The Violet Widow? (Shattered Heart #1)

by K E Osborn

  “Nah, her and Papi are spending some ‘alone time’ together while they both have a break from their meetings,” she says and I nod and smile.

  “Right, well remind me not to go into her room then.”

  Sheila laughs and opens her eyes wide. “You know if I were the Boss I’d be so pissed at them spending ‘time’ together while they’re supposed to be working, but that’s just me,” she says with a joking smirk.

  “I know, I’ll leave them for a bit and then I’ll go and break it up,” I reply and she chuckles and pats me on the shoulder and walks down the hall.

  I open the door to my office and walk in. The back window is open letting in the gentle sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks. It soothes me. Most people feel stressed at work, but in my office I always feel calm. Guess that’s a good thing.

  Turning on my laptop I work for a little while, and even though I left in such a hurry last night, my feelings of anger and betrayal are starting to vanish as I think of how Rock was holding me while we slowly danced together. I start to feel slightly giddy at the thought of seeing him. Though I doubt that he’ll be there after I slapped him and ran out on him last night, I’m sure he must think I’m a head case. I think back to his comment about his ‘delicate’ arse and it makes me smile. His cheeky grin and his aftershave, mixed with the faint smell of beer on his breath makes my stomach flutter with frantic butterflies. I feel a little like a schoolgirl crushing on her first sweetheart. He does something to me, something I can’t quite explain, and just thinking about him makes me feel so darn happy.

  I decide to go and have some fun. I walk out of my office and down to Star’s room. I know exactly what she and Papi will be doing, so I decide to give them a little scare. I open the door and barge in to see Star bent over the desk and Papi ramming into her from behind. I giggle to myself as their heads flick around. Papi’s mouth drops open and he looks at me with his eyes bulging from their sockets. He pauses, still balls deep inside Star while she looks at me like she’s seen a ghost.

  “Shit,” Star says as she drops her forehead down onto the desk in embarrassment.

  “I knew it! I knew you guys were doing each other,” I exclaim and Star shakes her head.

  “Sorry Boss. We were trying to keep it a secret,” Star says making me laugh.

  “Ah-huh. You have really toned legs, Papi,” I say as he stands there with his pants around his ankles. Star’s dress is raised up and sitting on her back giving me a full view of her arse cheeks.

  “Thanks, Boss,” he replies while he grips tightly onto Star’s arse.

  “So, umm… what’s the plan for today, guys?” I ask and Star groans while Papi smiles at me hesitantly. He doesn’t know what to do right now.

  “Really?” Star asks as she raises her head to look at me.

  “Yeah, I was just wondering if you guys are actually going to get any work done today?”

  “Well, I… ah… was just going to finish up in here. I have a client coming in, in about an hour,” Papi says making me laugh.

  “Well, don’t let me stop you, please continue,” I tease folding my arms over my chest and leaning my hip and shoulder against the doorframe.

  “Really?” Papi asks raising his eyebrow. I nod and he looks down at Star, who’s flushing bright red. “Ah okay?” he states, which in turn makes me laugh. He pulls his hips back and thrusts into Star again making her moan.

  My eyes open wide in shock. “Jesus Papi, I was only kidding. I don’t wanna see that shit. Just make sure you guys are done in time for your next clients. And don’t make a mess. And don’t use work time to fornicate. You guys wanna fuck each other? I don’t care, but do it on your own time, right?”

  I hear Papi chuckle when I turn around and walk out shutting the door behind me.

  Well, that backfired catastrophically!

  I certainly didn’t think he would do that in front of me, but then again I guess Papi is a no holds barred type of guy, and nothing will stop him from fucking the woman he loves. Not even his Boss walking in on them. In a way, it’s sweet I guess. No, not really it’s just gross. I don’t wanna see that, especially at work. There’s enough of that going on in this world without my employees getting it on with each other. I shake my head with a slight chuckle and walk back to my office.

  Even though I really don’t want to see Papi giving Star one, the humour of the situation has left me in a good mood and I can’t help but think back to Rock and how I treated him last night. I feel bad for slapping him. That was uncalled for and a knee-jerk reaction to him pulling me back to him. I don’t let anyone manhandle me, so my gut instinct was to protect myself. Maybe that’s what I need to do with Rock, protect myself a little better. But in the meantime I need to make it up to him. He deserves that much. I just hope he’s at Amor tonight when I get there.

  I pull up out the front of Amor and check around to see if I can see his Harley. I can’t see it anywhere and a flash of disappointment floods through me. I bite my bottom lip and exhale. It’s three a.m. and he should be here by now.

  I drag myself out of my car and to the door of Amor then I make my way inside walking the entire way with my shoulders slumped. I’m so disheartened that he isn’t here. I must have really pissed him off last night. Not that I blame him. I acted immaturely. I can see that now. But I still want to keep my guard up. I don’t really want to start anything with Rock. That’s not what this is about, I don’t think. But I’m intrigued as to why I keep reacting to him.

  I don’t want a partner. I don’t think I could ever be with someone close like that again. But Rock, I don’t know, I guess I just like the way he makes me feel when he’s making me happy that is. When he does something that reminds me of Danny, that’s a whole world of hurt right there, but the happy feeling is outweighing the bad. It’s a forty/sixty split and that extra twenty percent of happiness is, I guess, what keeps me coming back to him night after night.

  I make my way to the bar and order a Cosmo and a Coopers Light beer for him. I figure he paid for my drink last night so the least I can do is to pay for his tonight. That is if he even shows up, of course.

  The bar is empty as usual, which is just the way I like it. I have three sanctuaries, home, the office and here. Each with their own differing qualities. The office keeps me calm and in a work headspace. Home is my safe haven where I can relax back into the old me, I don’t have to put up this persona of who people expect me to be. And then there’s Amor, the place I come to unwind and lately, flirt with an unknown male who’s still missing in action right now.

  I sit on a stool and cross one leg over the other while I lean my back against the bar and stare at the door. My heart is starting to hammer in my chest while I continually check the time. I start to bite at my bottom lip in nervousness. I think I really must have offended him last night. I wish I had his phone number so I could at least ring him and apologise especially if he doesn’t show tonight.

  I exhale and take a sip of my Cosmo, it’s nearly half empty. I’ve been drinking it really slowly, but my nerves are starting to get the better of me. I swallow the lump that’s formed in my throat as I check the time again. It’s three forty-five a.m., he’s forty-five minutes later than he has been the last two nights. I think it is safe to assume he isn’t coming. I exhale and look down at the ground feeling deflated and suddenly very alone. I had one person who kept me on my toes and has helped me to feel again and I spoilt it with my little tantrum. I pick up my drink and swallow the rest of it in two gulps and place it back on the bar. I swivel on my stool and turn to pick up my handbag when I hear the rumble of a motorbike. I turn and look out the window to see Rock parking his Harley behind my car. He looks through the window as he takes off his helmet and smiles at me brightly making my stomach flutter. I smile back and wave as he makes his way inside Amor. I stay seated on my stool. I don’t want to seem too eager, which I am for some reason. I so badly want to run up to him and jump, wrapping my legs around his waist, bu
t I won’t. I do have some decorum. He does that bad boy strut over to me and places his helmet on the bar.

  “Hey,” he says picking up the beer on the counter.

  “You know I’ve put a roofie in there don’t you?” I joke and he smirks raising an eyebrow and takes a sip. “Ooh, you daredevil you,” I mock and he laughs sitting down next to me.

  “So, my cheek is still sore. You punch like a girl, but you slap like a man,” he jokes and I look down at the ground in embarrassment. “Hey,” he says moving his hand to my chin and lifting it up so I’m forced to look into his multi-coloured eyes. The eyes that instantly take my breath away. “It’s okay, I’m not mad. A little confused, but not mad.”

  I nod, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry about that. I overreacted. It’s just a reflex reaction when guys manhandle me. I always fight back,” I admit and he raises his eyebrow.

  “When guys manhandle you? You mean you get people like Drop Dead Fred a lot?”

  “Not quite as drunk as Drop Dead Fred, but in my line of work, men can be… well, interesting,” I admit and he furrows his brows.

  “So, what is your line of work, TVW?” he asks.

  “Details you don’t need to know, not yet anyway.”

  He nods and tilts his head. “So, I might get some more details in the future then?” he asks sounding hopeful.

  I smile. “If you play your cards right.”

  “Need I remind you that I suck at poker?”

  “Well then, I guess it will remain a mystery.”

  He shakes his head. “Booth?” he asks out of nowhere. I nod my head and stand up from the stool. “Want another drink?” he asks looking down at my empty glass.

  I shake my head. “No thanks, I’m driving,” I relay and he nods taking his beer from the counter. He rests his open palm on the small of my back and walks us over to the booth.

  “So, you can be a good girl behind that bad arse of yours?” he asks while I slide into the seat.

  I raise my eyebrow at him and smirk. “I’m sorry?”

  “Only having one drink because you have to drive. That’s very… good of you. Very law abiding,” he states and I laugh.

  “Well, I had a hard slog in jail last time. Don’t really want to go back to cell block nine. Don’t get me wrong, I love Bertha, but that bitch loves me a little too much if you know what I mean?” I joke and his eyes open wide while his mouth opens slightly. I laugh at his reaction and shake my head. “I’m kidding!”

  “Well, with the combat skills I saw yesterday, I guess it’s not so hard to believe you might have been in jail at some time in your lifetime.”

  I scoff. “Please! I’m classy. A woman like me does not belong in jail.”

  “I agree, you’re definitely too good for jail. I think you’d do better in a convent,” he mocks and I roll my eyes.

  “Now you’re just taking the piss, you dick,” I reply and he puts his hand to his chest and scoffs in his usual way.

  “Yeah, but you love it! Sorry, I was late by the way. I hope you didn’t think I was going stand you up. Not that we have an arrangement to meet here every night or anything, but… oh shit, you know what I mean,” he says sounding a little flustered.

  “What’s the matter, Rock, getting all confused about our situation?”

  “No, I just don’t want to scare you off again,” he replies making me sit back in my seat and relax. I chew on my bottom lip while he watches me to see my reaction.

  “I’m sorry about last night. I, well… I dunno, it just got a little full on that’s all,” I say and he nods.

  “Okay, well, if I get too full on again let me know before you smack me out and run off, okay?”

  “Okay deal,” I reply placing my hand out for him to shake.

  He looks at my hand and chuckles, but takes it in his and shakes it once, but he keeps a hold of my hand and rests them on the table between us. I feel that spark I get when he touches me firing off again. I love this feeling and saying that must mean something because other than my house, my husband and my child, I don’t love anything.

  “So why were you late? It’s never nice to keep a girl waiting you know?” I ask trying to distract myself from the sparks shooting between us.

  “For starters you are not a girl, you’re all woman, remember?” he asks. “I got held up at work. This thing I’m working on is, ah… tough. It’s hard to remember who the good guys and the bad guys are. It’s just when you’re in so deep lines get blurred and you forget… well, that’s going into details, but anyway I had a crappy day and all I wanted to do was to leave so I could come here to see if you’d be here. I wasn’t sure that you would be. I thought I’d well and truly fucked things up, but I’m glad you’re here and that you waited for me.”

  “Well, I was just getting ready to leave when I heard your Harley outside. Does this good guy, bad guy thing have anything to do with bikes?” I ask trying to get a little more information out of him. I know it’s my rule regarding details, but surely he can bend just a little.

  He laughs and raises his eyebrow. “You really believe I’m in a gang don’t you?”

  I shrug because I definitely think he’s into something dirty. “Maybe not a gang, but definitely something. So, yeah I kinda do.”

  “Well, my bad. They’re not called gangs they’re called motorcycle clubs and it's not all doom and gloom like the ‘Sons of Anarchy.’ Some clubs are actually the nice guys,” he says with a smirk.

  “Ha! So you are a biker then?” I accuse and point my finger at him.

  He shrugs. “That would be giving away details now wouldn’t it? And I don’t want to break your rules. Plus, anyway if I was a biker I probably wouldn’t tell you. You know the biker code and all,” he says rubbing his thumb over my skin.

  “Have you shot anyone with your illegal firearms?” I ask and he laughs a belly laugh.

  “I can neither confirm nor deny because that would be all in the detail, TVW,” he says making me frown and pout.

  Sometimes I hate my rules!

  I don’t know why the thought of Rock being in an MC club turns me on so much. I guess it’s the bad boy thing, and trust me, he looks like a bad boy. I’m pretty sure under that shirt of his he’s covered in tattoos. I thought I saw a hint of ink on his collarbone, but his shirt moved quickly so I can’t be sure.

  “Dance?” he asks and stands abruptly.

  I nod and stand while he continues to hold my hand and walks me to the as always, empty dance floor. He pulls my arms up and around his neck again like he did last night and his hands make their way down to my hips. He doesn’t pull me close, but I want to feel him against me so I step my body in line with his. He smiles and tightens his grip on my hips.

  “I am sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have slapped you,” I say and he shrugs.

  “It’s all good, but one day you will open up to me and tell me more about yourself so I can understand. But for now I’m not going to push. I just want to enjoy dancing with the hottest woman in here.”

  “You do know I’m the only woman in here?” I reply raising an eyebrow.

  He nods matter-of-factly. “I know.” And breaks out in a massive smirk. I grab a lock of his hair and tug on it harshly making his head jolt back slightly. “Jeez woman, you like it rough, don’t you?”

  “Only when the guy's a rude arsehole,” I say and he frowns and purses his lips.

  “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re not only the hottest woman in here, you’re the hottest person in here.”

  “That’s just as bad, Rock. There’s only you, me, and the bartender.”

  “Exactly and you’re the hottest of us all,” he retorts with a boyish grin.

  I tug on his hair again and he laughs, pulling me closer to him.

  “Rock.”

  “Yeah?” he asks tilting his head toward me.

  “Do you feel this?” I ask and he smiles and nods resting his forehead on mine.

  “Yeah, little firecracker, I feel it. Why do yo
u think I came back?” he asks, his lips so close to mine it’s scaring me. I can smell the beer on his breath and it’s turning me on.

  “What is it?” I ask and he smiles looking directly into my eyes.

  “Chemistry baby. It’s called chemistry and we have a shit load of it,” he says grinding his hips into mine, making my breathing hitch.

  “I’m scared,” I admit and he winces.

  “Don’t be, I’m not going to hurt you,” he says bringing his hand up and placing a strand of my hair behind my ear.

  “It’s not you hurting me that I’m worried about, Rock,” I reply truthfully. The truth is I’m worried about hurting him. I like him. I can tell he likes me. But I’m damaged and married to a dead man.

  How the fuck do I explain that?

  “Then what are you scared of?” he asks and I close my eyes soaking him in.

  “Happiness,” I murmur under my breath.

  “You’re scared of being happy?” he asks, concern etched in his voice.

  I open my eyes to see him staring at me intensely. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be happy, Rock. I’m supposed to be alone and miserable for the rest of my life, and this ‘chemistry’ we have, it scares me.”

  “No one is ever supposed to be alone and miserable for the rest of their life, no matter what they’ve done or been through. At some stage after the mess, comes the peace and clarity that things will be okay. I don’t know what has hurt you, or who, but you deserve to be happy TVW and if I make you happy, then go with it I say. See where it takes you because this could be something worth going into the details.”

  “You’ve known me for three days and even with my violent behavior, my lack of sharing and my rapid mood swings, you still want to go into the details with me?” I ask raising an eyebrow.

  He smiles and nods. “Yeah, I do. Why do you think I showed up tonight? It’s because I like you. There’s something about you even with all your issues that keeps drawing me in. I want to get to know you better. I want you to let me in, hell… I want to know your name,” he says and I tense instantly. He moves his hips in time with the music feeling my tension. “But, if you’re not ready to give details just yet, then I’m fine with taking things at a snail’s pace. I just don’t want you to run again,” he says holding me tightly to him.