Because of You

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  He didn’t look away as he said it. I knew he meant every word and as afraid as I was, the only thing that scared me more was him leaving.

  “I want you to stay,” I whispered and he took my hand.

  “Then I’ll stay.” He lightly brushed his fingertips over my cheek again and a softness came over his face as he smiled sweetly at me. “I’ll keep you safe, Sam. He won’t hurt you again.”

  Something about his words made me believe him. My life was already better the short time I’d known him.

  It was quiet for a few moments. I could tell he was thinking about something. He wanted to say something, but I could sense his hesitation.

  “What are you thinking about, Gabe?” I finally asked and he waited a few seconds before answering.

  “I’m thinking you need to tell someone what happened to you. That you need to protect yourself and other women so he doesn’t do it to someone else.”

  Our eyes locked and I felt a momentary sense of anger wash over me. I’d just told him one of my darkest secrets and here he sat trying to tell me what to do with my life. It hadn’t happened to him. He didn’t know Tyler or his father or what they could do to me if I tried to get Tyler in trouble.

  “No,” I said quickly. “It’s over with. It’s done and I’m moving on.”

  “It’s not over,” he responded. “Last night proves it. He’s not done with you and you have to keep yourself safe.”

  “You don’t know Tyler Reeves. You don’t know who his father is. They’ll destroy me, Gabe, and nothing will happen to Tyler.”

  “You have to do something.”

  “There’s nothing to do. It’s not like I went to the hospital and even if I had, he’s my boyfriend. He could say it was consensual and it would just be his word against mine. His father’s a lawyer at one of the most well-known firms in Boston. I have nothing.” My voice cracked and I felt my hand was shaking as I wiped away a tear. When I looked at him, I knew he knew what I was saying was true. He was a cop. He knew how this worked. I had no evidence and even if anything did happen to Tyler because of the bruises on my arm, it would be minimal. Probation or something. Tyler would never pay for what he did to me.

  “At least look into a restraining order. Then he’ll have to stay away from you.”

  I didn’t respond right away. I sat looking at Gabe, wishing it was as easy as he made it out to be. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t think anything would stop Tyler from doing what he wanted to do.

  “I don’t know,” I whispered, shaking my head. I just wanted to forget about all of this. I wanted to move on, but Tyler was proving he wasn’t going to let me.

  “Please tell me you’ll consider it,” Gabe said softly and our eyes met again. I could see how worried he was. “If I hadn’t been there the other night, I’m afraid to think what he would’ve done to you. He was waiting for you, Sam. There is no other reason to explain why he was at your apartment. He was waiting for you to come home and based on what he did to you even when I was there, I know he would’ve done so much worse if you’d been alone. I understand now why your sister was so adamant we talk to him after you fell.”

  “Rachel just worries about me.”

  “And she should. Tyler Reeves is dangerous. I’ve seen it now and I’m afraid for you. You have to do something.”

  I didn’t say anything right away. I looked down at my hands for a few moments, but then I looked up and I could see the worry in Gabe’s eyes. I knew I had to do something.

  “Okay,” I said softly as a tear fell from my eyes. He took me in his arms then and pulled me close. I was safe. In his arms I wasn’t afraid.

  “It’s going to be alright,” he whispered into my ear and I closed my eyes tightly, praying he was right.

  ~~~

  Gabe walked me home. I sat close to him on the T and I realized how much I liked having him beside me. There was something so different about him than any other guy I’d ever been with. I’d known that the moment we met though. Gabriel Torres was special and when he held my hand as we walked up to my apartment building, I felt an ache in my heart knowing that he would be gone in a few short minutes.

  I couldn’t help but look around as we approached the door to the building. I was trying to be discreet, but I knew Gabe was being cautious too. He pulled me closer and held my hand a little tighter. He was looking for Tyler too, but I knew with Gabe at my side, Tyler wouldn’t try anything.

  “Do you mind if I walk you inside?” he asked and I knew it was because he was nervous. He had a right to be though. I almost told him that wasn’t necessary, but I knew he wanted to and if I was being honest, I wanted him to as well.

  “Sure,” I said, smiling over to him as I unlocked the door.

  It was late so we walked quietly up the stairs so as not to disturb anyone and when we got to my door, I unlocked it. It pushed open a little and then I turned to him.

  “Thank you,” I said softly.

  “You’re welcome,” he said.

  “Really, Gabe. Thank you for…for everything,” I continued and he smiled shyly. I knew he didn’t like me making a fuss over him, but I didn’t think it was a fuss. It was gratitude.

  “I’ll see you in the morning then? I’ll take you down to the station to fill out the paperwork and file it at the courts?” I could sense his hesitation, as if he was afraid I’d changed my mind on the plans we’d made earlier at his place.

  “I’ll be ready,” I said, my heart beating faster at the thought.

  “It’ll be okay. I promise,” he said with a soft smile as he rested his palm against my cheek, causing our eyes to meet. I nodded cautiously and then he leaned in, brushing his lips over my cheek. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of his warm lips on my skin and then I moved my head so my lips slid onto his. I think he was surprised. I hadn’t expected to do it, but I needed his kiss right now and as my mouth moved with his, I felt so much better.

  When I pulled away there was a little smile on his face that told me he’d wanted the kiss as much as I did.

  “See you tomorrow then,” he said quietly and he squeezed my hand before I opened the door and walked inside, leaving Gabe behind.

  My sister came walking down the hall as I shut the door, locking it behind me as I heard his footsteps walking away.

  “Everything okay?” she asked as I took my jacket off and hung it on the hook.

  “Yeah. I was just at Gabe’s,” I told her. “He just left.”

  “He walked you up?”

  “Yes. I think he’s still a little leery after what happened yesterday.”

  “He should be. I know I am.”

  “Yeah,” I said softly. “Me too.”

  I walked past her, going into our small kitchen and getting a glass of water.

  “Everything’s okay with you two then?”

  “I think so,” I said, taking a drink.

  “I really like him,” she said, resting her hand on my arm and looking into my eyes. I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face.

  “Yeah. Me too.” We were quiet for a few moments and I felt the nerves start to form as I thought about what Gabe and I were doing tomorrow.

  “Are you okay?” Rachel asked me and I knew she could see the apprehension on my face.

  “I need to tell you something,” I began and I could see the concern on her face when her brows creased.

  “What is it?”

  “Tomorrow,” I began and then paused. “I’m going with Gabe down to the police station. I’m…I’m going to file a restraining order against Tyler.”

  I watched as her eyes got wide and she just stared at me for a second.

  “Are you serious?” she finally asked.

  “Yeah,” I said quietly. “I think I should.”

  I could feel my throat starting to tighten as I thought about tomorrow and the possible repercussions.

  “Oh, honey,” Rachel said, her voice cracking as she pulled me in for a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry it’s come t
o this.”

  “Me too,” I whispered. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”

  She pulled back, holding me at arm’s length and looking me straight in the eye.

  “Hell yes!” she said adamantly. “He’s done nothing but hurt you. He has to stop. He keeps showing up and I’m afraid that he’s going to hurt you. I mean, really hurt you, Sam. You already nearly died when you fell down those stairs and I don’t care what anyone says. I know he had something to do with it. If he’s capable of doing that, he’s capable of anything.”

  I ignored her comment about my accident. The detective had already proven Tyler had nothing to do with my fall. Nothing would convince Rachel of that though.

  “Gabe will be here in the morning,” I said softly and then dabbed at my eyes. I hated the fact Tyler had this much control over me. I wanted to be free of him. I prayed tomorrow would be the first step.

  “Do you want me to come?” she asked, but I shook my head.

  “No. I’ll be okay. Gabe will be with me and he knows how all this works. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

  “You’d better,” she warned and it grew quiet again for a few moments.

  “I’m scared, Rache,” I said quietly and I watched her mouth dip into a helpless frown. “I’m so afraid of how Tyler and his family are going to react to this. They have everything at their fingertips and I have nothing but my word.”

  “And that’s all you’re going to need because it’s the truth. He may have his father’s money and power, but you’ve got the truth.”

  “I just hope it’s enough,” I said, wiping at my eyes again and she pulled me in for another hug.

  “I love you, Sam,” she said and I held on tighter to my sister, the way we did as kids.

  “I love you too,” I said and then she let me go. “I think I’m going to head to bed.”

  “Me too. You let me know if you need anything. Promise?” she asked and I nodded before heading down the hall.

  I changed into my pajamas and then washed the makeup from my face and brushed my teeth before heading to my room. I was just about to climb into bed when I heard a text message go off on my phone. I went to the nightstand I’d rested it on and picked it up, a knot forming in my stomach when I saw what was waiting for me. A message from Tyler.

  IS THE COP GONNA WALK YOU HOME EVERY NIGHT?

  I slammed the phone down, crawling into my bed, resting my head on the pillow as the tears fell down my face. I closed my eyes, praying for sleep that I doubted would ever come.

  Seventeen

  I’d laid there for a long time, wondering if Tyler was still outside. Wondering if he’d try and get into the building. If he’d try and get to me. I told myself I was being crazy, but that did little to ease my mind. Somehow though, I’d fallen asleep and when I woke, I did my best pretending I was cool and collected, when really, I was terrified.

  And now as Gabe took my hand and we walked out of the courthouse, nothing had changed. I’d held it together throughout the day, but my heart had pounded and the knot in my stomach almost made me sick.

  “You did great,” he said as the cold air hit me.

  “That was awful,” I said and he stopped, taking my arm and pulling me gently into an alcove where we could have some privacy.

  “I can’t pretend to know how it felt in there, talking about what he’s done to you to complete strangers, but I’m proud of you, Sam,” he said, smiling sweetly at me and brushing his fingertips over my cheek.

  “I know I had to do it, but once he finds out…” I said, my voice fading off as my mind wandered to how Tyler and his family would act.

  “He’ll leave you alone. He has to leave you alone or he’ll go to jail. Even Tyler isn’t that stupid to violate the order,” Gabe said, but I couldn’t help the doubt I felt. Gabe didn’t know Tyler like I did.

  “And he’ll be served by tomorrow, right?” I asked. All of this had been explained to me, but my head had been in such a fog I hadn’t remembered half of it.

  “He should be,” he said and the knot got even bigger in my stomach. He could see my worry. I could tell by the way his fingertip hooked under my chin and drew my gaze to his eyes. “It’ll be okay. I promise you that. He won’t hurt you anymore.” He smiled at me, trying to encourage me and make me feel better. I appreciated his efforts, but I didn’t think anything would make me feel better.

  “I wish I had your optimism,” I said softly.

  “You will,” he said with a smile. “I’ll just have to keep rubbing off on you. I’ve been told I’m a pretty charming guy, so you’ll eventually cave.”

  I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. It felt good to laugh. I hadn’t done much laughing since Tyler came into my life, but then I realized I hadn’t done much laughing my entire life. There hadn’t been much joy, not the kind I saw in Gabe’s eyes. Maybe someday I could understand that kind of joy too.

  “Thank you for being here today. You have no idea what a big help you were. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.”

  I watched as his smile faded a little.

  “Yes, you could’ve.” His voice was strong and without hesitation. “I know you don’t think it, Sam, but you’re strong. From what you’ve told me, you wouldn’t have been able to make it this far if you weren’t. And as far as today goes, it was you in there, not me. It was you who decided to do this, not me or your sister. It was all you, so start giving yourself a little bit of credit. We all need some help sometimes, but you can’t do anything unless you decide to do it.”

  Our eyes remained focused on each other for a few moments and I slowly felt a smile curling up on my lips. I’d never felt strong. I only felt as if I was merely surviving, but looking at Gabe now and hearing his words, I thought maybe I was strong after all.

  “Thank you,” I said softly and the smile returned to his face. He pushed a piece of loose hair behind my ear that had escaped the braid I’d put it in in the morning. I felt a tingle when his fingers grazed over my skin and then he was leaning in slowly until he was so close I could feel his warm breath tickling my lips. And then he kissed me. Soft and slow for a few moments; some of the sweetest moments I’d experienced in a long time, because things felt different now. I thought I felt the strength Gabe saw in me and thought maybe he was right. Maybe now, everything would be okay.

  Eighteen

  I did my best to hold onto the optimism Gabe was trying to impose on me, but it was hard because my mind kept wandering to Tyler and wondering if he’d been served yet. I tried to imagine his reaction or his father’s, for that matter, and the image I conjured in my head did nothing to reassure me. Still, I was determined to try and be positive the way Gabe was. I’d lived almost my entire life in states of fear and maybe now, I wouldn’t have to.

  I had a smile on my face as I cleared a table from the lunch rush. They’d left me a good tip and that always made me happy. I took the dishes to the back and when I returned to the dining room, I felt the smile grow wider at the sight of Gabe standing by the door in his uniform.

  “What’re you doing here?” I asked. He leaned in, giving me a kiss on the cheek, my heart beating faster having him so close. He smelled good and I closed my eyes trying to be discreet when I breathed in.

  “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d say hi.”

  “You weren’t just in the neighborhood,” I said, putting one hand on my hip and giving him a playful smirk. “You work in East Boston and you don’t live anywhere near here.”

  “Then I’ll be honest and say I simply wanted to see you.” He grinned that boyish grin I found so endearing and the one that made me forget about my troubles, if even for a moment.

  “Honesty is always the best policy, Officer Torres,” I said, stretching onto my tippy toes to give him another kiss on the cheek.

  “I also wanted to check in and see how you’re doing,” he said, his voice dropping as the playful banter from only seconds ago began to wane. “I know yes
terday wasn’t easy and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  I felt the familiar knot in my stomach at his words. I’d done my best not to think about the ramifications of what I’d done. Gabe had tried to reassure me everything would be alright, but I was still uneasy; still afraid of how Tyler and his father would react.

  “I’m okay. Just trying to be optimistic like you,” I said, trying to get a smile to form on my face, but it was proving harder than I expected.

  “It’s gonna be okay, Sam,” he said softly, stepping closer to me and taking my hand. I looked up to meet his eyes and I started to relax. He had a way of calming me I didn’t quite understand yet, but I wasn’t going to question it.

  “I know,” I told him, hoping if I said it, I would believe it. “It was really sweet of you to come by to check on me. Thank you.”

  “Of course,” he said, smiling a sweet smile and then it grew quiet for a few seconds. “There was actually another reason I stopped by,” he began, pausing for a moment before continuing. “I wanted to ask you a question.” I could tell he was nervous and my curiosity was piqued.

  “What question?” I asked.

  “I know it’s short notice, but I told my mom I’ve been seeing someone and she’d like to meet you. And I’d like you to meet my family too.”

  The smile that had been stained on my face ever since he’d walked into O’Leary’s started to fade as I thought about how to respond to what should’ve been an easy question. I’d heard about Gabe’s perfect family and I couldn’t help but feel intimidated by their description. I wasn’t the kind of girl Gabe should be bringing home. I grew up in trailer parks with a mother who cared more about the men in her life than the daughters she’d brought into the world. I didn’t exactly fit the image of the kind of girl a police officer went out with or brought home to his straight-laced family. I knew my hesitation was obvious. I was afraid to meet his family because I was afraid of what they would think about me, but then our eyes met and I remembered his words. Give yourself some credit. He was right about that. I didn’t give myself the credit I deserved. I never had because I didn’t think there was anything to give myself credit for. When I looked into his eyes though, I knew he wanted me to say yes. He wanted to bring me further into his life.