic with us. How are we to know anything for certain about her? She treats us like strangers.”
She looked to the right of her. There was a picture on her desk of Olivia behind a podium. It must’ve been years ago but already Olivia carried herself like an adult, completely together. She looked to be making a speech. She looked like a future president, so serious. So sure of herself.
“I’m sorry Avery,” her mother apologized shakily. “It’s hard for me to talk about knowing my daughter with a person who somehow knows more. Things I’ve wanted to know but never been gifted. I can’t make Olivia understand me or her father. I can’t make her want to talk to me, or like me. I can’t make Olivia do anything and I’d never want to.” She seemed really shaken. “We’ve lived as strangers in this house and I never wanted that.”
"Just talk to her," I pleaded. "She's probably going to be mad at me for telling you all this but I know what it's like to be without a real connection to your parents and you guys could have a better relationship if you just talk. She has to meet you halfway but you can start by asking."
“I do talk to her. You were there. You saw. I ask her things. I try. She doesn’t. The only reason she talked at all was because you were there. I’ve seen a lot of TV shows, read a lot of books. This sort of thing is always in them. Parents of teenagers having a hard time. Not being able to get their kids to communicate. There’s only so much you can do before you feel like you really are the enemy. My solution was to leave her alone, give her everything she could want, and hope she knew she could come to me. I can’t explain that anymore, not to you, not to her, not to myself. But I did try. With Olivia I always tried. I wasn’t going to give her more reasons to hate me, Avery. That is all in her head.”
That was it. I knew why they weren't talking. They were both stubborn and convinced of their own truths. "Okay, well, I'm sorry I butted in and thank you again." I backed out of the office and started to head to the back yard.
Faintly, as I left her office, I could hear Olivia’s mom laugh and say, “For God’s sake, stop apologizing, Avery!” And in good humor.
“Okay,” I laughed, leaving her.
When I got outside Olivia was sitting on one of the loungers by the pool, a book open and her attention totally diverted. I had time to just look and appreciate her without her knowing.
I really was nervous about her finding out about how I’d talked to her mom about her major and all the issues they had. I walked over and placed a hand on her hair smoothing my fingers along it. It was soothing for me to feel her even like this.
She pulled my hand down and took her sunglasses off to look up at me. “How’d it go?” She asked. “She didn’t rip you apart, did she?”
"No. It went fine. She was really nice." I had to tell her what we talked about.
“Nice?! You’re so funny,” Olivia patronized, pulling me down to sit ontop of her. “Bunnies are nice. Puppies are nice. Judge Holbrook? Not so fucking nice.” She didn’t like my words but she was looking at me and definitely amused by me, the sight of me anyway.
She pulled me down to be ontop of her. And stole my face away to kiss me hard, biting my lip before pulling back. "I missed you," she said, noticing me.
I felt a hunger in her. Reading did that to her sometimes, it turned her on.
I groaned, wanting to forget all her secrets I’d just spilt. I just wanted her, in this second, but I controlled myself. I pulled back. "I need to tell you something,” I said.
“Uh-oh, what?” She asked darkly.
I nodded, bouncing my leg over the side of the lounger. "I told your mom that you wanted to study biomedical research and that she should let you play more often. Don't be mad. I didn't mean to. She got me all riled up."
“Avery?!” Her eyes bugged out and she laid her head back on the lounger, covering her eyes with her fists. “Can’t we have just one second? Can’t we enjoy just one second without there being needless drama about everything?! I didn’t ASK you to do that?!” Her voice was accusatory and then it cracked. “I didn’t want you to do that. What the hell?!”
"I know, I know! I didn't even realize it was coming out till it was too late and then I was on a roll. I'm an idiot." I reached out for her hand, trying to tell if this was going to be okay
“Ugg,” she groaned. “Avery?!... We were finally in a good place.”
"Yeah." I didn't have a defense. What I had done was wrong no matter how well intentioned. "I'm sorry. I fucked up."
She pulled me down and kissed me. “You’re not allowed to be sorry anymore,” she said, catching me by surprise and kissing me again.
I kissed her back after a second. It surprised me. "So, you're not going to yell at me?" If it was some kind of free pass because she felt bad about telling my dad then I was gonna be upset.
“Did you want me to yell at you?” She asked, pushing me back.
“No, I hate it when you’re mad at me.” I pushed my hair back and rocked into her. “I just wouldn’t blame you for yelling at me is all. If you don’t, I’m not going to argue though.” My logic was laughable.
Olivia laughed at me and pulled me down into her. “Yelling at you won’t change what you did,” she said, searching me. “Why’d you do that, anyway? Some sort of twisted payback?” She had me fully on her now and I felt the sun on my back even though it was close to dying now from the time of the day. “I can fight my own battles,” she said calmly. “I don’t need you fighting them for me. I’m not afraid to talk to my mom, I’m just sick of her pretending to hear me.”
“No! Not payback. She said something about you that kind of pissed me off, like she wanted to lay the blame for your lack of communication on you. That and- I know what it’s like to not have a good relationship with your parents and I thought if she actually changed and tried to talk to you- like a real person- she would maybe find out how amazing you are, not just your accomplishments but you as a person.”
I could see what she meant about her mother now. She was reasonable on one hand but ready to misunderstand and cling blindly to her own opinions on the other. I laid my head in Olivia’s lap, pulling the book from her hand and putting it, page down, on my face. “Ugh.”
She sat up a bit and pulled the book from me. I felt her hand reach down behind my neck as she thumbed my cheek and looked down. “My mother will always think it’s more me than her. She holds conversations with herself,” she nearly whispered. The way she spoke and moved, it was all so addicting. “She doesn’t even know she does it. She’s just used to it.”
“You’re right.” I rolled my eyes and kicked myself mentally. How could I ever think I could take on the Judge? “It’s hard to put that in line with the woman who just offered to be a parent to me.”
“Wait, what?” Olivia laughed, surfacing quickly, mind coming up to float at the top of such deep mucky water. Sometimes I felt her thoughts were heavy and sometimes I knew.
“Yeah, she said she wanted to be a second parent to me if I was up for it. She gave me this long speech about how it wasn�
�t my fault and I shouldn’t feel ashamed because I was brave. And gave me a bunch of compliments and that was that.”
The entire conversation was a blur to me. I really didn’t remember every particular but that part I did remember. That and her inability to bend and think that she could be wrong about Olivia.
“Wow,” Olivia said, her brow scrunching as she thought about it. “That’s actually… Really cool.”
She laid back on the chair again and rest in the dying sun. Her skin warm since she still hadn’t gone in.
“Yeah, I was kind of stunned. I didn’t know what to say and thus my word vomit later.”
“That’s really nice actually… She must really like you. Not that I’m surprised,” she said, smiling and craning her neck just a bit to make sure I knew her reaction had nothing to do with me.
“I am! I haven’t exactly shown her my most parent-friendly qualities in some cases.” It did make me hope though. If we had her on our side then maybe we would have an easier time.
“Avery, you’ve been adorable, what are you talking about?!” Olivia laughed at me.
“Adorable? How? I’ve been a total spaz.” I really never saw these qualities that people saw in me. I just knew that they thought they existed and that it garnered positive reactions from people. That, I understood. Just like being pretty was an advantage on some levels and a handicap in others, being enigmatic was the same. When people got to know me and not many did, I just turned out to be a goofy weirdo.
“Believe me, babe, to them you’ve been a breath of fresh air. The only thing they have to compare you to is me. And, to them, I’m a mess. Not that that isn’t true.”
“I’m glad they don’t hate me. That would have been an issue. Your mom was a surprise. I expected her to eat me alive.”
“No one’s allowed to do that but me,” Olivia teased.
A bolt shot through me, straight to my toes and back up, making my head spin a little. “You can’t say things like that when we’re about to have a dinner with our parents. You just make it hard not to touch you.”
“Maybe that’s what I want?” She said, challenging me, the muscle in her neck pulling. “This house has many rooms you haven’t seen,” she teased, her hands moving to my legs and rubbing them.
I could do nothing more than let her touch me. When she spoke, her voice drew me in and turned my nerves on high. I needed this. “Let’s go. Now.”
“God, you’re so bossy today,” she said, waiting for me to get up.
“Is that a bad thing?” I was reaching down for her hand. “I thought you liked me bossy,” I tossed my hair over my shoulder and pulled her in front of me. “Lead the way.”
“You’re right,” she said, letting me push her. She walked to the french doors but then turned left and went along the length of the house, skating the perimeter of the yard before hitting a pretty rock path that went up the property to a part of it I’d never seen.
The path went up along the fence. We passed a lot of plants and got to a part of the property that seemed almost like a little jungle or forest.
“Are you taking me on a safari or something?” I scoffed and pushed a branch out of the way.
Up in the distance I could see a large tree and a structure up towards the top in the thick branches. It was wood, natural and cabin like, a perfect little house in the sky. .
“I haven’t been up here in a while,” Olivia panted.
“Obviously,” I commented. She smacked my arm and I just laughed.
The path ended and there was a solid slanted ladder that she started to climb. It was all beautiful- strong wood.
“When I was younger I told my parents I wanted a treehouse. What I meant and what I got were two entirely different things,” she panted steadily as she climbed the ladder up and up. “I was thinking of something simple like in The Sandlot, something makeshift. Then I came up here and saw they literally gave me a mansion ontop of a tree. The disconnect between my vision and theirs could not be more prevalent. But it’s nice. I appreciate it now that I’m older.”
When we got up to the top it was a porch landing, we had to walk a swinging bridge that lead up to another landing and a normal-sized front door.
“Okay, don’t laugh,” she said, taking her thumb to the latch and opening the door.
“Holy shit.” I’d never seen anything like it. It was insane, like a little luxury condo in a tree. “Rich people…. And their tree houses,” I muttered.
“My dad has a thing for architecture,” she smiled. I liked the way she was huffing from the tiny bit of exercise, her cheeks were all flushed and the additional glow really suited her. “So, what do you think?”
“I think it’s amazing and I want one. We could just live up here.” I slid my hand into hers and pulled her around. “More importantly you’re cute when you’re out of breath.”
“Hey,” she smiled, letting me take her and pull her in close.
“Hey, now about what you were saying earlier…” I leaned in as I said the words and kissed her, softly but when she put a hand up on my neck I started to get impatient.
“Oh yeah? What was that?” She teased, pretending not to know. Olivia was really good at playing hard to get. It was kind of unnerving.
“Um, I believe you were going to do really dirty things to me. At least that’s the impression I got when you had your hands all over me. “
“What? When was this?” She was a total tease. Completely pretending to be oblivious. “I thought you wanted to see my house?” She lied incredulously.
“No, I wanted you to see your way inside my pants.” My brain was not the one talking at this point. I licked my lips and leaned in again, nipping her bottom lip as I kissed her. “Don’t even play with me.”
“Oh, but, I love playing with you,” she teased dreamily. “You’re hot when you’re desperate.”
“This is all your fault.” I looked around. “You start kissing and rubbing my legs and then you take me up to the tree mansion and of course I’m desperate.” I stopped, centering my focus on her. “Also, I feel like I’m always desperate for you.” I kissed her ear and trailed down her neck with small light touches. “It doesn’t hurt that you’re too hot to process.”
“Too hot to process?” She teased, her breath getting airy.
“Yes, you’re too beautiful for human eyes to perceive. You literally break my eyes with your hotness.”
“Fuck,” she said, falling back on the wall. “I get weak when you say these things,” she said, allowing me to push her.
“Now you know how I feel when you walk in a room.” She looked good up against that wall and I wanted to remember. My eyes roamed her face down to her body. She didn’t let me get far before she grabbed my face and started another round of taking me, just kissing.
I wasn’t going to be able to stand up for long with the way she was killing me. It was hard even now. I broke the kiss and looked around. “We need to find somewhere to sit or something.”
“Okay,” Olivia said, pushing me back and spinning me.
There was a large bed in the main entry room. She had me facing another doorway where another room was and then maybe another, just doorways and odd but addicting natural light.
“You’re going to give me the tour?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Here I thought we were all business.
“What do you want from me, huh?” She asked, whining. “Do you want a place to sit? Do you want me to fuck you? Do you want a tour? Use your words Lockhart.”
“I thought I was pretty clear with my intentions,” I countered. “When I said we needed to sit down or something it was because you were making me too weak to stand up. I need you to fuck me. It’s not a want.”
“Well okay, then,” she laughed, leading me backward until my knees hit the bed.
She pushed me down until we sank together onto the mattress with her on top. I didn’t want control right now. She needed to take it. I couldn’t make decisions or take the lead. When she touc
hed my face, I pushed into her hand, wishing she could read my mind. I needed her to be doing things already.
“Please?” I asked, weak.
“Come ‘ere,” she said, tugging at my face and forcing me to kiss her. I felt her body pushing into mine, dragging up my front and tugging on me. “Why are you wearing this?” She asked, tugging at my suit in frustration.
I felt her lips at my neck as she tugged at my clothes. “Take it off,” I said. I helped her, pulling at the straps and fabric that kept us from feeling each other. I raised my body up and she pulled the top the rest of the way off and tossed it. I pulled my hair away from my face and went right back to kissing her, parting her lips and intruding- taking her taste.
The bottoms were harder. Her body was on mine and I didn’t want that to change but she lifted up and I pushed them down quickly. She pulled them the rest of the way off and dropped them off to the ground.
Paper Dolls [Book Three] Page 2