Because of You

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “Hey. It’s good to see you, Sam,” he said as he walked towards me, holding out a single rose. I looked down at the flower for a moment. He probably thought it was a simple gesture, but when I looked up into his nearly black eyes, I knew he had no idea just how big a gesture it was to me. I took the rose, holding it to my nose for just a moment before tucking it into my purse so the stem rested inside while the bud stuck out.

  “Thank you for the rose,” I said to him. “That was sweet of you.”

  “It wasn’t much, but I saw a vendor while on patrol downtown earlier and it made me think of you. I’m just glad I was able to see you tonight to give it to you.”

  “Me too,” I said, looking into his eyes again.

  “I’m sorry for the short notice about tonight. I wanted to text earlier, but it can be hard while on patrol.”

  “You must be exhausted though,” I said. “We can do this another night.”

  “I don’t want to do this another night, unless you want to.”

  I tried to stifle my eagerness because truthfully, I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted him here with me right where he was.

  “As long as you’re up to it,” I said, trying to play it cool. I’d never been good around guys.

  “I’m definitely up to it,” he said smiling over to me and then extending his arm like a gentleman. I didn’t know guys even did that anymore. I liked the sweet gesture though and I liked being treated like a lady. I don’t think I’d ever been treated like one. I took his arm, linking mine with his and we started walking.

  “How was your day?” I asked a few moments later.

  “Long. Kind of boring, but that’s how I like it,” he said and I could imagine there were days that weren’t boring and days that he was afraid. “What’s a good place to grab a drink around here?” he asked me.

  “Truthfully, nowhere,” I grimaced and he stopped us in our tracks, looking at me with a playful grin.

  “I guess I didn’t really plan this out very well. I was too anxious to see you,” he said and I felt myself blush and then smile.

  “O’Leary’s isn’t that far,” I told him.

  “That’s where you were work though. You’re okay going there?”

  “I’m fine going there,” I said truthfully. I felt safe at O’Leary’s. The people were familiar to me and the food was great.

  “Then that’s where we’ll go,” he said and we turned right, heading to the pub.

  It wasn’t busy since it was a Tuesday night and when I walked in, I saw Rick look curiously at me. Seamus and Marv were sitting at the bar, focused on the Bruins game, but when they noticed Rick’s stare, they looked over at me, waving me over.

  “What’re you doin’ here kid?” Seamus’s raspy voice said when Gabe and I approached.

  “Just here to get a drink. Best place in town, right?” I said, giving him a wink.

  “Definitely. They’ve got the prettiest waitresses in all of Boston,” Seamus said and then looked over to Gabe. “Who’re you?” I wasn’t surprised by Seamus’s bluntness.

  I heard Gabe laugh and then stick his hand out.

  “Gabe Torres. Nice to meet you.” Seamus took his hand and then looked at me.

  “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend, kid.”

  “I don’t,” I said quickly.

  “We’re just here to get a drink,” Gabe said and Seamus and Marv looked at each other for a moment.

  “If he tries anything fresh, you let us know, kid,” Marv said and I had to laugh.

  “I’m not worried, Marv. Gabe’s a police officer. I think I’m safe,” I said and I saw the two old men looking at Gabe.

  “Thank you for your service. I know there are a lot of bad things going on with cops these days, but I want you to know you’re appreciated,” Marv said, holding his hand out to Gabe.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “We’re going to grab a table now. I’ll see you two later,” I said and the old men smiled their aged smiles at me and I led Gabe over to a quiet booth in the back. I started taking off my coat and I was surprised when Gabe started helping me.

  “Thank you,” I said softly as he slid it off my body and hung it on the hook by the booth. I sat down as he took his jacket off, revealing a trendy looking black and gray sweater. I tried not to notice how hot he looked, but it was impossible as he hung his coat and then sat across from me. The pub was dark, but there was a light between us that made him look even better. Stop it! I told myself.

  “So, what’s good here?” he said, looking through the menu. “I know I asked you out for drinks, but I haven’t had dinner, so I’ll grab an appetizer or something. Are you hungry?”

  “I actually made dinner earlier for my sister and I, but I could eat a little something.”

  “What’s your favorite one?”

  “The artichoke dip, hands down,” I answered without a second thought.

  “That was quick. I guess that’s what we’ll get then,” he said just as our waitress came over.

  “Hey, Sam,” Gretchen said. She was a fellow college student who also worked at the pub. She was a sweet girl and easy to work with. I could tell she was surprised to see me at O’Leary’s on a day off.

  “Hey. How’s it going?” I asked her and she shrugged.

  “Slow night, but that was expected. What can I get you guys?”

  “We’re just going to have some drinks and the artichoke dip,” I told her and she nodded.

  “What can I get you to drink?” she asked and I deferred to Gabe.

  “Sam Adams,” he answered and then looked to me. “What about you?”

  “Just a glass of Moscato, please,” I told Gretchen.

  “Got it. Be right back with the drinks and the dip won’t be long.”

  Gabe and I both said thank you at the same time and then Gretchen was gone.

  “You asked me, but I never got a chance to ask you. How was your day?” he asked me a few moments later.

  “I just had one class this morning, so it was a good day.”

  “What’d you do the rest of the day?”

  “A little bit of studying. Made dinner. Did some binge-watching with Rachel.”

  “Anything good?” he asked.

  “Just some sci-fi show Netflix put out. It wasn’t bad,” I told him, just as I heard my phone beep with a text message. I didn’t reach for it right away. I always found it rude to do that when out with someone.

  “It’s fine if you check that. I don’t mind. It’s the way of the world,” he said.

  “It’ll just be a sec,” I said, getting my phone out. I glanced down quickly to see a text from my mom.

  MOM: IT WAS GOOD TO SEE YOU TODAY. SEND ME THAT RECIPE!

  I didn’t realize how dramatic my sigh was as I read it until Gabe spoke.

  “Is everything alright?” he asked and I nodded, quickly putting my phone away.

  “Yeah. It was just a message from my mom.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “It’s nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “I shouldn’t have even checked my phone.”

  “But you did and now you look upset,” he said. I never had been able to hide my emotions. My poker face was nonexistent.

  “No. I’m not upset,” I tried to say dismissively. “It’s just…with my mom…nothing with her is ever easy.”

  Gretchen appeared just then, placing our drinks in front of us and I was grateful for the distraction.

  “The dip’s on its way,” she said and then left us alone again.

  “I take it things aren’t good with your mother then,” Gabe said the moment we were alone as if there hadn’t been a pause in the conversation at all.

  “No, they’re not good,” I said and then paused for a second, wondering if I should go on. Gabe didn’t need to know any of this, but when I met his eyes across the table, something told me he wanted to know. “I actually hadn’t spoken to her in months…not till she showed up at the apartment today.”

 
“Why’d she come?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer.

  “To tell us about Tim, her husband. She came to tell us he’s got lung cancer.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, but when I didn’t say anything, I knew he could tell I wasn’t.

  “It’s…it’s just that…I’d…I’d rather not talk about my mom,” I stammered. I didn’t talk about my mom to people or how I was raised. Tyler knew a little, but he didn’t know the whole story. No one did except for Rachel. It was our secret though.

  “I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Gabe said apologetically.

  “You didn’t,” I said, looking at him across the table just as Gretchen showed up with our dip. I thanked her after she set it down and then I met Gabe’s eyes again. “You already know more about me than a lot of people, Gabe,” I began softly. “If…if you hadn’t been the one to find me like that at the bottom of the stairs, you wouldn’t know anything, but you do know and I can’t pretend that you don’t. You have to know though...” I took a breath, closing my eyes for a second as I thought about what I was going to say to him. “You have to know that my life…it’s messed up. So much of it is messed up and I’m just trying to figure it out right now, so if you’re looking to get to know someone who doesn’t have issues…then…I should just go now. You’re too nice of a guy to deal with someone like me.”

  I felt him reach across the table and place his hand over mine. I felt a chill climb up my arm and his touch was warm and gentle. It was something I hadn’t quite felt before and when I looked into his eyes again, I knew he wasn’t letting me leave.

  “We all have our issues, Sam. I don’t know everything that has happened in your life, but I want you to know I’m not looking to get to know anyone other than the girl that’s sitting across from me right now.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I could feel my throat tightening though. His words were so kind. I didn’t think guys actually spoke that way.

  “You might not feel that way once you really get to know me,” I finally said, laughing softly.

  “Let me be the judge of that,” he said and I nodded, smiling timidly over to him. “Now, I’ve gotta try this artichoke dip to see if it’s as good as you claim.”

  He removed his hand from mine then. I missed his touch the second it was gone and I slowly brought my hand back to my lap. I wanted to believe his words, but I knew in my heart, he’d go running once he discovered just how messed up my life really was.

  ~~~

  “So, what about your family, Gabe?” I asked as we walked back towards my apartment. We’d finished up at O’Leary’s and the rest of the conversation hadn’t been nearly as heavy as the start. We talked about my classes and he talked a little about work. He was easy to talk to and he made me laugh more times than I could count.

  “My family?” he said, looking over to me for a second. I could tell by the smile on his face he didn’t have the same relationship with his family as I did with mine. I knew instantly when he thought of his family, it was with fondness.

  “Yes. Your family.”

  “Well, for starters, we’re loud and,” he said and then laughed a little before he spoke, “and we eat a lot too.”

  “Sounds like a good time,” I said and he nodded.

  “It always is.”

  “Are they all here in Boston?”

  “Pretty much. Well, not right in the city, but close.”

  “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

  “Two little sisters. Marissa’s still in college and Daniella’s a senior in high school.”

  “Do you see them often?”

  “I do. At least once a month my mom makes a huge meal with the best Mexican food you’ll ever eat.”

  “You’re Mexican then?”

  “Yes. My grandparents on my dad’s side immigrated here before he was born. My mom’s family has been here a long time though.”

  “What do your parents do?”

  “My mom is a dental hygienist and my dad’s a cop.”

  “Your dad’s a cop too?” I asked him,

  “He’s retired now. Has been for a couple of years. I sometimes forget that, but once you’re a cop, you’re always a cop.”

  “Is that why you became a police officer?” I asked him and he didn’t answer right away.

  “I always wanted to be like my dad, I guess. I’d watch him put on his uniform every day, I’d see the car parked outside of our house each night and I wanted to do that and so that’s what I did.”

  “How long have you been a cop?”

  “This is my third year,” he answered.

  “And are you happy with your choice?” I asked him as we neared the stoop of my apartment.

  “There’s nothing else I’d want to do with my life,” he said and when I turned to look at him, I could see the pride he had in being a police officer.

  “Aren’t you afraid though?”

  “Of course, I’m afraid. I’m afraid every day. If you’re not afraid as a cop, you’re a fool. You get careless and that’s how mistakes happen. The fear doesn’t control you though. It’s the moments where you get to help someone that mean the most,” he said, his voice getting softer as we stopped in front of the stoop, the light from the lamppost seemingly shining a spotlight on us. “Sometimes,” he said, turning to face me, “it’s in those moments you meet some really incredible people.” I felt his hand on my cheek then, his fingertips gently brushing over my skin and our eyes met. I knew he was referring to me and I couldn’t help the little smile that formed on my lips. “Thanks for coming out with me tonight, Sam.”

  “Thanks for inviting me,” I said as he smiled once more, his fingertips trailing down my cheeks until they were gone and just like earlier at the pub when he’d pulled his hands away, I found myself wanting to feel his touch again.

  I didn’t even feel the cold of the air around us because when I was with Gabe, I was warm. I felt the ache on my lips as we stood so close though. Unlike the last time we stood here in this same predicament where I found myself praying he wouldn’t kiss me because I was too afraid, I wanted nothing more now than to feel his lips on mine. I knew he wanted it too. I could tell by the way his eyes focused on my mouth. My heart was pounding as he came closer, the smell of him, so fresh and good, consuming me. I waited for it. I closed my eyes in anticipation as I felt him getting nearer, but then I felt his lips on the skin of my cheek and my mouth was screaming in anger. His lips lingered on my cheek for a few long moments, searing into my skin. My heart was still pounding, but my breathing was calming as he finally pulled back.

  “I’m off tomorrow. I’d like to see you if that’s alright,” he said and I nodded.

  “I work until four. I’ve got the lunch shift tomorrow, but I’m free after that,” I said, hoping I wasn’t coming across as flustered as I felt inside.

  “I’ll come by at five then if that’s okay. Dinner and a movie?”

  “Yeah, I haven’t been to the movies in forever.”

  “I’ll look up what’s playing and text you so you can decide.”

  “Sounds good.” Our eyes locked again and I hoped maybe he’d kiss me this time, but he didn’t. I tried to hide my disappointment as I walked up the stoop and unlocked the door as he waited to make sure I got inside safely. I started pulling on the handle, but I stopped when I heard his voice.

  “Wait!” I turned to see him trotting up the stoop until he was one step below me. We were eye to eye now when he usually had a good six inches on me. I liked being able to really see him and what I saw was a man eager to say something to me. “I tried being a gentleman and waiting because I know things have happened to you, Sam. Even though you haven’t told me exactly what, I know you’ve been hurt, and I don’t know if you’re ready for this,” he began, “but I’ve wanted to kiss you from the moment we met and I can’t wait any longer.”

  My heart was thundering now as he looked into my eyes.

  “Don’t wait then,” I
whispered and his lips were brushing mine a second later. His lips were smooth and warm. It was a gentle kiss, a sweet kiss, almost innocent, but the kind of kiss that makes your knees weak. I’d only heard of those kisses until this moment when I found out first hand they are real and I found myself wondering if he could make me feel this way by simply touching his lips to mine, what else was Gabriel Torres capable of doing to me?

  He was smiling when he pulled away and I knew I was too. For that moment as he kissed me, I hadn’t thought of anything other than this man who’d somehow been brought into my life for whatever reason, even if it was only to give me this one moment of happiness. It was a feeling I’d forgotten existed because it’d been so long since I’d felt it, if I’d ever even truly felt it at all.

  “I can cross that off my bucket list,” he said and I had to laugh.

  “Kissing me was on your bucket list?” I grinned.

  “I’m telling you, Samantha Everly, you made an impression on me that I just couldn’t shake.”

  “And did I live up to that impression?” I asked playfully.

  “Oh, you blew it out of the water,” he said and I laughed again.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Gabe,” I said, wishing we didn’t have to say goodbye.

  “See you tomorrow, Sam,” he said, kissing my hand before I opened the door. I turned and waved to him once more. He smiled and then walked away.

  I was still smiling when I walked in. Rachel was in her scrubs getting ready to leave for her shift at the hospital.

  “I take it things went well,” she said when I closed the door.

  “You could say that,” I said, taking my coat off.

  “Do I get any more details than that?” she asked, but I shook my head.

  “Not yet. Maybe next time,” I told her.

  “So, there’s going to be another time?”

  “Tomorrow. Dinner and a movie after work,” I said, walking to the kitchen to get a drink of water.

  “I’m glad you had a good time tonight,” she said, but when I turned to her, I saw the smile from earlier was gone. “What’s wrong?” I asked.