by Ash, Nikki
I feel like all I ever do is hurt Bentley. He loves so hard and so deep and I am always fucking it up.
After Bentley made it a point to hurt me with his words, I headed to the kitchen to get Faith. I am now sitting in the kitchen watching Kathleen feed Faith a sugar cookie she made and suddenly feel like I just need to get out of here by myself. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong in this sweet, loving, selfless home. I am damaged and I can’t blame Bentley for no longer wanting damaged goods. He deserves perfection.
I stand up ready to go when Kathleen pops her head up and directs her attention away from Faith to me. “He just needs time, sweetie. Don’t overthink this. He’s just hurt. He might be a fighter and look tough on the outside but he’s always had a sensitive soul.”
I nod in agreement. She’s right. You watch him in a fight and you would think he is nothing more than a heartless asshole but the moment the fight is over he’s back to himself. He deserves more than this shit. He deserves more than I can ever give him. I give Faith a kiss on her forehead and gather up my belongings.
“I am going to go. I have to work tomorrow even though it’s Saturday. One of the fighters at the gym just got done with surgery on his knee and I agreed to start physical therapy with him tomorrow. I am going to leave Faith here with you guys. Bentley should be with her on Christmas.”
I start to walk out the door and she stops me. “Please don’t go. You shouldn’t be alone on Christmas.”
I choke down the sobs that are threatening and shake my head. “It’s ok. It’s for the best.”
I grab my keys and walk out the door without looking back and head home. I find Caleb sitting on the couch watching TV.
“Everything ok?” he asks.
I shake my head no and he opens his arm up and nods his head to join him. I sit down on the couch wrapped up in Caleb’s arms and cry for everything that could have been and everything that will most likely never happen.
The next day after work I decide to go to Liz’s house to spend time with her and the babies. When I get there, I see Faith crawling all over the ground in the living room. I immediately scoop her up and give her big kisses on her cheeks.
“Where’s Bentley?” I ask looking around.
“Him and Cooper had some stuff to do so he asked me to watch her.”
“He could have told me. I am capable of watching our daughter,” I snap. Liz looks at me with a frown unsure of what to say.
“I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
She gives me a hug. “I think he just figured you would be working.”
“No, he is mad and doesn’t want to contact me.”
“Want to talk about it?”
We sit down on the couch watching the babies play while I explain to her about the prenup and how Bentley found it before I could throw it away.
“I know I should have thrown it away but…”
“No, you should have told your mom you didn’t want it to begin with,” Liz says cutting me off.
I know she is right. I just can’t help but get caught in my mom’s web of negativity.
“I think I was afraid if I didn’t take it and he screwed me over she would once again let me know how stupid I am for making the wrong choices.”
“At some point, Kayla, you are going to have to realize your mom is pretty damn jaded. She isn’t happy and you know it. Sure, she is successful by her standards but not by most other people’s. Do you really want to live your life by her standards?”
“No, I don’t. I love Bentley and my life with him.”
“Just give him a few days to cool off and then go talk to him.”
* * *
It’s been three days since Christmas and I haven’t heard a word from Bentley. After I left Liz’s on Saturday I went home to sulk in bed. I found the prenup on the dresser with a note.
Kayla,
I would have given you the world and you didn’t need a contract to get any of this from me. Money doesn’t buy happiness. I hope you find your happiness one day. I am sorry it couldn’t be with me.
-Bentley
I ripped up the stupid contract and threw it in the garbage and stayed in bed for the next twenty-four hours crying. I did what Liz suggested and gave Bentley a few days to cool down but I have reached my breaking point. It’s now Monday and I am off work for the next couple days. He doesn’t have to see me but I want to see Faith. I decide to text him instead of calling in case he doesn’t want to talk to me.
Me: Hey, I’m sorry to bother you. I just got off work and I have tomorrow off. Can I take Faith?
After a few minutes, my phone dings.
Bentley: Yeah, you can pick her up at this address. It’s where I am living now.
I copy and paste the address into Google Maps and see it’s in the same neighborhood as Liz and Cooper. Hmm… that’s weird. How did he find a place so fast?
Me: Ok, is now good?
Bentley: Sure, see you in a few.
I am heading out of the gym when I see Marco and Caleb fighting in the ring. Marco practically lives at the gym these days and totally looks up to Caleb. As a mother, I can’t imagine my child being away from home so often, and Caleb has made several comments that Marco’s mom doesn’t ever drop him off or pick him up.
“Go Marco! Kick his butt!” I yell rooting for him. They both smile and wave at me.
Caleb has been my saving grace the last few days. He has really turned out to be an amazing friend and he never judges which is something I really need right now. After I finished crying on his shoulder he told me I am welcome to stay as long as I need to. It means a lot since he is Bentley’s friend and could easily write me off. I know he doesn’t really seem to trust many women so it means a lot to me that he trusts me.
I follow my GPS and pull up to the beautiful house I have passed a million times on my way to Liz and Cooper’s place. It is two stories tall and made of mostly tan brick except the front archway, which is made of gorgeous cobblestone. It has a three-car garage and a huge U-shaped driveway. The best part is it’s completely fenced in. I can see Faith riding her bike one day in the driveway or playing with chalk on there, and being completely safe. I haven’t been in the house but I know it has a fireplace because the cobblestone from the front archway also covers the outside of the chimney on the side of the house.
I pull up and there’s a keypad and call button, so I press the button and within seconds it buzzes and the electric gate opens and then closes behind me.
I park my vehicle and then knock on the front door.
Bentley opens the door with Faith in his arms and as soon as she spots me she starts making all sorts of noises putting her arms out for me to grab her. I take her and wrap her in a huge hug never wanting to let her go. I don’t even realize I am crying until I feel Bentley wipe the traitor tears that are trailing down my cheeks.
I walk into the home and it’s just how I pictured it, if not even more beautiful, and what’s crazy is that it’s furnished.
“Did you move in here this weekend?” I ask in shock.
“Yeah, I didn’t completely furnish it yet. I just bought the basics.”
“Well it looks great. You did all that quickly. Were you planning to leave me?”
He glares at me like I have lost my mind but what else am I supposed to think? Who buys a house and moves in completely within two days of moving out.
“No, Kayla. This house was supposed to be our engagement present. The house key is under the tree. Did you even bother to open the presents I got you?”
“I haven’t touched anything under the tree since you left. You bought this house for us? This must have cost you a fortune.”
He sighs and closes his eyes briefly. I think it’s to calm himself down. Faith is squirming in my arms to get down so I set her down on the blanket in the room and she immediately crawls over to her toys to bang on them.
“'I don’t know what to do, Kayla. I’ve tried to show you
how much you mean to me, but it’s never enough. It doesn't matter how much I love you, I don’t think you will ever truly feel the same way. You will always view love negatively. I can love you with all my heart but I can't make you love me back. I can't make you have faith in what we have. That fact is I haven't done anything to support your bullshit negative theories about love.”
His words break my heart. How can he think I don’t love him? He’s not done talking so I let him continue.
“The truth is I am a very wealthy man. I come from old money that has been passed down from generation to generation. On top of that I have made quite a few good investments that have worked out in my favor. I have more money than I can ever spend, and one day Faith will have it all passed down to her.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He moves closer to me and it takes everything in me not to grab ahold of him and never let go.
“Maybe I should have told you from the beginning, I don’t know. If you had known maybe this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. I thought if you knew it would scare you off so I kept it to myself. The only people that know are the guys. Even when I funded the youth program at Cooper’s gym I kept it anonymous. I don’t want my money to define me and I don’t want to be judged for having it.
“I wanted you to love me for me and to be comfortable with us. And then to see a fucking prenup is a punch to my face. It sucks so badly. I wanted you forever. What’s mine was supposed to be yours. I don’t give a fuck about my money. All I wanted was you and Faith. I just wanted your love. One side of me is saying I need to move on but the other side is telling me not to give up on us because I can’t imagine living a life without you by my side. I just can’t do this alone.”
I should probably be mad that he kept his money situation from me but at the same time I can see where he is coming from. I have been hot and cold with him from day one. I can’t blame him for overthinking his choices.
We are now so close I could kiss him and it’s such a tease because being this close to Bentley and not being able to touch him is torture.
I go to speak but my throat feels dry so I clear it and then begin. “I never thought love could ever be a part of me. I was just going through the motions and thought I was smart. No love meant never being hurt. But then you came along and showed me over and over again how amazing unconditional real love can feel. Please don't take that away Bentley. Please don't give up on me. I am sorry it’s taking me so long to get on the same page as you but I really am trying. I promise. We can sign a different prenup. One that protects you and shows you I just want you and not your money.”
“Woman, you aren’t getting it.” He looks into my eyes and then gives me a soft kiss on my lips.
“I don’t care about the money, Kayla. I don’t need or want any contract that states what will happen if we divorce. When I marry you, it’s forever. And if you leave me you can take it all. A life without you and Faith isn’t a life at all. It’s my job to protect you and our daughter. We shouldn’t need a piece of paper to protect either of us from the other.”
This man could have anybody in the world, anything in the world, and the only person he wants is me, and live a life with me and our daughter. I may not deserve him but I am going to spend every day earning his love.
I don’t know what to say so I do the only thing I can think of and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him with all the love I have for this man built up inside of me. His body stills in shock at first but after a second he relaxes and kisses me back. When we separate I feel like a piece of me is missing. I want to be tied to this man in every way.
“Let’s get married.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy and then laughs. “Umm… I am pretty sure that was the plan.”
“No, I mean today. Well not today because it’s already too late in the day, but tomorrow. Let’s get married tomorrow. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want a wedding or any of that craziness. I just want you, me, Faith, your parents, and our friends at a Chapel on the strip.”
He grins wide and it melts my heart to see him smile. I vow in that moment to make him smile like that every chance I get.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. This is what I want… I mean if you still want to marry me that is…”
“Woman, stop. You want to elope that’s what we will do. The sooner I can make you officially mine the better. Let’s call my parents and our friends, and then find a chapel we can reserve for tomorrow.”
He wraps his hand around my neck and pulls me close to him, again. “Want a tour of our new home?”
“Yeah, I do. But what I would really like is the special hands-on tour after Faith goes to bed.”
He barks out a laugh. “Oh, that can definitely be arranged.”
He grabs Faith and we go from room to room as he shows me our new home.
Epilogue
Bentley
“Do you Bentley Cruz take Kayla Peterson to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love and cherish, from this day forward until death do you part?”
“I do.”
It is New Year’s Eve and I am looking at the most beautiful woman in the world who is about to become my wife. I tried to get her to do it right by having the wedding at the Bellagio or even the Wynn but she wasn’t having it. According to Kayla, if we are going to elope we are going to do it Vegas style. Which is why I am currently standing in front of the ordained minister in the Little Church of The West with our family and friends, and by our family I mean Kayla’s brother, Zach, and my parents. While she wanted to get married the very next day, once her brother said he would like to attend we decided to hold off a couple days so he could fly over and give her away since her parents don’t approve of the marriage and refused to be a part of it.
After I showed her around our new home, Kayla explained that her mom insisted on sending the prenup over to her in case things didn’t work out. She said she planned to rip them up but felt guilty about not listening to her mom’s advice. We agreed there would be no more listening to her mom’s advice and when Kayla called to let her mom know we were eloping she flipped out. I took the phone from Kayla and made it clear to her mother that her negativity towards love and towards her daughter was no longer welcome.
We decided to have the ceremony at the Church and then hold the reception-slash-New Year’s Eve party at our new place. There is no other way I would rather bring in the New Year than with Kayla as my wife and surrounded by the people who love us.
“Do you Kayla Peterson take Bentley Cruz to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love and cherish, from this day forward until death do you part?”
“I do,” she states excitedly with the most beautiful smile on her face.
I slide the wedding band on her finger that matches the engagement ring and then she slides my wedding band onto my finger. The ordained minister announces us husband and wife and tells me I can kiss my bride.
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I take my wife in my arms and kiss her hoping to pass along every emotion I feel in this moment through our kiss. Everybody claps and Faith and Nathan both squeal and clap as well copying off of everybody else. We grab Faith from my mom and give her a kiss.
Liz takes a few pictures of the three of us and then some with my parents and Kayla’s brother before we all head back to our house to celebrate.
We arrive at the house and a few minutes later everybody else is pulling up to join us. I notice Caleb isn’t here yet.
“Hey, has anybody seen Caleb?”
Nobody has heard from him since we left the church so I shoot him a text.
Me: Yo! Where are you? We are all at the house?
I wait a few minutes and when I don’t hear back from him I send him another text.
Me: Caleb! Everything ok?
I still don’t hear back from him a
nd I start to worry. I ring his cell but it goes to voicemail.
Kayla comes over and puts her arms around me from behind. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t get ahold of Caleb.”
“He probably just stopped off at home.”
“Yeah, you are probably right.”
Just as I am about to call him again he comes walking in the door looking stressed.
“Hey man! What happened? Did you get lost?”
“No, sorry, I had to stop at the gym on my way here. Marco didn’t realize the gym was closed because of the Holiday and Wedding so I gave him a ride home.”
Over the last several months Marco and Caleb have definitely grown closer. When he isn’t attending the MMA classes he is helping out around the gym cleaning windows and washing towels. I know Cooper doesn’t need the help but if it means Marco is safe and off the streets he will continue to find stuff for the kid to do.
“It’s a good thing you do for that kid, man.” And that’s the truth. Caleb makes sure the kid is home safe every day even if it means he follows him home without the kid knowing.
“Yeah, I just wish there was more I could do.”
“Like what? What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know… I just don’t know.” He shakes his head looking defeated and I know that the conversation is over for now.
We head to the backyard to join everyone in celebrating our wedding as well as New Years. The radio counts down and when it hits midnight I give my wife a kiss. Everybody is cheering and hollering but I can’t stop kissing her. She moans into my mouth and I grab her by the ass and lift her into my arms. She wraps her legs around my waist and I know I need to have her now.
“Bentley, stop.” She chuckles but continues to grind her pussy into my stomach clearly wanting me to continue.