He had saved me…saved me again.
After this I had been ready to break the connection, no longer needing to see anymore, when it seemed as if the Keepers of Three weren’t yet done with me.
For there was one last vision left for me.
That of a…
Mistaken Lovers’ Kiss
Chapter 9
Hellish Harsh Reality
I was quickly transported to that fateful day I had left Afterlife or should I say…
The day I left Lucius.
I almost begged not to see it, as I didn’t know if I was strong enough to witness it a second time around. Although, I was surprised that the memory hadn’t just taken me straight to the library, but instead I ended up back on the rooftop. It had been where I had left Lucius after our argument but this time, he wasn’t alone. And it looked as if I had just entered into the middle of an argument. Because I saw my mother’s frustrated sigh before asking the retreating form of Lucius,
“Luc, where are you going?” He shot her a look of anger before snapping,
“To find her and tell her the truth…to tell everyone the fucking truth, like I should have done years ago!”
“You really think that is wise?” my mum asked making me frown, because surely this response was only going to back up the theory of an affair. But the way Lucius was acting towards her didn’t make sense either.
“You really think continuing to lie to her is?!” he threw back, before walking through the same door that he had locked in an attempt to keep me from leaving during our own argument.
“Lucius, wait!” my mum shouted desperately, which was something he ignored as my vision followed his angry escape.
“Lucius, please just think about this!” My mum now pleaded after she had caught up with him, once back inside the walls of Afterlife. I also found myself wondering where I was while this was going on. Was I still back inside the Temple of Janus, opening the box or had that time passed and I was back inside the library? Had I been on my way to try and find Lucius, ready and excited to tell him what I had discovered?
These questions faded from my mind the moment he answered my mother.
“I have thought of nothing else!” he snapped angrily as he continued down yet another of the many grand hallways in Afterlife. Yet this was one I recognised as leading towards the library. Which meant that this was it then, the moment that had haunted my dreams and my every thought since this day. The greatest heartbreak I had been forced to endure, despite what happened seven years ago. Now all I could hope for was that after witnessing this, I would still love him the way I couldn’t stop myself from doing before it.
Finally, they reached the library door and I knew this was it. It was time for me to witness the truth, one Lucius had been trying to get me to believe was not what I thought it was.
And it all started with a question.
“You love her?” my mum asked, and I sucked in a sharp breath, waiting for his reply. One that came quick and with certainty, as he shouted back,
“Of course I do, she’s my Chosen One!”
I swear, but just hearing those words and I knew that I didn’t need to see a single moment more, even though it continued. For Lucius had just told my mother of his love for me, not even said as a confession but more as a resounding statement. One that she looked to have already known.
And it was one that I knew in that moment, that the entire world should have known. It suddenly became so clear. What Lucius had been trying to do all this time. All he had wanted was to tell the world the truth, declaring me as his. But mainly to have been given the chance to declare his love for me to my father. That was what they had argued about. That was what every single word referred to. I knew that now. Every single word that had sounded like a secret love affair was all quickly turned on its head. I listened to it all playback to me and now that I knew the true context of it, it all became so clear.
His love for me was the only love he spoke of.
Not a secret love for my mother.
Gods, but I had been such a fool! The biggest of fools.
They had long ago entered the library and my mind raced as it made sense of every word spoken and it all led back to his love for me, not for her. And when it eventually came time for that fateful moment. The one that had devastated me, I now had the chance to see it from the angle I should have. Because now the ghost of my image stepped into my mother’s place and I watched as her hand raised to his cheek, offering comfort as an old friend, just like he had said it had been.
He then lowered into it, accepting it at the same time he told her,
“Amelia needs to know, and I can’t keep pretending anymore, especially here, it’s fucking killing me, Keira.” He was talking about pretending in front of my father, about not being able to tell the truth and tell him about me being his Chosen One.
I looked towards the staircase and I just saw a glimpse of myself as I kept my head turned away, hiding from the sight like a coward. I had foolishly let my past insecurities rule over my heart. Whereas, in fact, what I should have done instead of running from the fear of what might have happened, is stayed and discovered the real truth of what did happen. Because there must have been a better way than running scared.
I knew that now.
That was why Lucius had been so angry that day. Because I had put him through an equal amount of heartache and all because I didn’t trust him. No…because I hadn’t trusted myself to be worthy enough for him. When the truth of it all was, he too had held himself back all those years because he felt the same way. He believed that he had been the cause of what I had become, the parts of my soul that I had lost. That he had somehow done this to me and if I ever found out, then I wouldn’t just run from him, but I would run and never return. That my love for him would be lost in the shadows of my bitterness for the eternity he hoped to have with me.
Which was when I realised, I might not have trusted him enough to stay that day, but he hadn’t trusted me either. He hadn’t trusted me enough to love him despite the past. I now knew that our relationship would never have worked, not like this. Not when the foundations of our love were built upon a crumbling ground of lies and mistrust.
But that was all before.
All before this day, that I now knew the truth. The real depth of his love for me, something I knew it was now my chance to show in return. The guilt I felt was no doubt as immeasurable as his own. Only the difference was that mine would only last until I could tell him the words to make it all right again. Lucius’ guilt had lasted all my life.
All until this day, for anything beyond it I vowed was no more.
“Enough!” I suddenly shouted after closing my eyes on the past, fully intent on only looking towards the future.
I felt myself gasp as I staggered backwards after the Keepers of Three had finally released me once I had commanded them to do so.
“So now you see.”
“The same as us Keepers Three,” they said, only this time instead of the one who couldn’t speak even trying to, he merely nodded towards my destiny behind me, as if silently telling me the time had now come to make my move. But before then, I had to be sure of one last thing.
“And the Tree of Souls, you’re sure it is only me who can fix it?” I asked quietly, so Lucius wouldn’t hear. Because I knew why they had shown me how Lucius had damaged his hand. That had been the start of the infection. The Venom of God had spread, and it had taken nearly thirty years to reach the first of the souls he had turned in the Vampires.
“One sacrifice made to start an infection.”
“One sacrifice is born to end it.”
“Mit mmy tmay.”
The Keepers told me, as if seeing for themselves this all playing out in my mind. I nodded before taking a deep breath, telling them that I understood.
There was no other way.
I finally took a deep breath and turned around to face the man I loved and the sight that met my eyes nearly broke
me. Lucius was now down on his knees, looking exhausted as the tunnel around him was nearly in ruins from his rage. He knelt in a mass of crumbled rock and I had to wonder how the thing hadn’t caved in around him. He kept his head hung down, as if he couldn’t even bear to raise it up to witness my reaction to all I had been shown. Because he knew all that I had seen, I could see the devastation written across his pained face.
The one secret that he had hoped to keep from me, for what could have been for my entire life.
And in all honesty, I couldn’t find it in myself to blame him…
Not. At. All.
But he didn’t know that. Not yet anyway.
He heard me approach and without even looking at me, he started making his next vow.
“I will find a way,” he said, with his voice strained and hoarse.
“Lucius.” I uttered his name on a whisper, but it was one he ignored.
“I promise you, I will find a way to get you back, if it takes me a fucking eternity, I will do it! If you run, I will find you. If you leave, I will find some way to make you stay. If you say that you no longer love me, I will stop at nothing to make you give me your heart again. This I vow, Amelia…This I fucking vow with not only my own life, but also on every single one on that fucking Tree of Souls I own! I swear it to you on my blood.” At this I sucked in a shuddered breath as tears started to roll down my cheeks, and with emotions almost too thick to speak I knew I had to push through.
“Lucius, lo…look at me,” I asked, barely getting it out. He didn’t, but instead he tore his face to the side, as if he were too afraid to and I found my hands near shaking.
“I…I have something to say,” I told him, and he started shaking his head, as if he wasn’t yet prepared for it. I knew then that he would never be prepared for what he thought I was about to say…that I wanted to leave him. That I no longer loved him. Words that all seemed like his own personal nightmare and one he didn’t want to face.
But he couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Lucius, please…please, look at me,” I pleaded this time and he physically tensed before finally he granted me my wish. And I swear the sight caused me to hold my breath, as I hadn’t expected to see the unshed tears in his eyes, tears that he looked too ashamed to show me. It was then that I could stand it no longer and the sight brought me to my fucking knees. There I was, just a foot away from him, with a barrier shimmering between us and all I wanted was to throw myself into his arms. All I wanted was to put my hand on his cheek and caress away the single tear I knew was threatening to fall. I wanted to place my forehead against his as I framed his face with my hands and told him everything I felt with my lips against his skin.
But in the end, all I had to rely on was the strength of my words.
“Gods, Lucius…I am so sorry!” I cried making him suddenly jerk back as if he was questioning every word I’d said. He frowned through it in that questioning way of his, before he whispered in disbelief,
“What…what did you say?” The sound of his utter uncertainty again broke something in me as I sobbed harder and my hands shook,
“Lucius…oh, Honey… I am so fucking sorry!” I shouted this time and I wished I had been free to slip through the portal just so I could have said it to him whilst finding comfort in his arms. But I knew that I wouldn’t have made it through. Not when the fate of his life rested upon me to save it.
“Amelia?” He said my name still in question as I covered my face and cried.
“Oh, my Khuba, my sweet girl, why do you cry? Because you think this is goodbye?” his gentle voice asked me, and my head bolted upright.
“No!” I shouted suddenly and then I let my anger at the idea fuel my emotions further and snapped,
“You will never fucking leave me! Do you hear me, Lucius! You will never leave me, and I will never be so foolish as to ever leave you again!”
“What?” Lucius asked in disbelief as though he could barely believe what he was hearing.
“I was a fool, so fucking foolish to believe…well, to believe what I thought I saw…I was so wrong! I was wrong about it all. You were only trying to tell everyone the truth about us and I took it the wrong way, I let my stupid insecurities get the better of me and push me into thinking I could never be good enough for you, not like my mother… so I ran. I ran because I was scared, no I was fucking terrified! So, I ran…I ran from you…ran from the only man I’ve ever loved.” After I finished telling him this, he closed his eyes and that single tear he had been holding prisoner slipped free. Falling at the same time as he took in a deep shuddered breath. Then he looked up at the ceiling and whispered,
“Thank the Gods, she saw the truth of that day.”
“I did! I saw it all.” Lucius frowned before opening his eyes and looking back at me, a pained expression taking hold of his features before he said,
“You didn’t see it all, Amelia, for if you had, then you would not be saying all of these things…you would be running again,” he said sounding pained and I knew what he was now talking about. Especially when he added,
“You didn’t see what I did to you.” I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and shook my head before telling him,
“Lucius, I did see…I saw it all.”
“No,” he answered firmly, as if completely unwilling to believe that if I had seen, then I wouldn’t be acting this way now.
“Lucius, listen to me, the day you first saw me, when I was only a baby…” he sucked in a harsh breath realising that what I had been saying was true.
“…I saw what happened and…” I tried to say but he interrupted me,
“No! No, it can’t be…how can you be here saying all this to me now, after what I did to you…after what I took from you?!” he demanded in a severe way as if it were impossible.
“Lucius, it wasn’t your fault, it was mine.” At this he growled before tearing his eyes from mine, turning his face away as if he couldn’t entertain it.
“I saw it all, I bit you, Lucius,” I told him trying again to get him to listen to me. But he sliced a hand through the air and snapped,
“No! It was my fault, I should have been more careful, I never should have touched you!”
“Lucius, come on, you didn’t ask for what happened to happen, it just did. I bit you and something was taken from me, but it wasn’t your fault…it was just all fated and…” Again, he cut me off as if it pained him to hear me blaming myself.
“Amelia, you need to stop.”
“No, Lucius! It’s you that needs to start fucking listening to me and right now! This wasn’t your fault and I don’t blame you, so why do you blame yourself? It does not and will never change how I feel about you, how much I fucking love you!” At this he finally looked at me and I could see now that desperate spark of hope in his eyes before I told him,
“You have to trust that I will always love you, no matter what…Hell, even when I thought you’d kissed my mother, I still couldn’t stop myself from loving you! Nothing will ever change that, and you need to trust me when I say that,” I said again, getting more and more worked up as I did and I knew that if I had been able to touch him, then I would have probably started shaking him by now!
He took a deep breath, making the heavyweight of his shoulders rise and fall before telling me,
“Then step through the barrier, Amelia and say it whilst my arms are around you, for this feels more like a dream than the reality you are trying to get me to believe it is.” I released a deep sigh as I knew this was where things were about to get complicated.
This was where I couldn’t use actions to strengthen the claim of my words. And my reasons he would soon find to be…
A Hellish, harsh reality.
Chapter 10
On the Other Side of Heartbreak
I took one look at his outstretched hand, waiting for my own to fill it and hated that I couldn’t give him what he wished for. Hell, but it was what I wished for too, as I wanted nothing more right in th
at moment than to step through this damn thing and cry in his arms. To prove my commitment to him and back up my words with actions. But I knew that if I did that, then he would never let me go. He would never let me do what I knew was needed to save not only his race but also his life. And well, after everything I’d just learned, then it wasn’t only my mother’s life that was linked to his but mine as well.
All I could hope for was that I could get Lucius to understand this and that started with telling him the thing he hated the most…
No.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, Lucius.” He fisted his hand and let it drop before snapping,
“Why the fuck not!?” I released a sigh knowing just how difficult this conversation was going to be.
“Lucius, please, I can’t do that right now, you know I can’t.”
“Yes, you fucking can! Look, just reach for my hand and take it, I will have enough power to pull you through, I am certain,” Lucius said raising his hand to me once more and I found my own fisting at my side so I wouldn’t be tempted to just reach out and try it.
So instead I looked behind me and asked,
“Is he right, could he pull me through?” The Keepers of Three all nodded and then said,
“As the Souls’ Keeper he has that power.”
“But not the power to save us all.” At this, Lucius roared in anger before the mumbler had a chance to try and speak. Then he ordered,
“Silence! She is coming with me!”
“What if what they say is true, what if I am the only one who can…?” I started to say but again Lucius wasn’t having any of it.
“NO! No, Amelia, no fucking way am I going to let that happen! Now you listen to me, we will figure this out, but we will do it together once you have first given me your hand,” he snapped, getting angry and I looked back at the glowing portal that obviously led into Hell.
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