by Ash, Nikki
I get off of him and turn around to see a huge smile on his face. He grabs my ass cheeks pulling me onto his lap to straddle him. He kisses me deeply until the shower begins to go cold and we both quickly finish washing off and get out.
We are all sitting down to breakfast at a little restaurant at the base of the mountain. The closer you get the crazier the mountain looks. I have never skied before but how much harder can it be than surfing?
We haven’t even gotten comfortable yet when Liz is the first to notice the beautiful multi-carat princess cut ring on my finger.
“Bentley! What happened to the plan?” She lets out a frustrated huff that makes me giggle.
Yep! I freaking giggle. That’s what Bentley does to me. Turns me in a giggling lovesick emotional woman, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“She happened.” Bentley nods to me like that is the answer to all of life’s questions.
“We had a plan!”
“Well she walked out of the bathroom in this black see through nightgown and the plan was shot to hell. It’s not my fault. It’s hers.”
The guys all laugh. The girls still look mad.
“Hey, it’s ok. It was romantic and sweet and I said yes.”
Everybody congratulates us and then we order breakfast before heading to the slopes.
* * *
I would like it to be known on record that skiing and snowboarding are NOTHING like surfing. While the snow here is absolutely gorgeous, I have given up on trying to do anything on that damn mountain that’s full of it; it’s much better to look at then try to ride on. I will stick to the water thank you very much. After a couple hours of falling on my ass over and over again I gave up and told Bentley to have a blast. We can still make this a family tradition but I will be spending my time indoors by the fireplace with a hot cup of coffee.
Which is exactly what Liz, Hayley, and I are all doing right now; sitting in the resort’s lobby drinking a hot coffee by the fireplace gossiping like the girls we are.
“I can’t believe Ashley is still out there trying to snowboard. Maybe Kaden is a better teacher,” Liz says.
“I am glad she has Kaden. They have become good friends. She needs someone like him. I don’t know what her ex did to her but she deserves to be happy.”
“What about you? Are you happy?” Liz questions.
“I am happy.” And for the first time in a long time it’s the truth.
“Before Bentley it felt like I was just going through the motions but with him it’s so much more.”
“I am so happy for you. I never imagined we would both be with amazing guys, have kids, and soon both of us will be married.”
“Yeah, we have come a long way from the scared eighteen year olds taking care of Bella on our own.”
“That’s for damn sure.”
I look over at Hayley and she’s kind of checked out staring at the ceiling.
“Hayley, what about you? Are you happy?”
She ponders the question for a few seconds before shrugging her shoulders.
“I think I am. I have a nice home, a good job, parents that are loving and supportive. I just feel like I am missing something. I want a guy to come home to, a baby to kiss and love on. I am thirty-two years old and I am scared it’s not going to happen. I gave up all my younger years to focus on school, and then medical school. I just wonder if it was worth it.”
I move closer to Hayley to give her a hug and then Liz joins in. “It’s going to happen, Hayley. If it could happen for me, it can happen for you.”
“Yes! Seriously! If the queen of anti-love can fall in love, it can happen for anybody!” Liz says.
We all laugh and once we end our group hug we continue our gossiping until the guys and Ashley return ready for dinner.
The rest of the weekend flies by and before I know it we are back home and are picking up Faith from Kathleen and Ryan’s house. We announce our engagement and they are both overjoyed.
Kathleen gives me a hug and through happy tears says, “Welcome to the family… officially.”
Ryan is next and when he hugs me he whispers, “I have always wanted to have a daughter. Thank you.”
I am choked up and overwhelmed with the amount of love this small family holds within them. I am quite sure the conversation with my parents won’t be this heartfelt.
“So, when are you guys thinking of getting married?” Kathleen asks as we walk to the door to say our goodbyes.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to wait too long. I was thinking maybe a February wedding? Something small for sure.”
Bentley, of course, says, “You can have any wedding you want. If you want small we can have small, but if you want a big wedding we can do that.”
I am starting to realize Bentley isn’t worried about money at all. I can tell his parents have money and based on our trip and the fact that he can stay home with Faith on his savings shows me he is good with money but he must realize it will run out eventually.
“We’ll see. There’s no reason to waste money. Especially with us only having one income.”
Bentley’s mom looks a bit confused but simply says, “Sweetie, you’ll only get married once. Do it the way you want to.”
We say goodbye and head home. If I am honest with myself I don’t really care about the wedding. I just want to be married to Bentley and share a last name with him and our daughter.
Twenty
Kayla
The next couple weeks quickly pass by. Work is going great, Faith is almost six months old, and Christmas is right around the corner. Of course, with all the good there must be bad to balance it out, which is why I am not surprised when I get a call from my mom a few days before Christmas.
“Why did I have to hear it from your brother you are getting married?”
“I’m sorry, mom. I have just been so busy with work and Faith and Bentley.”
“Well I would imagine so when you are the only person working in the family.”
I let out a small sigh knowing exactly where this is going. “Mom, Bentley might not be working but he is still paying all the bills. He also has refused to let me pay for any of the Christmas presents, and last week when my car was acting up we went out and bought me a brand-new BMW SUV. He is refusing to let me make the payment even though it’s in my name.”
“Kayla, I understand you think you are in love so your blinders are on but what happens if it doesn’t work out? Can you afford the car payment to the vehicle that is in your name? Can you afford a place if he kicks you out of his apartment? You even work at the gym his best friend owns. After all the years of hearing your father and I tell you our stories you would think you would be smarter than this. Please don’t act stupid.”
I want to argue with her but my insecurity begins to creep in and she can be a real bitch. Am I putting all my metaphorical eggs into Bentley’s basket and simply hoping he doesn’t drop it?
“I am going to marry him, mom. So, what do you suggest I do?”
“Why don’t I draw up a prenuptial agreement for you?”
“Mom… I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“Just hear me out. It will detail that if your marriage doesn’t work how the custody arrangement and child support will go. It will cover you so that if you split up he can’t go after you for money because you have been working and he hasn’t been. This is what I do for a living, Kayla.”
I don’t like the thought of starting a marriage with a paper stating what will happen if it ends but it won’t hurt to check it out. “Ok, mail it to me and I will check it out. I am not saying I am going to use it but I will check it out.”
“Thank you, Kayla.”
“Are you and dad coming up for Christmas?”
“No, we have some major cases to handle. Holidays are a busy time for divorce. Once the Christmas spirit has worn off and people are just left with the debt their true colors shine through and more often than not it tends to end with divorce.”
“Ok, Kayla.”
And without even a goodbye or I love you she is gone.
Bentley
It’s Christmas morning and while Faith is only six months old that didn’t stop us from buying her every gift possible in her age range plus several others she won’t be ready for, for several months. Last night we had Christmas Eve dinner with everybody at Liz and Cooper’s place. They have the large dining room so naturally it’s where we all go for each holiday, either there or my parents’ place.
What nobody knows is soon we will have one more place to go. As an engagement gift I have purchased a home for us. What’s awesome is it’s right down the street from Cooper and Liz. When we were driving by it a few weeks ago, Kayla pointed out how pretty it was and I knew I had to check it out. It turns out the inside was recently completely renovated and is move-in ready. I signed on the dotted lines and have the keys wrapped up as one of her gifts to surprise her.
I plan to add Kayla’s name to the deed but I have to wait because I don’t want to give away the surprise.
“Bent, can you go grab my camera from my pajama drawer? I threw it in there the other day,” Kayla asks while holding onto Faith as she swipes at the wrapping paper laughing at the ripping sound it makes.
“Sure.” I run over to our room and open the drawer that holds all her pajamas but I don’t see the camera. Maybe she meant her lingerie drawer? I open up that drawer and sure enough I find the camera. I am about to close it when I see a large manila envelope addressed to her from her parents’ law firm.
Opening it up, I see a contract between Kayla and me. The only thing missing are our signatures. As I skim through the attorney bullshit lingo, I see shit like custody arrangements, child support, alimony depending on the length of the marriage, and then a clause stating I give up the right to request money because I am choosing to be unemployed. What the fuck? She had her mother draw up a fucking prenuptial agreement?
I grab the stack of papers and bring them over to the dresser, find a pen, and begin writing. Once I am done I grab a suitcase and pack it then walk across the hall over to Faith’s room to pack some stuff for her as well. I am so fucking pissed I can’t be here with this woman another fucking second.
I zip up the luggage and head to the living room. Caleb is sitting on the couch laughing as Faith crawls across the floor to get to the new toys we have already opened. He looks up and smiles at me. He doesn’t smile often but Faith tends to bring out the softie in him. I don’t even have it in me to smile back.
I walk over to Faith and pick her up. She squeals from the shock of flying through the air into my arms. I hold her close and inhale her perfect baby scent. “I love you baby girl. I will see you soon.” I give her a kiss on her cheek and set her back down.
“Hey, did you find the camera?” Kayla asks looking back at me while picking up some of the trash. There is so much I want to say to her but I won’t do it in front of our daughter. She may be too young to understand but I will never put her in the middle of our fights.
“Yeah, here you go. I gotta go.” I throw the camera to her and her eyebrows furrow together out of confusion.
“Wait, go where? It’s Christmas morning.” She stands up to come closer to me but I can’t handle this right now.
I back up towards the door. “I am going to stay at my parents’ house for a couple days while I get my place ready. I will let you know where to drop Faith off when you go back to work.”
Caleb doesn’t say a word. He just sits and watches the conversation.
Kayla looks scared, although I don’t know why. She was so scared of getting her heart broken every step of the way. Meanwhile she had no problem breaking mine over and over again.
“What’s going on?” She asks her voice thick with emotion.
I glance back down at our daughter oblivious to what is happening. “I don’t want to argue with you in front of Faith. We are done. I’m done.”
I walk out the door and it takes everything in me not to slam it shut and then beat the shit out of everything within my reach.
As I drive over to my parents’ house I can hear my phone buzzing next to me but I can’t answer it. Not yet, anyway. I know eventually I will have to. Regardless of what happens, Kayla and I will be in each other’s lives until the day we die in some way or another. We have a child together. There are going to be birthdays, holidays, graduations, hopefully Faith’s wedding one day down the road (far down the road), maybe grandkids. I know I am going to have to get along with Kayla but right now I am too fucking hurt.
What I just don’t get is why she didn’t mention anything to me about a prenup. Doesn’t she see that by drawing up a contract for if or when we divorce she is already setting us up for failure? And how ironic is it if anybody should be requesting a damn prenup it should be me, yet that thought never even crossed my mind. I would give that woman anything she wants.
I arrive to my parents’ house and after knocking a couple times I go in. My mom comes out of the kitchen in her apron.
“Hey sweetie! Merry Christmas! I wasn’t expecting everybody until later. This is a pleasant surprise. Where’s Faith and Kayla?”
Shit! I forgot we are supposed to be coming here for Christmas dinner.
I rub the back of my neck out of stress and my mom’s eyes go wide from my action.
“Bentley, what happened?”
“I think it’s really over, mom.”
She bridges the gap between us and like the mom I know and love hugs me tight. I feel so damn defeated. There’s not a single fight I have been in that makes me feel as weak and vulnerable as Kayla does without even trying.
We separate and there’s a knock on the door. There’s no fucking way it could be Kayla. Surely, she would know not to show up here after I left.
My mom goes to the door and opens it, and sure enough it’s Kayla at the door holding Faith in her arms. Faith is giggling and squirming wanting my mom to take her.
They both look at me and I have no idea how to handle this. My mom must sense my frustration because she takes Faith from Kayla and walks out of the room to give us some privacy.
“Bentley, what the hell happened?” Kayla walks up to me and goes to put her hands on me. I backup out of her reach and the look of hurt she gives me almost brings me to my knees.
“What happened? What happened was the prenup you had in your drawer all filled out just waiting for me to sign.”
She at least has the decency to look embarrassed at the fact that I know.
“Please let me explain. My mom…”
“No, I don’t need or want an explanation. The fact that you even have it is enough for me. Did you hide this to get back at me for hiding being in that stupid mom’s group? You had your mom draw up papers for when we divorce one day! You never thought we would last did you? I honestly don’t even know why I ever bothered.”
She cringes like she’s been slapped and I know I have probably stepped over the line.
“Wow… Ok… well it’s clear you have it all figured out so I will just go.”
I know she is waiting for me to stop her but it’s not going to happen. When she knows this as well she nods her head once. I can see the tears in her eyes but she’s strong so they don’t release before she heads to the kitchen to go get Faith.
I walk out back and find the closest thing to me to take my anger out on. I punch the aluminum storage cabinet over and over again until I hear my dad’s voice.
“Well it’s a good thing I was planning on replacing that thing with a new wooden one. Once you’re all done we can talk.”
I stop punching the storage cabinet that is now completely mutilated and grab a towel to wipe my bloodied hand on. I have a seat across from my dad at the patio table and drop my head to the table.
“Wanna tell me why Kayla is in the kitchen with your mom bawling her eyes out?”
I look up at him and shake m
y head slightly out of frustration. “How do you make someone believe that love is enough?”
He gives me a sad smile. “You can’t. All you can do is love that person and show her every day that you love her. Nobody said love was easy, son.”
“It’s easy for you and mom.”
He chuckles softly and shakes his head. “No, it’s not. We just chose to never give up. I try to live by the five rules my dad once gave me to have a successful marriage. Don’t be angry with each other at the same time, never go to bed without resolving the issue, never yell at each other unless the house is on fire, never bring up the past, and most importantly always listen to understand. Don’t listen to simply respond.”
I can’t help but laugh at the one about the house on fire.
He gets up and pats me on the shoulder but before he goes back inside he says, “You always knew she was a little broken. I am not saying that’s a bad thing. Nobody is perfect. Now it’s up to you to love her broken or let her go so somebody else can. You have to accept people the way they are, cracks and all.”
Damn him for always being right.
Twenty-One
Kayla
As soon as Bentley left I grabbed my keys, the diaper bag, and Faith, and chased after him. It didn’t surprise me that he ended up at his mom’s house. I would be damned if I was going to lose him now. I didn’t know what I did wrong but I was going to find out.
I knocked on the door and was faced with his mom and then him. After she left and he said the word prenup I wanted to throw up. Why the hell didn’t I just throw those papers away? I know why! Because I am so messed up when it comes to relationships that I will always end up sabotaging anything good that comes my way including having an amazing man like Bentley.
I can’t blame Bentley for being mad. The papers do look bad especially since I didn’t even mention them. He was completely blindsided by them, and I know I would be upset if I found something like that without being told. I know how I felt when I found out about the mom’s group and that’s not half as bad as finding a prenup in your fiancée’s drawer. The truth is I haven’t even had a chance to look at them. I threw them in the drawer and completely forgot about them.