Forgotten Memories

by Candis Vargo

“Why don’t you ask him about it? I think he was referring to you, saying she was still going through with it, sounds like you and the marriage. But I thought your Mother was for it. Like I said, it doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I don’t know. But I don’t have a good feeling about it. Whatever it is.” Just thinking of it made my stomach twist with unease.

  “I’d keep an ear out; see if you find anything else out.”

  “Yeah, I will. So, what are you looking at?” I said, pointing to her book of spells.

  “I decided I would go ahead and look at some references to your little problem. You know, the one with the whacked out brain. All I can come across is the same stuff I already know, a spell or compulsion coming undone. I’m not getting anywhere with this. It hasn’t happened again, has it?”

  “No it hasn’t. I told you I’d let you know if it does.”

  “Alright,” she hopped off of the bed. “Hate to bail, but I have to meet you know who.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Go, get out of here. Enjoy your boyfriend! Jerk.”

  “Don’t hate just because I’m not forced to be with someone I don’t want to be with. Not my fault you’re being married off.” she paused and looked at me concerned. “I used to find the idea romantic. Now, I hate it Karma. I wish you wouldn’t do it. You disserve to be happy. Not pretend to be. That’s enough from me now. I’m leaving!”

  She walked out the door before I had the chance to say anything. She was right and I knew it. I didn’t even want to marry Roland. He is a nice guy, but not the guy for me; he never was. I started to wonder if there was any way for me to get out of it; to be able to choose who I get to be with for eternity.

  Any other pixie gets to choose. Why not me? And what if this is what Father was talking about? What if Mother really didn’t want this for me?

  Before I could finish my thoughts Em tip toed her way back into my bedroom, closing the door as quietly as she could.

  “Speak of the devil, and ye shall receive,” she whispered, pointing to my window.

  “What?”

  She quietly walked over toward my window, waiving for me to follower her. I did, trying to be as quiet as she is. Looking out, I saw Roland’s car in the driveway.

  “What is he doing here?” I asked.

  Opening up her book of magic, she grabs a pen off of my desk and started to write.

  Roland and his big bad daddy are here.

  Looking at her, I mouthed “What?” as my curiosity has peaked.

  No idea. Let me eavesdrop on them!

  I looked at her and saw her practically begging me. Hands held together, bottom lip puckered out.

  Mouthing back to her, “I want to know everything!” A huge grin played across her face.

  Luckily, I keep extra candles around my room for her. Placing herself in a circle of six white candles, she began to quietly chant:

  “The guardian that’s hidden hear me now,

  Show me the mysteries that are hidden beneath,

  Find me for that I look for now

  Par la Lune, le Soleil, la Terre, l'Air, le Feu et la Mer

  By the moon, the sun, the earth, the air, the fire and the sea.”

  The flames on the candle shot up a few inches high as they began to flicker, sending sparks into the air. Em was sitting with her legs cross and her hands on her knees as she took a huge gasp of air. I don’t know what exactly happens to her but I can honestly say that the more magic I watched her do, the creepier it would get.

  Pixie magic is nothing like that of the witches. Pixies simply will it, and it gets done. Our spirits don’t leave our bodies, like what Em was doing right now. Along with the glamour, we can fly and transport from one place to another in a flash. Pixies have the ability to have people do what we will them to do, but it’s against our laws to use that power and it’s punishable by death. Our fighting strength is another, thought I wouldn’t really consider that magic. Just an enhanced ability we get. Other than that, we don’t have much. Unless, of course, you include living for eternity or until someone decides to end your eternal soul.

  Apparently Roland and my father were taking a long time doing whatever it was they were doing. Em has been out of it for a while now. I am getting more anxious wondering what is going on.

  What could they be talking about that is taking this long? It must be something good because Em hasn’t gotten bored with it yet.

  An hour later, she finally came to. Looking at her face sent chills down my back. It was a look of pure shock.

  Chapter 5

  I had several different kinds of emotions running through me. Fear, anger, unease…the list could go on. I just wanted Em to tell me what she saw, because the look on her face scared the shit out of me.

  “What? What happened?” My face now mimicked hers.

  “Sh. Wait until they leave,” she said quietly.

  Going over to the window, we watched as Roland got in his car, and took off down our long black paved driveway. With him finally out of site, Em and I were able to talk freely.

  “Okay, are you going to tell me what happened?” I said anxiously.

  “Oh my God!”

  Seriously, that’s all she had to say? “Well! What?” I started to get impatient.

  “Not now, you’re Father’s coming.”

  My heart pounded against my chest as I heard father’s footsteps down the hall. Whatever happened down there was not good.

  “Hello girls. Emily, do you mind if I talk to Karmalita alone please?”

  The only time he called me that was if he was about to do or say something he knew I wasn’t going to like. My nerves got a shock and I was wondering what this is about.

  “No problem. I was headed out anyway. I’ll see you later Karma.” Em waved her hand in the air as she moved toward the door.

  “Yeah, see you,” I said.

  Once Em was out the door, Father gave me a look I’ve never seen before. One I could only describe as guilt.

  “What is this about Daddy?”

  “I’m sure you’ve noticed Roland just left. He came by to have a chat. We both decided it would be best if we moved the wedding up. Instead of it being on your birthday, we think it should be within the next two weeks. We’ve only moved it by a week or two. You decide. But we believe it to be in the best interest of our races if it is done before the Great War.

  “It seems the Fallen have started moving in around here. With the races united beforehand, we have a better chance at standing against them. Unfortunately this is not negotiable. You do, however, get to choose which week you want it. Since the Fallen started taking place around here, we will have training more often. Meet me in the field tomorrow afternoon. We train again, and harder.”

  I was left speechless watching Father leave my room.

  What? Move the wedding up? It is bad enough I had to marry the guy, but rush it? What the fuck! I couldn’t think about this. Not right now. This isn’t right.

  Jolted from my thoughts with a knock at my window, I jumped. I looked over to see Em making her way back in.

  “So much for you taking off, now tell me what the hell happened! Do you have any idea what Father just said to me?” I exclaimed.

  “Yes, I do. And what I’m about to tell you, well, you cannot freak out. Okay. We’ll figure something out. Okay, now you remember what you heard them talking about before? Well, you were right. Your mom didn’t want you and Roland to get married. She was worried that the Vamps would use the union the wrong way. She was worried that somehow, they would get extra power from it. I’m not sure what exactly, no one said.

  “We will have to look into that some more. But apparently Roland and his father are blackmailing your dad. Karma, I don’t mean to bring up a sore subject. The night your mom…died. You and Roland both remember seeing a sword. The sword, well, the only way to kill a Pixie is by iron, right?”

  I stared at her in awe as I nodded.

  “Well, the only sword that has iron in it is your fat
hers. His is made of both silver and iron. No other Pixie can touch it because of the iron, only a king. They plan to use that as blackmail against him. If you don’t marry Roland, they are going to say your father killed her.”

  My body pulsed with both anger and fear.

  Blackmail? To marry me?

  “Who the fuck does he think he is! Using blackmail against my Father, just so he can marry me? And how do they even know it was his sword? Why couldn’t it have been one similar to his?”

  “Roland specifically remembers seeing his sword next to your mother. How the Fallen got it, I don’t know. Your father says it would never work, saying he killed her. But saying that he gave one of the Fallen his sword….that’s another story. Karma, if you don’t marry Roland, the Vamps are going to blame your father for your mother’s death! And it’s not like you can say it wasn’t his sword, no one would ever believe you. Now with how blotchy your memory is. You remember seeing a sword, but you wouldn’t be able to describe it.”

  I became severely pissed off; at myself, at Roland. If I could remember my forgotten memories, I would know the truth, whatever that may be.

  “I don’t understand. Why? Em, we need to figure out what they want so badly,” I said.

  “Oh my God. You don’t think Ethan knows anything about this do you? What if it’s not just Roland and his father that want the power, but all Vamps?” Em looked worrisome.

  “Aw, Em. I don’t think Ethan would be in on it. He loves you. You can see it in his eyes. Whenever you guys are together, it’s like he can’t get enough of you. He is nothing like them. If vamps had souls, I’d say Ethan had one of the best ones there is. He’s the only one I know that seems like he’s held on to humanity.” My expression softened.

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “I know I am. Oh! Did you hear what else father said? About the Fallen moving in already? I guess training is going to be getting tougher. I wish I could come to full strength in my powers so I could fight better. But it seems so sudden. What if the war happens before I turn 19? I hope it doesn’t, but still. It could. Jesus Em, what am I going to do?”

  “I’m all over it, I’ll figure something out. But I don’t care what they have against your father. You can NOT marry him! The obviously have something up their sleeve, but whatever it is, it has got to be worse than what they will do if you don’t marry. I’ll try to see if Ethan knows anything about this. Maybe we can all go have coffee and talk. We will figure out how to keep your father safe. Postpone the wedding as far back as you can. We should come up with something within two weeks.”

  “Thanks Em, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  “You’d be marring Roland, that’s what you’d be doing!”

  Giving her a hug I told her to sneak back out the window. I needed some rest especially if I was going to have to fight with father again tomorrow. As soon as Em left I laid in my bed wishing everything could go away. I have known the union was coming but it all seemed to be coming so soon. For the first time in my life I wished I was someone else.

  ***

  The next morning I tried to lie in bed as long as I could. I ached in places on by body that didn’t even take a hit when I was training. It seemed as though it took more energy than I had in me to take my shower and get dressed. I was lucky enough to be able to have three cups of coffee before it was time to train…again.

  As I took all of my anger out I started to fight with more fierceness than I have before. Our swords slammed together at a speed almost impossible to follow with our eyes.

  How could this be happening? Mother didn’t want this. Father didn’t want this but he’s doing it to keep his own ass safe. I am not going to marry Roland. I don’t care! I’m not doing it! I thought as I spun and thrust my sword into fathers once again. With neither one of us getting a lead on the other, I still thought I did pretty damn good. I was able to let out my anger too, well, some of it anyway.

  This fighting session took longer than most other ones we had. We were out there circling and jabbing for several hours. I knew he wanted me prepared for the war and since it was so close our sessions would get longer. I knew he would test me every way he could from now until the war but I didn’t realize that would include training from the afternoon until it was dark outside.

  “You fought very well again tonight. You’ve impressed me since our last training was so close. I hope you fight this well during the war. If we keep this up you will have no problem. Let’s just hope it doesn’t happen until after your birthday. Once you hit your full potential I’m sure you’d be able to take even me.” Father smiled with pride.

  “Thanks. I think I’m going to call it a night though. I’m pretty beat. With the training and the Fallen starting to arrive, it’s made for a long day. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “No, I don’t mind. Go along. I’ll just be a few more moments.”

  “Okay. Goodnight daddy.”

  “Goodnight dear.”

  Instead of going to bed, I figured I should take Molly for her ride. If I didn’t, she would go on her own. I stopped to look back at Father on my way to the stable. At first I couldn’t find him, but when I did, I noticed how depressed he looked. He was just sitting there on a stump, with his sword in hand. I wish I knew what was going through his mind. Maybe he wished I would call the whole thing off. Maybe he would be willing to take the blame of mother’s death just so I didn’t have to marry Roland.

  It doesn’t matter. I’ve already made my mind up. There wasn’t going be any wedding. I would have to put on a show for a while, pretend there would be. But there won’t be a wedding. One way or another, I was not going to marry Roland. That backstabbing, lying bastard.

  “You ready girl?” I said as I opened the gate to Molly’s fence. “Let's go.”

  We ran in between the trees until we came to our spot by the pond. Sitting on the log, looking at the sky, I felt lost and alone. I wished mother was here. She would put Roland in his place. She was a frisky woman, always blunt and said things like they were. I wondered; if she never died, would I even be in this position? The vamps would have nothing against Father.

  I wished more than ever that she was still alive. I suddenly hoped Chace would show up any minute and comfort me. I know I wouldn’t be able to tell him any of this, but to at least have him next to me would be enough. Molly, feeling the sadness inside of me, came over and rubbed her head against my arm. Molly and Em, the only two living beings in this world that I could trust, that I could talk to. I looked up to the sky and stared at the moon. The moon was the only thing I could see; there wasn’t a star in sight.

  “Oh Mother, I need you. If God let you back into heaven, I wish he’d let you guide me. Show me something I’m missing. Or at least help me remember,” I said quietly.

  I realized Chace wasn’t coming tonight. I needed to see if Em has had a chance to make any progress with Ethan so I figured I should go home. Maybe he knew something, but hopefully he didn’t. As much as I would love to get some more information about what is going on, I knew if he had any knowledge of it would kill Em inside.

  Ethan was the kind of guy that always looked out for others. He once said never wanted to become a Vamp. That it was forced upon him a few years ago, his maker abandoned him, but luckily Roland and his father found him before he changed. They were able to assist him with everything. Once his heart stopped they buried him, waiting three nights until it was time for him to awaken. When he did, they were both there. They brought food, yes a human, and taught him everything he needed to know.

  We don’t interfere with the way of vamps as long as they don’t kill too many people. I don’t agree with it, but it was the only way our races could get along. We wanted the union, so each side had to deal with something they didn’t like. They had the ability to take life, and we had the ability to create it.

  Chapter 6

  Before I fell asleep last night, Em called and asked me to meet her and Ethan at
the coffee shop today. She said she played the “curious” girlfriend role with Ethan, and she filled me in on the conversation they had earlier. How she said it was crazy how much stronger the races would be, but she hoped neither side would gain more power than the other. Ethan said that he didn’t see how it would be possible, but he thought it was an interesting question, one he wanted to look further into.

  As I walked into the coffee shop I spotted the happy couple sitting together. Ethan was handsome just like Roland. I guess all Vamps were. The only thing different about the two was the way Ethan carried himself. He didn’t have…I guess I would call it the Vamp Strut. I was always able to tell who was a Vamp by the way they walked. Always stiff yet graceful. It was like Ethan was always sloppy and limp. He walked just like your average mundane.

  Maybe that was something Em really liked about him. I know she always talked about how much she loved his hazel eyes and she would always tell me the nice things he would do for her. Simple things like opening a car door. Other than that I really don’t know what made her love him. I guess love isn’t something you really can control. It’s something that is just. It just is. And that was them.

  You know how you can look at people and you could tell how in love they were? Well that was how those two were. Their eyes said all that needed to be said. Their body motions were in sync, and the smiles were genuine.

  Even as she reached over to run her fingers through his black hair, he returned the motion. Sometimes watching them was like reading a book on how deeply in love a couple is or listening to a country song. They yearned for each other; anyone could see that just by looking at them. I was happy that she had someone like that in her life. I hoped that one day Chace and I could be like that. That one day we will be able to show the world how we feel about each other. Maybe someday, but that day is not today.

  Making my way over to them, Em saw me and held up my coffee she had waiting for me.

  “Your coffee,” she said smiling. She always knew what I liked, that was one of the best things about a best friend.