Two Sides of Me

by Nora Sarel

  The realized later it was Anna-Maria who had sent them on a journey together.

  The hours slowly went by and the central square in the ancient city of Salvador, Praca da Se, began filling up again, until nothing but a sea of people could be seen. This meant night was falling and the carnival was about to restart. The restaurant owners packed their tables and chairs. Eventually, the four had to give up their table, too. The pavements shook again with the music blasting from the trucks driving far from them, on the main road. On the stage, which was located right in front of them, sat a band. A dark man wearing a buttoned-down red shirt and a black bolero hat, stood in the middle of the stage and encouraged the crowd, who responded with waving arms and legs. It was hot in Bahia and the sweat trickled down. However, they were already on their way to the hotel, trying to escape the carnival’s commotion.

  CHAPTER 21

  As Gadi and Bernardo approached the capital city, the earth became red and the roads sparkled. Gadi was wondering whether it was his imagination or his eyes played tricks on him, however, when the bus passed by the city Cristalina, Bernardo told Gadiit was built on layers of crystals, to which the city owed its name. Till this day, by simply brushing a thin layer of sand, one could find crystals. “It really is a sparkling city,” Bernardo went on, “which is why the roads are so sparkly, because the sand they used to pave it is full of quartz.”

  Their friendship grew tighter. It began seeping in, the realization they were blood brothers, full brothers, awoke a sense of companionship and solidarity. Each examined and searched for himself in the other. They were constantly thinking about how different their fates were. They had the need to make up for lost time yet felt they had been together forever. During the 25-hour drive they shared their different life stories, laughed and cried together. Gadi told Bernardo of his military service, Tamar, Adi, about Omri and Ido, and especially about his parents and Grandma Zipora. Bernardo told him of their siblings who stayed behind, of his deep desire to study and of Ines, who was his girlfriend before they were separated by a terrible accident. They spoke in Portuguese, which Gadinow spoke well; even his accent didn’t reveal him being a foreigner, it was almost unnecessary repeating things for him. He surprised himself.

  “Do you think Francisco would even talk to us?” Bernardo asked.

  “Do you think he’s still married to Zelia the witch?”

  “I think we should have taken Nessia with us, if he saw her, he would have immediately realized what was going on here. But when he sees us, he might not understand why we’re together. He knows I’m in Israel,” Gadi shared with Bernardo his doubts of their success.

  “She said he was an important man, perhaps he’s an actor?”

  “Why does it even matter? We just want to see the man who’s responsible for me being given away, you growing up without a father and Nessia having a messed-up life. We share his genes,” Gadi said coolly.

  “I’m actually very intrigued about him. Maybe you’re not concerned because you have a family in Israel, but I don’t have any other father. I would really like for us to know each other.”

  “I want to meet him too, but I doubt it would happen. I went searching for a mother and never dreamed of having siblings, and yet, I found you. I didn’t even imagine finding my father. I’m trying to lower my expectations so that I don’t get disappointed.”

  “Look, you have a normal mom, and mine – you already realized she’s not a great mother, so maybe my dad is,” Bernardo painfully said.

  A silence fell after this excited back and forth, it dissolved into the silent bus since most of its passengers were either pretending or actually asleep.

  “I have so many questions,” Gadi suddenly said.

  “Me too,” Bernardo added and then continued, “what questions do you have?”

  “Sometimes I ask myself how did a guy like find himself at a voodoo ceremony?”

  “Everyone goes to the Macumba here, I wanted to see what it was. I’ve been looking for answers for a long time and thought I would find them there.”

  “It didn’t just happen, there are no coincidences,” Gadi tried rearranging his thoughts, “how could you have never asked about your father?”

  “I asked many times and she lied,” Bernardo explained and apologized to Gadi. “Maybe if I would have dug deeper, I could have gotten more information but I accepted what she said as the absolute truth, I didn’t dare shake the fragile balance of our lives. The four of us realized we didn’t share a father and when we asked about each one’s individual father, she lied. All and all, a lot of my friends have similar stories, so we weren’t so quick to dig into our pasts. I took on the role of the father and took care of my brothers while Anna-Maria helped. How could I have known about you? Maybe I just couldn’t handle the truth.”

  It was quiet again. They both looked around and examined the passengers. It seemed this silence, which had crept into the bus, was caused by everyone listening to their conversation, anticipating.

  “Now I want to ask you something.” Bernardo took his turn. “Do you talk to your parents in Israel?”

  “I talk to them almost every day and if we don’t speak, we text. They know everything.”

  “Did you tell them about me?”

  “Yes, I told them about you and Nessia. They’re happy I found her, and especially happy I found you. They encouraged me to look for our dad, Francisco,” he carefully chose his words and felt uncomfortable using them. “They even spoke to their friend, Leo, who is an Israeli military attaché located in Brasilia, so he could help us.”

  “Yes, but what did you tell them about me?”

  “Everything. They also suggested I invite you over for a visit in Israel and asked me to give Nessia some money.”

  “That’s what they suggested? Don’t they know that no matter how much they gave her, she would never have enough, especially not for her children.”

  “They feel sorry for her.”

  “Aren’t they afraid you’ll stay here?”

  “Although it’s hard for them, they believe in themselves and me. I’m their son.”

  “I envy you,” Bernardo said with an undertone of sadness.

  “Are we close to Brasilia?” Gadi asked after a few long moments of silence.

  “Yes, look, the earth here is different than ours in Pernambuco, it’s practically red. Can you see those little hills? These are termite hills – these are their nests. Sometimes they build them on trees, too,” Bernardo explained to Gadi, who was trying to take in all these sights.

  The bus stopped abruptly, and the driver announced they were now close to Brasilia with only half an hour left. However, the engine has overheated, and he had to stop for it to cool down. No passenger complained nor protested. Slowly, all walked into the wasteland, to stretch out their stiff legs. Bernardo and Gadidid the same.

  “You know,” Gadi told Bernardo, “if this happened in Israel, everyone would complain and get angry, but here, I haven’t heard a single word against the bus or the driver. Everybody’s so angry in Israel”

  It was twilight and the earth had an orange hue.

  “Look,” Bernardo said to Gadi, “there’s Mammy Coruja and her children.”

  “What are you talking about? what mammy?” Gadi asked.

  “Look, next to the tall termite nest, there’s a bird family on the ground. What do you call these birds in English?”

  “Owls,” Gadi replied.

  “We call them Mammy Coruja, do you know why? Because they’re so ugly, especially their goslings, yet their mother loves them unconditionally, as if pronouncing to the world that to her, they were beautiful. She takes pride in them. This is why she is called in Brazil Mammy Coruja – courageous mother. When we mean to say that someone loves their children unconditionally, we say they are Mammy Coruja.”

  “My mother is Mammy Coruja,” Gad
i said and smiled while thinking of Dafne.

  “Sadly, I can’t say that about my mother,” Bernardo whispered.

  They arrived at Brasilia at nighttime. Leo wasn’t waiting for them at the central station so Gadi called to see what happened.

  “He left a while ago to pick you up from the central station,” his wife, Orit, told Gadi, “maybe he made a mistake and went to another station?” she asked both them and herself. “You know what? I don’t want you waiting at night, take a cab and come over to our place – Q.E. FIVE CONJUNTO SIXTEEN CASA ELEVEN.”

  They entered the city and drove by flower beds, green avenues and well-lit roads with very few cars. “It looks nothing like a city. I’ve already been to a few cities in Brazil, and they don’t look even slightly similar,” Gadi said to Bernardo.

  “True,” he replied, “Brasilia looks nothing like Recife or Salvador, and definitely not Rio. It’s a newer and designed city. Usually diplomats and government personnel live here. It’s not as violent as the rest of Brazil, poverty is not as visible. It was founded forty years ago by the president, who made it our capital.”

  “It looks to me like a rustic village,” Gadi responded.

  They crossed a wide bright bridge stretching over a large lake. After crossing from one bank to another, they entered a luxurious villas neighborhood. On one of the smaller side streets, Leo’s wife waited for them.

  She quickly paid the driver and led them through an impressive entryway surrounded by palm trees and fresh lively Begonias, blooming with all their glory by the garden lights.

  They were taken to a bedroom which had been prepared for them, to get ready for a celebratory dinner which was already waiting.

  “Is it all for us?” Bernardo asked, and couldn’t hide his wonder. “You know, I have never slept in such a room.”

  “Not even at the hotel you work in?”

  “We have rooms like these at the hotel, but what does that have anything to do with me? They don’t let their employees sleep in them, I could only dream of a room like this.”

  “I have a similar room in Israel, but don’t forget that I’m an only child and my parents go above and beyond for me,” Gadi replied, and immediately regretted having said that as to not awaken his brother’s envy and emphasize their differences.

  “Do you also have your own a shower in Israel?” Bernardo inquired.

  “Yes, I have a shower that’s just mine,” Gadi embarrassedly said.

  “Are your parents rich?”

  “You could say they are well off,” Gadi tried explaining without bragging and evoking unnecessary competitiveness.

  “‘Well off’ is good enough,” was his reply.

  “Come on, let’s take a shower,” he urged Bernardo who was still astounded by the luxuries that had fallen to him.

  They stood with pleasure under the stream of water dripping on their bodies, breathing in the smell of soap, laughing as they compared one’s uncircumcised member with the other’s circumcised one. Bickering over which towel will caress whose body, and only after an hour sitting to have dinner, squeaky-clean and perfumed. When Leo arrived, it turned out his wife was right and he had been waiting at a different station.

  On the beautifully organized and full table, they could see hummus, pitas and falafels.

  “I can’t believe it, where did you get this from?” Gadi expressed his joy, and before Orit could answer he turned to Bernardo and explained to him about Israeli food, and how people eat hummus.

  “Put your fork and knife away and see how I eat, like so.”

  Bernardo smiled but imitated Gadi successfully.

  “This reminds me of home more than anything. Every Friday, when I would come home from the army for the weekend, my dad would wait for me in the kitchen with fresh pitas and hummus. Together we would wipe the plate clean,” Gadi said with a sense of longing. “When you come to Israel, I’ll take you to the market and buy falafel, it’s real fun,” he said and licked his lips hungrily.

  “What’s it called? Rummus?” Bernardo inquired.

  “Repeat after me, h-hhh-hummus,” Gadi taught Bernardo Hebrew pronunciation.

  “You can find hummus and pitas in Brazil because there’s a big Arabic community, especially Lebanese, but they call their pita ‘pao arabe,’”,’” Orit explained, Bernardo agreed.

  “And the falafel?” Gadi asked.

  “Rosa skillfully makes those.”

  “I’ll ask her to make hummus and falafel every day, OK?”

  Leo urged Gadi to finish his nostalgic stories about Israeli food so he could lay out his plans to them. He had already done some research before they had and made a list of 378 residents in Brasilia who were called Francisco de Oliveira.

  “How many residents are there in Brasilia that so many have this name?” Gadi chuckled.

  “About two million, but if we take Brasilia’s satellite towns into account, the number is four million residents. I made a list only of people from the city itself. So, finding three hundred and seventy-eight residents under that name among two million people, is not at all strange. Especially considering it’s a combination of two very popular Brazilian names, it’s like we have ‘Cohen,’ “Leo explained.

  “Do you know what is Francisco’s wife’s name? maybe it would make our search easier?” he asked.

  “Yes,” they both answered, “Zelia.” “I suggest we call each and every individual on the list and ask who has a wife named Zelia and whether or not they have children. I suggest Bernardo does the talking because his Portuguese is better and won’t arouse any suspicion.”

  “Maybe I should introduce myself as someone from the Ministry of the Interior, from the census? Otherwise people won’t cooperate with me,” Bernardo thought out loud.

  “I don’t care how you introduce yourselves, but keep in mind you’re breaking the law, it’s fraud. It’s true that this way you’ll get more information, but let’s hope no one catches you because I really don’t want to get in trouble. Don’t forget I’m an official Israeli representative.

  “Do you know that the two of you really look alike?” Orit suddenly said.

  “Look alike?” both jumped.

  “Yes, you have the same smile, and even when you speak, your face moves in a similar way.”

  They inspected one another. “Smile,” Gadi asked and stared at the corner of Bernardo’s lips. “Now say something, I want to see it, too,” Bernardo asked, and they both burst out laughing.

  The conversation was fluent and for a moment, it was hard to tell who was Israeli and who was Brazilian.

  “Now we’ll say goodnight and see you tomorrow at nine, here at the dining area, OK?” Orit suggested. “Would seven hours of sleep be enough?”

  CHAPTER 22

  “Good morning,” Orit and Leo greeted them. They sat around the dining table, the dishes changed and so did the menu. The room was bright thanks to joyous rays of sun.

  “I’m going to the embassy now, I need to work,” Leo said with authority. “But you can stay here, the phone is at your disposal. I already gave you the list, now all you need to do is start calling.”

  “Si, senhor,” they both replied.

  “See? you’re even talking together, like twins,” Orit tried emphasizing what she had said the other day.

  “If we need any help, how can we find you?” Gadi asked.

  “And if we want to tour the city?” Bernardo inquired.

  “If at any point you choose to stop and want to go sightseeing, or consult me, you can always call and I’ll be glad to help. I’m at the office and that’s my phone number over there.”

  “I’m also going to work at the embassy. Only Rosa, our housekeeper, will be here.” Orit added.

  “Rosa, come please,” Leo interrupted her, “Bernardo, Gadi – this is Rosa. She’ll be happy to help you within t
he limits of her responsibilities; food, laundry and cleaning.”

  “She’s very shy,” Orit intervened, but Leo spoke again. “But if you’ll be nice to her, she’ll open up to you, right?” he turned to Rosa, who stood beside him and giggled.

  “Goodbye and have a nice day,” Leo and Orit said, both disappearing into the armored car.

  “Oh, and I almost forgot,” Leo’s head peeked out the window, “we have a swimming pool, you can swim if you like, bye.”

  “Sim senhor.”

  When they heard the car drive away, Rosa’s shyness disappeared too, “Everyone in Brasilia has a swimming pool because the air is too dry and needs moistening. The swimming pool water dampens the air. Would you like me to show you the rest of the house?” she offered without taking a breath.

  “Ok,” they agreed.

  “It’s a huge house, it has ten rooms or so.” She appraised it.

  “Did I tell you that I believe sometimes dreams come true?” Bernardo said to Gadi, “my biggest dream is to live in a house just like this, with a swimming pool.”

  They practiced their script, “Good morning, this is Bernardo speaking from the Ministry of the Interior. I am conducting a census and would like to know what is the name of the home owners… as well as how many children are there in the family… thank you and goodbye.”

  They were hoping this type of address would be answered easily. Bernardo sat on one side of the table holding the phone, and on the other was Gadi who wrote down on a yellow legal pad all their findings. For a moment it reminded him of Tamara, but he was strong enough not to brood on it, quickly removing her from his thoughts.

  He felt stronger now that he knew he had a real brother. Every now and then, when he would glance at Bernardo talking over the phone, it seemed they have known each other forever, he had even imagined they grew up together. Bernardo had become a part of him and he had no doubt in mind they would keep in touch, no matter what side of the ocean either of them lived. My lost brother had been found, he thought.