Harm's Reach

by Alex Barclay

  ‘Thank you,’ said Ren. It is. It is. It is. ‘We can discuss that later.’

  ‘OK,’ said Robert. ‘I will hold you to that.’

  ‘Now, can you tell us about Delores Ward?’ said Ren.

  ‘Well, back in November, I found a letter from my grandfather to his law firm, requesting that they transfer a tract of land to the woman whose details they had previously been apprised of; those details were not included in the letter I found. I called the law firm, they said that they could not, by law, speak to me, that it was a private matter between this woman and my grandfather. They wouldn’t tell me what their relationship was, nothing. I put a private investigator on the case. He tracked the deeds to Delores Ward of Evergreen Abbey, but said that she had died in childbirth in 1957, a year before the transfer was made. So I knew there was some form of identity theft at play. I called the abbey to ask them what they knew about Delores Ward, and they asked me would I like to speak with her. You can imagine my surprise that Delores Ward was “alive”. Of course, I hung up the phone. The following day, I was on a flight to Denver and I arrived at the abbey asking to meet her.’

  ‘So, you got to speak with her?’ said Ren.

  ‘I did,’ said Robert. ‘I heard her whole sorry tale. You know, Evergreen Abbey was the only shelter she had heard of for women. Walter had spoken highly of it, and of his uncle … but then he had hinted that his own time there had come to an abrupt end. Delores wondered was that because of his uncle realizing there was something not quite right with Walter. After all, she grew up in Butte, she had heard the rumors about the Orchard Girls. She chose to go to the abbey, to tell Fr Dan her story. He was a priest – she figured that she could confide in him, and, of course, she was right. But Angelo Marianelli managed to track her down, and she was forced to kill him in self-defense. Once Delores knew that Walter had stooped to this new low of ordering her murder, she returned to Butte one last time and that’s how she got him to sign over the land. She said if anything came of her terrible ordeal, it would be her ability to carry out charitable works.’ He put his head in his hands. ‘I can’t begin to tell you how ashamed I am of what my grandfather did. But we agreed to make it right in the only way we could at this stage, which was to set up ACORA in honor of my mother and of Virginia Leinster. He looked up at them. ‘Did you see the postcards on Delores Ward’s wall?’

  Ren nodded.

  ‘They’re “from” her family,’ said Robert. ‘The family who died in the fire. Any time she went on one of her trips, she wrote postcards to herself and signed their names.’

  66

  The next day, Ren arrived into Safe Streets and threw her bag onto her chair. It missed and landed on the floor. She heard a clatter of plastic.

  ‘Please let that not be my new compact,’ she said.

  Cliff was smiling up at her, but there was something sad in it. ‘Coffee?’ he said.

  ‘You know I love you,’ said Ren, ‘but you know you favor a weaker format.’

  Cliff walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. ‘You can make your own. You’re coming with me.’

  ‘Out?’ said Ren.

  ‘Well … to the conference room.’

  ‘Okaaay,’ said Ren. ‘Have you got a stripper lined up for me, balloons, high-school friends I haven’t seen for years?’

  They made coffee and went into the conference room and sat down.

  Ren pointed to Cliff’s mug. ‘See, I worry when I see a translucent rim around the edge of coffee. I detect weakness.’

  Cliff looked down. ‘I could do with some strength.’

  ‘Hey,’ said Ren. ‘How are you doing?’ You look shattered.

  ‘Ren, we got some bad news a couple weeks ago,’ said Cliff. ‘Brenda’s cancer is back …’

  ‘No,’ said Ren. ‘No. But …’ I thought she got the all-clear.

  ‘I know,’ said Cliff. ‘Nine years … we thought she was out of the woods.’

  ‘And … what have they said?’ said Ren. How can this be happening to you wonderful people?

  ‘Aw, sweetheart,’ said Cliff. ‘Don’t you set me off …’

  He patted her hand. She grasped his hands across the table.

  ‘I am so sorry,’ she said. ‘How is Brenda holding up? How are you? How are the girls?’

  ‘The doctors are saying six months,’ said Cliff. ‘We’ve had a little time to bend our brains around it but, to be honest, I can only say this to you … it hasn’t made one bit of difference. I’m a mess.’ He broke down. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be,’ said Ren. ‘It’s me, here.’

  ‘I’m lying to her,’ said Cliff. ‘I’m telling her I’m fine, we’re going to be fine, and I’m not … and we’re not …’

  What can I possibly say to that? ‘If there’s anything you need …’

  ‘I’m going to take time out,’ said Cliff. ‘I’m going to go back to the Sheriff’s Office in JeffCo. I need to be more available for Brenda and the girls, I need to have a shorter commute.’

  ‘You’ll be working with Janine,’ said Ren. ‘She’ll keep an eye on you.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘I’m glad to hear that you were able to make arrangements that will hopefully make things a little easier.’ She paused. ‘I’m going to miss you so much. The office won’t be the same. You are such a huge part of why I look forward to coming in in the morning.’

  ‘Thank you, Renald. You too.’

  Ren started to cry. She got up and hugged him. ‘I love you, Clifford James,’ she said. ‘This isn’t right.’

  Everything’s changing.

  No. No. No.

  Trigger.

  When Ren got back to her desk, there was an email from Gary to ask the team to gather in the bullpen at two thirty p.m. Ren had re-read the mail several times looking for clues as to subject matter.

  To know whether I should feel nervous.

  Zero clues. Damn you, Dettling.

  Her phone rang. ‘Ren – it’s Gary – can I see you for five minutes before the meeting?’

  Noooooooooooooooooo! ‘Sure, no problem.’

  At two twenty p.m., Ren sat down in Gary’s office.

  Minimalist, mahogany, monument to control.

  I have spent less time here in the last five months than I have …

  Too much math.

  Gary was sitting back in his chair looking unnaturally relaxed.

  Almost like he has no words of censure in mind.

  ‘You know,’ said Gary, ‘this is the first time at the end of a big case that I haven’t almost fired you.’

  Do not mention meds.

  ‘I just wanted to say well done,’ said Gary. ‘How you’ve handled your treatment has been very impressive. I respect you a lot for that, Ren. I know it’s not easy. And I’m sure it seems like everyone is trying to spoil your fun, but, this is how it should be. You seem … content.’

  Content: possibly the most depressing word in the English language.

  Death. Knell.

  ‘Well, I’m glad you’re pleased with my progress,’ said Ren.

  I’m glad you’re pleased.

  Gary narrowed his eyes.

  Fuck you, Gary, for your freakish powers of reading me.

  67

  Ren left Gary in his office and went into the bullpen. Robbie was on the phone. Everett was sitting on the edge of his own desk.

  ‘Where’s Clifford?’ said Ren, looking around.

  Robbie finished his call. ‘Cliff’s taken the afternoon off.’

  ‘I hope everything’s OK,’ said Ren.

  ‘I think so,’ said Robbie. ‘He didn’t say.’

  Ren walked over to Everett. ‘Come on, you have to find this more interesting than numbers: rich woman sleeps with sixteen-year-old boy, tries and fails to have her surrogate killed, then gets handed that surrogate’s death on a plate by said boy who now thinks he can run off into the sunset with her …’

  ‘Nope,’ said Everett. ‘It was the idea of the financial dealings. That�
��s where my heart lies.’

  ‘You mean that,’ said Ren.

  ‘I do, sadly. It’s why I’m single.’

  ‘Single?’ said Ren. ‘You?’

  ‘Yes, shock of the whole investigation, I know,’ said Everett. He smiled.

  ‘Maybe your girlfriends would worry that you’d analyze their credit card spending …’

  ‘Nope,’ said Everett. ‘I leave that for the bad guys … and agents whose cases I help out with. You have a serious shoe issue.’

  ‘I call a serious shoe issue having to wear low heels,’ Ren said, looking down at her boots.

  ‘Well, I’m guessing Jimmy Choos aren’t helpful for all that running around …’ said Everett.

  ‘From that reference, I have deduced that at some point in the Nineties – or early 2000s? – you dated someone who watched Sex and the City.’

  ‘Yes, I did.’

  ‘And you’re, perhaps, left scarred by how much money she poured into shoes. Was it your money, I wonder …’

  ‘Uncanny,’ said Everett.

  ‘Anyway – you’d stay single if you met Ingrid Prince,’ said Ren. ‘At the very least, you’d stay away from beautiful blondes. She was ice-cold. Yet I had my sights set on Robert Prince.’ She shook her head.

  ‘No happily ever after for that Prince and Princess,’ said Everett.

  Ren laughed. ‘God … literally no one has been left happy after this. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for all your help.’

  Everett nodded. ‘You’re too kind. And you’re ignoring that my help guided you in the wrong direction …’

  ‘That’s not how it works,’ said Ren, ‘you didn’t. You did some masterful digging.’

  Everett reached back to the desk behind him. ‘Did you see this?’ He handed her the Denver Post, folded open on page four.

  There was a huge photo of Howard Coombes, weeping like a baby at a press conference.

  ‘Is he for real?’ said Ren.

  ‘I know,’ said Everett. ‘He screws his kid up, then shows up in his beloved spotlight crying like a … person who gives a damn.’

  ‘At least they put a photo of his pregnant mistress underneath to remind readers what a shit he really is,’ said Ren. ‘The level of denial …’

  ‘I know,’ said Everett.

  Ren started reading some of the article. ‘He’s actually still trying to focus on Jesse being at the ranch – what a sick fuck. He says Jesse fell in with the wrong crowd – hello?’

  ‘Men like Howard Coombes?’ said Everett. ‘Well, there’s a special place—’

  ‘On television for them,’ said Ren.

  Everett laughed.

  Hey, I can talk to Everett King. I can judge people in front of him and psycho-analyze them. Unlike with Grabien.

  ‘OK,’ said Gary, walking into the bullpen, raising his voice. ‘Everyone listen up.’

  He waited for quiet.

  ‘As you know,’ he said, ‘the process of replacing Colin Grabien on a permanent basis has taken longer than expected. And this is a formality more than anything … but I’d like you to give an official Safe Streets welcome to Everett King.’

  Yaaaay! You sly one.

  ‘Official Safe Streets welcomes take place in bars, just so you know,’ said Ren.

  ‘Bon voyages do too,’ said Gary, faux deadpan.

  Well, if he hasn’t fired me yet …

  The team gave Everett a round of applause. He stood up and gave a curt little bow. ‘Thank you very much, thank you,’ he said, raising his hand in the air, election-style. He swept his hand through the air. ‘The flourish was for Ren.’

  ‘Thank you, thank you,’ said Ren. Everett King ROCKS.

  He sat down.

  ‘OK,’ said Gary, ‘as some of you already know, we’ve heard some very sad news this week about Brenda James. Cliff has decided that it’s best for all the family if he returns to JeffCo while Brenda is undergoing treatment. Reluctant as I am to let him go, I know that it can’t be avoided. But, here in Safe Streets, we’ve always benefited from having a JeffCo member of the team. So, we’ll be carrying on with that tradition with our newest team member, who is set to join us within the month.’

  ‘Who?’ said Ren. ‘Who?’

  Gary smiled. ‘Detective Janine Hooks.’

  Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.

  68

  Dr Leonard Lone’s office was filled with beautiful classical music as Ren walked in.

  ‘What is that?’ said Ren.

  ‘The Cider House Rules soundtrack,’ said Dr Lone.

  ‘Can we leave it on?’ said Ren.

  ‘Absolutely,’ said Lone.

  Ren nodded. ‘Thanks.’ She sat down.

  ‘So, Ren, how are you?’

  ‘Well, I’ve made my boss happy. Can you believe it?’

  ‘Of course I can,’ said Lone.

  ‘It goes against everything I stand for …’

  ‘I happen to know you have a very good relationship with Gary Dettling.’

  ‘I do,’ said Ren, ‘I know. I’m lucky to have him. But it’s just weird not having him on my case …’ She paused. ‘Usually, he’s sniffing around a little more.’

  ‘Well, I guess he feels he has less to worry about when he sees you working steadily and not making too many … hasty … decisions.’

  My favorite!

  ‘How are things with Ben?’ said Lone.

  ‘Well … in no particular order, we had a fight about lying, I told him I was bipolar, he asked me about meds and alcohol, I wished he would fuck off but didn’t say it out loud, emotions: under control, we had a fight, I said it wasn’t his business, he said it was, I have to move out of my house, he suggested he move to Denver, I said I’d think about it … and then this old woman tells me she has destroyed her entire life because she fell in love with this horrific pedophile murderer.’

  Ooh.

  Dr Lone leaned forward. ‘Ren—’

  ‘No, I know,’ said Ren. ‘I know that last bit wasn’t about Ben. I mean that was just another thing that happened. Separately.’

  ‘Remember we spoke before about catastrophic thinking …’ said Dr Lone.

  ‘Yes,’ said Ren. ‘I’m venturing that, even though I wasn’t connecting Ben and that old lady or the murdering guy, somewhere in that sentence you were getting a catastrophic thinking vibe.’

  ‘It’s about connecting love and bad things,’ said Lone.

  ‘I know,’ said Ren. ‘I don’t mean to. I might need to start listening to different songs. I listen to a lot of break-up songs.’

  ‘So, on the work front,’ said Dr Lone. ‘You solved the murder of that poor pregnant woman.’

  Ren nodded. ‘Yes.’

  ‘And did you engage in any risky behavior while doing that?’ said Lone.

  ‘I did not,’ said Ren.

  ‘Good for you,’ said Lone.

  Emotions: under control.

  ‘But one of my best friends – his wife has terminal cancer, which is heartbreaking,’ said Ren. ‘They’re an amazing couple. They’ve been married forever. They’ve got these wonderful children …’

  ‘Love is a wonderful thing,’ said Lone. There was a hopeful look in his eye.

  Silence. Bird song. Cicadas.

  ‘But she has cancer,’ said Ren. ‘He’s losing her. I’m not sure how wonderful love is.’

  69

  Ren was lying in bed beside a sleeping Ben Rader. He had arrived that night. They had gone to Gaffney’s, Everett was there, Janine was there. Everyone was welcoming, everyone partied.

  Ren lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, her head still swimming a little.

  This was the best night I’ve had in I can’t remember. I love this beautiful man lying beside me. And he loves me.

  How did I get so lucky?

  She took a deep breath.

  I should have worked out Ingrid Prince sooner. I could have been sharper.

  Ren looked down at Ben and wondered if she could
wake up beside him every morning. She hadn’t lived with anyone in almost two years … since Vincent. She didn’t particularly like living alone, but then, if she was living with someone … if she was living with Ben … what if he was a total nightmare?

  I like things the way they are. I don’t like change.

  Trigger.

  But Ben is easy. He’s laid back. Nothing upsets him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him complain.

  That’s weird.

  He doesn’t get stressed out about anything.

  That’s even weirder.

  He’s such a brilliant cook.

  He tidies up after himself!

  He’s so organized.

  Oh my God.

  I am the nightmare to live with.

  He is the one who needs to give all this some serious consideration.

  She looked down at him.

  Conor Gorman reminded me of you; the darkness, the edge, the magnetism. Maybe loving you blinded me to that. If I didn’t love you, maybe I would have looked closer at him. I wouldn’t have believed he was good, like you are.

  Maybe I can’t do this job and love. Maybe love and work are incompatible. That’s depressing. Why am I having sad thoughts? I’m a happy person. My default setting is happy. This was a great night. Do I just believe that goodness is wrong?

  She stroked Ben’s face.

  I’d keep sleeping if I were you. Things are easier with me when you’re asleep.

  She stared at the ceiling a little more, waited for her body to relax, her mind to quiet. An hour passed. Finally, she got up and went into the bathroom.

  Ooh … looking good.

  I would have worked out Ingrid Prince sooner … if I wasn’t … repressed.

  If my thoughts weren’t …

  Inhibited.

  Reined in.

  Ren opened the medicine cabinet and took out her bottle of pills. She shook one onto her palm.

  Yes. I feel good.

  But not amazing.

  Still, though … stable is good.

  She leaned on the sink.

  And ordinary.

  Remember: you can’t associate stability with ‘ordinariness’.

  I feel good.