Forgotten Memories

by Candis Vargo

  After I left the club I got into my Nitro and started to drive. I didn’t know where I was going until I ended up at the hospital. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do; I just let my gut instincts take over.

  I dug out my hospital ID card from my purse and walked toward the back entrance. After swiping my card I walked in and headed for the Cancer ward. I knew Nicks last name so I was sure I would be able to find his brother.

  I knew enough about Bone Cancer to know it was one of the most painful cancers to suffer from. I wanted to find a way to help. I didn’t know how I was going to do that, but I needed to try.

  After I was on the Cancer ward I snuck behind the nurses’ station which was occupied by only one nurse. I figured if anyone stopped me I would tell them I was a volunteer bringing something to a patient. It wasn’t a complete lie. Luckily, I knew the code to the room which held the files so I punched in the numbers as fast as I could.

  Once I was in the door I closed it behind me and began looking for the name Manning. There were only three patients whose last names began with ‘M’ so I got lucky. I found a file that said ‘Manning, Bill’. I opened his file and found his room number along with every other bit of information on him. He was so young. He wasn’t even thirty yet. I didn’t even think being a Succubus stealing life from someone was as cruel as an untimely death or diseases. To me, they were the things that go bump in the night that you really needed to be scared of. Not me.

  I left the file room and walked down the hall toward Bills room number. I grabbed a flower out of a vase on my way so I would look more like a visitor and less mischievous.

  I walked into Bills room and placed the flower at the foot of his bed. He was in horrible shape and you could see on his face all of the suffering he went through. I may take souls for a living but I knew no one should have to suffer this way. My heart ached and I felt grief for this man I didn’t even know.

  I began to try to think of a way to make it easier on him. That was all I wanted to do. Realization snapped in my mind as I remembered what it is I do to survive. I take their souls, therefor I take their life. Maybe I could help him after all.

  I didn’t know how much longer he had but I thought if I kissed him long enough it would work. I didn’t know what kind of person he was so if he was a good soul one kiss shouldn’t mess up his chances on judgment day for him.

  I walked over to the side of his bed and looked down at him. I could feel his pain. I brushed his hair back from his forehead and said, “You’re going to be okay. At least this way you won’t hurt anymore.” I knew he couldn’t hear me because he was either sound asleep or completely out of it.

  I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. I didn’t feel guilty for what I was doing, I felt relief. I was relieved that I might be able to stop one person from suffering. If it worked I thought I might do it again, only time could tell.

  I felt the passing of his soul from his body giving me a high and making me feel revived. It came sooner than I expected. The buzzing on his heart monitor began making a horrible sound as I heard footsteps running down the hall. I did it. It worked I thought.

  Luckily, as a succubus I can will myself to become invisible. I was glad knowing Bill didn’t have to deal with anymore pills or any more pain. I felt like I finally found a way to do good deeds as a Succubus.

  I was startled when I heard a swooping noise next to me. I turned to look and I saw an Angel. The first thing I noticed was the heavy wings full of golden white feathers. The Angel had a glowing light around it to make it hard to see. It was like trying to look at the sun.

  When the light started to dim the thumping of my heart quickened before it clasped shut completely. I felt my legs underneath me begin to go weak. The world stood still for a few moments as I found it hard to breathe. I found it hard to do much of anything other than stare. My blood rushed through my veins at a rapid pace that matched the echo of thumping in my ears. The only thing I managed to say was, “Chace.”

  Chapter 32

  Memories flooded my mind as I looked at Chace standing before me. Just when I started to believe I would never see him again, there he was. He was whole again.

  His wings were no longer tattered and black. There were no more gashes upon his body. He stood there in the same beauty he always had. I remembered what he felt like next to me and I swear I felt the touch of his skin on mine again. I thought about his lips when they brushed mine. His kisses were like a piece of Heaven, which is exactly what he was now.

  I remembered the first time we made love and how good he was with Molly. I knew I missed him but I didn’t realize how much. I have tried to carry on without him letting him be happy now the he was back in Heaven. After all, that’s what he always wanted.

  The only thing I wanted to do was run into his arms and to have him pick me up like he had been waiting for this moment. I wanted to scream his name and tell him how much I have missed him and have him to the same. The second I realized it was Chace my heart felt whole, it was no longer incomplete.

  I never thought I had enough strength to keep me from doing all the things I so desperately wanted to do. But looking at him closely I knew I had no choice.

  When I looked in his eyes I didn’t see the world like I used to, instead I saw hatred. His face didn’t carry the passion for me it once did. He looked appalled. I had fought so hard to stay strong all this time and my walls were crumbling down around me. I sold my soul so he could be free and happy again. It seemed that doing so also made him hate me.

  Chace looked at me with disgust. “I do not know where you heard that nor do I care. You will call me Angel of Judgment do you understand demon?”

  My heart sank, “Chace…it’s me. It’s Ja—Karma!”

  “I do not care who you are Succubus. You will call me Angel of Judgment and by no other name. Do you understand?” his voice was discerning, sending pain through my body.

  He knows me as a Succubus, as a demon. He was right. I was all of those things but I would have been if I didn’t do it for him. I remembered how Kemonte said he would forget his memories once he was sent back to Heaven. I never thought it would hurt this bad. But he was an angel. And I was a demon.

  “Listen. If you just let me explain,” I began before he held up his had to cut me off.

  “I know it was you who did this. I’ve never heard of a Succubus who is so incompetent they need to take from those who are already dying,” he glared at me.

  My heart shattered. I never realized how much angels hated demons. The way he was acting toward me showed me the truth.

  “Listen here you arrogant bastard,” I spat at him. “I did that guy a favor. I sucked out what little bit of life he had left in him so he didn’t have to suffer anymore.” Tears were streaming down my face as I continued to let out all of my frustrations. “And I am far from incompetent. Why don’t you check my record and see for yourself. Not to mention I only do this shit when I have to. I don’t like it. I hate it. I just accept it.”

  Chace scowled as he opened his mouth to speak again.

  “Don’t,” I said before he had the chance to talk. “Do not think you are better than me because you are an Angel. If it wasn’t for me, you would still be in Hell. Why don’t you ask the big guy upstairs just who in the hell I am. I was a damn Pixie and had a decent life before you got sent to Hell. I gave everything up to get you back! I sold my god damn soul, lost my father, lost my race, lost every fucking thing to get you back.”

  For a brief moment a look of knowledge passed over his face. His posture changed and he looked weakened for a moment.

  “Even though I lost everything, I wouldn’t change it for one minute. If you don’t believe me, ask me anything. Anything at all. Do you want to know how you looked in Hell? Because that’s a picture I can’t get out of my mind. Do you want to know how I felt when you were stabbed in the heart? Those are feelings I live with every damn day of my existence. Christ I could even tell you how it felt when we made lov
e for the first time if that’s what you need. God Chace, I love you and you loved me too.” I felt myself beginning to calm down a little bit. “But you’ll never know that. You won’t remember any of it,” my voice was now almost a whisper. “You won’t ever know the great things we had together.”

  I moved closer to him and reached out to touch his face. His hand abruptly came up and grabbed mine to stop me. For a moment I thought he was going to try and break my wrist but that moment soon passed.

  When the light that once surrounded him faded completely, I saw a hint of something familiar in his eyes. For one brief second I swear I could see the world within his eyes again. That moment I was filled with hope. Hope that he saw everything we had together, hope that we could go back to the way things once were. But it was just for one brief second.

  “Do not touch me,” he said sharply. “If you want to make their passing easier on them, so be it. But do not fill me with lies about a past that has never happened. No demon is worth trusting. Not even some Succubus who tries to make death easier on a mortal. Because the truth is no matter your reasoning, a part of you still does it for the kicks. I have never met you before. You are just another demon to me.”

  Those words hit my heart like a thousand bricks falling from the sky.

  “Chace, no.” I reached forward again and this time he let me place my hand on his cheek. “I won’t give up on you. I can’t.”

  As he stared into my eyes I felt a burning in my soul. Somewhere in there I was able to see a spark of recognition come to him. It was as if some unseen force allowed him to remember me. Remember us.

  “Karma?” his voice, soft.

  My heart raced with excitement and hope.

  “Karma,” he said again, but this time he wrapped me in his arms. “I’m so, sorry for everything. God, Karma, I never thought I’d see you again.”

  As he held me tight tears of joy fell down my face.

  In a split second we were outside, flying above the hospital.

  “I’ll never let you go, Karma. I will never lose you again.”

  I felt the familiar sting of wings opening up and as I looked behind me, I was shocked to see I was no longer a Demon… not even a Pixie. No, I was now an Angel just like Chace.

  “For all eternity,” he said.

  “I don’t even know if that’ll be enough time,” I sighed.

  Chace leaned forward, and after so long apart, his lips on mine felt so natural. There was a happiness that I never thought I’d get to feel again… But I did. And I would get to be with him for all of eternity…

  THE END