“You should be,” I said with a huff. I bent down and snagged my jeans, pulling them back up and fastening them. “You acted like a dick.”
He stood. “I warned you how I was.”
“Bullshit.” I poked my finger in the center of his chest. “Maybe with your other women, Jase, but not with me. You can act like you don’t give a damn, but I know you love me. You’re just too stupid to admit it.”
“No.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t feel like fighting.”
“No,” he repeated. His gaze held mine. “I’m not too stupid to admit it.”
I inhaled until my lungs ached from excessive air. I released the breath I’d been holding in a whoosh. “What do you mean?”
His hands shook as he framed my face between his palms. “Somewhere along the way I fell in love with you, too.”
Oh, God. He couldn’t have said what I thought he just said. “You’re lying.”
“Am I?” He stroked my cheeks. His fingers were cool and damp against my warm skin. “When you left, I realized how big a mistake I’d made. I wanted you to hurt you. You were right. I was scared, terrified I’d hurt you somehow, but I never should’ve lied to you. I love you.”
“But?” I prodded. I sensed a but coming.
He gave me a tender smile. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Although he did. “I like pain.”
“I know you do and that’s what scares me. What if I’m not enough for you one day? What if I try too hard to please you and end up hurting you? I’d never be able to forgive myself.” He let go of my face and returned his hands to his sides. “The other women I’ve been with, it was just a game for them. When we were through, we went our separate ways. I’ve never been with someone who stuck around for more than one night. We can’t do what we do and make it last forever.”
“Why can’t we?”
“I need pain to obtain pleasure. You need pain to survive.” He touched my lips, outlining the curve of each with the tip of his finger. “It’s not healthy.”
“Then why are you here?”
He stilled his hand. “Because I couldn’t stay away.”
It was hard to stay angry when he acted sweet. “We could try though. Maybe we’d make it work. We don’t know if we don’t give it a shot. Right?”
“Cara,” he said with a sigh.
I shook my head. “Don’t Cara me. We’re doing this. If it doesn’t work, you have permission to blame me.”
He didn’t look convinced, so I did the one thing to make him see reason. I kissed him. Full-on, tongue tangling, kissed him. I’d missed him so much, in ways I didn’t even let myself imagine. It had only been two days, but it seemed like months.
Jase responded with fervor, taking over and controlling the kiss until I was sure I’d burst into flames. I shoved him backward, but he eased me around and bent me facedown over the arm of the couch. He reached around and unfastened my jeans, shoving them off my ankles in one smooth motion. He tugged my panties down and landed a firm slap on my ass.
I cried out, rearing up in surprise. He held me steady with one hand planted against the base of my spine. He landed several more spankings until I writhed against the couch arm. “Please, Jase,” I begged. “I don’t want to wait.”
He unfastened his jeans enough to free his engorged cock and slid inside me. He hadn’t stopped for a condom and the feel of his bare skin within mine made me shiver. I didn’t care if he used protection or not. All I cared about was being filled by him, having him ease the ache only he caused.
I came first, my squeals of pleasure echoing in the room, as he grunted and pulled out of me. Something warm and wet jetted against my spine.
He’d come on me.
The mark of pure possession sent another shaft of heat through me. I loved being owned by him, marked as his. He’d probably done it because he wasn’t wearing a condom, but the pure sexuality of his actions turned me on more than I thought possible.
He rolled me over and pulled me into his arms. He traced a finger through the fluid from his ejaculation and brought it my lips.
I licked his finger clean. “Mmm.”
His eyes darkened with pleasure. “Tomorrow I’m taking you to my doctor. We need you on birth control immediately. I want nothing between us.”
“You’re not going back to Florida?”
He shook his head. “Not until later in the week. They don’t need me until then. I’ll review the scenes and we can reproduce new ones if needed.”
I pressed my chest to his, the damp cotton of his shirt wetting mine too. “So I have you all to myself?”
“Looks that way.” He bent down to take my lips, but a knock interrupted us. No one had access to the top floor but the few people Jase put on the list, so it was odd for someone to arrive.
He lifted his head. “Are you expecting anyone?”
“No one knows I’m here but Mark and Posey.”
Jase frowned and refastened his pants. I hurried to pull on my jeans and straighten my clothing. I’d just tucked my shirt into my waistband after wiping away the mess he’d made on my back as best I could when Jase opened the door.
Jackie stood there, red-faced and crying, with a tiny suitcase beside her. She threw herself in Jase’s arms. Loud, ugly sobs escaped her when her brother caught and held her.
He met my gaze over her head, and I froze like a deer caught in the headlights. I couldn’t tell from his expression if he wanted me to stay or go.
I noticed the instant Jackie realized I was there. She made a snuffling sound and lifted her head.
“What is she doing here?” She aimed the question to Jase, but her gaze locked on me.
“She’s my guest,” Jase answered smoothly. He turned the conversation back toward her. “What are you doing here, Jackie? Did you have another fight with Mom?”
“She’s so stupid!” Jackie wailed. “I’m tired of it.”
Jase grabbed her suitcase and pulled it inside before shutting the front door. He left the case by the door and guided her to the living room.
Jackie ignored my presence and perched on the armchair, thankfully nowhere near the sofa where Jase and I had just had sex.
Jase sat on the couch and pulled me beside him. He put his arm around me, but Jackie continued her complaints, not seeming to notice our closeness.
“I can’t breathe anymore. She’s always there. Telling me what to wear. What to eat. Even who to date. It’s awful, Jase.”
Mascara streaked Jackie’s face. Her eyes were red and puffy. Even tear-stained, she remained one of the most beautiful girls I’d ever seen. Even though I tried to fight it, part of me pitied her.
Jase tried to calm her. “You only have a few months left. Then you’re leaving for Vanderbilt. Can’t you make it until May?”
“No.” Jackie shook her head. “It’s so much worse since you left. They only have me to pin their unrealistic expectations on. It’s not fair.”
The petulance in her tone and the angry look she shot Jase reminded me more than anything she was still Jackie. Spoiled, pampered Jackie who thought she was entitled to the best of everything. Our conversation from a few days before came back full-force.
“Don’t listen to her, Jase. She threatened to tell your parents about your company.”
Jase quickly turned to face me. “What did you say?”
“Ask her.” I pointed at Jackie. “She knows what she said.”
Jackie’s lower lip quivered. “I’m sorry, Jase. I didn’t tell them. I swear I didn’t. You know you can trust me to keep your secret. I’ve kept all of your others.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, not trusting a single word out of her mouth, but she was Jase’s sister. It was up to him to decide.
I studied his face in profile, noting the clenched jaw and pained expression. God knew why, but he loved his sister.
I saw he’d made his decision and my spirits sank.
“You can stay the night,” Jase finally answer
ed. “I’ll call Mom so she won’t worry, but you’re going back to school in the morning.”
Jackie wiped her eyes with a folded up tissue and sent a snide look my way. “Speaking of which, we missed you at school today, Cara. Or should I call you Diamond?”
Jase had stood, but he spun and pointed a finger in his sister’s direction. “Shut up, Jackie, or I swear to God I’ll let you fend for yourself against Mom.”
Jackie crossed her legs and gave him a fake, apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I won’t say anything again.”
I’d had enough. I stood and headed for the guestroom, but Jase’s voice stopped me in my tracks. “I’ll help you move your things into my room.”
I swung to face him. “Excuse me?”
He nodded toward Jackie. “My sister will need a room.”
So I had to share a bed with Jase, and he was okay with Jackie knowing about us? “Umm…okay,” I managed to get out. “I’ll get my things.”
I gathered the majority of my belongings and carted them the short distance across the hall, dumping them onto Jase’s bed until I could sort them out. Jackie met me in the doorway and her disdain hit me like a slap across the face.
“So you managed to get your claws into my brother.” She sneered at me. “I wonder how long until he decides a piece of ass isn’t worth putting up with white trash. Just like my dad did with your mother.”
I drew back as if she’d slapped me. “What are you talking about?”
“Your mother was fucking my father too.”
No. It couldn’t be true. “You’re lying!”
Her cruel gaze locked on me. “Am I?”
I didn’t deserve her vitriol. I’d never done anything to her. What had made Jackie like this?
“Get out,” I muttered and slammed the door in her face.
The day had gone from miserable to wonderful and back again. Jase had declared his love for me. I’d wanted him to, yes, but never imagined he would fall for me as easily as I’d fallen for him. I’d also never expected to experience a sexual relationship where I gave all the power to my partner.
A few minutes later, the door opened and Jase entered the room. He found me sitting on the edge of the bed and he came forward to crouch before me and take my hands in his. “I’m sorry. Jackie can be a bitch sometimes.”
“Not sometimes. All of the time,” I pointed out.
He smiled. “True, but she’s my sister. I have to help her.”
“Why is she like that? Is it really your mother?”
Jase’s expression hardened. “Our mother is very demanding. She’s only satisfied when everything is perfect.”
“Is she why you left?” I’d always wondered what made Jase enroll in college in New York instead of Auburn like he’d always wanted. “To get away?”
“Partly.” Jase stroked a strand of hair away from my cheek and tucked it behind my ear. “I wanted freedom.”
“But you moved back,” I pointed out.
A flush darkened his cheeks. “I missed something at home.”
I didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. “Me?”
He stood and kissed me on the forehead. “You needed me more than I needed to be free.”
I thought back to the girl I’d been then. The sixteen-year-old who’d pretended to be happy. Had I been so obvious? He’d given up everything for me even though he hadn’t seen a future for us. If I hadn’t already loved him, I would’ve fallen.
I kissed him, sweet and soft on his lips. “Thank you.”
“So do you think you can deal with Jackie? For me.”
I nodded. “Just for tonight.”
I bit my lip and wondered how much I should tell him. I’d been honest so far, so I decided he deserved to know. “Jackie claimed your father and my mom…”
Jase glanced at the floor. “She told you?”
I straightened. “Is it true?”
He tried to pull me back into his arms, but I shoved him away. “Answer the question, Jase.”
He lifted a hand and rubbed the back of his neck. “My dad told me.”
“My mom had an affair with your father?” I clutched my throat, feeling as if the words were ripped out of me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It was years ago. It didn’t matter anymore.”
Maybe not to him. The vision I’d had of my family had already been tarnished by what had happened, but to learn there was more overwhelmed me. “Jesus.”
Jase grabbed my hand and tugged it away from my throat. “It doesn’t matter, Cara. Don’t let it affect you and me.”
“I won’t.” I looked up and met his gaze. “I’m tired of paying for my parents’ mistakes.”
Chapter Twenty
I awoke the next morning with my head on Jase’s chest and his hand splayed protectively over my backside. My wrists and ankles were pink from the ropes he’d used to restrain me. My mouth ached from the gag he’d stuffed inside, but the slight aches were nothing compared to the pleasant remnants of the physical release I’d found time and time again throughout the night.
I’d never thought I would enjoy being restrained, but the dominating gleam in Jase’s gaze, his moans as he’d made love to me made giving up control completely worth it.
He’d finally told me where his toy box was, in a drawer beneath his bed, and the restraints, clamps, and sex aides filled me with curiosity. He’d promised I’d pick the next item we experimented with, and I couldn’t wait to try out one of the items he’d shown me.
“Morning,” Jase said as he stretched his arms overhead.
I balanced on my elbows and stared down into his sleepy face. “Good morning.”
Even though the corners of my mouth ached from the gag and my incessant grinning, I couldn’t form my lips into a straight line if my life depended on it. I toyed with his nipple until he pinned my wrist to his chest.
I giggled and snuggled closer. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Hmm.” He pulled me down for a kiss. “What is it?”
I looked away, suddenly shy. “I signed up to get my GED. Class starts on Thursday. I want to try my hand at cosmetology, maybe follow in Honey’s footsteps.”
He sat up and hugged me. “I’m so proud of you.”
I was proud of me too. For once in my life, I had direction. “So you don’t think it’s stupid?”
“No, it’s wonderful. I’ll support you in whatever you decide.”
I hated to ask for my position back, but I’d enjoyed my short employment at Dagger Productions. “Speaking of support, should I search for another job?”
He laughed. “Not unless you want to.”
I ran my hand over his smooth shoulder. “Guess there are benefits to shagging the boss, huh?”
“Don’t get lazy on me.” He climbed out of bed, and I lay back to revel in his nude form as he sought his clothing. Once he’d dressed, Jase gave me a mock glare. “Are you planning on staying in bed all day?”
“Maybe,” I answered with a cheeky grin.
“Jackie’s probably hungry. I need to fix breakfast.”
The reminder of his sister wiped the smile from my face. After a strained evening, I’d claimed a headache and went to bed early. Jase had awakened me close to midnight and kept me up most of the night. He’d threatened to gag me if I didn’t stop moaning. He’d followed through with the threat and my first foray into bondage made me yearn for more.
“Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes.” Jase approached the bed and bent down to give me another kiss. “If you don’t come eat, I’ll drag your butt to the table.”
I groaned, but once he’d left, I crawled out of bed and hurried to shower. After washing and drying off, I inspected my thighs in the mirror. The pink lines had faded to almost blend with my skin tone. The visible evidence of healing made my spirits lighter despite having to face Jackie again.
Jase and Jackie were seated at the island when I arrived at the kitchen. A plate of fluffy omelets waited. I snagged an empty pl
ate and forked an omelet onto it. The two stools at the counter were taken, so I sat at the table. I caught Jase’s gaze on me as I ate, but I pretended to have a mouthful of food.
“I have to drive Jackie to school. Do you want to go?”
I shook my head. “I’ll stay and do the dishes.”
Jackie turned and glanced at me over her shoulder. “You do that.”
“Jackie,” Jase said in a warning tone.
“What?”
“Behave,” he cautioned.
Jackie appeared miffed, but she kept silent. After she’d eaten, she jumped down from the stool, leaving her dirty plate for someone else to deal with, and traipsed down the hall.
“Where are you going?” Jase called to her. “You’ll be late.”
“Relax, big brother. I need to check my hair,” she said with a wave of her hand to her already perfect curls.
I picked up my plate and headed for the sink, but Jase snagged me around the waist and pulled me in for a quick kiss. “When I get back, you’d better be naked.”
I rolled my eyes. “Haven’t you had enough of me yet?”
“Never.” He slid his hand down my back and cupped my ass. He nuzzled my neck until it tickled.
“Ahem,” Jackie said from the doorway. “Am I interrupting?”
I broke away from Jase and continued to the sink. If there’d been any doubts of our relationship for Jackie, they were gone now. Jase gave me another warm look before following his sister out of the apartment.
After they left, I loaded the dishes into the dishwasher and left the frying pan in the sink to soak. Jase was a great cook, but he always made a mess. I scrubbed at the fried egg remnants, but they refused to budge. It would be easier after the pan soaked.
I went back to the bedroom to organize the items I’d taken to Jase’s room and noticed a dresser drawer left open. I didn’t remember it being open before I’d left the room, but I tucked Jase’s socks back inside and shut it.
It seemed so grownup to mix my personal items with Jase’s. Although Jackie was gone, he hadn’t asked me to move my things. It was ridiculous for us to sleep in separate rooms anyway.
Part of me knew I should slow down, but I steamrolled ahead. I hoped I wasn’t making a mistake, but even if it was, it was my mistake to make.
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