Paper Dolls [Book Three]

by Emma Chamberlain

  “It is,” I breathed. A few seconds more and I wouldn’t care that Skylar was out there waiting. “Can we continue this when we get home?”

  She ran her hands up my sides under my hoodie until they both reached my breasts and she squeezed. Her body pushed into mine, all kinds of pressure. “I’ll be mad if we don’t,” she confessed.

  I groaned, working myself up to pull away and go back. The thought of what was to come would keep me entertained. Torturing myself with denial of her would make it sweeter.

  “Good, because I was going to have to do a lot of laps if you said no.” I pulled away, tugging her with me by the hand. We left the bathroom, heading back to the table.

  Our pizza had arrived and we sat down. I scooted into the booth first, a little happier than when we’d left.

  “I was wondering when you guys were going to finish breaking-in the bathroom and come back for nourishment.”

  “Ha-ha, you’re so funny. We weren’t having sex in the bathroom. We would have been gone much longer.”

  “Welllll,” Olivia said. “We might’ve been.”

  I giggled. “Okay, we almost did. It’s my fault.” I looked up, pursing my lips. “Have you seen my fiancé? She’s hot.”

  Skylar looked Olivia up and down and made an exaggerated bitch face.

  I heard her yelp though and saw her body move.

  “Okay, ow,” she said, flaring her eyes and looking down at her pizza as she took a bite.

  Pretty sure Olivia kicked her beneath the table.

  “What was that play you guys were talking about in the car?” Olivia asked, distracting me.

  “Those were actually scenes from Degrassi,” Skylar laughed. “Avery and I used to make fun of it all the time but it was always fun to play out.”

  “Shh,” I scolded. “I don’t need her to know about all my guilty pleasures.”

  “You two ever reenact scenes from The L Word?” Olivia cleared her throat after asking and then I watched her eat pizza.

  I busted out laughing and looked over at Skylar. “No, but that would be hilarious.”

  Skylar turned red and looked away, picking at her pizza.

  “You seen that show, Skylar?” Olivia asked.

  “Yes, Avery and I watched it together,” she said.

  “What?” Olivia looked up and she seemed kind of shaken by that.

  On the other side of things Skylar seemed like she felt a little bad.

  I wasn’t crazy. There was definitely something going on. Olivia wasn’t telling me something. I could tell when she avoided talking about something and Skylar was just up and down. Her demeanor was switching from normal to uncomfortable.

  “Yeah, we used to watch it in secret at Skylar’s house. We finished the whole series. Is that weird?”

  It wasn’t but that just made it feel like it meant more than it did.

  “No,” Olivia said. “That’s actually kinda cute and I’m jealous. I had to watch those all alone. I remember when Dana died, I was so broken. My parents thought I lost some friend or something. Turns out I was just embarrassing and pathetic.”

  “That’s not pathetic, babe. I was sad too. Skylar and I literally cried all night and then went to bed. She had to hug me for an hour before I could go to sleep.”

  Olivia shifted in her seat and hugged her stomach with her arms.

  I reached out and touched her arm. “You feeling okay?”

  Skylar cleared her throat and put down her pizza, wiping her hands on her napkin.

  “Yeah,” Olivia lied, forcing a laugh. “I guess I’m just jealous of you two.”

  “Jealous? Why? Because she knew me before you did?” I stopped. It was the same kind of thing she felt when I talked about Holland.

  “She doesn’t get to make out with me and you do. That’s something you can make her jealous about,” I kidded.

  When I looked over at Skylar she avoided my eyes.

  “I don’t want anyone to be jealous,” Olivia said quietly, more to herself. She wasn’t having a good time.

  “I make really bad jokes. Did you know that about me?” I was just trying to lighten the mood but it just got worse. I hadn’t even eaten anything with all the work I was trying to do keeping the mood even.

  “What’s your favorite play Skylar?” Olivia asked.

  I watched as Skylar’s eyes flicked up pinning Olivia down. “Stop Kiss. It’s a story about two women who fall in love. They don’t even really know what’s happening at first. They just get closer and closer until they’re best friends and then one day they figure it out and kiss.”

  I laughed. “I thought your favorite play was Wicked. And anyway, one of the women in that play gets the shit beat out of her because some guy sees them kissing. It’s sad.”

  “Avery!” Olivia gasped. “She just said that was her favorite play and you’re tearing it to shreds.”

  “No, I’m not. I’m just saying it’s sad. She ends up in the hospital. I didn’t know you liked it so much,” I offered.

  “S’okay. She’s right. It is sad but it has a happy ending. They’re still together at the end. I like happy endings,” Skylar said.

  Olivia was staring at her openly, slowly pulling the charm on her necklace back and forth while she seemed to be thinking of something quite sad. If I didn't know any better I might say Olivia was feeling sorry for her. Skylar accepted her look and gave an apologetic shrug.

  “Okay, we should get a box because I’m ready whenever you guys are.”

  I was tired of feeling this thing, whatever it was. I needed to talk to both of them but I knew I couldn’t get Skylar alone without leaving Olivia.

  I flagged down our waitress and asked her for a box. She brought it back right away with the check and I grabbed it from Olivia, handing over some cash and telling her to keep the change.

  Skylar had put the pizza in the box and stood up, waiting for us.

  “You should take the pizza,” I told her.

  “Na, I won’t eat it. You guys take it,” Skylar answered.

  I shrugged and took the box, leading us through the dining room, past all the happy people enjoying their dinners. We couldn’t even manage to have a normal dinner with a friend.

  I let Olivia drive again, just getting in the passenger side and handing the pizza back to Skylar.

  “Guess we need to drop you off,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Skylar said.

  Olivia drove back to school. I could smell the pizza in the back. I wondered if either of them noticed I didn’t eat. I’d probably have to later.

  Neither of them were talking and I didn’t want to make it any weirder than it had been in the restaurant so I was just stayed quiet too.

  I needed to get to the bottom of why they were weird. Olivia not wanting to be physical with me in front of Sky and their exchanges over dinner. They hadn’t had a lot of time to talk when they were alone at practice but something had happened.

  I hated feeling like I was being an idiot. I had a life before Olivia and the parts that included being in intimate friendship places with others seemed to bother her. I got that but there hadn’t ever been anything between me and Sky.

  We pulled into the lot and stopped by Skylar’s car. It was the only one in the lot. A lonely little Fiat in the middle of a sea of concrete.

  “Hey, text me to let me know you got home okay,” I told her.

  “You got it,” she smiled, happier again at least for the moment.

  She got out and shut the door.

  I felt Olivia’s hand on my wrist. “Wait here,” she said, unbuckling and getting out.

  I watched her walk around and chase Sky.

  Skylar slowed and turned and they talked for a second at a bit of a distance while I watched through the window.

  They seemed sad or something. It looked like Olivia apologized. I watched Olivia bridge the gap and hug her. I watched Skylar hang there a second before closing her eyes and hugging her back.

  It was strange but…
It was something.

  Skylar got in her car after that and Olivia came back.

  “What was that?” I asked when she was back in the car.

  “I just apologized,” Olivia said. “Things were weird and it was my fault. I didn’t want her going home sad.” She moved to start the car and drive back.

  “What do you mean?” I slid my hand over to her leg. “Why would it be your fault?”

  “I made it weird,” Olivia said. “I didn’t mean to, I was just jealous.”

  “Oh.” I digested that. That could be all but it felt like more.

  “Was it The L Word marathons that did it?” I was teasing her a little.

  “No,” she said. “It’s been coming on since the lodge,” she confessed. “Things just pile up. Today it was just you two talking in the car. I didn’t know what you two were saying and you were both laughing and flirting and I just wasn’t a part of it and I couldn’t insert myself because it felt wrong. Who knows though maybe it was just the fact you invited her and I wasn’t ready to go out with someone else tonight. I'm not in a right place.”

  “Flirting?” I cringed.

  “Flirting,” she said back. There wasn't anger or malice in it though. “Yeah,” she confirmed.

  “I wasn’t flirting with her and I really doubt she was flirting with me.”

  “Avery, you kinda were,” she made a sure face. “And she was flirting back. We all flirted.”

  “How? I don’t even remember what we said.”

  “I’m so confused. Have I been unknowingly flirting with everyone,” I deadpanned.

  “You just don’t know how cute or sexy you are, that’s all,” she said.

  “That is a premise I will accept but I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to flirt. You need to hit me or something when I do that stuff. Maybe we need a signal. Like you whistle and I know you’re just trying to say, Avery, you’re flirting again.”

  “Babe, flirting isn’t bad and I shouldn’t be jealous because it’s just talking and teasing and being nice and having a good time. It’s not like you’re secretly kissing each other behind my back or anything like that.”

  I snorted, smacking my knee with my free hand. “Me and Sky? That’s freaking hilarious. Nope. You’re the only one I’m kissing.”

  “Okay, why the hell is that so fucking funny to you?!” Olivia seemed kind of heated about that.

  “Um, because she’s one of my best friends and I don’t feel that way about her and she doesn’t want to be secretly kissing me either. I’m pretty sure she’d have tried it by now if she did.”

  Olivia stayed quiet at that until she got uncomfortable from not speaking.

  “I just think she’s a wonderful person,” Olivia said, surprising me. She wasn't mad or bitter about that, she was sad.

  “She is! I wouldn’t be close to her if she wasn’t. She was the only person who I ever felt really liked me for me here. She’s great and really supportive. I just haven’t ever thought of her that way. I didn’t ever let anyone I was dating get close to me and she was a friend. I didn’t think of her in a romantic or sexual way.”

  “Well… She’s beautiful and wonderful and I don’t understand why you never tried to kiss her. Maybe I’m just being crazy now. You two really never kissed?”

  “Because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and I don’t think she’d have been into it anyway. No, we’ve never kissed. I used to stay over at her house a lot and we would sleep in the same bed and we’ve cuddled but never anything like kissing.”

  I didn't know where this was coming from. It made me a little paranoid. Did she want me to have kissed Skylar? I knew that wasn’t true. I just didn’t get it.

  “Where is this coming from? Are you just curious?”

  “Curious?” She asked queerly, not understanding.

  “Curious to know if we’d kissed or not. If we ever crossed the line.”

  “Of course I’m curious Avery. Have you seen Skylar? She’s not exactly hideous.”

  Which was an understatement. “And come on, The L Word?! How could you watch The L Word sitting next to her and do nothing?! I can’t even watch that show by myself and do nothing.”

  “Wait, you get off to The L Word? Let me just think about that image for a second.” I sat back and smiled.

  “Every time I say something serious you make a fucking joke,” she grumbled sadly.

  “It makes it easier for me not to get upset,” I muttered. “Look, I don’t know what to tell you. Skylar is hot as hell. I never went there because we’re good friends and that’s all. We watched The L Word together and neither of us made a move. I swear. If she really wanted to kiss me she had ample opportunity over the course of the last two years. She didn’t ever do that and neither did I. I can be friends with a hot girl without wanting to jump her.”

  Olivia sighed. “Look, I’m sorry,” she said. “I know I’m just being weird and crazy. We shouldn’t have even talked about this. I know I’m being irrational. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do. It’s just every time we get around her I feel something and it makes me feel bad. It’s me though. I know it’s me.”

  “You feel something like what? You feel like we have feelings for each other or something?”

  “I dunno what I feel but I know I get uncomfortable and start acting crazy. And that’s on me, not you guys.”

  “Okay, then we don’t have to hang out with her as a group. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

  We pulled into the driveway at home and Oliva drove around, parking outside the guest house.

  “That’s the thing though,” she sighed. “I like Skylar. I really like Skylar. I feel like without her your life here would’ve been completely miserable. I feel like I owe her. It’s just complicated. I do want to be her friend. Maybe I’m just not ready yet to share you. Maybe you’re right.”

  “Maybe we just need to try again and things will go better. I know you know this but, Vi. I swear, I have no feelings for her. Only you.”

  “Baby, I already told you it’s not you.”

  “I know. I just needed to say it.”

  I got out of the car and trudged toward the door but I stopped, waiting for her. I’d always make sure she was with me before I went any farther.

  “Oh crap!” I ran back to the car and pulled open the back door, grabbing the box full of pizza. “Almost forgot.”

  I rejoined her and she led the way inside. Our Friday night out hadn’t turned out as well as I wanted. I shoved the pizza in the fridge and went back to the living room, falling on the couch beside her.

  “You know. I really wish I’d been watching The L Word with you. Can you imagine? It would have taken us years to get through the whole series.”

  I wasn’t even joking. Serious was coming out of my pores. All the sex we would have had. Insane.

  “Well, we can always do a rewatch,” she said. She seemed tense still but not as bad as before.

  “Would that be weird though? I don’t want you to feel weird. I’m sure we can find something else to watch that’s inspiring.”

  “It wouldn’t be weird,” she said. “We just wouldn’t get far…” She pulled my hand into hers and did that thing again where she put my finger in her mouth and slowly sucked on it. “Even just the voices do things to me,” she confessed. “I felt a lot like Jenny when I first watched. It was pretty stupid. I thought she was hot.”

  “Jenny? Really?” I thought a second. “Hmm, I guess she was hot.” I crossed my legs, trying not to show how much her sucking on my finger was doing to me.

  “I always felt like a Shane and Alice combo.” I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the couch.

  Thinking about The L Word in combination with Olivia’s little habit of sucking on my finger was going to escalate this really quickly.

  “You felt you were like that or you felt you wanted to touch that?” She asked. “The more I watched that show the more I realized I was probably Bette.”

  “I felt l
ike that and you are most definitely a Bette.”

  “Pretentious. Possessive. Angry,” she grumbled bitterly. “Sounds about right.”