Crimes of Magic: The Yard Sale Wand

by Richard L. King

  “Point taken.”

  “Have you checked Liu’s office with the cong lately?”

  “Yes, I checked about an hour ago. It’s the middle of the night there, and nothing is happening. I wonder if Liu used the broken pencil to translocate to Moshi’s yard.”

  “I’m sure he did, for all the good it did him.”

  “We should translocate there and have a look.”

  “I don’t know, Professor. If we go there and we find Moshi’s house burned to the ground, I don’t think I could live with myself.”

  “Liu wouldn’t do that, would he?”

  “I don’t think so, but he burned down Seth’s mansion.”

  “Then we have to go to Moshi’s house and put your mind at ease.”

  “I don’t know, Professor. We can’t do it until tonight at the earliest, so let’s just put that on the back burner until we return the artifacts to Liu. Sometimes I think we’re playing out of our league.”

  “Indeed we are, Rachel.”

  “We may as well finish the game before it goes into extra innings, then,” Rachel said. “Let’s figure out how we’re going to return the cong and deBabelizer to Liu—and also his Snoozer.”

  “Do you have any ideas?” I asked.

  “We should do it soon, before Liu has time to regroup and come up with some diabolical plan that we can’t anticipate. We also need enough time to explain to Liu why we’ve given him so much grief. To make sure we aren’t interrupted, we need to bring Liu here.”

  “Not to my house!” I declared.

  “I agree. We won’t bring him here to the Goose. We should take him to my office, and we should do it when Liu is alone.”

  “I guess the best time would be when he gets to his office first thing in the morning. That would be between three and six this afternoon, Portland time. We can watch through the cong to determine the right time to translocate there and grab him.”

  “I know this sounds naive, but I think this will be a pretty simple operation,” Rachel said. “The only hard part will be to convince Liu that we’re not his enemy. We don’t need another magician out to get us. I think you should be the one to talk to him.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “Two reasons, Professor. Number one, you’re a man. China isn’t the United States. As much as I hate to admit it, you’re more likely to gain his respect. And number two, you understand magic.”

  “I see. OK, I’ll talk to him using the deBabelizer, but you’re going to be there, too, right?”

  “Absolutely. I’ll be there with my stun gun, and you’ll have your Snoozer. We’ll strap Liu to my office chair so there’s no way he can get the best of us. Thanks for breakfast. I’ll be back at two o’clock and we’ll go to my office. Be sure you have everything we need to take with us to capture Liu.”

  “Hey, wait a minute. We’ll need a homing beacon for your office.” I got one of Rachel’s business cards out of a kitchen drawer and wrote “Rachel’s Office” on the back. I tore it in two and gave one half to Rachel.

  “Keep this half in your purse. You’ll leave your purse in your office when we translocate, so the homing beacon will be there.”

  “Fine,” Rachel said as she took the half card. “I’ll see you at two. Make sure you have everything ready.”

  “I’ll be ready,” I said as Rachel left my apartment.

  Chapter 33

  I put together the things we needed to take to Rachel’s office for the mission. I took everything out of my steel box except what was needed. Everything else, I put in a drawer in my office. I also packed my Snoozer in its sheath, two magic circles on newsprint, some cable ties, a deck of symbol cards and a wooden pivot point. Reluctantly, I also packed Liu’s Snoozer.

  At two o’clock, Rachel arrived and she drove us to her office. “Are you wearing your Mojo?” I asked as we entered her office.

  “I told you I always wear it, so I’m wearing it. You don’t have to treat me like a child. You’re ready; I’m ready; let’s get on with it.”

  Aren’t we testy today, I thought to myself.

  Rachel brought her office chair from her inner office out into the waiting room. “This is the only chair I have that we can strap Liu’s arms to,” she said.

  We pushed aside the coffee table and furniture, and I set up a newsprint magic circle on the floor of the waiting room. This circle was a little larger than the SmartCar circle, but it was still smaller than the circle woven into Liu’s oriental rug. It had more room to hold us and Liu’s snoozed body. I placed all the symbol cards around the circle except one on the radius which would activate the Spell of Translocation. Then I put the homing beacon for Liu’s office on the wooden pivot point in the center of the circle. I put the cable ties into a pants pocket, strapped the Snoozer over my shoulder and placed the steel box on the coffee table.

  “I don’t think I should leave Liu’s Snoozer out in plain sight,” I said, so I stuck the Snoozer behind one of the back cushions of the love seat. I had to tilt it to one side so that it was completely hidden. Maybe I was hoping that we wouldn’t have to give it back to Liu.

  “We’re ready to go now,” I said. Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll get the cong to spy on Liu’s office.”

  I got the cong from the steel box and we settled into two armchairs while I looked through the cong. After about an hour, I saw Liu enter his office and turn on the lights.

  “Liu arrived in his office and he’s all alone,” I said.

  “Let’s hit it,” Rachel replied, and we both stepped into the magic circle. I held my Snoozer in my right hand and placed the last symbol card into place. Shimmer, flash, shimmer and we popped up in Liu’s office.

  Liu was sitting at his desk and I zapped him with the Snoozer before he could make a move.

  “Break the spell,” Rachel said as she stepped out of the circle.

  I knelt down to pick up a symbol card when a wave of panic spread up from my gut to my head. I couldn’t move or even think.

  “I forgot to bring a homing beacon to get us back to your office,” I said in a panic. “We’re trapped here.”

  Chapter 34

  “Shit!” Rachel exclaimed. “Damn it, Professor, of all the times to screw up, you have to start now. Wait! Don’t break the spell. Snap back to my office and get the homing beacon.”

  “Right, OK.” My brain wasn’t working quite right. The air started to shimmer; there was a flash of light; and I was back in Rachel’s office. I picked up a symbol card to break the spell and stepped out of the circle.

  I picked up the steel box from the coffee table, opened it and looked inside. There were no other homing beacons in the box.

  “Crap!” I had left all the other homing beacons back at the Goose. My level of panic reached a new high. Now what? I could translocate back to Liu’s office, and we could try to get his body into the magic circle before the thirty-second snap-back feature returned us all to Rachel’s office. But if we accidentally moved one of the symbol cards by so much as an inch, it would break the spell, and we would be truly trapped in China. That was just too great a risk.

  I had a flash of inspiration in the midst of my panic. There was one homing beacon in Rachel’s office. It was the one that matched the homing beacon I usually used to translocate to her office from the Goose. And the other half of the beacon was in my desk drawer along with the other things I had in the steel box. It would be another eleven minutes before Liu woke up. That was plenty of time for me to do a couple of translocations.

  I went to Rachel’s office and got the half business card taped under her desk. I picked up Liu’s homing beacon, put it in my pocket and placed the half business card on the pivot point. I placed the final symbol card into place. The air began to shimmer, there was a flash of light, and I was—where was I? I wasn’t in my office.

  I was in the middle of the huge magic circle in the Goose’s basement. My brain still wasn’t firing on all cylinders, and my stomach was churning. I picked up a
symbol card to break the spell. Evidently, there hadn’t been enough empty floor space in my office, so the spell had been attracted to the magic circle in my basement. This was just a minor setback. I still had enough time. I put all the symbol cards, homing beacon and pivot point in my pockets and ran up the two flights of stairs to my apartment. The door was locked.

  “Damn it!” The door was locked and my keys were inside my apartment. Did I have a key hidden anywhere? At one time I had a key hanging on a nail under the front porch steps. I ran down the stairs to the first floor, out the front door, and down the steps. I felt under the steps and found the nail, but there was no key hanging on it. I remembered that I removed it, because it was a master key to the whole house. Now what?

  I needed some tools. My tool bag was in my apartment. I ran back down to the basement where I had a bunch of random tools. I grabbed the biggest hammer and chisel I could find and ran, albeit more slowly, back up to my apartment. I proceeded to hammer and chisel with all my strength on the door between the door knob and the frame. Finally, the door broke apart, the frame split, and I was inside.

  I ran to my office and got the homing beacon for Rachel’s office out of my desk drawer. Now I needed another magic circle. I got a newsprint magic circle, the same size as the one we used in Rachel’s office, and moved my coffee table and furniture to make room for it in my living room. I placed all the symbol cards, but one, in place and put the pivot point in the center. I reached in my pocket and got the homing beacon for Rachel’s office.

  What’s this? I had both halves of the business card we used as Rachel’s office homing beacon. That’s right, damn it. I took the homing beacon out of her office to translocate to the Goose. Now there was no homing beacon in her office.

  Wait, yes there was. The other half of the business card I came here to get was in Rachel’s purse. I put the homing beacon on the pivot point, and my Spell Bell began to chime. I didn’t care. I put the final symbol card into place and shimmer, flash, shimmer, I was in Rachel’s office.

  I picked up a symbol card to break the spell and replaced the homing beacon on the pivot point with the one for Liu’s office. I replaced the last symbol card, and shimmer, flash, shimmer, I popped up in Liu’s office.

  I felt a hard blow to my back that knocked me face first onto the floor. Someone put a knee to my back, pulled my hands behind me and cable-tied them. I was unceremoniously rolled over onto my back, and I looked up to see a pistol pointed at my nose. I guess more than twelve minutes had elapsed.

  Chapter 35

  Oddly enough, my panic began to lessen, and my head started to clear. You would think that having a gun pointed at my face would increase my panic, but I think my panic went over the edge. I had no more capacity for panic and my body started to relax. A feeling of clarity washed over my brain. I guess it’s “game over,” I thought.

  I was pulled to my feet by a Chinese man who, although shorter than I, was at least thirty pounds heavier. Wei Liu himself reached over and took my Snoozer. He said something to the big Chinese man who began taking everything out of my pockets.

  “What took you so long,” Rachel said. She was sitting on the couch with her hands tied behind her. Her hair was a mess.

  “I had to translocate back to the Goose to get the homing beacon,” I answered, “and I ran into complications.”

  “Why didn’t you just make a new one in my office?”

  Oh crap! She was right. I could have just made a new homing beacon for Rachel’s office and avoided all that delay. My brain just wasn’t working well at the time.

  “My bad,” was all I could say.

  The big guy shoved me onto the other end of the couch and yelled at me in Chinese. I guess he wanted me to shut up.

  “That guy came into the office just as Liu was waking up,” Rachel said. “I don’t think he speaks English either.” The big guy yelled Chinese at Rachel, and she stopped talking.

  Here’s another fine mess I’ve gotten us into. Liu and his henchman didn’t speak English and we didn’t speak Chinese. Surely there was some relevant English phrase that Liu would recognize. “Which way to the bathroom” didn’t seem particularly relevant. Neither did “Thank you” or “Hello.” Hmmm, there is one phrase I could try.

  I looked at Liu and said, “League of Light.”

  Liu’s eyebrows shot up and he said something in Chinese that sounded like a question.

  “League of Light,” I repeated and twisted around to show my hands tied behind my back.

  Liu thought for a moment, and said something to his henchman. The henchman handed his pistol to Liu who pointed it at me. The henchman pulled a knife out of his pocket and cut the cable tie that bound my hands.

  I held my hands up at shoulder height and slowly started to stand. The henchman shoved me back down.

  “Be careful,” Rachel said.

  Liu said something to the henchman, and he stepped back. Liu pointed up with the thumb of his free hand, and I stood. I pointed at my eye and started walking very slowly over to the wooden screen. Liu followed me, staying just out of arms reach.

  I retrieved Liu’s little Remote Viewer cong from the niche in which I had hidden it. I placed it on my palm and offered it to Liu. Liu immediately recognized it and took it from me.

  “League of Light,” I said again.

  Liu lowered the pistol and motioned me back to the couch. I held my hands up once more and walked very slowly over toward Liu’s desk. I stopped about four feet away and pointed at the pile of things the henchman had taken out of my pocket. I looked questioningly at Liu, pointed at myself and then pointed at the pile. Liu nodded, but he raised the gun to point at me.

  I reached into the pile with one hand and picked out the homing beacon for Rachel’s office. I used it to point at the magic circle that still had most of my symbol cards inside it. Then I pointed at myself, Rachel and Liu, and offered the homing beacon to Liu. He took it from me.

  Liu reached into a pocket and pulled out some business cards. He selected one, ran an index finger back and forth over it, and with a satisfied expression, he put the cards back into his pocket. Then he took a ring of keys out of his pocket and put them in a desk drawer. He said something to the henchman, and the henchman took the pistol from Liu.

  The henchman pointed the gun at me, and Liu went behind the screen. After a few seconds, he returned with a short bronze sword. Liu gave the henchman a few orders and then motioned me into the magic circle. I stepped into the circle, and Liu pointed at his knees and then at the floor. I knelt on the floor. Liu picked up one symbol card and carefully made sure all the other symbol cards were correctly placed. Then he placed the homing beacon for Rachel’s office on the pivot point.

  “And Rachel,” I said pointing at Rachel. Liu shook his head, moved behind me, and placed the final symbol card in place. Shimmer, flash, shimmer, and we were in Rachel’s office.

  Chapter 36

  I felt the point of the sword on the back of my neck, and I remained still and kneeling. Satisfied with the situation, Liu picked up a symbol card and stepped out of the circle. He motioned for me to stand up.

  I stood up with my hands raised to shoulder level and pointed to the coffee table. Liu saw the artifacts on the table and picked them up. He put the cong and the bi in his pocket and offered the deBabelizer to me. I held one end between my thumb and forefinger.

  “Who are you?” Liu asked.

  “I’m Robert Walker,” I replied. “Please, let’s sit down and talk.” I arranged the two arm chairs so that they were at a ninety-degree angle, but close enough so that we could both hold the deBabelizer. We took our seats and both held the deBabelizer.

  “My name is Robert Walker, but most people just call me Professor. My partner, whom you have tied up in your office is Rachel Chase. She’s a private investigator. We are trying to return these Jade artifacts to China, specifically to you.”

  “And you are with the League of Light?” Liu asked. Just as Gabriel ha
d explained, I understood Liu completely, just as if he were speaking English.

  “We are affiliated with the League of Light, but in this case we are not acting on the League’s behalf. We checked with the League, and they have no interest in this matter. We are returning these three artifacts to you, because our client was tricked into importing them into the United States. When we realized that they were illegally imported, we decided to return them to China. We are returning them to you personally, because we didn’t want to get the United States Government involved. Two of the artifacts are magical, after all.”

  “What have you done with Chan?” Now that was interesting, when Liu said his henchman’s name in Chinese, I heard “Chan” which is what we had been calling him, but not his real name.

  “Chan killed our client’s husband. We turned him over to the local police.”

  “That is not acceptable.”

  “Please let me explain Mr. Wei Liu. Should I address you as Wizard or Minister or something else?”

  “You may continue calling me Liu, Professor.”

  “Thank you, Liu. Rachel and I were hired by our client, whose husband Chan killed, because the police thought that our client killed her husband. I’m sure that’s exactly what you wanted everyone to think when he was killed in a locked room with only his wife present. In order to clear our client’s name, we had to give the real killer to the police. We did not mention you or any other possible accomplice.”

  “I am not an accomplice to this murder.”

  “Please explain sir.”

  “Chan is a valuable assistant. One of his many talents is the ability to speak English, which, as you know, I cannot. His assignment was to question Mr. Martingale, recover the artifacts, and discover how the artifacts were smuggled out of China. Unfortunately, patience and restraint are not among Chan’s many talents. He said that Mr. Martingale refused to cooperate and threatened Chan. Chan was forced to kill him in self defense.”