Her Hometown Hero

by Melody Anne

  Sage tried desperately not to yell, not to cry, not to feel this all-consuming rage. It wasn’t working. She was pissed and sad, and felt wretchedly vulnerable. She wanted Spence to leave, and she wanted him to hold her. Ultimately, she really didn’t know what she wanted.

  “Come on. Let’s get you out of this cold,” Spence said, his voice still low and level.

  She allowed him to lead her off, and when they got to his pickup, she panicked. She didn’t want to be inside a vehicle. What if the brakes failed? What if she fell out? What if she were run over and no one heard her cries?

  She pulled back from him, slipped on the ice, and before he was able to turn back to her, she fell to the ground, her back stinging as she landed hard.

  “Sage, I’m sorry,” Spence said, immediately crouching down.

  “I’m fine,” she said as the sob bubbled up and escaped through her tight throat.

  “You are nowhere near fine,” he said as he opened the truck door and got her inside. She didn’t want to be in there but somehow found herself shivering on his front seat.

  “I don’t want to drive anywhere,” she told him, nearly eaten alive by panic.

  “Then we’ll just sit here and keep warm.”

  She could handle that. “I wanted so badly to save her,” she said, anguish clearly coming through.

  “She couldn’t be saved, Sage. As soon as I did the first assessment, saw the damage, I knew we wouldn’t save her,” Spence said, making her head whip around as she replayed his words.

  “Wha—what? What do you mean?”

  “She wasn’t going to make it. The internal damage was too great. A rib had pierced her heart and both lungs. She was hemorrhaging. With the condition of the roads and the delay in the emergency call, it took too long for her to get here. Nothing we did from that point forward was going to help.”

  “Then why did you tell me to save her, damn you?” Sage was seething. She needed somewhere to direct her anger, and Spence had just given her the perfect target.

  “Because that’s what we do, Sage. We work on the hopeless and sometimes there’s a miracle. We work until we can’t work any longer so we can tell the parents we did absolutely everything we could. We work until that child is no longer with us, even when we know it’s of no use.”

  “Why didn’t you keep working, then? I’m just a resident—a freaking first-year resident. I’ve only been in training for a little over six months. I don’t know everything, not at all. You gave up. You shouldn’t have given up.”

  “It’s something you had to learn. You had to know that you can fight to the death if you have to, but that you will survive when the worst happens. And you will, Sage. You’ll hurt for a little while and then you’ll come back in and do this all over again. Sometimes you’ll win and sometimes you’ll lose, but the point is that you will survive.”

  When Spence reached toward her, she jerked away, angry with him even though she could see some logic to his words. He was, in essence, her teacher—and to do his job right, he needed to teach her everything he could. But this lesson hurt too badly—was still hurting her too badly—for her to forgive him just yet.

  “I’m going to drive now, Sage. I know you haven’t eaten anything all day, and you need to get something in you before you make yourself sick.” He put the truck in reverse and started moving.

  Sage should have left, stepped from the truck, but though she was mad at him, she also wanted his comfort, wanted not to be alone. They drove for a while, heading toward the city instead of Sterling. She watched fat snowflakes fall against the windshield as she and Spence reached downtown Billings, where lights lined the streets and people rushed from vehicles to restaurants and stores. The city was alive even with the snow. It continued forward even if one of its residents had been tragically taken from them.

  “If you let it, this will kill you, Sage. If you get too attached, start blaming yourself, you will fail again and again. You can’t grieve over your patients, and you can’t hold yourself responsible. You have to work as hard and as fast as you can, but you have to remember that you’re only human—there’s only so much you can do. Sometimes, God has a different plan.”

  It was odd, but the sound of his voice was soothing her, making her feel somehow just a bit better. He wasn’t saying anything she hadn’t heard before, but when faced with life and death and coming out on the losing end, she’d found it difficult to remember what she’d been taught.

  “I understand that, Spence. But it’s still easier said than done.”

  “Yes, but you can find the balance you need to find. You’ll know how to care just the right amount, enough that you’ll work your hardest, but not so much that you lose yourself. You’re a fighter, Sage, and you’ll be an advocate for your patients. That’s all anyone can hope for from a doctor. Be strong, but don’t be afraid to lean on others.”

  “I guess the hardest part is that so many people live who will go back to abusing drugs, or cheating on a spouse, or beating their children. So many people get their lives saved who turn around and throw that life away. And then, suddenly, there’s this six-year-old girl on your table who woke up that morning to ask how many more days until Christmas, who might have gone outside and built a snowman, who’d just begun school and had an entire future ahead of her. And she’s the one who goes. It’s just not fair.”

  “No, none of it’s fair, Sage. All I know is that we take an oath to help everyone who seeks us. We take an oath not to judge, to do all we can. Sometimes we do have to help people who the world might be better off without. You can never know that, though, and sometimes we lose someone so precious I don’t know how the world can survive the loss. Sometimes the day doesn’t bring us anything at all. This is a job—a job we love, a job that helps people, but it is a job. You have to leave it at the hospital when you step through those doors. You can’t carry it home with you, and you can’t shoulder the burden all alone.”

  He was right. Of course he was right. And it was helping to talk it out, but she couldn’t think about it anymore, couldn’t keep focusing on this loss. She had to get her mind off it or she’d be weepy all night.

  He stopped the truck, and the snow quickly enveloped them in a cocoon, invisible to the people passing by as it piled up on his windshield and the side windows fogged. It felt like they were the last two people in the world.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you—sorry I put you through that,” he said as he pulled her close to him and wrapped her in his arms.

  “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she said, though she felt only a smidgen of remorse.

  He chuckled softly as he laid her head on his shoulder. Then he was rubbing her back, moving his hand in slow, easy motions that were draining the last of her tension.

  “I care about you, Sage,” he whispered in her ear.

  She was too vulnerable right now to hear this. She might actually believe him if she wasn’t careful.

  “Ditto, Doctor,” she said, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Good. Because I plan on being around for a very long time.” He pulled back so he could look into her eyes.

  What was he trying to say to her? Were they now officially a couple? It wasn’t as if grown-ups tended to define this sort of thing, which could really make it confusing. If he kissed her in the backseat of his car, or in this case, the front seat of his truck, did that make them an item? It was all so confusing, but she was grateful to focus on their relationship—or nonrelationship—instead of her patient’s blond curls.

  “Take me home with you, Spence.” She was a bit shocked that the words popped from her mouth, but as soon as they were out, she didn’t regret them. He’d invited her to spend the night, after all, and she was ready to do that. Ready to feel.

  “Oh, Sage, you’re killing me,” he groaned. He lowered his mouth and kissed her, a gentle, sweet kiss that had her sighing into his mouth. “This isn’t the right time.” He drew away, breathing heavily.

  Hurt fla
shed through her. “I thought . . . you wanted me.” Was she actually going to be rejected again by this man? Had she not learned her lesson? He’d been pushing her for so long now, and when she was ready to accept what he was offering, he suddenly wanted to take the offer back. She didn’t think she could endure anything else today. Tears were so close to the surface.

  “I want you more than it’s possible to say, Sage. I could show you, but I don’t want to embarrass us both. I could tell you that I’m just following through on our date, or that it would be better for you not to be alone, but I’d know that it was my own selfishness, that I was taking advantage of you when you’ve just gone through a seriously traumatic experience. I’d be the worst kind of subhumanoid if I took you to bed tonight.”

  She looked at him with surprise. Was he really a prince come to sweep her off her feet? What man was this noble? It couldn’t have been rehearsed. There was no doubt now that she was falling in love with him. And it didn’t bother her one whit.

  “I want to make love to you, Spence. I want it more than anything,” she said as she boldly ran a finger up his chest and across his hard jaw. He shuddered, which gave her a measure of satisfaction.

  “It can’t happen like this, Sage. It has to happen because we are consumed with desire. I want you to be making love to me, not trying to escape your pain.”

  He wasn’t being cruel, but he was still ticking her off. She wanted to forget what had happened today, and she was sure that being in his arms would be just the right antidote. He’d told her earlier, before the poor little girl was wheeled in, that he wanted her. So why wasn’t he stripping her right here in his truck?

  “Fine. Then take me home.” Just great. She was now embarrassed on top of everything else. She’d thrown herself at him and was rewarded with a nice, fat rejection.

  “Nope. That’s not going to happen, either. I’m going to feed you a good, healthy meal, then I’m going to bring you back out to my truck and drive you home—your home. And once we’re there, we’ll park out front and steam up the windows. Then, when I can’t stand another second without ravishing you in the most disgraceful way possible, I will walk you to the door, kiss you one last time, and then run like crazy back to my truck before I do something foolish like follow you indoors and taste your body like I so desperately want to.” His voice had grown huskier the longer he spoke.

  For her part, Sage felt her breathing rise a few notches. This man could turn her on with nothing but words.

  “I don’t think I can eat anything,” she said, deciding for now to ignore the rest of his declaration.

  “Then eat for me.” With that, he turned off the truck and pulled her with him out the driver’s door. After being in the heat of his truck for the past half hour, it was a real shock to step outside into the freezing snow.

  “Fine,” she said. Not that she had much choice.

  The sooner they got through the meal, the quicker they could begin their make-out session in his truck. That, more than anything else, made her more than ready to eat.

  Later, the night did end the way he’d described it, but with just a little more moaning on his part than he’d led her to expect.

  “Get in here and open this package right now!”

  Sage turned from the front door to find Grace sitting on the couch with a long box in front of her on the coffee table, practically salivating over the thing.

  “I’ve had a long day at work, Grace. What’s got your panties in a bunch?” But Sage knew. Grace was just as excited to see what was in the package as Sage was.

  “Don’t play dumb with me, roomie. It’s only because I’m such a loyal friend that I haven’t ripped this box open. This is a different shape than the others and I’m dying to see what’s inside. So hurry up and end my misery.”

  Sage walked over to the couch and sat down. To be truthful, she wanted to open the package, but it was so much fun to torment her best friend. She wasn’t sure which of them could hold out longer, but she was going to try.

  “I’m so tired,” she said. “These long shifts have got to end at some point.” She slowly pulled off her shoes and began massaging her feet.

  “I’m sure you could find a highly qualified surgeon who would love to rub those feet for you if you’d quit avoiding him like the plague. I swear that he left fifty messages on the machine a couple of days ago. You’ll have to tell me what happened eventually. I’m not above using Chinese torture methods.”

  “If you were ever home, Grace, maybe I’d be more willing to talk to you.”

  “I’m home now, sweetie.”

  “I lost a patient, then offered myself to Spence, and he turned me down. So I avoided him during my two days off, ate a lot of Chunky Monkey, and slept for hours on end. It was horrifically boring.”

  “Well, then, at least you were nice and rested.” Grace did have a way of looking at things from a brighter perspective.

  “Not anymore. And though I was nice and rested, I had nowhere to go,” Sage said with a lopsided grin.

  “If you’d answer the phone, I’m sure you’d have somewhere to go all the freaking time. For now, let’s open this box.” Grace jumped up, grabbed it, and tossed it into her friend’s lap.

  Sage had no choice now but to open it. She took the card off the top and read that first.

  Please wear this tonight.

  Yours, Spence

  “Ooh, I can’t stand the suspense,” Grace said as she rocked from foot to foot.

  Sage opened the lid and didn’t know what to say. Inside was a dress, a delicate hunter-green chiffon gown with long, flowing sleeves and a slit that was indecently high on one thigh.

  “I couldn’t wear this,” Sage gasped.

  “Oh yes you can, and you will. I am so jealous,” Grace said as she stood up, took the dress from Sage’s fingers, and held it up to her body with great drama. “You’ll definitely look like a princess. I guess he really is keeping that whole royalty theme rolling, isn’t he?”

  And she proceeded to twirl around the living room while humming a Disney tune.

  “Do you want to go on the date with Spence?” Sage asked with a laugh.

  “Don’t tempt me. It’s been way too long since I’ve had sex,” Grace grumbled. She handed the dress back to Sage and slumped down in her seat.

  “From what I’ve seen, Camden wouldn’t mind getting underneath your skirt,” Sage said with a waggle of her eyebrows.

  “I don’t think so. We can barely stand to be in the same room together. That man runs hot and cold like a kitchen faucet. One minute he’s all charm and the next he’s Mr. Brooding. I don’t get it. Not like I care or anything.”

  “If you’d just spill your guts about whatever deal you have going on with the man, your troubles would evaporate,” Sage told her.

  “There will be no spilling of my guts. It’s a national secret,” Grace said with a wink.

  The frightening part was that Sage could see Grace mixed up with some ultrasecret mission. It was the sort of thing that fit perfectly with her best friend’s personality.

  And as usual, Grace changed the subject. “Okay, if you’re going to wear that dress, Sage, we have to go shopping right this minute for the most shameless panty set we can find. You have to be sexy as sin when that thing comes off.”

  “I haven’t even decided whether I’m going,” Sage said, but Grace just jumped up and grabbed pen and paper.

  “You are so going, Sage. I can see it in your eyes. Besides, you’d be a fool not to. I can already tell that this is going to be the best date ever.”

  “I don’t know . . .” She’d offered her body and he’d turned her down flat. That still stung, despite all his fine talk about being a gentleman or whatever.

  “Oh, quit being a martyr. If anyone needs to loosen up, it would be you. You’ve always put everyone and everything in front of your own happiness. Yes, getting good grades and excelling in everything academically is great and all, but you have to live a little, too. O
therwise you’ll never have a well-rounded life. Trust me on this one. Let’s get the sexy undies, go and get manis and pedis, and then knock the socks right off of Spence when he shows up tonight.”

  The pleading in Grace’s tone was her undoing. Not only did Sage want to do this, but having a girls’ day out sounded perfect. With the number of hours she had been working, a night off was always good. And she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a pedicure. That was exactly what she needed. The week’s stress would float away the minute she put her feet in the hot, massaging water.

  They left immediately, since it was an hour to the nearest mall. Peggy’s clothing store didn’t carry the kind of lingerie Grace had in mind. Living in a small town was great until you wanted to do some real shopping and have a gourmet meal. Sage wasn’t complaining, really, but she did love the convenience of a big city.

  The first store they hit was Victoria’s Secret, and Sage found herself blushing at the things Grace was holding up for her to examine.

  “Are you crazy? I can’t wear that. He’d think I was a hooker,” Sage said as she looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was paying attention to them.

  “You’ll make him so hard, he’ll drop to his knees and beg you to be his forever,” Grace said, holding out a bright red corset and garter belt. “Besides, you definitely want to be wearing a garter belt for much easier—and faster—access.” She offered up her best wolfish grin.

  “Why don’t we just buy the split undies and make the access instantaneous?” Sage snapped.