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by Christy Gissendaner


  Mark reached over and patted my hand. “Relax. We all get nervous our first time.”

  “What?” I gaped at him. “How did you—?”

  “I remember my first film. I threw up before it. Quite a few times.”

  I relaxed into my chair. Whew. He referred to my first film experience. “So—”

  Honey returned before I could ask more questions. She breezed into the room, the ends of her silk caftan trailing behind her, and launched into animated speech. “Mark, my dear! How are you?”

  “Hey, Mom.” Mark clamored out of his seat and embraced the older woman.

  Mom?

  My gaze moved between the pair, and I noted the similarities. The features giving Mark his incredible handsome appeal were the same as Honey’s, but where his were more rounded, hers were angled and sharp. The eyes were an exact match though.

  “I didn’t realize you two were related.”

  Mark pulled away from Honey and directed a grin my way. “Not many people do. Honey didn’t want people saying I was only successful because of her.”

  Honey laughed. A bold, dazzling sound. “I prefer for them to say he slept his way to the top.”

  I chuckled with them even though the thought was ribald in the extreme. “Wait. So you were in the industry, Honey?”

  Mark chuckled. “My mom won the SKIN awards five years in a row. She’s slept with the best of them.”

  Honey swatted his shoulder. “Go on with you. You’ll be late, and I refuse for you to get a peek at Diamond until we’re finished.”

  Mark obeyed his mother, leaving me alone with the ex-starlet in charge of transforming me. I was a little bummed Mark came to check on me but Jase hadn’t. It also reminded me I’d forgotten to tell Mark thank you for his text that morning.

  Honey came over and peeled the cap away from my scalp. “So why don’t we rinse out the dye and continue making you fabulous, hmm?”

  Chapter Seven

  I fingered the bright strands of hair near my temples, unable to believe the girl in the mirror was me.

  “What do you think?” Honey hovered behind me with an anxious expression on her face. “You haven’t said a word.”

  I continued to stare at the artfully arranged loose curls and perfect make-up. My lashes were thick and long. Mascara and dark eyeliner made my normal brown eyes appear bright and youthful. Vivid red stained my lips, an exact match for the shade on top of my head. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you like it,” Honey urged.

  She tousled the curls at the base of my neck and blasted it with more hair spray. My hair appeared thick and bouncy, an amazing feat in itself. She’d cut a couple inches off and without the dead ends weighing the strands down, my hair seemed to have taken on a life of its own.

  “Like it? I love it!” I stood and gazed at my reflection, ignoring my absence of a blouse since Honey made me ditch my sweater before she applied the make-up.

  “Wonderful!” She clapped her hands together with glee. “I can’t wait until everyone sees you. They won’t believe their eyes.”

  I folded my arms over my bra and shivered. I’d been without a shirt for an hour. “Can I get dressed now?”

  Honey held up her finger and pranced away to gather a garment bag. She came back and unzipped it, revealing an emerald green dress. “When you chose red hair, I knew you had to wear this.”

  I touched the fabric. Silk. I’d never worn silk. “Oh, Honey. It’s beautiful. Where did you get it?”

  “It was mine. I had it hemmed while we were waiting for the color to take hold. Here, try it on.”

  I searched for a changing room, but Honey laughed. “You’d better get used to nudity now. It’ll make it easier.”

  With a shrug, I slipped out of my ratty sneakers and jeans. I pulled the dress over my hair, careful not to smear the make-up and turned back to the mirror.

  My bra straps showed, so I tucked them in as best I could. The tight bodice and flared waist flattered my slender figure while accentuating the curves I did possess. The bodice’s tiny sequins glittered in the bright lighting.

  I ran my hands over the boning on the side. “Oh, wow. It’s gorgeous.”

  “You’re gorgeous,” Honey corrected. She surveyed me from head to toe. “We must find shoes for you. I didn’t know your size.”

  I curled my toes into the cool tile. Every inch of my body had been pampered and prettied - delicate pink polish on my toes and fingers, light dusting of shimmer on my shoulders, and glittering eye shadow. I sparkled like the Diamond they called me. “I don’t know how to thank you. For the first time in my life I’m beautiful.”

  “You are beautiful. I just provided a little icing.” Honey gathered her tools and stuffed them into her work case. “Come. Let’s show the others.”

  Barefoot, I followed her onto the elevator. The doors opened on the third floor. The room was crowded once again, but this time I fit in, or so my newfound confidence assured me.

  I straightened my shoulders, lifted my chin, and strode through the crowd like I owned the place. As soon as Honey and I entered the narrow hallway, the bravado left and I deflated like a balloon.

  My steps slowed. How would Mark react when he saw me? What would Jase say?

  Honey grabbed hold of my elbow and pulled me forward. “Stop lollygagging.”

  I hated to disappoint her, but becoming the center of attention for more than just a waiting room full of people did something to me I couldn’t describe. It was as if all the blood in my body had pooled in the soles of my feet, and I couldn’t move them. “I can’t do it.”

  Honey stopped and faced me. “Listen, girl. You were born for this. Do any of us start down this path without nerves? Of course not. But you have the potential to be a star. You’re fresh, young, and beautiful. Don’t trick yourself into believing anything else.”

  Part of my brain cautioned me not to take the advice of an aging porn star. Morality aside, I didn’t know her. I knew none of these people, but soon I’d take off my clothes and fuck someone right in front of them. How screwed in the head did that make me?

  Maybe the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

  “I can’t do it.” I shook my head and turned away from her.

  My only thought was to get away, to get as far away as possible. I would’ve run but my gaze landed on Jase, and time stood still.

  He didn’t see me at first. His attention was on the clipboard in his hands, and he spoke into the mouthpiece of a headphone set. Furrowed brows and the tiny crease in his forehead let me know he was stressed. When he looked up and his gaze met mine, all my doubts fled. For a moment heat licked his gaze, and I knew he’d seen me as more than a friend.

  His eyes moved from the top of my head to my bare toes and everywhere in between. I felt flushed wherever his gaze landed. Everywhere. It wouldn’t have taken much for me to burst into flames.

  “Cara.”

  He mouthed my name, but I couldn’t hear it from where I stood. He took a step toward me, and a magnetic pull drew me to him, but a man stepped between us and broke the spell.

  I turned back to Honey, who watched me with amusement. “Are you ready to go in now?”

  I took a deep breath and nodded. “Let’s go.”

  Inside the studio, there was a beehive of activity. Mark and Posey, the blonde I’d met at the convenience store lay upon a bed wrapped in each other’s arms. They weren’t naked, but damned close.

  Honey led me around the numerous cameras and cords littering the area and grabbed a chair for me. I wanted to ask if it was odd watching her son perform, but I didn’t have the guts to ask such a personal question.

  My attention turned to the couple on the bed. I watched, enrapt, as Mark undid Posey’s bra with one hand. An impressive feat considering the leather and spiked garment she wore.

  Mark’s body was a revelation. Hard, packed with muscles, and practically hairless. He was once again slicked down with oil and Posey’s fingernails left
red trails down his back as she moved her hands down his spine. I shivered, wondering what it would be like to touch him, to feel his body next to mine.

  Honey nudged me with her elbow. “Close your mouth, sweetie.”

  I realized I was gaping and snapped my mouth closed. “Sorry.”

  She chuckled and leaned closer to whisper. “You could’ve done much worse than my son. Mark is kind to the actresses, treats them with respect, not like pieces of meat. I had co-stars in the past who treated me like shit. Be happy you’ll have a good guy for your first film. The world was a different place when I started.”

  Once Mark and Posey were through filming the promotional piece, a movie trailer from what I could discern, they approached us. Posey pulled a robe on to cover her lingerie, but Mark wore nothing but a tiny pair of black briefs. I tried not to glance at his package, but it was hard not to sneak a peek.

  Posey rushed forward and greeted me like we were old friends. “I’m so glad you came. And your hair! It’s gorgeous!”

  “Thank you.” I glanced at Mark to see how he took my new appearance.

  He winked at me and smiled. “You clean up nice, kid.”

  “Thanks to your mom.” I ran a hand over the skirt and smoothed imaginary wrinkles from the lovely fabric.

  “Diamond.” A smooth voice insinuated itself into the conversation, and I turned toward Jase. Stubble lined his jaw, and the headphones mussed his curls. “Stand up and let me see you.”

  I did as he asked, wondering when this commanding version of Jase had evolved. I twirled before him, flaunting my lovely new persona. “Do you like it?”

  He didn’t answer. Instead he stared at my bare legs and moved his gaze up, lingering at my breasts and lips, before meeting my eyes. “The red was a good idea.”

  That was it? My pleasure in the makeover disintegrated. I’d thought out of everyone, Jase would be the one pleased with my new look. He’d always wanted me to be confident in my appearance. Now that I was, he’d withdrawn from me.

  Upset with his coldness, I turned to Mark and touched his arm. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to hurt Jase since he’d hurt me. With a flirty tone, I ran my fingers over Mark’s skin. “I can’t wait to start filming.”

  Mark arched an eyebrow but didn’t miss a beat. “Me neither, sweetheart.”

  He chucked me under the chin and leaned in close to whisper a kiss across my cheek. “You look beautiful.”

  I smiled with pleasure and watched as Mark left. Posey trailed after him, her long blonde hair bouncing against her shoulders. Even Honey abandoned me, with the pretext of having work to do. A few crew members remained in the studio, but Jase and I were practically alone.

  I crossed my arms over the low-cut bodice. “What’s up with you?”

  He tugged the headphones from his head and tossed them onto the seat I’d vacated. “You’re really serious about this.”

  “Of course I am. We discussed it last night.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I thought you’d chicken out.”

  Anger burned through me. “You’ve been toying with me, haven’t you? This isn’t a game, Jase.”

  “I know it’s not.” His voice didn’t increase in volume, but his tone firmed. “Damn it, Cara. It’s a shock to see you like this.” He waved his hands toward me.

  “Like what?” I plopped my hands on my hips and dared him with my gaze to say something.

  “Hot. You look fucking hot, and you shouldn’t. Not to me.”

  I blinked several times. My mouth refused to work at first. He thought I was hot? “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Everything,” he answered. “I have to separate Cara from Diamond, and I can’t do it yet. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to.”

  “So you want me to quit?”

  He tugged at his curls with a frustrated gesture. “I want you to go back to the girl I remember, but it’s too late.”

  He handed me a sheaf of papers fastened with a large clip. I flipped through the top pages. “What’s this?”

  “It’s the script. We’ll start filming next week. Prepare to leave for Florida on Friday.”

  “Friday?” My eyes widened. “That’s seven days away! I can’t learn all my lines in seven days.”

  My memory had never been the strongest. The one time I’d been in a play in fifth grade, I’d flubbed my lines more time than I’d cared to count.

  Jase smirked. “You don’t have many lines to memorize. Mostly show up and be prepared for a long day in bed.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re being crude.”

  “Am I?” He shrugged.

  I rolled up the papers and swatted his arm. “Yes, you are. I need you to support me. I have to know you’re on my side.”

  The amusement fled his face. He cradled my face between his warm palms. “I’m always on your side. Always. No matter what happens, you’ll have me to catch you.”

  How did he do it so effortlessly? Make me mad and then be sweet enough to melt me? I leaned into him, just long enough to experience his heat. “Thank you.”

  He pulled away first, but it was slow enough to make me wonder if he wanted to. “I’ll help you with your lines tonight. In case I didn’t say it before, you look really good.”

  The strap of my dress fell again, and I straightened it with a tiny laugh. “Did we succeed in making a new me?”

  “I liked the old you just fine.” He turned and left before I could respond to his devastating comment.

  I returned to the second floor and fetched my clothes. Honey promised to take the green dress to Florida. I was pleased she’d travel with us. I’d need a familiar face to keep me grounded.

  Honey helped me ease the sweater over my head. She smoothed my mussed curls and retouched my make-up. “Go to Jase’s office and complete your tax paperwork. Have you been tested yet?”

  I bent down and tied my shoelaces. “Tested?”

  “For STD’s.” Honey put away the dress and turned back to face me. “It’s standard practice.”

  “Oh. No, not yet.” It was pointless, but I couldn’t tell her without revealing I was a virgin still.

  I hated needles, which was odd considering my habit of cutting, but it seemed different when I did it to myself. Having someone stab me with a sharp object brought back my latent fear of vaccinations.

  “You’ll do fine,” Honey said in a consoling tone. “I’ll see you in a couple days. Be sure to rest before the shoot.”

  “I will,” I promised before leaving to seek out Jase’s office.

  She’d directed me to another hallway on the third floor. A plate glass window with his name embossed in gold lettering let me know I’d found the right door. I knocked before entering and discovered Jase speaking to a man with a bad-fitting suit. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had someone in here.”

  “Diamond.” Jase motioned me forward with a flick of his hand. “I’d like you to meet Lou Valentine. He’s one of our directors. He’ll be working with you.”

  Lou turned his beady gaze on me and licked his fleshy lips. “Nice to meet you.”

  Unease traced down my spine. He reminded me of Tom. Or perhaps all overweight, balding men would make think of him. “Hello, Mr. Valentine.”

  “Call me Lou,” the large man said with a leer.

  Jase stood and shook Lou’s hand. “Thank you for coming.”

  The director shuffled out of the room, and I was glad to be rid of his presence. Jase came around the desk and balanced his hips on the edge. “You don’t like him.”

  I saw no point in lying. “Not really.”

  Jase flicked a piece of lint from the crease of his jeans. “He gets the job done. Award winning directors don’t come easily.”

  I hated the thought of disrobing before the man with the beady eyes, but it was too late to turn back. The script tucked in my back pocket and my slim savings guaranteed I’d go through with my plan.

  “Honey said I needed to fill out paperwork for taxes and suc
h.”

  “You do.” Jase reached behind him and extended a folder. “You can take it home and fill it out. There’s no need to hang around here.”

  There’d once been a time when Jase enjoyed my presence. His easy dismissal stung.

  I accepted the folder. “And the blood tests?”

  He motioned me forward and guided me to the chair in front of his desk. I perched on the edge and watched as he brought out a large, white box filled with syringes, vials, and needles. All were wrapped packaged in clear, plastic wrappings.

  “Roll up your sleeve. Britney will be here in a moment to take your blood.” He pressed a button on his phone and called for assistance.

  A tiny woman soon entered and swabbed my arm with an alcohol swab before tying a tourniquet around my upper arm. “This might sting.”

  I sucked in a breath as she pushed the needle in the tender flesh of in the bend of my elbow. Dark red blood filled the first vial. She collected two more before untying the band around my arm and withdrawing the needle.

  She pressed a cotton ball against the injection site and had me hold it in place as she scribbled something on the vials.

  As soon as she left, Jase stepped in front of me. “A courier service will deliver this to the labs. We should have your results tomorrow.”

  It was all so clinical I had a hard time reconciling the efficient, businesslike man before me with the boy I’d once known. “Why are you acting like this?”

  The words slipped out. Immediately I wished I could call them back.

  Jase’s eyes darkened. “It’s time to grow up. You want to be a part of my world here; you’ve got to be prepared for me to act different.”

  “I should go.” I shot to my feet, still pressing the cotton ball to my skin, and made for the door. Jase called my name softly. I turned to him. “Yes?”

  “Come here.”

  I could’ve left. I should’ve. Instead I ventured forward. “What is it?”

  He gripped my chin in an almost bruising grip. “You’re tempting me to be someone I’m not, and I don’t like it. You were safe from me. Protected in your innocence. You’re forcing me to see you as a woman, and it’s thrown me for a loop. Every time you run from me, I want to give chase. You’re my prey, Cara, and you shouldn’t be.”

 

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