Elizabeth forced herself to look up at him and was confused by the expectant look on his face. “Th--thank you, sir.”
“Your modesty becomes you but it would not be indecent for a betrothed lady to confess her feelings.”
As a tall man, he towered over her seated frame, but he bent lower. Elizabeth gulped.
“Perhaps, though, you may feel freer to be affectionate in writing.”
Elizabeth could not agree with his words but when Mr. Collins’ head came closer to hers, she quickly raised her hand instead.
Regret flashed on his face, but he dutifully took her hand and kissed it.
“Ah, Mr. Collins,” Mr. Bennet’s voice came from the doorway. “You are prepared to leave any moment, I trust.”
Mr. Collins hastily dropped Elizabeth’s hand and had the grace to look embarrassed. She blushed red and if it were not for her father’s earnest entreaties the day before she would have thought he found humour in the scene he interrupted.
“Yes, I must leave this very minute.”
“Do not allow us to delay you,” Mr. Bennet said before sitting in his usual seat.
“I will write as soon as possible so we may begin the wedding affairs,” Mr. Collins said.
“Oh, there is no rush there,” Mr. Bennet replied and Elizabeth silently blessed him. “Mrs. Bennet will desire a lavish affair, I am certain, and with the winter months coming travel will be a concern.”
“I had not thought Hertfordshire received much snow, sir,” Mr. Collins replied.
“Indeed, we have a greater concern with ice.” The clock struck eight. “We will sort it all out later, as you said. You must not be late returning and displease Lady Catherine.”
“Indeed, her ladyship does not suffer tardiness.” Then, as quickly as his profuse thanks for their hospitality and heartfelt good-byes could allow, he finally boarded his carriage.
“Thank you, Papa,” Elizabeth said as they sat in the breakfast room alone.
“I am sorry it is necessary,” was all he said before departing for the library, leaving Elizabeth to feel the weight of her father’s disapproval.
After the rest of the family awoke and ate, Mrs. Bennet pulled Elizabeth aside as they entered the drawing-room.
“Now, Lizzy, I know what a headstrong girl you are, but you had much better listen to me on being a wife.”
While disliking the slights her mother gave her, she could not refute that she desired the education.
“We have to select a wedding date still, but I do not suggest you tarry.”
“I had thought you would want a spring wedding,” Elizabeth said, her pitch rising.
“It is just as well to do all the dinners now before Christmas, but I am thinking of you. Mr. Collins is not the sort who makes a charming suitor. On the other hand, the distance promotes correspondence and you might learn even more of the faults of a man through writing than in drawing-room conversation. Trust me. Marriage allows you to soon sink into indifference and separate routines. A betrothed couple must always play the part of lovers.”
Elizabeth had to agree it made sense.
“Next is to encourage him to have his own pursuits. As a clergyman, he will have sermons to make and deliver and parishioners to visit. He seems devoted to his patroness, you can make the most of that.”
Elizabeth looked at her mother in wonder. How sensible she sounded! Did her mother always have such sense and hid it under nerves or was this a sudden transformation from the relief of worrying about the entail?
“If all else fails, you can vex him. That you can achieve very easily. I caution you to not be too provoking at first. You may very well need to be flattering and charming to get your way on things. In time, you will learn when to apply the correct attitude.”
Elizabeth could only wonder about her poor father. She had every reason to wish time away from her husband, but what could her mother complain about her father? The advantage to the match was entirely on her side and while his bookish nature contrasted with Mrs. Bennet’s high spirits, that could never grieve her the way her behaviour so often afflicted Mr. Bennet.
“Are you listening, Elizabeth?” Mrs. Bennet interrupted Elizabeth’s private thoughts.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. I would rather not have to repeat the ordeal of how to discourage a husband’s nightly visits.” Elizabeth’s eyes bulged. Relief at missing those words and desperation at wishing she knew them mixed as her mother walked on. “Now, come with me to the kitchen and Hill will go over things. You will have to employ a plain cook but if you can manage the household, a maid of all work would be sufficient for your other needs.”
*****
Mr. Collins’ letter of thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Bennet for their hospitality arrived less than half a week after his departure. Elizabeth sighed as the post also brought a letter to her full of all the ridiculous inanities her lover with imaginary feelings could bestow. She instantly understood her mother’s earlier words on desiring to end the courtship period as fast as possible. At least hiding her dislike of him in letter form was easier than in person.
All this would be bearable if not for Mr. Bingley’s continued absence and Mr. Collins’ intention to return to Longbourn in a fortnight. She was happy he would not stay for Christmas, however. She could have a final holiday with her family and a visit with her mother’s brother and his wife. They were particular favorites of Elizabeth. Jane’s morose grew every day and Elizabeth began to fear for her health.
The fortnight passed with Mrs. Bennet’s constant crowing to all her friends of having one daughter engaged. The weather proved mild and so frequent excursions for visits were required. Elizabeth could not recall the last time she received so much attention from her mother. She had not thought before her mother could be so affectionate toward her and in combination with all her other feelings, it threw Elizabeth into turmoil. She had little doubt that her mother would enjoy her engagement to Mr. Collins but each day made her mother more human to her. Mrs. Bennet might have always been silly but at some point in her marriage, she descended into ridiculousness with evident indifference of her husband and his refusal to understand her feelings and concerns. Elizabeth perceived she would have to diligently guard her own feelings in her marriage with Mr. Collins. He could not understand her any more than her father comprehended her mother.
At last, the dreaded day arrived. Mr. Collins returned and Elizabeth endeavored to look beyond her first impressions of him. Mr. Bennet had compassion for his daughter and invited his future son-in-law into the library to go over wedding and estate matters very frequently. Private moments, however, could not be avoided forever.
On a walk to Meryton some days after he arrived, Mr. Collins’ slowed his step to have time to speak with Elizabeth.
“Your esteemed father and mother consented to my suggestion for the date you shall make me the happiest of men. Indeed, Lady Catherine herself suggested the date. She is most eager to make your acquaintance and you may rest assured that I have told her all of your amiable qualities.”
“Thank you, sir,” Elizabeth replied with her head faced down and sped her walk as her younger sisters had walked ahead. Jane had stayed at home, adding to Elizabeth’s concern.
Mr. Collins matched her stride. “Her ladyship promises to visit with you when you arrive in the neighbourhood and I am already invited to dinner once a week. Lady Catherine has suggested that she might extend it to twice a week upon my marriage, for she needs the additional person for cards. She is a great advocate of cards in the evening. Such refinement of the first circles!”
Elizabeth’s memory was drawn to another evening of playing cards, but it was not to a more recent night with a handsome and intriguing acquaintance. Instead, she recalled her first night at Netherfield when Jane was sick. It had been only a month ago and so much had changed. She began to fear the Netherfield party did not intend to return and while she had not counted Mr. Darcy or Miss Bingley as friends, she could now ad
mit Meryton society was less varied for their absence.
She shuddered to imagine what the future held in Kent. Darcy had not ever seemed to approve of her, but, at least, he allowed her to have opinions and welcomed debate. She could hardly hope his condescending aunt would do so as well. Strangely, the thought that he might visit Rosings from time to time and add to their constrained society pleased her. She could never approve of his conduct or character, but if she was marrying one man she could not respect or like she may as well enjoy laughing at another one for the occasional evening.
“Were you attending, my love?”
Elizabeth cringed at the endearment. “I am sorry, my mind wandered.”
“I can easily guess the direction of your thoughts,” Mr. Collins said lowly. “I understand most brides anticipate the days when they first see their new home and are introduced to the superior society of their husband. Worry not, my dearest. We shall be at an altar ‘ere long!”
Elizabeth blushed. “Pardon me, sir, but I was thinking only of the present. I believe one more gust of wind might knock over that mighty oak. I do not believe it will survive the winter,” she said. As she spoke the words, she began to wonder if she might as well.
“I will not say you have been untruthful. You may be allowed to have your secrets.”
Refusing to acknowledge his words, Elizabeth redirected. “I do not think you visited the book shop when you were here last.” Indicating the shop to go to, their conversation dropped and Elizabeth rejoiced when Mr. Collins fell into conversation with the proprietor instead.
*****
Fortunately for the peace of Elizabeth’s mind, Mr. Collins stay at Longbourn was shorter than before. Additionally, she managed to avoid further prolonged conversation with him. He continued to drop “my dears” and “my loves” whenever they had a moment of private conversation, but those were increasingly rare. On the morning of his departure, Elizabeth wisely slept late.
“Lizzy,” said Jane in their bedroom the day after Mr. Collins left. “I have had a letter from Miss Bingley.”
Elizabeth immediately replied with astonishment and excitement. “And she announces when her brother is to return to Netherfield?”
“No,” Jane said with her voice cracking and tears filling her eyes. “I will let you read it.”
She handed over a letter proving to have arrived two days ago, and Elizabeth read it with eager eyes. Hope was entirely over. Miss Bingley declared that her brother meant to stay in London for the entire winter.
“It was a whole day before I could read more than the opening line. I am sorry I did not share it with you earlier,” Jane said between sniffles. “If I had been able to make sense of it earlier perhaps you could have ended your engagement with Mr. Collins.”
“Impossible, Jane. It has been announced.”
“It could be said there was confusion. That he was to marry me instead.”
“That would never work in Meryton. I do not regret consenting to marry Mr. Collins if it saves you from marrying him. You may have no possibility with Mr. Bingley now, but in time, you will meet another, more deserving, young man.”
“No, I cannot reproach Mr. Bingley. It was nothing more than an error of fancy on my side. There was nothing in his words or conduct that was designed to increase my affections. But you have sacrificed your own chances of happiness!” Jane cried.
Elizabeth shook her head. “To be so forgiving, you are truly angelic and I have not loved you as you deserved! Nay, until I have your goodness I could never have your opportunity of happiness.” She kissed the top of Jane’s head. “My temperament is unlike yours. You have the most generous, affectionate heart in the world! Who could I care for? Mr. Collins is just as good as any other man.”
The sisters said very little on the subject after that. On Elizabeth’s side, she remained firm in believing Mr. Bingley still loved Jane but supposed the pressure of his unfeeling sisters and overbearing friend were too much for his amiable nature to tolerate. It was evident to her, at least, that Miss Bingley desired a match between Bingley and Miss Darcy all for her own benefit.
The following day brought the arrival of Mrs. Bennet’s brother and his wife, as was their custom. After some talk of disappointed hopes with Mr. Bingley, Mrs. Bennet was too happy to exclaim to her sister about Elizabeth’s match with Mr. Collins. Mrs. Bennet had arranged to have a large dinner party with many of the Militia present, including Mr. Wickham, who delighted in hearing that Mrs. Gardiner once lived very near Pemberley estate.
When alone with her aunt, rather than allow her to bring up her engagement with the Parson, Elizabeth discussed Jane’s melancholy.
“I am very sorry for it but these things do seem to happen very often,” Mrs. Gardiner said. “Any chance separation often diminishes attachment of mere weeks.”
“That is little consolation here, Aunt,” Elizabeth said. “We do not suffer by chance. Mr. Bingley was quite violently in love with Jane and I have no doubt he intended to offer for her but for the persuasion of his friends. That can hardly be a standard case for an independent young man.”
“Pray tell, how violent was his love?”
“I have never seen a more promising inclination. He was growing quite inattentive to other people. Even I did not receive an answer from him twice when I spoke to him at his ball. Is not general incivility the very essence of love?”
“Oh my! Yes, that is sincere love indeed. Poor Jane! It had much better have happened to you. You would have laughed yourself out of it earlier. Well, might Jane be convinced to come back with us to London?”
“I think it an ideal plan!”
“I do hope she will not agree because she thinks she might see him there. We seldom go out and are in such different circles. It is unlikely she would see him unless he truly came to visit.”
“There is little possibility of that. Miss Bingley tells that her brother remains with his friend. I doubt a month’s ablutions would clear Mr. Darcy of the uncleanliness associated in his mind with visiting a place such as Gracechurch Street.”
“I was sorry to hear such an evil report of him from Mr. Wickham earlier today. The former Mr. Darcy was such a just and liberal man! But I do recall hearing Fitzwilliam Darcy talked of as a very proud ill-natured boy. Well, with any luck, Jane will not see Mr. Bingley at all and even his sister may give up the acquaintance.”
A few days after their conversation, Mrs. Gardiner drew Elizabeth aside again.
“You shall marry in a few days and I cannot miss your lack of enthusiasm at the prospect.”
Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders. “I do not marry for my own sake.” Elizabeth relayed Jane’s despondency after hearing of Mr. Bingley’s departure from Netherfield. “I truly feared she would leap at any chance to marry Collins. I think she was desperate to be away from Longbourn.”
“Elizabeth, it is very kind that you would wish to save your sister but do you not see the foolishness in this? What does your father say?”
Elizabeth sighed. “He did wish to refuse permission at first. I admit that I may have acted imprudently but I find it difficult to think rationally in defense of Jane. By all that my parents have done proceeding the event, I had little thought they would act on her behalf.”
Mrs. Gardiner nodded her head. “I can see how you might come to that conclusion. And do you think you can be content with him?”
“I am not entirely content now. I live with parents who dislike each other. My mother is prone to fits of nerves, my father to sarcasm and seclusion. My youngest sisters are ridiculous and Mary sermonizes everything. Jane has always been my only consolation. What is it to trade one disagreeable man with his own interests to that of five others? There must be more freedom in managing my own household than in being subject to another’s rule.”
“If you are decided, I shall say no more,” her aunt said. “We all expect you to use your sense. You do not lean towards melancholia. I shall wish you happy on your wedding day and mean it with
every beat of my heart.”
“Oh, do not wish me happy, Aunt. For after happiness even moments which previously would have created contentment seem to lack. Wish me healthy, secure and satisfied. That is all I ask.”
Mrs. Gardiner agreed and no more on the subject passed between them. The days passed swiftly with Mrs. Bennet arranging several dinners and soon Elizabeth’s wedding day dawned. After some insincere words on obedience and love, a rushed wedding breakfast and kisses of farewell, Elizabeth began her intention of connubial contentedness with Mr. Collins and journeyed to Kent.
Chapter Three
December 31, 1811
Hunsford, Kent
The very morning after Elizabeth’s arrival at Hunsford, Lady Catherine visited the Parsonage. Mr. Collins nearly passed out from the condescension the great lady showed by calling on his bride so soon. Elizabeth found herself rather equal to the scene.
“Lady Catherine,” said her husband after a deep bow, “we are most honoured with your visit.”
Her ladyship looked Elizabeth over as though she were a horse at market. “And this is your wife?”
Elizabeth supposed that was as much of a request for introductions as she would receive. Mr. Collins hastened to her side and his sweaty hand grabbed hers. She repressed a shudder at unwanted memories of her wedding night.
“Allow me to introduce Mrs. Collins, Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn as she was.”
“You are a very genteel, pretty girl,” her ladyship said while sitting. “I have heard from Mr. Collins that you are the second of five sisters and your husband is to inherit your father’s estate.”
Elizabeth sat and suppressed a smile when Mr. Collins chose the seat closest to Lady Catherine. Indeed, she could use that to her advantage. Lady Catherine looked at her expectantly and Elizabeth surmised some answer was expected although there had been no question.
“Yes, my lady.”
“I see no occasion for entailing estates away from the female line. It was not thought necessary in Sir Lewis de Bourgh’s family, but it has worked well for your sake and brought about marriage to a most respectable man.” She nodded at Mr. Collins and he preened like a peacock.
One Autumn with Darcy Page 33