Two Sides of Me

by Nora Sarel

  “When? Where?” she asked.

  “Next year in Tel Aviv,” Liam intervened.

  “Who asked you?” she was angry.

  “Does he owe you anything? Why are you being such a leech?” Liam kept teasing.

  “It’s really none of your business,” Gadi said to him and hugged Adi just to demonstratively.

  Ami was sad to see Gadi, Ido and Omri leave so suddenly. However, it was even harder for him to let Liam, who had become his right hand, go. He was chivalrous, though, when he understood how things had unfolded, and that they needed Liam as a translator and guide who knew the customs of the land. He helped them find cheap tickets and chose a well-equipped tourist bus, few of which existed in the public transportation system. Ami also remembered to call the hostel in Olinda, nearby Recife, and ask his friends to give the guys a comfortable room in the pousada in front of the “Nossa Senhora do Carmo” - Our Lady of Mount Carmel.

  Adi asked to join them and refused to understand why they had to leave so fast. “What’s the rush?” she repeated this question like a mantra. Ami insisted she would stay to help him, and if she wanted, she could join them once they found a replacement for her.

  “You can’t leave me alone,” he claimed, and Adi reluctantly agreed. People were preparing for the carnival, no backpackers were passing through southern Brazil, especially not Curitiba. Everyone was heading towards the northern-east and Rio de Janeiro, where the special and beautiful carnivals took place.

  “What will happen if you don’t find someone to replace Liam and myself?” Adi cried.

  “We will,” Ami reassured her, “you’ll see, it’ll be fine. You’ll dance at the carnival in Olinda,” he promised.

  “Depending on which carnival you mean, this year’s or…” she couldn’t complete her sentence. She chocked with tears and disappeared into her room. When she came back to her desk they had already left. She was overtaken by a forlorn sense of longing.

  CHAPTER 15

  Despite taking four days and three nights, their bus ride was a somewhat corrective experience. They drove through breathtaking scenery, along the east coastline. Through their windows they could see the was of the Atlantic Ocean stroking the cities stretched on its coast. The driver decided that one of their stops would be at Vitoria, a city north of Rio de Janeiro. Liam decided to take advantage of the opportunity before arriving at Bahia and hesitantly offered what he had planned for them during the long ride,

  “Look, in a couple of hours we’ll reach a place called Porto Seguro. There we can take a ferry to the Arraial d’Ajuda island. It would be a shame to miss it, it’s a gorgeous place and a lot of Israelis stay there before the carnival. We’ll stay there for a week or two and then head to Recife and Olinda, what do you say?”

  They kept silent, so Liam went on, “If we don’t go now, we won’t go at all. There’s no way we’re coming back, come on, make a decision, lighten up,” Omri and Ido waited for Gadi to decide.

  “We won’t even have to pay for the bus tickets. We’ll just use the ones we have two weeks later, we’re not losing them,” he kept trying to convince them. The temptation was too big, but they waited for Gadi to speak.

  “Maybe,” he said casually, as if this trip wasn’t so important to him.

  “Maybe yes or maybe no?” Omri and Ido wanted a definite answer.

  “I waited this long, I can wait another week. I also need a break from this rollercoaster,” Gadi explained himself.

  They were greatly relieved.

  When the bus approached Porto Seguro’s welcome sign, they got off and stood at the crossroads with their backpacks at their feet. The sun was blazing and the silence terrifying. They couldn’t see a living soul and didn’t know where to go or what to do next. “Hello! Is there anybody here?!” Liam yelled aloud, not expecting a response. However, it was then that they heard a vehicle rattling. Searching for the source of the noise, they spotted a motor scooter emerging from a cloud of smoke. The rider drove closer and stopped next to their pile of backpacks.

  “Is this for real?” Gadi called, “Come see, its Yoav from high school!”

  They looked closely at the person whom Gadi had identified as Yoav and couldn’t believe their own eyes.

  “Hey, what are you doing here? Is this a high school reunion?” Yoav asked.

  “We were just passing by,” Omri replied and they all laughed.

  “So, welcome to the Israelis’ paradise.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Mostly resting during daytime and having a good time at night. We dance all day and get high,” Yoav said and turned his scooter the other way.

  “So, what? Are there a lot of Israelis here?” Gadi asked.

  “Everybody’s here. Do you remember Lovely Efrat, Guy’s girlfriend? She’s here, too.”

  “Is Guy with her?”

  “No, but she said he’ll join her once he’s discharged from the army. Sima the redhead is here too, and Fat Ari. Basically, anyone you can think of.”

  “What, only Israelis come to Ajuda?”

  “Not at all. People come from all over the world, but the Israelis stick around longer, for a month or two,” he replied as if he were an experienced resident. He then offered, “Come with me, I’ll show you where you can get a room. Actually, you know what? Wait here, I’ll go grab a taxi for you,” he started his noisy scooter and disappeared into a haze of dust and smoke.

  “Did you see how confident he has become?” Ido said.

  “People hardly spoke to him in high school and here he’s acting out” Omri wondered and explained to Liam. “We used to call him ‘wall-kid’ because he kept walking close to the walls, as if he wanted them to hide him. He was a kid without a drop of self-confidence.”

  “Sometimes when people move to a different place it boosts their self-esteem. Maybe because no one is aware of the stigmas from high school,” Ido expressed his opinion. As usual, Liam summed things up, “Arraial d’Ajuda is the ultimate place to build up self-esteem in those who lack it. This place does wonders, even to your personality!”

  “I guess there’s something to it,” Gadi agreed.

  When Yoav came back and stopped his scooter next to them, they no longer spoke about him, and changed the subject back to Porto Sequro and Arraial d’Ajuda. The hot sun couldn’t stop the tropical rain from suddenly pouring. They followed Yoav with their backpacks hoping their much-awaited taxi would arrive soon.

  “When is soon?”

  “It will come, don’t worry, in the meantime let’s start walking.”

  “The way to Arraial d’Ajuda is a bit inconvenient but not hard at all,” Yoav explained.

  “First, we’ll get to the nearby city, Porto Seguro. There, we’ll find a taxi to Seguro’s small port, and from there we’ll take a ferry or boat to Arraial d’Ajuda. When we get off it, we’ll take a bus or one of those funny white transits, called transitocollectivo, to downtown and from there it’s a two-minute walk to the beach.”

  They followed Yoav’s instructions. The two-minute walk he had told them about, was in fact a long uncomfortable rocky hike. When they reached the soft sand, merging with the waves, they immediately rested under a palm-leaf hut and drank cool cerveja Brahma, the Brazilian beer.

  “Yoav and I will go looking for a place to settle in. Until we find something, you guys stay here on the beach,” Liam said.

  “Let’s stay here at least a month,” Gadi suggested without even being asked.

  “I wish, but we can’t. We want to get to the carnival in Olinda,” they replied.

  The little house they rented was on a hill sloping to the beach. The house’s shades were blue and when opened, the boys could see the boats and waves. They could also hear the music playing at the beach and if they stood on their tiptoes, they could see the swimmers on the Arraial d’Ajuda beach.


  Gadi lay on a hammock tied between two wooden poles supporting the roof of the porch. The rest sat stretched on the torn straw chairs. Yoav urged them, not giving them time to get ready. He invited them to join him on ‘Broadway’ and ‘Fifth Avenue.’ “That’s what we call them. I’m not even sure if that’s what they’re really called. Everyone gathers by the fruits and juice stand at about four or five PM, eats and then plans the rest of the evening.”

  The square in front of the church was packed with Israeli backpackers, and Yoav, who wouldn’t leave their sight, explained, “can you see that guy, who’s wearing a T-shirt saying ‘Officer Armored Unit course, 1998’? he’s been in Ajuda for a year and I don’t think he’s about to leave any time soon. Usually people come here before the carnival and then leave after it, or they come here after the carnival and stay until they’re fed up.”

  “Look at that one, she’s beautiful,” Gadi said and glanced at one of the girls standing there.

  “That’s it, you’ve already forgotten Adi?” Liam teased him and immediately ruined the pleasant atmosphere.

  “Why are you sticking your nose in other people’s business again?” Omri tried to save Gadi from the embarrassment. “He doesn’t owe her anything. He just said that girl was hot, he can’t do that either?” Ido continued.

  “You don’t need to answer for me. I don’t need to explain myself, especially not to him, it’s none of his business. I know he’s dying to be with Adi, but it won’t happen,” Gadi said to Omri, Ido and Yoav, completely ignoring Liam.

  “Who told you that?” Liam jumped, but Gadi ignored him and started walking to the juice stand.

  “Wait, Adi told you that, right?” Liam asked again, begging for an answer.

  “Why do you ask? Did something happen between you?” Omri questioned Liam, who then blushed.

  “She wouldn’t even give me a chance, but she hit it off immediately with that Brazilian guy.”

  “Hey, too far,” Omri pushed him.

  “You’re lucky Gadi didn’t hear that,” Ido said and looked at Gadi who stood by the stand.

  “Cinco sucos de abacaxi por favor – five pineapple juice, please,” Gadi asked the vendor. When the juices were ready, he grabbed all five cups, like an experienced waiter and crossed the road, so he can give Ido, Omri, Yoav and Liam the juice – a peace offering to end their silly disagreement.

  “Lechaim,” Yoav said, understanding the gang needed encouragement, just as a good coach would say to his team before a big game.

  “Lechaim!” they replied and all the Israelis around them called lechaim back.

  The next day, when they woke up at noon, the disagreement seemed to have never happened. All the Israeli backpackers gathered again at the square in front of the church, to plan their evening and share their experiences from last night. Some were standing but most were sitting in a circle. One of the girls, who wore a gallabiyah, told them about the Bahjano who came to her room and wouldn’t leave, even though she begged him saying she wanted to sleep. Only when she showed him what she had learned in her army training, did he leave. Another Israeli told of how his camera was stolen, while another, wearing a bathing suit, described the types of drugs that made him forget all that had happened.

  “Maybe we should move to Porto Seguro?” Liam suggested. “Let’s go,” they all agreed and started walking to the ferry that would take them to the town where all bars were packed with tourist from around the world.

  In one of Porto Seguro’s inlets, right on the beach, four fat men were sitting next to a filthy broken wooden table. They were drinking beer, its froth smeared on their lips, some spilled on their shirts. They spoke in loud German and kept laughing. There were a lot of flies circulating them, but they circulated weren’t bothered and kept on. Every now and then one of them spat the beer out because he couldn’t laugh and drink at the same time.

  “Disgusting drunks,” Liam said, making his friends stop and look.

  A little girl was dancing next to them. She was wearing a tight shirt and her short skirt exposed her underwear. She moved her body enthusiastically as if saying, take me, touch me, do as you please, but don’t forget to pay.

  The intoxicated tourists weren’t indifferent to the prancing girl, they touched her breast buds and roared with laughter. They stroked her bouncing buttocks and licked the beer on their lips, placing their meaty hands between her slender legs each in turn. The girl, despite her act of seduction, didn’t seem at all happy with their touch. With every brush, she shut her eyes and shrank, yet kept on dancing to the music playing from an old stereo.

  “She wants it just as they do,” Liam muttered.

  “She doesn’t have a choice, she needs the money,” Omri tried justifying her actions.

  “How can you say such a thing?! Can’t you see?!” Gadi was appalled by Liam’s response, “It’s torturing her, she’s repulsed! Miserable girl!”

  It wasn’t long before she started taking off her clothes. She unbuttoned her shirt slowly but didn’t take it off. Her tiny dark body was exposed, at times the open blouse covering it, and at others opening wide. She didn’t expose anything more than her nipples, even darker than her body. The music stopped abruptly, and she approached the stereo to rewind the tape. Then, one of the drunks stood up and shoved a 10-real bill into her underwear, pulling her with his other hand into the backyard.

  “What’s happening now?” Gadi asked, worried, “She’s so tiny, and he’s so big.”

  “She’s a prostitute, didn’t you get that?” Liam answered impatiently.

  “Shut up, you’re a heartless person who can’t express sympathy towards other people, it’s better if you just shut up, I don’t want to hear you!”

  “Look how young she is, a baby, she doesn’t even have breasts. How can that German guy do this to her?!” Omri said in contempt.

  “He doesn’t care about her,” Liam said angrily, “that’s why he’s here. Do you know how many German and Scandinavian tourists come to Brazil to sleep with little girls? Watch the news, they’re constantly talking about sex tourism.”

  “How can the Brazilian government let this happen?”

  “What are you talking about? Do you know how many street kids are walking around Brazil? Didn’t you see in Rio? In Curitiba? The government recently managed to take some of them off the streets, but there are still enough kids who don’t have money, so they sell their body to earn it.”

  “Do you think the girls in the shelter in Curitiba were also prostitutes?” Gadi asked.

  “Positive,” Liam answered decisively, and Gadi choked.

  They were still talking when the girl reappeared, the man, swaying intoxicated behind and holding his pants so they wouldn’t fall. Her face didn’t reveal what had happened in the backyard. She went straight to the stereo and restarted the tape, as if nothing had happened. When the music played again, she nonchalantly climbed on a nearby table and danced on it. The German group kept drinking and laughing, especially when seeing their friend who still couldn’t zip up his pants, which eventually fell.

  The girl kept on dancing, ignoring what was happening around her, not even a slight smile on her face. Then one of the Germans stood up, yelled something in his language and his friends cheered. He clung onto the table on which the girl was dancing, took out a bill and just as his friend had done, shoved it down her underwear. His crude fingers lingered, it seemed they were being shoved even deeper.

  “I’m going to stop this,” Gadi said aloud.

  “You’re not going to do anything. No one in this bar is interfering, so you want to save the world and get us into trouble?” Liam stopped him.

  “But look, he’s raping her in front of everyone!” Gadi yelled.

  “It’s none of your business. If you go there, they’ll kill you, can’t you see they’re on drugs?!” Liam said and turned to leave, the other boys followin
g his lead.

  “He’s right,” Yoav told Gadi. “That’s how it is, I see it every day, it’s one big brothel, this is only a drop in a bucket.”

  Gadi moved far away. If his dream to find his mother didn’t depend on Liam, he would have spat in his face and walked away. His words ‘she wants it, she’s a prostitute’, made his heart bleed. He felt that these mean words raped the girl once again. He was shaken for several hours.

  “Today’s my birthday,” Gadi told Rita, whom he had met two hours before on the Porto Seguro beach. It was the most beautiful beach in the world, as beautiful as Rita. It seemed he had known her from before, and he felt the need to share with her the fact that he was born 22 years ago, at this exact same time, 4 PM. It took her some time to understand what he had said in his broken Portuguese, and when she did she yelled with genuine excitement, “Parabéns, congratulations,” she kissed him passionately. Her lips were as warm as the ocean’s water, and her chocolate body moved like the waves.

  No Israeli girl could move her body like that, he thought, and why do I feel so close to her? Why am I drawn to her? Does she know I’m Brazilian, too?

  For a moment he had forgotten everything. They lay on the soft sand under a coconut tree, hugging, caressing and touching one another, as if the world stood still. She sang to him, her voice merged with the light breeze. She sang in Portuguese to the ‘Happy Birthday’ melody,

  “Parabénspra você

  Nesta data querida

  Muitas felicidades

  Muitos anos da vida!”

  Rita spoke to him only in Portuguese, because it was the only language she knew. He had already learned the language so he could translate the lyrics,

  “Congratulations to you

  For this important day

  A lot of happiness

  And years of life”

  He joined her in Portuguese and thanked her for the celebration.

  “Como a em Hebraico? – how is it in Hebrew?” she asked. “Eu não sei – I don’t know,” he replied, and realized he didn’t know the Hebrew lyrics to this song.