Blood Redemption hag-1

by Alex Palmer

  One of the area commanders was asked to step down last night. He’s now got a date with the Police Integrity Commission and no one’s expecting him back. I won’t tell you who it is, you’ll hear soon enough; it’s not Marvin, I’ve got to say. As a result, there’s been a reshuffle up top and while I was the last person to expect this because it’s a jump up the ladder for me, I’ve been asked to stand in as the Homicide and Violent Crime Agency Commander as of nine o’clock tomorrow morning.’

  There was a ripple of surprise throughout the room. He saw them watching him intently.

  ‘Now, as you know, we’ve never fitted into the new structure, we’re a glitch from times gone by. It seems Marvin doesn’t like us being too independent on his patch. So I have to tell you — with me going, we’re finished. This unit is disbanded as of now.’

  There was a shocked and stony silence.

  ‘Just like that? Is that it?’ Louise’s rough voice was the first to sound in the room. ‘This job is the only thing that’s keeping me going.’

  ‘No one’s losing their job. No one. If you want to, there are redundancies on offer. But there’ll be jobs in the agencies or the local commands for you all. Whatever we can work out, there will be jobs and they’ll be ones that you want to have.’ Again there was silence. When he spoke again, he felt he was pleading with them. ‘I told them this was a waste. I said, this is a good team, look at the results. They wouldn’t listen to me. They’d made their minds up before I walked in the room.’

  ‘You didn’t have to take that job on, Harrigan,’ Trevor called out.

  ‘You could have said no.’

  ‘I wasn’t going to do that, mate. There’s no point in me pretending I would.’

  ‘Don’t call me mate, mate,’ Trevor said to himself.

  ‘Now, Trev and Ian are going to take this case over to the Agency, to finish it off. I’m not leaving it with Marvin, I got that much out of them. And I’ll be here tomorrow afternoon to talk placements with you all. Does anyone have any questions?’

  He waited in the silence. They looked at him but no one spoke.

  ‘So for all the work we’ve done, Harrigan, for you, for everyone,’

  Ian called out, ‘all that happens now is we get shafted. And you let them do it.’

  ‘There was nothing I could do to stop them. Nothing.’

  Again there was silence.

  ‘If you want to come down to the Maryborough now, I’ll buy you all a drink as a farewell,’ he said.

  It was too late, they were leaving anyway, without speaking to him or even looking at him. They walked out in ones and twos, heading for the elevators. All he could do was go and sit in his office and watch them leave. Where Grace had gone, he did not know.

  Trevor and Ian appeared, putting on their jackets. Harrigan went out to them.

  ‘Where’s Grace?’ he asked Ian.

  ‘How should I know? I thought if anyone would know that, you would,’ Ian replied.

  ‘There’s no need for this,’ Harrigan said almost angrily as they moved past him. ‘When you’re in the Agency, you can both look for promotions. The prospects will be a lot better for you there. I’ll make sure they are.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Trevor turned on him and spoke acidly. ‘But they still weren’t going to give me your job, were they? And do I know why?

  You fucking bet I do.’

  They were gone in the lift with some others.

  Dea was among the last to go. He watched her tidy her desk before she left, she was the only one who had. Everyone else had collected their coats and bags and left everything just as it was. Family photos, individual coffee cups, posters, football scarves remained in place. He walked up to her as she was picking up her bag.

  ‘Do you know where they’ve gone?’

  ‘I don’t know. Out. The Maryborough, I suppose. Don’t know if they want to see you down there.’ She did not look at him. ‘What happens to me?’

  ‘I’ll see you get a job, Dea.’

  ‘Maybe I don’t want one. It might be time to give it away. Might take one of those redundancies you’re tossing around.’

  She walked out without looking back or saying goodbye and then there was no one left. Isolation had sucked the air out of the room, he had to get out of there. He picked up his phone and rang Susie, telling her he would be on his way over to see Toby just as soon as possible.

  As he spoke, he looked at the vacant office, with its scattered chairs and empty desks, and thought that people asked too much of you sometimes. Shortly afterwards, he was driving in a slow traffic that was picking its way through the storm’s aftermath, on his way to Cotswold House, relieved beyond description to have the day finished with.

  Grace was stepping her own way through the chaos of the office, collecting her bag and her coat, glancing at Harrigan’s empty office and asking herself where he would have gone. She had places of her own to go; they did not include the Maryborough where she knew everyone else would be writing themselves off. She drove over to St Vincent’s Hospital, to the intensive care ward where Agnes Liu had been moved out of her goldfish bowl. Her son was with her, as usual. Agnes smiled in a pale sort of way from her mound of pillows when Grace sat down beside the bed.

  ‘They rang you?’ Grace asked. ‘You do know?’

  ‘Yes. Your Inspector rang me. A little while ago now,’ Agnes said.

  ‘Matthew saw it on TV as well. You’ve found her.’

  ‘Yes, we’ve got her in custody. She’ll probably be there for some time.’

  ‘Was it her? The girl I told you about?’

  ‘Yes, it was her.’

  ‘I thought it would be. There will be people who’ll blame me for this. I can hear now what they’re going to say.’

  ‘They shouldn’t. She’ll be the last person to agree with them if they do.’

  ‘They will. They always do.’

  ‘I won’t be one of them,’ Grace said, shaking her head.

  ‘I’m going to recover,’ Agnes said. ‘I am going to go back into practice, even if it’s only for a few days or even hours a week. I have to. It’s the only thing I can do from here.’

  ‘You’ll do it, then,’ Grace replied gently. ‘You’ll show them.’

  Matthew Liu wanted to see her alone before she left and they went into a small, private room. His face was as thin and hollow as it had been the last time she had seen him.

  ‘I saw you on TV,’ he said. ‘You went in there and you talked to her?’

  ‘Yes, I did,’ Grace replied and, in saying this, realised that she had crossed a boundary, that something about her had changed fundamentally.

  ‘What was she like?’

  ‘Small. Very small, just like you said. And very, very young.’

  ‘Did she really tell you she wished she hadn’t done it?’ he asked, unbelieving.

  ‘She did. And she meant it,’ Grace replied.

  ‘And she said that to you?’

  ‘Yes, she did.’

  ‘Is she mad? I can’t see it.’

  ‘She’s nowhere you can connect to. Where she comes from is not somewhere you want to go.’ Grace was surprised to hear herself sounding like Harrigan. ‘She’ll do whatever she does with herself but you mustn’t let that touch you in any way at all. You can’t let her destroy your life. Today’s your very first day, Matthew. It’s the first day of your life. You have to start from here.’

  He broke down, shouting and picking up a chair and smashing it against the wall, and then weeping furiously. Grace stayed with him for as long as he wanted to cry before seeing him repair himself and go back to his mother’s bedside. She needed to do this for herself, it took her out of her own head. She left them sitting together as the day finished.

  She left the hospital and, in the evening dark, sat in her car in the car park. In the darkness, she remembered the flash of white light she had seen as the bullets had crashed past her head and into the thick wooden door behind her that morning. If they had hit he
r, she would never have seen that light. The shaky memory of almost not being here rubbed like Velcro against the sense that she was here at this minute in time, still breathing, still thinking. A middle-aged man walked past her on his way to his own car and she watched him without curiosity. She had been changed by the morning, she could hardly describe how, only that now everything seemed brighter and sharper, more urgent. She took out her mobile and made a call.

  ‘Hello, Paul?’ she said to his answering machine. ‘It’s Grace here. I thought you’d like to know that I’ve just talked to Matthew. He’s not good but he’s okay, I guess. He’s better than he was, which is something. I’m going to come and see him tomorrow as well. Anyway, I thought — if you wanted to — maybe you’d like to catch up with me some time. Since we’re not working together any more, maybe we could go and have coffee or something. If you want to see me. Why don’t you call? Up to you. Bye now.’

  Yes, it’s up to you, Paul. If you want me or my company, you can call me. Otherwise life was too short, just as Louise had said. Grace drove back to her flat, too exhausted to think of sleeping, ferociously hungry, jangled in her mind and no good for anything except solitude.

  It took Harrigan longer than usual to get to Cotswold House, the traffic had been caught in a grid caused by uprooted trees and stranded cars. Susie greeted him at the door.

  ‘Toby’s waiting for you,’ she said. ‘He hasn’t eaten yet. We thought you might want to eat with him. Would you like to do that?’

  ‘A meal would be a life-saver just now, Susie,’ he said. ‘Thanks.’

  She smiled and was gone.

  When Harrigan walked into Toby’s room, he was at his computer, surfing between news outlets.

  Hi dad

  ‘Hi, Toby. How are you?’

  I’m ok Wot about u??

  ‘I’ve felt better, mate. I’m glad the day is over and I’m still here to talk about it, and that just about everyone else is too,’ he replied.

  He stood behind Toby, massaging his son’s shoulders, relaxing his own shoulders as he did so.

  ‘You’ve heard all about it, haven’t you?’

  Yeah amp; Louise mailed m 2

  ‘Yeah, I asked her to do that.’

  Wot happens in gaol dad???

  ‘Nothing very nice,’ he said, frowning a little. ‘Nothing we can do anything about just now.’

  Is it like being me???? Being locked up like that???

  ‘I don’t know, Toby. All I can tell you is there’s nothing weak about that girl. She can look after herself and I’m sure she will. I don’t know if gaol is going to be too much different to the life she was living.’

  He thought she would still be in the same space, just between four walls.

  It has 2 be different dad Coz she won’t be able 2 move The wholecity was where she used 2 live Do u think she can talk 2 me from gaol???

  ‘We can try and organise something for you if that’s what you want.

  You still want to do that? I can help you. I’ll do what I can.’

  Yeah I want 2 talk 2 her If she’s locked up I can help her throughit I know wot it feels like 2 be locked up like that I can talk 2 her There was silence. Harrigan’s hands worked at the muscle of his son’s shoulders until Toby gave him a little shake to say stop. He stood looking at the screen over his son’s shoulder.

  I don’t see the point dad Gaol I mean Is it going 2 prove anything4 Lucy 2 be there?????

  Harrigan smiled, more from exhaustion than anything else.

  ‘No, mate, it’s not,’ he replied. ‘It’s not going to prove anything and it’s not going to change anything either. But right now, it’s all that’s going to happen. Maybe she’ll change in time, that’s up to her. But she knew, Toby. She knew exactly what was going to happen today.

  Maybe she’ll talk to you about it.’

  She will She’s always honest with me U can’t say she wasn’t

  ‘No, that’s true, she was. And that is something she is. She doesn’t lie. Do you want to eat now? I’m famished.’

  Yeah

  They ate in the dining room. Susie joined them, helping him to feed Toby, talking with them. They did not mention the day’s events.

  Afterwards, he helped put Toby to bed, settling his son down into some physical comfort. Harrigan was too stressed to stop and rest himself. Susie offered him coffee but he refused, needing something stronger. He drove to a bar in the city, a place he went sometimes when he needed the paradox of solitude in company. Here, he drank two neat whiskies quickly. Out of force of habit, he called in to check his voice messages, to see if there was anything he needed to know about.

  The barman appeared in front of him just as he hung up.

  ‘Another one?’ he asked.

  ‘No, thanks,’ Harrigan replied. ‘That’ll do me.’

  Outside in the car park he rang her, but her mobile was turned off and he did not want to talk to her answering machine. He stood beside his car with his hands on his hips, thinking for some moments. ‘Why not?’ he said to himself and then drove to an all-night chemist where he bought mouthwash, something he loathed, and rinsed until he thought the taste and smell of whisky was gone. He drove to Bondi, through a city still littered with the effects of the morning’s storm, houses with broken roofs and windows, barriers fixed around holes in the roads. He parked in the street outside her block of flats. There was a light on in the unit he guessed would be hers, but when he rang the buzzer no one answered. Various thoughts — that she had other company or did not want to talk to anyone just then, least of all him

  — went through his mind. He was close to turning away when a young, blonde woman arrived at the door, a keycard in hand.

  ‘Do you think you could let me in?’ he said, and showed her his warrant card. ‘I need to talk to one of the tenants but I can’t get an answer on the buzzer. I know they’re in there.’

  ‘No one’s in any trouble, are they?’

  She spoke with a European accent and he guessed she was a backpacker, passing through.

  ‘No, this is just information.’

  ‘I guess it’s all right,’ she said with a slow smile and opened the door. She glanced at him when he stopped at Grace’s door.

  ‘Gracie’s in her music, that’s why she can’t hear you,’ she said. ‘But if you ring that buzzer, it’ll light up on her wall. You have to wait until she notices you.’

  ‘Thanks,’ he said, willing her gone.

  ‘I’m up here, if you don’t have any luck,’ she said with a grin and disappeared.

  He rang the door bell, wondering how long this might take, but shortly afterwards he heard the security chain being unfastened. She opened the door to him.

  ‘Hi,’ she said, ‘how did you get into the building? I didn’t hear you ring.’

  ‘This young German girl let me in. She turned up while I was at the door.’

  ‘Bennie? I’ll have to talk to her. She’s not supposed to do that. Do you want to come in?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  He stepped into a small flat where everything needed for living was on display. Several CDs and a set of headphones were lying on a small couch. He tried not to look at the wide bed with its bright coverlet under the window.

  ‘Do you want something to drink? I’m afraid I don’t have anything alcoholic.’

  ‘No, just some water will do, thanks, Grace.’

  They stood awkwardly side by side in the tiny kitchen while he drank a glass of water.

  ‘How are you?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m okay, I think. I keep finding it hard to believe it really happened. I sit there and I start thinking, is this true? Then I shake my head and I think, yes, it’s true and I’m still here. How are you?’

  ‘Me?’ He stopped for a moment. ‘That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Telling everyone it was finished like that. I built that team up from nothing. They asked me to come back from a little country town to do just that. Now they’ve thrown it aw
ay. They didn’t even give it a second thought.’

  ‘Why not give it to Trev? He could have done it.’

  ‘Why do you think? No, it’s not even that really. No, this is them giving Marvin his little bit of blood on the way through. Just so I know I’m not getting something for nothing. Forget it. I didn’t come here to cry on your shoulder.’

  ‘That’s okay,’ she said. ‘I didn’t expect to see you. Not so soon anyway.’

  ‘Well, I’m here.’

  He put the empty glass down on the kitchen bench. He felt a wave of exhaustion roll over him.

  ‘I don’t know why I’m bothering you, Grace. I’m a dead man.’

  ‘Do you want to stay? Dead or alive?’

  ‘If you want me to.’

  ‘Do you want to go to bed in that case? It’s getting late and I’m pretty wiped out myself.’

  She pulled back the covers on the bed and then gave him a clothes hanger for his suit while she disappeared into the bathroom. He hoped she would not come out to see him half-dressed in shirt and socks as he slipped jacket and trousers into the wardrobe between her spangled, shiny dresses and workday outfits. He got into bed and waited. She reappeared and undressed, tossing her clothes into the laundry basket. He watched her.

  ‘You’re lovely,’ he said.

  ‘Am I?’

  She shook back her hair and lay down beside him.

  ‘You don’t have to say it. It doesn’t matter if I am or I’m not,’ she said.

  It mattered to him although he did not say this. He stroked her face and wondered why she did not take more pleasure from the way she looked. It might have occurred to both of them that they had not so much as kissed each other yet. He would have done so but his fatigue was overpowering. He lay beside her and slept. He did not even remember her turning out the light.

  When he woke later, he saw by the illuminated clock that it was just after four in the morning. He got out of bed and went to the bathroom, staring at his face in the cabinet mirror as he flushed the toilet. He thought that he looked better than he should have expected to and perhaps there was life after death. If you had not been asked (or chosen) to leave straightaway, this was the time in the morning when you did it. Dressing quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed to do up your shoelaces, saying goodbye as the other person stirs, arriving home at five in the morning with enough time for a shower and a shave, a clean shirt and possibly even some breakfast before going to work.