Crimes of Magic: The Yard Sale Wand

by Richard L. King

  “Very interesting,” I said as I handed the pendulum back to Moshi. “Are those symbols Japanese?”

  “No, they are not. My parents seem to think that they are the language of the gods, or maybe of extraterrestrials. My parents are also ufologists.”

  Moshi rested his right elbow on the desk and held the pendulum’s string in his right hand so that the pendulum hung over the wand. When I use my Coriolis, I never trust my hand to be steady enough for the sensitive instrument to detect the presence of magic, so I always hang it from a stable support.

  Moshi started the Coriolis swinging in counter-clockwise circles over the wand. Soon, the Coriolis changed from swinging in circles to swinging back and forth along the wand.

  “I think that it’s probably unconscious movements of the hand that cause the pendulum to move, but my parents think that it’s supernatural. According to the pendulum, this wand is unlucky. My parents wouldn’t have it. As I said, I’m not superstitious, so I could own the wand. It will make the wand harder to sell to knowledgeable buyers, however.”

  “How could you tell it’s unlucky?” Rachel asked.

  “The pendulum stopped swinging in a circle,” Moshi said. “If it were not unlucky, it would have kept swinging in a circle. I understand that you paid $100 for this wand.”

  “Yes, but I think it’s worth more.”

  “I hope that you’re right,” Moshi said. “I’m willing to take a chance and offer you $250 for the wand. That’s a substantial profit for you.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” I replied.

  “The absolute most that I could pay for this wand is $500,” Moshi said. “That’s top dollar even for a wand like this that’s not unlucky.”

  “No, it’s not the money,” I said. “I want to find out more about the wand. I have a feeling that there’s more here than meets the eye.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way,” Moshi said. “Would you consider a trade for another piece of occult art? I brought one with me.”

  Moshi reached into his jacket pocket and took out a small wooden cube with a pointed bottom and a short wooden rod, or handle, sticking out of the top. Each of the four sides had a glyph carved into the wood.

  “That looks like a dradle, except the symbols aren’t Hebrew,” Rachel remarked.

  “It spins like a dradle, too. Just watch,” Moshi said as he rubbed the handle between his thumb and index finger, and set the top spinning on the desktop. Watching it spin was hypnotic.

  “Professor!” Rachel shouted.

  I blinked my eyes. I must have been daydreaming.

  “Professor, Moshi’s gone!” Rachel exclaimed.

  I looked across the desk and Moshi wasn’t there; neither were the sandalwood box and wand.

  “Where’d he go?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, but look at the clock.”

  The clock said it was one o’clock.

  “That can’t be right, what happened to the clock?” I asked.

  “My cell phone also says it’s one o’clock,” Rachel said. “We just lost three hours.”

  “And Moshi has stolen the fake wand.”

  Chapter 7

  “Are you alright?” I asked Rachel.

  “I think so,” she said as she stood up and walked into the waiting room. I followed her to see if I was alright.

  “At least he closed the door after himself,” Rachel said. “Let’s go downstairs and make sure his car is gone. What was he driving?”

  “A Toyota Corolla rented from Alamo,” I said as we went downstairs. The car was gone, so we went back up to the office.

  “I wrote down the license plate number,” I said as I got my notebook out of my backpack.

  “Thanks, but I’m afraid it won’t do any good. I don’t have any contacts at Alamo. The only thing my guy at the DMV would be able to tell me is that it’s an Alamo rental, and we already know that.”

  “I was afraid of that,” I said.

  “Well, Professor, I’m sorry, but he got away clean. It would be the perfect crime if we didn’t know what he looks like.”

  “And if we weren’t able to sneak into his house and find out who he is,” I said.

  “Right. We hid a homing beacon in the fake wand’s box.”

  “Exactly,” I said.

  The Spell of Translocation is the first spell we ever learned. This exploit enables up to three people to instantly translocate, “teleport” is what we used to call it, from one place to another. To invoke the spell, or to run the exploit, as Ward would say, you have to first draw a magic circle on the ground or floor. A magic circle is two concentric circles with the inner circle’s radius about a hand’s width smaller than the outer circle’s radius.

  Then you have to draw specific magic symbols at precise points just inside the inner circle. Fortunately, I have a deck of cards with the symbols already drawn on them, so I can just place the cards in the right places. There are other steps involved, but one step is to specifically identify where you wish to go.

  The Spell of Translocation is like a GPS, it can get you there, but if you want to be sure you end up at the right place, you have to give it the coordinates, an address, or something specific. Of course you can’t plug latitude and longitude into an ancient spell that was created before we had coordinates or even addresses. You have to have a homing beacon, some object that uniquely identifies the destination. This homing beacon could be a chip off the stone wall of a castle, a branch broken off of a tree, or anything unique to that place.

  The problem with needing a homing beacon is that you have to have already been to the destination to get a unique piece of something there. Or someone at the destination has to send you something unique. Or, as in this case, you have to send something unique to the destination. Now, the fake wand wouldn’t work as a homing beacon. Just because it looks a lot like the real wand, doesn’t mean the two are parts of the same whole. The torn coupon we hid in the wand’s box was a perfect homing beacon.

  “One thing worries me though,” Rachel said. “Moshi was driving an Alamo rental car. The only place to rent a car from Alamo in Portland is at the airport. That means Moshi almost certainly flew into Portland in order to obtain the Snoozer. He probably took the next plane back to wherever he came from, and he may be in the air right now. It would be very embarrassing for us to materialize inside a crowded plane.”

  “With all the cell phone cameras on a plane, we would be on YouTube as soon as the plane landed,” I agreed. “Our secret magical powers wouldn’t be a secret anymore.”

  “We’ll have to wait until tonight to translocate to Moshi’s location,” Rachel said. “We’ll have to get there before one o’clock in the morning, because that’s about the time the wand will burst into flame.”

  “If we were there, we could verify that the wand self-immolated,” I said. “We never verified that Ward’s ‘delay lines’ would accurately delay the ignition of the fire.”

  “Let’s get back to the Goose and plan tonight’s raid,” Rachel suggested.

  We locked up the office, and Rachel drove us home to the Goose. We went up to my apartment, and I made a quick lunch of ham and cheese sandwiches on pumpernickel with coffee. I got a legal pad so I could make notes as Rachel and I planned the attack on fortress Moshi.

  “We’ll need our regular translocation outfits,” Rachel dictated.

  We needed special clothing to wear when invoking the Spell of Translocation. Nothing with iron in it would make it through to the destination, so we had to wear clothing without metal zippers, metal buttons, hooks, grommets, etc. We had each put together all-black outfits that met this criterion.

  “For weapons, I’ll bring my bo and ceramic knife, and you can bring your new Snoozer.”

  Rachel had been taking martial arts lessons using the bo, a wooden staff, in hand-to-hand combat, since she couldn’t take a gun or Taser through the translocation. This would be the first time that I was armed—I now had the Snoozer.

 
; “You should also bring your usual paraphernalia. I wish we could bring a flashlight—it might be dark where we pop up.”

  “All my flashlights have iron or steel in them,” I said. “I’ll just bring a candle and matches. We can use that for old-school, low-tech lighting.”

  “OK, that’ll have to do,” Rachel said. “Make sure you bring what you need to draw another magic circle so that we can get back to the Goose. And don’t forget a homing beacon to get back.”

  “I’ve got that all covered,” I said. “What if Moshi figures out the wand is a fake before he goes to bed?”

  “Then we’re just out of luck. There’s nothing I can think of that we could do to prevent that.”

  “I think we’ll be alright, because Moshi examined the symbols on the wand while he was in your office, and he stole the wand anyway. That means that he didn’t know what symbols to expect to see on the wand, so he had never seen the wand before, and didn’t even have a good description of it. He just tested it for magic, and that satisfied him.”

  “Maybe, he doesn’t even know how to activate it,” Rachel speculated.

  “It could be that he doesn’t even know what its power is,” I added.

  “That’s right,” Rachel agreed. “He had a magical dradle that zoned us out for three hours. That seems like a better weapon than a twelve-minute Snoozer.”

  “Except that he had to trick us into staring at his device,” I said. “I can just point the Snoozer at somebody, even if they aren’t aware of it, and put them to sleep.”

  “Good point,” Rachel agreed. “Let’s just hope that he doesn’t know too much about the Snoozer.”

  We decided to try to get some rest and then meet back in my apartment just before midnight.

  Chapter 8

  I spent some time that afternoon collecting together all the things I would need that night. I put the smaller items in the pockets of my slip-on cargo pants and my light jacket. I put the bigger items into my backpack.

  I checked my email and discovered that Ward had sent me images of the symbols used in the Fire Starter Spell. I had some time on my hands, so I decided to practice the spell. I got paper, pencil and a bowl and practiced starting fires with delay times of one, two, three and twelve minutes. The symbols were pretty easy to memorize.

  At eleven-thirty, Rachel showed up with her ceramic knife in a leather sheath attached to a waist sash, and carrying her bo. The bo was made of hardwood and was her height, five foot six. We were both dressed in our black ninja gear.

  “Have you made any changes to the plan?” I asked.

  “No, except that I think we should wait for twenty-five seconds before terminating the spell. We should use all that time to see if there’s any danger.”

  “I’ll bring my thirty-second sand glass timer,” I said.

  The Spell of Translocation has the option of a thirty-second “snap back” that would automatically return us to our original location.

  I had laid my Spell Bell on its side, moved the furniture, and placed the canvas tarp, on which I had drawn a magic circle, in the center of my living room. I also placed the symbol cards, except for one activation symbol, in their proper places around the circle. The “pivot point,” which was a wooden cross or “X” was in the center of the circle with my half of the torn coupon placed on top of it. When the spell was activated, everything inside the inner circle would be translocated, but the circles would be left behind. We were ready to go, so we stepped inside the circle.

  I placed the last activation symbol card in place. The air around us began to shimmer, and the temperature started to drop. Then there was a flash of light. The air was still shimmering, but we were standing in the side yard of a house near one of the windows.

  “Why are we outside?” Rachel asked.

  “I don’t know,” I replied.

  “Well, let’s look around for the twenty-five seconds.”

  Then I realized that I wasn’t counting down the time, and the timer was in my pocket. I started counting “One America, two America, three America…”

  The windows in the house were dark, but a street light not too far away faintly illuminated the yard. All the symbol cards were laid out on the grass just as they had been in my living room.

  “…Fifteen America, sixteen America…”

  “Let the spell snap us back home,” Rachel said. So I stopped counting and concentrated on looking all around.

  The air around us began to shimmer, there was a flash of light, then the air was shimmering back in my living room.

  “Why did you decide to come back?” I asked.

  “We need to talk about why we ended up in the yard instead of inside the house. We need a smaller magic circle, right?”

  “Right,” I said. “If the spell is going to automatically snap us back in thirty seconds, all the symbols have to be in the correct positions, just like they were when the spell was cast. If there isn’t enough open space for the circles, the spell has to put us somewhere there is enough space.”

  “We need to use one of your SmartCar magic circles.”

  I had experimented with how small I could draw a magic circle and still translocate two people successfully. I found that a magic circle with an inner diameter of three feet eight inches worked perfectly. I call this my SmartCar magic circle because it transports two people and is easy to park.

  I reached into my backpack and brought out a sheet of folded newsprint.

  “After we reach our destination, we have to draw another magic circle to allow us to translocate back home, unless of course the spell automatically snaps us back. I thought it would be much quicker and easier if we took another magic circle with us, just like we take the symbol cards with us. The circle used to invoke the spell stays behind, so we would have to carry a second circle with us.”

  “OK let’s set it up and try again.”

  “Wait a minute. I’ve got to get a second one to take with us since we’ll be leaving this one behind.”

  “How many did you make?”

  “A dozen, plus some a little larger.”

  I packed up the second folded newsprint and set up the symbols on the first one.

  “Are you ready?” I asked.

  “OK,” Rachel said. “Let’s see if this SmartCar will run.”

  I placed the last symbol card into line on a radius, and shimmer, flash, shimmer, we were in a different, darkened room.

  “Light it up,” Rachel said.

  “One America, two America…” I whispered as I lit the candle.

  We were in an office or study with no lights on. There was one window with its drapes closed.

  “…Seven America, eight America…”

  Rachel looked around for a second and then went over to the window and peaked through the drapes.

  “…Fifteen America, sixteen America…”

  “Break the spell,” Rachel said.

  I stopped counting and started picking up the cards and other objects. I put them all in my pockets.

  “This is a ground floor window,” Rachel said. “We’ll be able to get out the window and translocate from somewhere else. Let’s see what we have here. Turn on a light; these drapes are opaque.”

  I turned on the desk light, and blew out the candle.

  I pulled blue medical gloves out of my pocket and awkwardly put them on. I decided to search the periphery of the room. Rachel had leaned her staff against the desk, put on gloves, and was efficiently going through the desk drawers.

  “Ah Ha! I found it,” Rachel said holding up the sandalwood box. She opened the box, and the wand was inside wrapped in its silk cloth. She replaced the box in the desk drawer, then she crawled under the desk.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “We may need to translocate back here again someday. They may move the wand’s box to another location or throw it away, so I’m cutting off a piece of this desk to use as a homing beacon.”

  Rachel emerged from under the desk
with a small piece of wood she had carved off of the desk with her ceramic knife. Moshi would probably never notice the damage to the desk.

  “Here, put this in your pocket for safe keeping,” Rachel said as she handed me the piece of wood. I got what we needed and it’s almost time for the wand to ignite. Let’s make our getaway. We’ll go out the window, but it may be alarmed, so let’s move fast. I’ll go first and don’t you forget anything.”

  I had everything I came with plus the carved-off piece of desk. Rachel grabbed her bo, went over to the window, unlatched it, and crawled out. She waited to help me out. I turned out the desk light and followed her. Rachel closed the window behind me, and we ran across the yard and knelt in the shadow of a hedgerow of bushes. We had left the drapes open when we crawled out the window, so we could see into the darkened room.

  “I don’t hear any alarm,” Rachel said.

  “It could be silent.”

  The ceiling light came on in the room we had just vacated, and we could see Moshi enter the room wearing a tee shirt and pajama bottoms.

  “If not an alarm, something woke him,” Rachel observed.

  Moshi went straight to the desk, retrieved the sandalwood box, opened it and took out the wand. He inspected it for a second, re-wrapped it and placed it back in the box on top of the desk. Moshi looked out the window and walked over to it. He probably realized that he hadn’t left the drapes open and something was wrong. He opened the window and looked out into the yard.

  As luck would have it, the wand chose that instant to burst into flame. This wasn’t a little flash like the burning paper had been. The top of the sandalwood box blew open, and fire and smoke rose from the interior of the box. Moshi didn’t even hesitate. He quickly flipped the top of the box closed to try to extinguish the fire, and he ran out of the room. He came back a few seconds later with a fire extinguisher which he used to spray the box with foam. Then he used a pair of scissors to flip the box back open, and he sprayed foam inside the box. The fire was extinguished, but the room was rather smoky.