by K. Renee
“Stana, don’t ask unless ye want me to give ye the truth. Ye won’t like what ye hear, I promise ye love.” He grabs his phone and types something out before pocketing his phone again.
Do I think he’s dangerous? Yes.
Do I believe that he will do anything to hurt me? No.
Where does that leave me though? What happens if he gets caught doing something wrong or he gets killed himself? I don’t even know why I’m thinking about this right now… A month ago I didn’t have to worry about the killer that I was sleeping with, but today I am currently deciding if I can handle knowing what he might do to whoever damaged his car.
Closing my eyes, I lean my head back against the headboard and take a few deep breaths. What’s the worse that can happen? I mean besides the obvious…
There are so many things that I don’t know about, but Jerick is the only one who can save me. Save me from the man at the bar, the man in the alley, and even Rhett. “I want the truth,” I whisper. I need to know the truth.
He sighs before running his hand over his stubbled chin. “I’m going to find out who did this. I’ll make them pay fer it too.” He doesn’t say more than that, but I get the meaning behind his words. “Ye will hate me.” He mutters, almost so softly that I can barely make out the words.
“I won’t. I promise you that I’ll always stand by you.” His head turns towards me, and he has a surprised look on his face. Hell, I’m amazed by the words that came out of my mouth as well. When I moved here, I never thought that I would ever think that I would sleep with a killer, let alone a man that would extract revenge on someone for putting his hand on me.
“Ye would do that?” he asks. I nod my head because I would even if it is scary to admit. In this short amount of time, I’ve become dependent on him. I would do anything he asked me to do.
“Yes.” He grabs the tray that is on my lap and moves it to the end of the bed.
“Ye know what yer saying, love?” he asks gently. I nod my head and watch the way his eyes change color, his light green eyes darkening. “This life is dangerous. I can protect ye, but me family won’t approve.”
“Why won’t they approve?” I question. Why would it matter? I don’t understand…
“We don’t welcome outsiders into our life. We keep everything close to the vest and me telling ye what I do is against everything we stand fer. I trust ye Stana, or I wouldn’t have told ye to begin with. It’s dangerous fer people to know what we do.”
I nod my head because I don’t know any other response. “I won’t turn on you,” I whisper. He reaches over and cups my cheek. The feel of his warm hand on my skin brings forward a longing that I can’t deny. Everything in my life is about to change. I can tell by just looking in his eyes. I’m not exactly sure what I just signed up for, but I don’t care as long as I get to be by his side the whole time.
“Ye have no clue what yer agreeing to, love. I’m a bad man. I hurt people every fecking day. Ye won’t be able to stay clean if ye stay with me.”
I don’t care. I want him, I need him.
“I don’t care as long as I have you.” He stares into my eyes for a second, like he’s searching for something. Like he’s looking for an answer to a question that he didn’t ask.
He grabs my arm and pulls me over to him. I straddle his lap and sit on his thighs. He doesn’t say anything, he just pulls my mouth down to his, and he kisses me like his life depends on it. I melt into his body and just let him take the lead. Everything he does feels fantastic like he was meant to do it to my body. I don’t question it; I just let myself feel every kiss and caress. A passion that makes everything that much stronger than if it were anyone else doing it to me.
Eighteen
Jerick
Once I got Stana to work, I made me way to the club. I needed to talk with me Da. The shit he wants me to do with Liam isn’t going to end well. We don’t exactly get along anymore and putting us together will only end in bloodshed.
“Da,” I call out when I walk into the club. I make me way towards the back room, and I see me dad sitting in his chair with his fingers steepled to his forehead. He doesn’t look at me when I walk in, but I know he’s aware that I’m here.
“Ye come to complain about yer brother?” He asks finally after a long moment of silence.
“Not about him. More about the shit ye want us to do,” I state. “It’s the same shit I’ve been doing fer months. I have a handle on it. I don’t need him anywhere near me work.”
I hear his chuckle come from behind me and when I turn me head, I see the smirk on his face. Liam is a fecking bastard if I’ve ever met one. He doesn’t care about the family, he only cares about himself and what he can gain.
“Ye always think yer better than me little brother.” He states as he walks out of the shadows into the room taking a seat next to me. “Little do ye know I’m the one who will take over the family when the time comes.” I look to me Da, and he doesn’t say a word. It’s the damn truth… No fecking way. He isn’t fit to run the damn family and me Da knows that.
“So ye can run the family into the ground like everything else ye have ever done before?” I spit out. I’m pissed, but I don’t let them see the real anger that I have inside me veins right now. I’ll save that fer when I decide on dealing with this shit. Right now, me head is a fecking mess with Stana and the shit that is surrounding us.
“The only one who would be running the family into the ground is ye, Jerick. I know about yer little whore. Remember I was at yer place. I saw the little bitch. She’s made ye weak.” I clench me hands and take a deep breath before I beat the feck out of him.
“Ye have been with the lass?” Me Da finally asks. “That’s why ye’ve been so damn out of it.” He shakes his head at me as he thinks something over. “Ye told me ye got rid of the last one. Now ye got a new one?” He looks at me like I’ve lost me mind of something.
“She doesn’t have anything to do with this. Ye are just trying to find a reason to kick me down the ladder which is fine. Have fun getting the trust of the people I’ve gained in the last few months. I made the family’s territory what it is. Ye’ll lose everything if I’m not involved,” I state. They both look at each other, and I just shrug me shoulders. “It’s up to ye.”
I get up from me chair and make me way out of the office. I don’t even care right now what their choice is. I have other shit I need to deal with right now.
By the time I get back to me apartment, I scan the room fer anything out of the ordinary. I don’t trust that fecking brother of mine, and I know he did something while he was in here. There is no reason fer him to be in the gaff when I’m not home unless he was trying to do something to me.
Grabbing my phone, I dial Rory’s number and wait fer him to answer.
“Aye, Jerick. What can I do fer ye?” he asks when he answers.
“I need a new place with no ties to me name. Can ye help me?”
“Aye. Any place or do ye have some specifications?” I laugh at that. He knows me well enough to ask.
“I need security. Somewhere me brother can’t find or get into.” I stop there for a second because I don’t know how much to tell him. He’s been me best mate fer years so I know I can trust him. “He knows about Stana and now me Da does too. I think they are trying to push me out of the family business.” I hear him blow out a breath before he starts to talk.
“Feck. That bastard has always been jealous of ye. Maybe if he had pulled his head out of his arse, he wouldn’t be in the mess he’s made of his life.”
I pause at that. “What do ye mean?” I question. I didn’t know he was in a mess.
“Ye didn’t hear about why yer brother come stateside after he got out?” he asks.
“Feck no. What the hell did he do this time?” I already know this isn’t going to go well. The last time me brother tried to help with the family business, I almost fecking died because of the bastard, and I won’t put me life on the line fer him again.
“Feck me. I need to talk with me Da. Can ye work on the place and let me know what ye need fer money, and I’ll get it to ye?”
“Aye. Ye know I always have yer back Jerick,” he says into the phone.
“Aye. Thank ye brother,” I respond, hanging up on him. I dial me Da’s number and wait fer him to answer,
“Aye,” he replies, sounding distracted.
“Ye know why he’s really in town Da?” I ask, cutting to the chase. I don’t want to argue with him, but I want him to know why Liam is really here.
“Liam?” he asks like he doesn’t know who I’m talking about.
“Aye Da. Do ye know why he’s stateside?” I grit out. He has always protected that sorry son of a bitch, and I won’t let Liam take this family down.
“He wanted to get back into the family business,” Da states like it’s that fecking easy.
“No, he came stateside because he can’t stay away from the coke. He owes someone big back home.”
“Yer just saying that rubbish because ye don’t like that me oldest will be taking over when the time comes boyo. I get that yer pissed, but to make up shit about yer brother is a bit much, don’t ye think?”
I can’t help but laugh at that. “Da, I don’t give a shit if he wants to lead the damn family. I give a fuck that they will come after us again. That me life will be on the line again because Liam can’t keep his nose out of the coke.” I hear him sigh over the line, but he doesn’t say anything else, so I continue.
“He’s in deep with one of the Divil’s men. When they come stateside to clean up, I’ll jump ship. I will do what I have to to keep meself alive if ye don’t do anything about it.”
“It’s a fecking family Jerick. Ye will not jump ship. We fight like a damn family, not take the coward’s way out,” he grates out. I don’t give a feck, I won’t lose me life fer that son of a bitch.
“Then get yer shit straight with yer son and make sure that fecking shit doesn’t fall on the family I helped ye build from the ground up after he ruined the one we had in Belfast.” Me Da doesn’t respond. Instead, he hangs up on me. Pocketing me phone, I look around the apartment and notice a picture frame that wasn’t there before. Walking over to it, I stare at the photo and think back to when it was taken.
It was right before I took a bullet to the chest after being tortured for hours. I never gave up the information they were looking fer, so they shot me instead. I remember feeling like I was drowning as the blood seeped from me chest and down me body, covering most of me lower body. I was coughing up blood right when they found me. I was lucky to live through that nightmare, and now he wants to throw me right back into his shit.
Grabbing the frame, I stare at the picture of Liam and me. We were thick as thieves, but that day changed every fecking thing. I would have died fer him, but now, I wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire. He ruined any trust I had in him that day.
Pulling the back out of the frame, I see the bug. “I’m going to kill ye meslef if I have to,” I say explicitly into the microphone before I drop it on the ground and crunch it under me shoe. He doesn’t want to feck with me. I will take him down before he can hurt me lass or me.
Grabbing everything I can’t part with, I pack it up and bring the boxes and bags to me car. I’ll have to store this with Conaill or Rory until I get into a new place. Pulling out me phone, I send Stana a message.
Me: You almost off work?
She doesn’t write back right away, but then again I didn’t expect her to. I take a seat of me bed and lay back against the blankets. It’s been weeks since I’ve really spent any time here. I’ve spent most of me time at Stana’s the last few weeks and will probably spend more time there until I get a new place.
When me phone finally alerts me to a new message, I look down at the screen and see her response.
Stana: No, I still have a few hours. Why? Is everything okay?
I close me eyes fer a few minutes before I finally open them and answer her. I can’t say too much because of the unsecured line, but I can at least tell her that everything is okay fer the time being.
Me: Just some shit came up. I will see you later.
Her response is instant. She’s getting better at typing out her messages now.
Stana: I can fake sick. If you need me, I’ll be there.
I smile at that. Stana would do something like fer me without thinking twice. She’s fecking amazing.
Me: It can wait. I’ll be there to pick you up at 5.
She doesn’t respond back, and I don’t know if that worries me or not. I make me way to me car and take off towards her place. If anything I can pick the lock and hang out at her gaff until I have to go and get her.
When I pull into a parking spot, I scan the area and see nothing out of the normal, so I make me way to her place. Once I get her door open, I set me bag down with a change of clothes and shut the door. Making me way over to her couch, I take a seat on the small couch and put me feet on the on the coffee table.
Fer the first time, I really get a look at the place. It’s clean and organized, but there is nothing personal about the space. She doesn’t look like she keeps much besides the necessaries, and it makes me curious to what she is hiding from. That bastard that came by the other day maybe? I know he hurt her, but I feel like it’s much more than she told me. He wouldn’t just disappear and then come back fer her unless he wanted something.
I just need to figure out what.
Nineteen
Stana
The rest of the day drags on. As soon as I got that message from Jerick, I’ve been watching the hands on the clock as they tick by. I want to see him. I didn’t write him back earlier because I wasn’t sure what more to say, but now I want to. Pulling up my text thread with him, I send him a new message.
Me: I want to see you.
He doesn’t respond right away, and part of me wonders what he’s doing right now. Is he hurting someone? What if someone is hurting him? Great, now my mind is running a million miles as I think about all the crazy things he could currently be part of. I don’t know maybe I’m just thinking the worse. I mean, I’m sure he can take care of himself. He’s been doing it for a while now.
When his message finally comes through, I can’t help but grin.
Jerick: Then come home.
Me: I still have an hour and a half. I want to see you right now.
When he writes me back, he only sends a photo. When I open the picture, I see the bottom of his chin, along with his naked skin. My eyes roam over every inch of his bare chest, and I have to close my mouth to keep from drooling all over my desk. His body is a work of art. I can’t believe that I get to be the one who sees it.
I flush at the thought of being the only person that gets to see him naked lately. I’m sure before me he had a line of women waiting to get a piece of him, but for the last month or so he’s spent every night in my bed or me in his. I don’t see how he could have time to spend with another woman unless he does it during the day while I’m at work.
My once pleasant mood turns dark quickly. I hate that I let myself think the worst of people, but it’s hard not to. People cheat, its life and that much I do know. I just hope like hell Jerick isn’t that type of man.
Another text comes in, and when I look at the screen, I can’t bring my eyes away from him again. When I finally close out of the photo, I look at his new message and stare at the words.
Jerick: I sure hope you’re not responding because you’re speechless.
Typing out a response, I can’t help but grin at him. He’s cocky in the best way
sometimes. I don’t know what I even thought when I let him walk me home that night, but I’m sure glad I did. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have this fantastic, yet dangerous man sending me half-naked photos.
Me: I was admiring, not drooling.
I grin at that and set my phone back on my desk, pulling up the new customer’s information that I just entered. Once I verify that all the client's information is correct, I read his latest message.
Jerick: Well then get off work early, and we can spend the time together instead.
Me: I wish I could. I want to see more.
I blush at the thought of him sending another photo to me. Before he can respond, Max comes into my cubicle and leans against my wall. He crosses his arms as his dark brown eyes stare into the side of my face. When I turn to face him, I can see the hurt written all over his features. He still doesn’t like that I’m involved with Jerick, he’s told me multiple times since he said that Jerick killed his father.
I know that Jerick said he didn’t kill Max’s father, but I can’t tell him what I know. I feel like I’ll be betraying Jerick and that isn’t something I will do. I know it sounds probably crazy since I barely know him, but I want him to be able to trust me with information. I want to believe him.
“Your boyfriend kill anyone else lately?” he bites out.
I roll my eyes at him for being petty. This isn’t the type of person Max is, and I don’t like that he’s become cold towards me since I left with Jerick that day. Every time I’ve tried to talk to Max, he’s shut me down completely, so I haven’t even bothered. It’s pointless if he doesn’t want to talk or even try to be civilized.
Jerick said he wasn’t the one who killed Max’s father and I believe him. Why would he lie about that? He could have lied about at least a dozen other things, he hasn’t done that either. So I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. I owe it to him for saving my life at least.