Limitless Love: A Lotus House Novel: Book Four

by Audrey Carlan

  I sat up, went around the bed, and crawled into his lap, careful not to wake Lily. He held me close as I hugged him, allowing our hearts to meld and speak for us. His head dipped low and he placed his lips against my neck. “I wanted tonight to go so differently. I’d planned on seducing you in the shower and then spending the rest of the night making love to you.”

  Not being able to stop, I grinned against his warm shoulder. “That would have been nice. Still, we had a great shower.”

  He chuckled, and just the sound loosened some of the tension still lingering from the evening’s happenings.

  “We have so much time to cross that final barrier. It’s kind of fun enjoying the ride, don’t you think?” I clung to his broad shoulders as he rubbed his hands up and down my ribs, over my thighs and back. I think the repetitive motion was calming him as much as it was soothing me.

  “We need to go to sleep. Lily’s got school.”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m keeping her home tomorrow. It’s been a really hard night, and she’s going to need some time with us to get past it before going back to school. I think I need that too.”

  He nodded, cupped my cheeks, and kissed me. He kissed me for so long that when we stopped, I was in a sleepy love haze. As if I weighed nothing, he lifted me and walked around the bed, putting me back on my side, where he tucked me in. He locked the bedroom door, cracked the door on the bathroom so there would be light enough to see through the shadows in the dark—especially if Lily needed to get up—and then went around to the other side.

  Clayton maneuvered his big body under the comforter, scooted close to Lily, wrapped his arm back around her, and kissed her head. “I love you, sweetie,” he whispered against her hair. I held back the tears but only just. He hunkered down into the bed, grabbed my hand, and held it across the bed, my daughter safely tucked against his broad chest. Usually that was my spot, but tonight my daughter needed the security, and he gave it to her, almost as if he needed it himself. She’d had a scary night, and as the protector, he wrapped her up and gave her his love.

  In that moment, I loved him more, because he loved her more.

  * * *

  “What in the ever-loving fuck happened last night!” Mila’s words were shrill through the phone receiver. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world to handle this woman’s wrath.

  “Calm down. We’re fine. The police were here, Clayton is boarding up the window now until the window-replacement guy can come and fix it.”

  Mila groaned. “He broke into Lily’s room?” she asked for the tenth time.

  “Yes, but again, the alarm Clayton installed scared him off. He won’t be trying that again. I’m certain of it.”

  Mila sniffed a few times, and her voice shook. “I think maybe you guys should move in with us, or move into Clay’s apartment, or maybe we’ll come back and move in with you…”

  I shook my head in frustration at her declaration. “Stop. Mila. Clayton is taking care of us. We’re safe. I promise. I’m going to start a self-defense class with Nicholas next week. Clay wants me to be able to defend myself. And he’s also going to be taking me to the gun range tomorrow when Lily is at school.”

  “The gun range… What the… Seriously? My God. Moe, this is crazy. Why the hell can’t the cops find this bastard? I mean, it’s not like he’s some sort of mastermind. He’s a blond-haired, thin white guy who used to sell cars! As far as we know, he doesn’t even have a job. What money is he living off of? I don’t even think they’re trying.”

  I sighed. The same thoughts had run through my mind repeatedly. However, I had the distinct advantage of having lived with Kyle. He played dumb and lackadaisical often. In reality, he was extremely observant, manipulative, and cunning. It’s how he got me to marry him in the first place. After a lot of self-loathing and thinking back over the years we were married, I’d come to the conclusion that he’d just married me for money. I never cared much about monetary things except for a home, car, and the usual comforts a woman wanted to have in her life.

  Kyle liked to have the best of everything. When we went out it was always to the swankiest locations. He’d buy expensive clothes, even though he rarely had a job. I even let him leave with the top-of-the-line Porsche he’d bought with my inheritance. Still, none of that even put a dent in the bankroll I had. My grandparents had left me hundreds of millions. The interest off the money alone was too much for me to spend each month. Besides, I had a great job and made a decent income as psychiatrist. The court mediation I did mainly as a civic duty, not because it paid well, because it absolutely did not.

  “I don’t know, Mila. All I know is, today we’re making cupcakes, watching movies, and maybe hitting the local bookstore for a few new titles. Clay’s going to make homemade pizzas if the two of you want to come over.”

  “Mmmm, pizza. I could eat that now.”

  I laughed out loud. “Mila, it’s nine in the morning.”

  “Yeah. I wonder if there is a place that would deliver early?”

  “Pregnancy cravings?” I wondered. When I was pregnant my cravings started early. As in the second I found out I was pregnant I wanted pickles, olives, and balsamic dressing all the time.

  “Maybe. You think?” she asked.

  “Honey, have you been reading the books I ordered and had shipped to your house?” I personally patted myself on the back for that one. Best friend status secure.

  “Um…not exactly.”

  “Mila…” I chided.

  She laughed heartily. “Atlas has taken on being the encyclopedia of my pregnancy. If I want to know something, I just ask him. He’s read all of the books you sent—twice!” She snorted and laughed. “He says since it’s not happening to him, he’s going to find a way to be involved. When I ask for the book, he asks me what I want to know. It’s irritating and cute at the same time. Damn curly-headed punk!”

  I snickered. “That is cute though. He wants to be involved. Kyle never did. He didn’t want anything to do with my pregnancy.”

  “Because he’s a pencil-dicked, card-carrying member of the supreme bastards club.”

  “Well, that is true.” Without warning the thought of Kyle’s dick size in comparison to Clayton’s was hysterical, and I burst out laughing.

  I laughed so hard I couldn’t catch my breath, and my eyes watered.

  “What? Tell me! What’s so funny?”

  After several deep inhalations where I attempted and failed to catch my breath, I said, “I was comparing Kyle’s and Clay’s dick sizes…” I kept laughing.

  “Oh wow. That bad, huh?”

  “So bad. Clayton’s got a monster co—” I covered my mouth as Lily burst into my bedroom holding her wand, wearing a princess gown and a pair of my dress shoes.

  Mila groaned. “Don’t leave me hanging. Hanging! Get it?” She busted up laughing through the line.

  “Lily honey, you look cute as a button, but Mommy is having a private conversation with Auntie Mimi. Go see what Clay is doing. I think he’s measuring the window in your room,” I offered.

  “Oooh…maybe I could use my wand and make magic!”

  “Sounds great, honey!” I plastered on a smile for her as she teetered on my heels and clopped her way down the hall.

  “King Clay! I’m gonna fix the window wif magic!” she hollered, her voice getting softer the farther away she got.

  I waited until I couldn’t hear her anymore.

  “Moe…I’m dying.”

  “You know that saying, he’s hung like a horse?” I offered with a saucy lilt to my voice.

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  I grinned, loving that I was finally able to have real God’s-honest girl talk with my best friend about a guy. When Mila was dating Atlas and had finally committed to being his girlfriend, she didn’t shut up about all the ways he made her scream in the bedroom. Now it was my turn, and a giddiness overcame me.

  I whispered, “He’s that times a hundred!” and giggled.

  A hoot and holler
blasted through the line and was so loud I had to hold the receiver back away from my face. “Praise Jesus, halleluiah! Can I get an amen for my sisters out there who deserve some good hard lovin’!”

  We both fell into a fit of laughter. Once we had ourselves under control, Mila’s tone changed, a seriousness overtaking the levity.

  “Moe, I’m really happy for you. I like Clayton, a lot. He’s a good guy.”

  “The best,” I said, awe coating my tone.

  “And you gotta know he loves you. I mean, it’s written all over his face and the way he dotes on you and Lily—”

  I cut her off. “He told me he loved me last night.”

  “Holy shit. Okay…um… And what did you say?”

  “The truth.”

  “Which is…” She let her question peter out.

  “That it was too soon…”

  “Ugh. Moe! Goddamnit!” She blasted me with her frustration.

  “But that I loved him too!” I finished, but it was too late. She’d already started in on her lecture.

  “You have to let him in. He’s the right man… Wait? What?” Her argument stopped immediately.

  I chuckled and raised my head when the door opened and Clay entered. I had taken a seat in one of my high-back reading chairs near the window in my bedroom. One of my knees was cocked up against my chest, and I had most of my weight on one hip to relieve any pressure from my back. Watching him watch me, I knew a rosy hue was crossing my cheeks because they warmed shamelessly.

  With a boldness I felt deep in my heart, I looked right at him but kept speaking into the phone. “I told Clay I loved him too. And I do. So much.”

  Clay’s chest lifted and fell as he breathed, watching me from across the room as though I was his prey and he could pounce on me at any minute.

  I straightened my spine and blew him a kiss. He shook his head, his face filled with happiness.

  “Fuckin’ love that, woman,” he mumbled low, turning around and heading back out to leave me to my call.

  He’d only come to check on me. I’d been gone a solid thirty minutes, and something inside his protective nature made him look in to ensure I was safe. Another piece of the wall I’d erected around my heart after Kyle fell away, and the space filled in with Clay’s love and affection. Soon, he’d own it all. My body, my heart, and my soul.

  “Moe, I’m so proud of you. This is big. Huge. Oh! I know, we need to commemorate this! I need to paint you guys! Together! Oooohh naked!”

  “Mila, I’m not so sure Clayton would be okay with that.” I didn’t know if I was okay with that. My best friend seeing my man’s business. A snarl of jealousy teased at my senses.

  “Why not! I’ve seen him naked tons of times in Atlas’s classes, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. That man is built, and I mean built! And you’ve seen Atlas naked a bazillion times. You can’t tell me that it would be uncomfortable. I call bullshit on that.”

  Would it be uncomfortable? I honestly wouldn’t know unless we were put in the position. “I don’t know, Mila. We’ll see. Right now, I’m healing, and I need to focus on my gun training and self-defense classes. As well as the chaperones I’ll be taking to work for a while.”

  Remembering I had a handful of my male friends planning to act as bodyguards for me while I worked was enough to make me hate Kyle and wish him dead. And I’d never wished a single soul dead. Until now.

  “Yeah…” Mila mumbled around eating what sounded like a potato chip. She crunched in my ear several times before continuing. “Atlas signed on for Fridays. Told Silas about what happened, and he offered to take a turn on watch.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? I’ve only met Silas once, and that was at one of Atlas’s release parties.”

  More crunching. “He’s a really good guy. And I’m not sure why you’re surprised. People love you, Moe. You’re pretty, nice, and no one wants to see you get hurt. Least of all me or Atlas. You’re our family. I offered to take a day of watch, because who would mess with a hormonal Latina preggo, but Atlas lost his shit. We fought it out, then fucked it out. It was epic. Thank you for that.”

  And I was back to laughing. Thank God I had such an amazing best friend. “I’m glad my situation is allowing you some make-up sex.”

  “Oh no. We always have make-up sex. That was normal sex for us. Fighting and fucking is kind of our thing. Keeps us honest.”

  I shook my head even though she couldn’t see it. “Okay. On that note, I’m going to bid you adieu and get back to my princess and my own hunk.”

  “You do that. Dinner this weekend?”

  “Sure, what are you thinking?”

  She snorted. “Whatever you and Mr. Muscles are cooking, I’m eating. So far, this baby is not picky. And I have a new ultrasound picture to share. So you have that to look forward to.”

  “Yes! I want to see. Maybe you should take a picture with your phone and send it to me?” A maternal ache kicked up inside me, reminding me that I was not getting any younger, and I wanted Lily to have a sibling.

  “Nuh-uh. You have to wait. It will be sweeter when you see the baby’s cute little nub arms and legs and big-ass head. I can already hear you getting all swoony, and I have so few things to look forward to with this pregnancy. Your sweetness, tons of carbs, and hopefully a second-trimester crazy libido. Atlas says it’s coming. I’m all ready for it when it hits!”

  “You are too much, but I love you.” And I really did love Mila. Sadly, more than my very own sister. I’d be lost without her. But Matisse, after everything she’d done… I shook my head and ran my hand through the heavy layers of my hair, sliding them away from my face. No more thoughts of her. It only did more damage than good.

  “I love you too,” Mila said and hung up.

  I ended the call, took a deep breath, and wondered if my own sister knew about Kyle’s attempted murder and break-in. She may have been coldhearted about being with him on the sly while we were married, but I couldn’t imagine she’d want me or my daughter dead. He had to be keeping his plans from Matisse. I couldn’t entertain the thought that a woman who shared my blood would want my daughter and me gone from existence. He had to be doing it behind her back. He had to be.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Emotional, physical, and existential issues may arise when the energy of the heart chakra does not flow. By healing the heart chakra, one may experience a boost in energy, positivity, love, and compassion, and an increased sense of connectedness to life. There are a variety of different yoga poses, breathing techniques, stones, crystals, and therapy that you can do to heal your heart chakra. Speak to a Registered Yoga Teacher for yoga tips or do a little research online. Deepak Chopra is a known guru on the subject.

  MONET

  “Angel. The first thing you need to know about self-defense are the soft targets. Regardless of what position an attacker gets you into, these are gold.”

  I nodded, standing across from Nicholas Salerno in a pair of black yoga pants and a royal-blue ribbed tank top that said “Love Me a Latte” on the front. Every time I wore the tank, I snickered, and today I needed some humor, mostly because the situation with my ex was not humorous at all.

  “We’re going to start with the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and throat moves.”

  “Okay.” I jerked my head back and put up my arms like I’ve seen in kung fu movies.

  He grinned and shook his head but took his stance across from me. He wore a pair of black lounge pants and nothing else. Magnificently bare chested. His torso was what women all over the Lotus House facility were drooling over. Now I personally understood what the hubbub was about. Nick had a large defined chest packed with muscles, with smooth skin all the way to his belly button, where a smattering of hair met the V of his waistline. I’d bet many had lost their minds over that happy trail. Under no duress, I’d happily admit the man was sex on a stick. Still, his chest had nothing on my man’s.

  An image of Clayton’s broad golden chest entered my mind. Thank go
odness I had my own man whose chest bested Nick’s, but not by much. Not by a long shot. Nicholas Salerno was ridiculously attractive. His hair shined a dark cappuccino like a new coffee bean. However, his eyes were the most incredible feature by far. My goodness, it was as if they were translucent. Kind of like looking through sea glass. The palest blue with a thin line of yellow around the edge. Stunning. I’d bet the right woman could look into those eyes and see her future. Probably many had tried. He hadn’t committed to any that I knew of.

  Unaware of my musings, Nick continued. “Now, if your attacker goes for your upper body from the front, there are a variety of things you can do to ward him off. Start with the soft limits though. Those tend to be the easiest to remember. As he comes close, go for his face with your hands. Use your thumbs to jab straight into his eye sockets. Like so.” He placed his hands on the side of my cheeks and moved his thumbs right in front of my eyes but didn’t penetrate.

  “Oh, okay. I get it.” The position made sense. It would definitely hurt if someone used their thumbs to poke into an opponent’s eyes.

  “You try.”

  I repeated his move and felt rather proud of myself for getting it right the first time.

  “Awesome. You can also go for the eyes with a spade-like shape, meshing of your fingers, or even knuckles first. I’d recommend the thumbs though because using them seems to be easier for women in the heat of the moment. And remember, you’re not trying to bruise them. You’re trying to blind them. Take away their sight so they can’t see you and they let you go. Ears up next. I’m going to come at you, and you’re going to grab both of my ears. Just not too hard!” He grinned. “This is pretend.”

  I chuckled, and as he placed a hand on my shoulder and got close, I grabbed both his ears.

  “Good. You can use this position to grip with all your might and bring me down and into your knee. Or, you can just twist the ears and my head will automatically jerk back to protect myself. This will give you precious moments to hopefully escape. Still, I’d go for the knee to the face if at all possible, because it will hurt more and give you more time. Let’s practice.”