“She was born an Angel also.” At this Adam now sucked in a quick breath in shock.
“Gods,” he muttered, making Lucius scoff,
“Yeah, my fucking thoughts exactly! Now how the fuck did that happen?!”
“Well, there must be a reason.” Lucius rolled his eyes before sarcasm took centre stage in his reply,
“A reason why she was born that way, sure…but a reason why it only showed itself to me and doing so just before I fucking took it away…sorry, my friend, but I am coming up fucking empty on that one!” Lucius snapped making Adam frown.
“The only accountability to it all would be…” Lucius growled low before whipping a hand up and warning,
“Don’t fucking say it! Don’t you even fucking think it!”
“If not the Fates, then why? Why would she be connected to you?” Adam braved to ask, making Lucius close his eyes against the idea that the Fates were involved.
“I don’t know,” he muttered.
“Why wouldn’t her own parents know what she truly was?” He continued to ask and I could see that Lucius was losing what shred of patience he had when he forced out through gritted teeth this time,
“I don’t know!”
“Why would she be tied to your soul if she wasn’t destined to be your…”
“I don’t fucking know, alright!” Lucius shouted this time, bolting up out of his seat and making Adam shake his head to himself.
“I am sorry, Luc, I know this isn’t easy for you,” he said, watching as Lucius looked down at his gloved hand with nothing but disgust and Adam’s comment only made him fist it in anger before he ordered,
“I want you and Pip there for her.”
“But of course,” was Adam’s instant reply, but this wasn’t enough for Lucius as he turned a little to grant him a stern look over his shoulder, so he could demand more from him,
“I want you to become the girl’s guardian, watch over her, keep her safe, do you understand?”
“I will guard the girl with my life, but then this isn’t exactly a shock, Luc, not seeing as my wife would have my balls if I did anything but die for her.” Lucius huffed and said,
“She has no doubt become quite attached.”
“You were at that party, Luc, who do you think was up with her inflating four hundred fucking pink balloons until five in the morning whilst I watched my wife drawing condoms and smiley faces on them all.” Luc scoffed again, no doubt unable to find the same humour in the thought as his friend did.
“Good, then that will be another guardian for her,” he said and it broke my heart with how responsible he obviously felt.
“Trust me, even beyond the walls of Afterlife she will have many,” Adam commented and I smirked, knowing he hadn’t been wrong there.
“I also want all the research that can be done about this…done with discretion of course.”
“No one will find out, Luc,” Adam stated like this was obvious, well that was before Lucius pointed out the most indiscreet person on the planet.
“That also means your wife, my friend,” Lucius added making Adam now look uncomfortable before admitting in a tense tone,
“Yes, I know.” After this Lucius walked up to where he sat and squeezed his shoulder, telling him silently that he knew he was asking a lot, especially considering how much Adam adored his wife and was as faithful as they came. But then, he was also faithful to his friend and his King.
“And what about you?” Adam asked after Lucius took his seat behind his desk, making him pause slightly as if he was affected by the question.
“What about me?” he asked in return after lowering himself into his seat and speaking in a tone that said he felt agitated by the question.
“What will you do regarding the girl?” At this it didn’t take him long to answer.
“I will tell you what I am going to do and that is keep as far as I fucking can away from her, that is what!” he snapped and suddenly with that one statement alone, the last twenty seven years of his treatment of me started to make sense. As it was clear that now had been the starting point in time.
“You think that is wise?” Adam asked, clearly taken back.
“You think it’s not?!” Lucius threw back as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing in that question and holding up his gloved hand to make a point.
“And what if you are destined to…”
“Don’t fucking finish that sentence, Adam, for I would like you to leave this office still a friend.” Adam released a sigh and said,
“Think about it.”
“I refuse to, for she is a fucking child, for Lucifer’s sake!” he bellowed, banging a fist on the desk and making me wonder how it had even survived all these years of Lucius’ rage.
“Yes, but she won’t always be, and you know that,” Adam pointed out and Lucius grimaced.
“Yes, and she will grow into a human woman because of me, so you really think I want to be around the reminder of that!” he ground out through clenched teeth and I had to say it hurt, despite the circumstances that surrounded it.
“So, what, you want her protected her entire life but have nothing more to do with it?” Adam pressed, proving exactly what he could get away with around his friend and the answer was a lot.
“Yes, that is exactly what I am saying! After all, it is the least I can do, for if she is now forced to live as a human then this way she will do so for as long as humanly possible… without being hurt,” he said emphasizing this last part and trying to make his point.
“And if there is more than that destined for her?”
“Then she will live out that destiny without me fucking in it, that is what!” he snapped making Adam sigh in exasperation.
“Luc, come on, think about it…”
“NO!” Lucius roared and this time when his fist hit the desk he was back to standing and staring down at where it had cracked. Then after needing to take a minute to calm, he told him firmly,
“I won’t risk the life of Keira’s child…not again…keeping her safe is all I will ever offer the girl and that I can promise you.” The pain of his words cut deep but what did manage to ease the hurt was that I knew that this was one promise he would have no choice but to break.
However, it did at least answer so many questions as to why he had held me at arm’s length for so long. He feared that if he was ever to give into the temptation of being near me, then it could have happened again, that much was obvious.
Which just made me wonder exactly how long had he continued to blame himself for what had happened? The entire time most likely, as he clearly felt ashamed enough to keep it from me. And I had to admit, that this hurt the most. That Lucius hadn’t trusted me enough with the truth for only one reason…
He thought that I would blame him, just as he blamed himself.
But little did he know that in my eyes there was nothing to forgive, as it was like Adam had said,
This had all been fated.
But I knew it would first take years of my life to be lived through before he would feel this way and go back on his promise. Especially as this image started to fade around the edges, doing so to the sight of Lucius, who was now scowling down at his fisted leather hand. It was as if pure hatred for it was all he was capable of feeling.
And the sight, well…
It broke my heart.
Chapter 8
Depths of an Obsession
After this time in his office ended, it once more became a merging of time, all now featuring Lucius and me. Most of which was unbeknown to me at the time. This started with him watching me from afar. Something that only happened after he saved me the night I had sneaked into the Devil’s Ring. And looking at it now and seeing his reaction, well it was obviously when he was hit with the knowledge that I was his Chosen One after all…that Adam had been right all along. And after this point, well it became clear that there were times he found it too difficult to do as he promised he would, which was to stay
away from me. Because the next lot of visions of his past only showed one thing… an obsession as it grew in its intensity. As there was something I quickly discovered…
Lucius had always been there watching.
He would watch me as I played the piano, telling me now why there had been one in my apartment that he had purposely decorated for me next to his own in Transfusion. I believe I even questioned this when first seeing it and asking myself why he would even care enough to bother.
And then there were the times when he had been forced to be at events and celebrations that I never knew he had even been there. But there he was and as usual, spent his time watching me from afar. Watching me from the shadows and seemingly questioning why it was that I looked forlorn or even lonely. This as I sat on the sidelines secretly waiting for my prince to come and sweep me off my feet by asking me to dance. There were even times that I saw him taking a step forward before stopping himself as if he had been about to request the next dance. And every single time he saw me, it seemed to end in the same way, as he clenched his gloved hand and scowled before walking away from me, without looking back. It happened so often that it became almost like a habit.
In fact, the amount of times he was part of my life really started to impact me after I turned up at his club the first time and ran from it heartbroken. The true depth of his obsession became even more blindingly obvious when I saw a barrage of visions that started the moment I left the safety of Afterlife.
This even included him buying my building in Twickenham and then arranging to have all the money spent on it to ensure it had top of the range security. I even witnessed his meeting with Queeney, the lady who had helped me that day in the Underground, telling me of a flat for sale. It had all been his doing, not that of my father’s!
Gods, but even Ben across the hall had been one of his people! I knew this the second an image of Lucius now sat at his desk emerged, telling me exactly who he was speaking to on his phone. Also telling me exactly who he was getting an update on my movements from and all the while during the call he was tapping on the surveillance pictures of me taken from afar.
I was utterly astounded at all I was discovering, especially the levels that Lucius had gone to throughout most of my life! Which always seemed to have only one theme in common…my safety. But despite this and his good intentions of keeping me safe, it was no different to what I had mistakenly blamed my father for doing. It was a huge intrusion of privacy in my life and one he had not only kept from me but continued to allow my father to take the blame for. Something I most definitely did have a right to be angry at him for.
But then there were the other intrusions of my privacy, the more intimate kind. Like when he was in my room, watching me sleep. I remember one time when I had called in sick, suffering with the flu and Lucius looked frustrated when I would cough in my sleep. I had to say, as good as the times for him to be in my room with me went, then this was one of the most embarrassing he could have picked. But then knowing Lucius, it was most likely the reason he had picked to show up, because his daily update of me had mentioned my being absent from work due to sickness. And what sight met him, but balls of used tissues dotted about the bed like little snot bombs and me with one fisted in my hand. This so I could rub my red and sore nose in my sleep, one cracked from blowing it so much.
However, the only move he ever made towards me was a slight stroke of my cheek before he left. He visited me every night after that until I was over it and back to being healthy again. The sight seriously made my heart ache for how much he cared.
But that intense care he only showed me in secret was something he continued to hide and the night he pretended to walk back into my life, when in fact he had never left it, was no exception. As now the not so distant memories started to play back to me, showing me a very different view of the past, one I was finally allowed to feel a part of.
This started with Lucius watching me as I entered the gala, doing so like all those times before, hidden in the shadows. But unlike those nights when he held himself back, this time when he took a step towards me, he kept going. But the second before he made this decision, I saw the way he looked down at his gloved hand and made a fist with it, and I knew why. Even years later, he still blamed himself and again, it made my heart ache for him. To now know the truth about why all this time he never felt comfortable letting me touch it.
Of course, he remembered what happened the last time I did.
And it all made sense now, every single time. Even including the last time not so long ago, where I had kissed his palm in bed. It had ended up being the longest time he had let me touch him there without pulling away, making me ask myself…had he started to trust me more?
But of course, that was now, and this uncertainty was then. The reason he fought himself so hard on what he wanted and what he believed was right. What he believed would keep me safe from something he classed as my biggest threat…himself.
However, despite this, it became obvious that he still couldn’t let me go completely. And after first unclenching his fist, it was like I said, he had made his first move towards me, instead of this time walking away. I swear I almost laughed at the sight of myself as I tensed the moment I heard his voice behind me, remembering my utter disbelief that it was really him. Thus, marking the start of his charade in making me believe he didn’t care and that I was just a job to him… or more like a favour he carried out because my father had asked him to.
But the vision didn’t skip that far ahead, not like I thought it would have. Which made me wonder if this night was considered an important turning point in Lucius’ life and was considered a favoured memory of his? It was most certainly a hopeful thought as I found myself back in the gallery where I had held my tour.
It was strange reliving it and witnessing again how those steel blue eyes of his barely ever left me. I even got to relive the moment when one of the women had come on to him. I remember questioning what it had been he had said to her to make her storm off like that, as she had clearly been slighted in some way.
Well, now I was about to find out as the memory played back. And I could barely believe my ears when I heard what he had said to her. Telling her firmly that she had no chance in Hell or beyond it, for there was only one female he intended for his bed, then he finished this crass statement with a nod towards me and telling the once hopeful woman exactly who he had in his sights.
Clearly insulted, the woman had left, and I remembered it now, wishing at the time I knew why. But there were other times, ones more playful, like when I had been at Wendy’s flat texting him. Unbeknown to me at the time, he had been in a car travelling to the airport. And as his driver did all the work in getting him there, he had spent the journey grinning down at his screen, looking…well… happy.
But then a very a different grin was what greeted me next as the memory shifted to one of a very different kind. And I knew exactly what it was when I found him watching the security footage with that knowing grin playing at the corner of his lips. It was of me trying to sneak into Transfusion when I had been intent on stealing from him.
I felt a blush rise at just the thought of him watching it all and even more so when I became a spectator to my own first erotic experience. Of course, this had been a life changing memory for me and just knowing that despite all his past sexual encounters, it was a meaningful one for him too and one that made the cut. In fact, it made me question why none of his past sexual encounters with other woman had ever made it through to the montage of memories. Did that mean none of them had been important enough to him?
However, my questioning of this died the moment the time came for my kidnapping. First came the look of pure rage before utter agony took its place. This was when he was forced to endure seeing the distance between us grow as I was taken away from him in a helicopter.
I watched as he stumbled into a wall in the lobby outside his apartment. It was as if in that moment he felt the exact second that I had fallen i
nto the water and couldn’t breathe.
“My Šemšā’… my Šemšā… Še…mšā,” he whispered over and over again, and my heart broke for him. But then he roared out in undiluted fury before he hit out at the wall behind him. Then he was suddenly running to his apartment with speed, as if he had just had an idea on how to save me and time was crucial. Once he passed through the door my view changed just as he grabbed the vault door with his hands, morphing them to that of his demon. There was such strength and power in them that I felt breathless just watching it, as he brought forth what seemed like flames directly from his link to Hell. Doing so enough that soon the metal could withstand it no more. Gods, but he looked ready to take on all of Heaven and Hell if it meant getting me back, as it was as though he knew something I didn’t.
Had I been closer to dying than I had first believed?
It looked like I was soon to find out as the door gave way granting him entrance far quicker than opening it the usual way would have done. Then he walked straight over to the sword and knelt down as he whispered its name. It was done in a way as if calling forth the one who bestowed it upon him the honour of owning it.
“Caliburnus.”
He placed his hand upon the blade, bowed his head and then purposely sliced his hand down its length before making a vow,
“My Šemšā …. ‘Save my Šemšā, my Electus born. Save her and my blood is yours… that’s all I fucking ask!” He shouted this last part then roared out his demand,
“SAVE HER!” This was at the same time as hammering a fist down on the floor and cracking it around the sword. After this the weapon began to glow with blinding white power, like an eruption of the Gods gifting him his wish and taking away the sight of anything else in the room. All until a slight figure could still be seen, holding onto the blade and utterly determined not to let go, as if he were hanging on not just for his own dear life but mainly for mine.
The sight had me in tears, for the love this man had for me seemed to have no bounds and it took my breath away, tearing it from my body with the force of my emotions. That was when I knew that I would have drowned in that river had it not been for Lucius.
Kingdoms Of Hell: Vampire Paranormal Romance (Transfusion Book 7) Page 7