One Autumn with Darcy
Page 44
“You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.”
She saw him start at this, but he said nothing, and she continued: ”You could not have made the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it.”
–Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 34
“….had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.”
And just like that, seven and twenty years of education and good breeding disappeared from Mr. Darcy’s mind. If she will accuse me of being ungentlemanly, I will show her conduct that is truly ungentlemanly!
Darcy stepped forward with a decided air before she could continue her rantings. “You accuse me of ungentlemanly conduct towards yourself? I see you prefer the gallant, like Mr. Wickham, perhaps? So, should I have approached you at the impressionable and young age of fifteen while on a holiday without your elder brother—your only surviving family and your guardian—and convinced you of an elopement? When confronted by said brother by the merest chance of arrival before the event could take place, and it was made clear that I would not receive any of your substantial dowry of thirty thousand pounds, should I have announced that you were not worth the marriage otherwise and left you grieving and brokenhearted, so much so that almost a twelvemonth later and you are still painfully unsure of yourself and decisions, certain that your every action will be the ruin of your family? All your joy and liveliness vanished? So much that you are merely a walking ghost in your homes, leaving your brother to grieve as though the last member of his family has passed?”
He saw her begin to shrink back from his claims, but still he ungentlemanly pushed forward, regardless of her sensibilities. She was speechless, and he would not give her a moment to collect her thoughts.
“Or should I have flattered you and seduced you until you begged for me to take your virtue, only to abandon you and leave you with child like most servants and tradesmen’s daughters and even a few gentlewomen unfortunate enough to cross his path?
“Or do you prefer my cousin? I should flirt shamelessly and raise your expectations all the while knowing that I must marry a well-dowered woman to continue married life in my preferred lifestyle? It would be great love indeed that would make him overlook such things.” Elizabeth had turned pale at his information about Mr. Wickham but now blushed. Darcy would wager his cousin had said something of the effect to her.
“Shall I evaluate Mr. Collins? Tell me, in his proposal to either you or Mrs. Collins, how many utterances fell from his tongue on the greatness of my aunt?” Elizabeth’s eyes widened in confusion and disbelief, so Darcy clarified what he knew. ”Oh yes, I know of his proposal to you as he did not keep it a secret from my aunt! Of course, his version could hardly be the truth. He claims you rescinded your acceptance of his suit after realising how ill-suited you are to be the wife of a minister. Did he expect for you to grovel to her and cater to her whims as well as he?
“Do you believe Mr. Bingley is the epitome of gentlemanly behaviour?” Instead of Elizabeth’s usual impudent confidence, she looked uncertain. He knew she had believed Bingley far more gentlemanly than him, but he would not allow her to lay Bingley’s defection of Miss Bennet all at his door. “Bingley’s attachment of only a few weeks must be no deeper than any other time he has supposedly fallen in love, as testament to his agreement to abandon the acquaintance when pressured by his sisters concerning the prudence of the match and my uncertainty regarding the lady in question’s affections.
“Yes, I can see how any of these actions would be much more gentlemanly than for me to declare my ardent love for you despite the objections I shall face from my family and society. A love that has been strong enough to overcome the differences in our station and take on the lower connections of your family and yoke myself to their most improper behaviour—all while receiving no great sign of your regard. Yet I could not leave without paying you my addresses, certain as I am that fate threw us together again.” Elizabeth had been looking at her feet, but her eyes met his with his final statement.
“And yet, I will show you my ungentlemanly manner now. I will tell you that by our third meeting I was more bewitched by you than any other woman of my acquaintance. Your eyes were the first to strike me, followed by your pleasing form. As I moved from staring at you across the room to listening to your conversations, I discovered your playful manners, intelligence, and quick wit.”
He took a step forward, but Elizabeth did not move backwards. “Shall I tell you how disappointed I was when you denied me a dance, not once but twice? Me! No other woman would ever dream of denying me a thing. Shall I describe the jealousy I experienced each moment you danced with another at the Netherfield Ball? That I can recall each time I have seen you bestow a smile on any and all others but me? Should I tell you that I saw your friendship with Miss Lucas? That while you were affectionately nursing your sister, I desired my own sister to have the same claim on you? That I see an inner strength and beauty in you when you would overcome Miss Bingley, and even Lady Catherine’s, belittling words? That you are the most genuine and unaffected woman I have ever met?”
She looked at him as though she were seeing him for the first time. Perhaps other men would have described their lady’s beautiful face, but he needed Elizabeth to comprehend that it was her character and spirit that had captivated him. As she remained silent, he decided to tell her the extent of his truly ungentlemanly thoughts. “Or shall I tell you that the image of you arriving at Netherfield, flushed and windblown, was so captivating that it will stay in my memory for eternity? In light of you rejecting my suit, I pray to God that is the last image I see in my mind’s eye before departing this earth, although my imagination has created much more tempting images. Shall I tell you that I know the room you stayed in at Netherfield was seven paces from my door? That so intoxicating is your scent that I have ordered lavender bushes to be planted outside my study window at Pemberley and even acquired a jar of lavender oil to remind me of your fragrance? Or can I convince you to accept me if I admit that I, a very private man, have laid out my faults bare to you like none other, and instead of feeling indignation, only feel more love inspired by each reproof?
“And there is one fault I have not admitted to as of yet, though I am certain you have deduced it. I am unbelievably obstinate and will do everything in my power to get my way.” He stepped even closer to Elizabeth and gently stroked her cheek. She took in a startled breath but did not move or look to be unwelcoming.
“And now I will tell you the ungentlemanly ways I have imagined the feel of your soft skin…so soft, and how your silken strands would feel in my hands.” He undid several of Elizabeth’s hair pins and ran his fingers through her delightful curls.
“Your lush ruby lips on mine,” he leaned in and gave her the lightest of kisses. She gasped, her breathing turned heavy.
“I will tell you how I have imagined your breathing ragged for me, you trembling for my embrace.” Seeing her doing thus, he pulled her in his arms, nestling his head above hers. The exquisite feeling of home he experienced nearly overshadowed the desire he felt as her soft body moulded to his.
Stroking her back lightly, he murmured in her hair, “I will tell you how I wish to see your eyes drunk with desire for me. In my imaginings, I have held you in my arms all night long, every night since the fourteenth of October. I have a passion for you that would make me give away Pemberley itself, lay aside everything to my name if needed, just to have you in my arms as my wife.”
Pulling back, he tilted her head up, and he was helpless when he saw passion in her eyes. His mouth sought hers with hunger. Though timid, Elizabeth was quick to learn. His body was on fire, and yet he only desired to hold her closer. His hands gently caressed her face, her arms, her back. Elizabeth’s hands wrapped around his waist, then stroked up his chest and settled around his broad shoulders.
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Enthralled in their activity, they did not hear the carriage arrive with the Collins party nor the parlour door open. With a gasp, Mrs. Collins ushered Miss Lucas upstairs though her husband remained.
“Cousin Elizabeth! You wanton girl! Unhand Mr. Darcy at once!” Mr. Collins’s words crashed on their heads like a bucket of water.
“Mr. Collins, you will never insult my betrothed again!” Mr. Darcy’s countenance brooked no opposition; however, Mr. Collins was too stupid to see the promised threat written all over Darcy’s face.
“Betrothed? But…but…Miss de Bourgh is your betrothed!”
“I assure you, she is not and never shall be. Miss Elizabeth Bennet is the only woman who shall ever become Mrs. Darcy.”
“She has drawn you in with her arts and allurements! I will speak to Lady Catherine at once, and she will remind Elizabeth of her place!”
“Mr. Collins, I told you to never insult her again. I shall know how to carry my point.” Mr. Darcy would have continued with explaining his connection to the Archbishop, but Elizabeth laid a hand on his arm, forestalling him. By the time he looked back from Elizabeth, Mr. Collins had fled the parsonage.
“Elizabeth, forgive me for my ungentlemanly display. I had wanted to convince you of a courtship after this, but now you must see….” He trailed off, unsure how to explain that by his actions she was now forced to marry him, against her will. A deep frown marked his sad face.
“To which display do you seek forgiveness?” Elizabeth interrupted his thoughts.
“Both.”
Stroking her jaw in mock thought, Elizabeth paused before answering, “I should say not. I quite enjoyed the display.” She then cast him an arch look. “Both of them.”
The passionate side of Darcy wanted nothing more than to capture her about the waist and bring her close while kissing her senseless again, but the gentleman settled for a teasing reply. “Well, if I cannot earn forgiveness, do you wish to extract penance?”
“In due time, Mr. Darcy, in due time.”
Before Darcy could reply, a maid brought in tea and some pastries, presumably requested by Mrs. Collins, though the maid fled before they could inquire, undoubtedly due to the recent displays. Elizabeth began to pour the tea and offered for him to sit, puzzling Darcy by her seemingly indifferent actions at such a time.
“Mr. Darcy, you questioned my sister’s affections as she did not give enough outward display of them to appease your observation. How shall a woman act to reassure the man? Shall one seek to accidentally touch him?” As she spoke, she handed him a cup filled with tea, intentionally allowing her fingers to gently graze his. He shivered.
“Oh, dear, I forgot to put the sugar in.” She reached for the cup again, and her fingers touched his once more. She stood slightly to accomplish her task, allowing her napkin to fall. Returning his now sweetened tea to his hand, she spoke again. “Or perhaps she should try to put her charms on display more often? How clumsy of me! I dropped my napkin.” She then bent low to retrieve it. Darcy groaned.
“Perhaps she should not hesitate to flatter and compliment the man? My father excelled in debate at Cambridge; I should think you did as well. I have found your arguments most persuasive.” Darcy could take no more. His tea cup, which had not even made it to his mouth as it stood agape in a stupefied manner, was put down with a clang. In an instant, he was next to her on the sofa, wrapping his arms around her again.
After a long, deep kiss, Darcy breathed, “Elizabeth, you are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but though we must still marry, one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”
Elizabeth leaned forward for another kiss, but Darcy insisted on knowing her answer. Sighing, she replied, “My feelings are much altered. I see now you are the best man of my acquaintance, and my feelings are quite overwhelmed.”
Darcy cupped her face, but just before kissing her lips, he turned his head and whispered in her ear. “In that case, allow me to tell you how I have envisioned our children. Daughters with their mother’s curly hair and expressive eyes, sons full of liveliness.” He trailed kisses from her ear down her neck.
Moaning from his ministrations, Elizabeth murmured, “Oh, and how many children do you envision for us?”
“At least six, my dear, and I am certain it shall take much practice to become a true proficient, as my aunt would say.”
Elizabeth playfully replied, “Now, sir, about your penance….”
To be continued…
An Unladylike Display
Readers enjoyed “An Ungentlemanly Manner” so much they requested a sequel. It’s been years, but I finally wrote it!
Elizabeth sat at the vanity in her bedchamber in Darcy House. Three weeks had passed since Mr. Darcy’s proposal, her refusal, his rebuttal, and them being found in a compromising manner. And for two weeks they had been under very watchful eyes. They had been discovered by the Collinses in an ardent embrace. After very little talk, Elizabeth found herself in Darcy’s arms again, this time entirely of her own coaxing.
Lady Catherine was so disgusted with the news Mr. Collins brought her that she ordered Elizabeth to leave, and all of Darcy’s wealth and prestige could not make up for the impression left upon her mind of her daughter suffering from Mr. Darcy’s animal appetites. Elizabeth had expected a fight from her ladyship, but instead she seemed to think the couple deserved each other. She muttered about Darcy’s untitled lineage being the fault and asserted that she would find another husband for her daughter.
Darcy and Elizabeth left Rosings the next morning and found very little sympathy with her aunt and uncle in London. Darcy met with his solicitor and began arrangements for a special licence, convinced that would ease his way with the Bennets. After tarrying in London for two days, they continued to Longbourn. Mr. Bingley accompanied them.
Elizabeth expected her father to be upset and disappointed at the news of the reason for their marriage, but he was soon brought to reason by Elizabeth explaining that she did esteem and like Mr. Darcy. While they were found in a moment of passion, her changed feelings did not rest entirely on Darcy’s physical persuasions.
Once at Netherfield, Darcy called daily. He frequently came with Bingley before breakfast and stayed until after supper. There were times when his patience wore thin with her mother and the frequent visits of her aunt Phillips, but on the whole, Darcy was a devoted lover. She soon understood that she had been quite mistaken with his character.
A week after their arrival in Hertfordshire, Darcy spoke quietly to her in the drawing room. “Elizabeth, we have already talked about my ill-thought words during my proposal, but I truly owe you an apology. Your family is a bit more eccentric and boisterous than I am used to, but they are loving. I was too full of prejudice to see their value. You accused me of pride, and for the last week I have been too happy with our joy to take the time to evaluate your criticisms.”
“Do not repeat what I said to you that night!” she cried.
“What did you say that I did not deserve?”
“I was very unfeeling. I had no notion that you had any feelings at all, and now I have seen a man who is more generous and forgiving than I could imagine.”
He discreetly grasped her hand and held it between both of his. “My dearest, Elizabeth. I was taught correct principles but left to follow them in conceit. You taught me a valuable lesson.”
Again, she had tried to claim that she was not due such charitable thoughts, but he would not hear of it.
Elizabeth smiled again at the memory. He truly respected her opinion and thoughts, such as when he asked her opinion on a matter of business. A few days later, he returned to London to retrieve his sister and her companion. It gave Elizabeth great joy to see him as a brother. He was always very gentle with Georgiana, and she praised him without guile.
The day before their wedding, Darcy pulled Elizabeth aside as she walked
him to the door. Bingley and Jane stayed behind for a moment, and nobody seemed interested in chaperoning a couple that was as good as married. Elizabeth hoped Darcy would give her another ungentlemanly display. When he pulled her into his arms, she was not disappointed.
Her confusion was great then, when with her head tilted up and her eyes shut, she did not feel his lips on her. He stroked her cheek but rested his forehead against hers. “You do tempt me to forsake reason, love, but we are very near your family, and I need to discuss something with you.”
She pouted for a moment before inquiring, “What can concern you tonight?”
“Bingley has asked your sister to marry him, and she has said yes.”
“Oh! I am so happy for Jane! But why has nothing been said, and what are you worried about?”
“They insist on not speaking with your father for several more weeks. They wish for us to have all the attention tomorrow and believe the community would not titter over our marriage as much should their engagement be announced.”
“What do I care for that? Jane’s happiness is my own!”
“I did tell Bingley that, and he says he discussed it with Jane, but she would not give way. He lingers in the drawing room so we might discuss it.”
“She can be so stubborn!”
Darcy laughed. “Is this a trait for all Bennet women?”
“Yes, we learned it upon our mother’s knee.”
Darcy raised his eyebrows but said nothing, and Elizabeth gave a mock glare. “Do not say it, Fitzwilliam.”
“I would not dream of saying you are like your mother, my dear.”
She scowled. “That is what my father calls my mother when he is either laughing at her or annoyed with her.”
“Oh? I had not noticed.” The twinkle in his eye belied his tease.
“I shall exact revenge on you soon. For now, let us go announce the betrothal of my sister and your future brother.”
“Good. I rather like your demands for penance,” he said before a swift kiss to her lips. He had no compassion on her and left her stunned in the hall while he walked on to the drawing room.