Covalent Bonds

by Trysh Thompson

  It’s just the beer, she told her herself, taking a deep swallow of her drink.

  Chapter Two

  “I told you it was Johnny Knoxville!” Jack cried, pumping his fist into the air with childish glee. Emily thought his rare moment of excitement softened his obnoxious edge. His smooth skin was flushed, his thick hair messy from where he had raked his fingers through it. His hazel eyes, though bleary, flicked from Emily’s face to the huge red-cross that now dominated their score sheet. Like the rest of them, he was slightly worse for wear.

  “I can’t believe that. It’s got to be wrong!” Emily slurred.

  “You need to apologise,” Tim goaded, obviously enjoying her discomfort. “You said Jack was wrong.”

  “He said the same to me!”

  “But you were wrong,” Jack laughed. Two dimples that Emily had never noticed before appeared in his cheeks. They made him look boyish. Handsome. Uncomfortable, she tore her eyes away.

  “I do humbly apologise,” she muttered. She really hated to be wrong more than anything. The fact that Jack was making a big deal of this only served to remind her just how obnoxious he could be. She poked him in the chest, surprised at how muscled it was beneath his tee. “But I still got the Dawn of the Dead one.”

  “We both got that one,” he corrected, still laughing. His expression was carefree, warm. It was so different to the awkward, aloof Jack that she was used to.

  “Whatever. I’m going home. See you later, losers.” She pushed herself to her feet, weaving unsteadily on her stiletto heels. The walls immediately started to circle around her, making her dizzy and sick. Hot and sweaty, and not at all like her normal primped self, she had to close her eyes until the feeling passed.

  “I’ll walk you home,” Jack said. Surprised, her eyes flashed open. She watched as he got to his feet, lumbering in a way only a man over six feet tall can. When he saw her surprise he gave a quick shrug. “We do live in the same building.”

  She knew that of course. She bumped into him from time to time. But she was annoyed at his presumption. It felt like control; a familiar feeling that she had done without for the past two years. She wouldn’t let her memories taint the evening—but she wouldn’t let herself be controlled either. “I don’t need you to walk me home,” she insisted, “You never walk me home. You normally go somewhere else afterward and I take care of myself. And anyway, I’m going to get a taxi. It’s too late to walk.”

  “Then you might as well share,” Tim said, getting to his feet. His tone was friendly enough but Emily noticed how his eyes held Jack’s. They seemed to be silently communicating with one another. Before she could ask what that was all about, Tim continued, “I’ll get Ben home. We can drop Dave off on the way too.”

  Jack smiled, as though victorious. It was infections and, despite the familiar pulse of fear deep in her chest, Emily couldn’t help but answer it. Even in her drunken haze, she wondered about his sudden personality shift. She wasn’t used to him being so friendly and uninhibited. Even the way he stood—his arms crossed confidently over his chest, his head held high—was so at odds to his usual stiff bearing.

  “Fine. Whatever.” Emily leaned over and gave Tim a brief peck on the cheek. Then she did the same to Ben and Dave, who were slumped at the table, their heads propped up in their hands. Ben tried to pull her into a mauling hug but she pushed him away laughing uncomfortably. When Ben resisted, Jack got involved, putting a firm hand on his chest, “Enough.” Then he turned to Tim, “Get him home, okay?”

  Without waiting for an answer, Jack guided Emily outside, his hand on the small of her back. At first she stiffened at his touch. There wasn’t anything unpleasant about it¬—in fact, the pressure was comforting—but it felt controlling. Peculiar. As though he was acting outside of his character and was aware of it.

  Plus, there was the fact he was her manager.

  Uncomfortable, Emily edged away from him, ignoring the look he slanted her way. “You’re not still angry at my victory, are you?”

  “No. And you didn’t beat me. I answered just as many questions as you. More if you count the geography,” she retorted, as she stepped farther away.

  The night was cooler than Emily expected and she wasn’t wearing a jacket. Goosebumps sprang up across her flesh and she rubbed at them, shivering. Without even casting a glance her way, Jack slid his jacket off and draped it over her shoulders. The high-handed, thoughtless way he did it made her swallow nervously, unwelcome memories of her ex-husband flooding her mind.

  She was cold though, so—this time only—she pushed her fears away and accepted the jacket as graciously as she could. Which was to moodily say thanks and then ignore his questioning glances.

  A taxi beeped its horn, letting them know it was available. Jack walked over and opened the car door for her. His expectant face was too much, too familiar. Unlike the coat, the chivalrous gesture seemed more controlling, almost like he just expected her to fall in line. It was another example of him seeing her as weaker than her teammates, someone who needed to be coddled. Somebody who wouldn’t be able to whoop his arse on Call of Duty if he just gave her the chance.

  There was no way he would have held the door open for Tim, Ben, or Dave.

  Determined to make a point, she strode around to the other side of the car—unsteadily in her heels—and climbed in. Just as she closed the door she thought she heard him chuckle, but it was so soft she wasn’t entirely sure. When he slid in besides her, she searched his face; there was no sign of his humour there. His eyes met hers, his face indecipherable in the darkness. It felt as if he was searching her expression for something.

  “Anyway,” he said, resuming their conversation. “I don’t count the geography questions. I told you I’m useless at that. On the film trivia I think we’re evenly matched. Well, maybe I’m a little better than you.”

  Emily bristled visibly, antagonised by his mild confidence. “And I’m better at gaming than you,” she argued, feeling both childish and angry.

  There was an undercurrent of a challenge in his intense look. “I don’t think that’s true. You didn’t do too well on the Uncharted question earlier, which kind of proves my point.”

  Emily couldn’t look away. In such close quarters, she suddenly realised how big he was. How… masculine. Her eyes travelled down his handsome face to his muscular body. She could see small curls of his chest hair peeping over the collar of his shirt. She swallowed and tore her eyes away. “I’m still not convinced I was wrong.” She was pleased that her voice sounded normal instead of dazed by her sudden attraction to him.

  Jack laughed. “You were wrong. Give it up.”

  She shook her head slowly, trying not to make her vision spin. “I’m sure I saw in one of those ‘Making of…’ documentaries somebody mention that he was based on Nathan Fillion. I’ll find it and show you. And then I’ll have the victory.”

  “You do that,” he said, a wicked gleam in his eye.

  Then he leaned in and kissed her.

  Surprised, Emily stiffened. It was a clumsy kiss, pressing only on one side of her lips. But her body responded quickly and she found herself melting against him, sliding one hand around the base of his skull and pulling him deeper into the kiss. He groaned against her lips and she used the opportunity to slip her tongue into his mouth. The feel of their lips mashing together, their tongues entwining, was deep, incredible, unlike any other kiss she had shared before. His arms tightened around her neck.

  Too tight. Too controlling. Too familiar.

  What am I doing?

  Horrified, a strangled cry escaped her throat. She brought her hands to his chest, momentarily distracted by how firm it was, and pushed him away. Her heart pounded so painfully in her chest that she wondered if he could hear it. She leaned back, her breath coming in short, ragged pants. “What are you doing?” she breathed, voicing the question she had just asked herself. A ripple of hurt flashed across his face, but it was gone before she was fully aware of it.

>   Jack raked his fingers nervously through his hair, looking more like the awkward guy she recognised. “I…”

  “You what? You’re my manager, Jack, my boss. I’m not like that.”

  His eyes widened, absorbing her meaning. “No, of course you’re not. It wasn’t… I’m sorry. I must have misread—”

  “You’re damn right you misread.” She argued, mortified. She crossed her arms over her chest. The act wasn’t just to put a barrier between them, separating their personal spaces; it was also to cover her tightened nipples that were clearly visible through her silk blouse.

  Jack sat back, his whole body rigid with tension. He didn’t speak until his own breathing had settled. “I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice breaking on the last word.

  She didn’t answer him.

  They spent the rest of their journey in an awkward silence, studiously ignoring each other. It was broken only when he cleared his throat, as though he wanted to say something to her, but he never spoke. He kept shooting anxious glances her way.

  When they arrived at their building, Emily expected him to stalk off to his own apartment without saying a word, so she was rather surprised when he fell into step and walked her all the way to her door. They walked in silence, Jack still tense beside her and Emily becoming more and more nervous at what he might say.

  She scrabbled around in her bag, searching for her keys. When she finally found them and started to rifle drunkenly through them, a large hand plucked them from her fingers. Jack selected the key easily and opened the door for her, standing back to allow her through.

  Emily stood there for a moment, unsteady and angry, her breathing coming in furious pants. That was one of ex-husband’s habits; taking control when she wasn’t fast enough for him. She lifted her face to glare at Jack, her cheeks flushed with dismay. “I could have done that myself. You didn’t need to be so… domineering”

  He frowned at her. “Domineering? You looked like you were struggling. I was just trying to help.”

  “Well, I didn’t need your help. I’ve lasted long enough without it. I don’t need you to take care of me.”

  He took a step backwards and held up two hands in a gesture of submission. “I know you don’t. I never said you did. I was just helping. I didn’t mean for it to be so offensive to you.”

  The way he said the last sentence made Emily think he wasn’t talking about the keys. She flushed. “You’re being a presumptuous arse, Jack, seeing me as a—”

  “I’m really not,” he insisted, cutting her off firmly. He held her with his hazel stare. “I… misread. It looks like I misread the whole evening. So I’ll say goodnight before this gets any worse.” He gave her a terse nod and walked away, leaving her standing alone in the corridor.

  Emily watched him walk to the end of the hall. His steps were tight and awkward. She couldn’t quite keep her eyes from his body and the way it moved when he walked. When he turned the corner she shook her head. “Arse,” she said again, to nobody in particular.

  Chapter Three

  As soon as she got into her apartment she stripped naked, slid unwashed into bed, and called her friend Sarah on her mobile. She needed to talk to somebody about what had just happened and Sarah knew Jack vaguely through her boyfriend Tim. It was because of Sarah that she had applied for the job at Tester.com in the first place.

  The call rang for so long that Emily wasn’t sure Sarah would answer. Finally, just as she expected it was about to go to voicemail, Tim answered. “Emily? Everything okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did Jack see you home okay?”

  “Yes, we both got home fine. He’s gone back to his apartment,” she said firmly, wanting to nip whatever he might be thinking in the bud. “Is Sarah there? I need to talk to her.”

  “She’s a bit…” The sound was muffled as he held a hand to the phone. Then he came back on. “Here she is. One second.”

  “Emily?” Sarah slurred.

  “You sound how I feel.”

  “I was out with the girls. Too many cocktails. Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. It’s just…” Emily hesitated. Now she was away from the situation, now her memories of her ex Trevor weren’t quite so fresh in her mind, she found herself feeling guilty at her reaction to the kiss.

  Sarah cleared her throat. “Did Jack… Well, did he make a move?”

  “How did you know?”

  “Tim thought it might happen. He said something about eyes meeting across the room. There was some tension at the quiz apparently.” She held a hand across the mouthpiece again, trying to mute her words but Emily still heard. “Yes, you did, Tim. Those were your exact words.”

  “Well, it wasn’t from my side,” Emily insisted.

  “Of course not.” There was a moment’s silence. “But we thought something like this might happen.”

  Emily’s face twisted. To give herself a moment to think, she turned on her side, pulling the covers up to her chin. “You knew he liked me?”

  “Kind of. Tim guessed it first. He said that Jack always clams up around you. That his awkwardness gets worse.” She paused. “We thought we’d taken care of it.”

  Emily’s heart started to beat faster. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, Tim took him to one side a while back and said it wasn’t appropriate, him being your manager and all.”

  “He shouldn’t have done that.” Emily said, shocked. “He could have gotten in trouble. Jack is his manager too.”

  Sarah tutted down the phone. “Please, they’ve been friends for years. And he didn’t say it an as many words. He just said that you weren’t in the market for anything serious and you didn’t usually go for nerds.”

  Unable to help herself, Emily sniggered. “You said I didn’t go for nerds? You used those words?”

  “Well, he said something along the lines of, ‘Emily likes geeks, not uptight nerds. And right now she’s not even in the market for that.’” She paused for a second time. “You told us as much, darling. Did we do wrong?”

  “No, I’m definitely not ready for any kind of relationship. I’m happy being me at the moment. But you’re right, I guess. Trevor was too much of a nerd. I can’t go there again.”

  “Trevor was a geek,” Sarah corrected, her voice acidic. She never liked Trevor. “A controlling, overbearing, horrible geek. But even you had to admit, he had that cool side to him. It was one of those reasons you overlooked the other side of his personality for so long. Jack is a full blown nerd, darling. He likes Star Trek and goes to conventions. Definitely not your type.” The way she said the words left no doubt in Emily’s mind what she thought about that.

  “Yeah, I guess.” Emily said, no longer liking the words she had used. They seemed a little judgmental now. Shallow.

  She heard Sarah’s antique iron bed frame hit the wall as she sat up suddenly. “Hang on. Did you call me up to tell me you liked it?”

  “No! Of course not.” Emily said quickly, her cheeks flushing. “He was bossy and rude all the way home. Even if I suddenly liked nerds I wouldn’t go for that.”

  “Jack was bossy?” Sarah sounded surprised. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. He was really overbearing.” Emily quickly recounted what had happened earlier in the evening, starting with the beer and jacket and finishing with the keys. Sarah didn’t speak during the entire tale. “So, I told him he was an arse,” Emily concluded.

  “It sounds like he was being a gentleman, darling,” Sarah said softly.

  Emily shook her head before she realised Sarah wouldn’t be able to hear her. “No. I’ve not explained it right. It was really pushy. Domineering. I don’t need taking care of. And I won’t let myself be controlled again. It was too familiar. His behaviour, his…” she hesitated, knowing it was unfair but she had to say it anyway, “his nerdiness, it’s too familiar, Sarah.”

  “Maybe. I won’t deny he’s a nerd. But controlling? That’s not really like Jack. At least, I’ve never seen that side of hi
m. I know he’s different around you, more awkward and stuffy, but I’ve never seen him be controlling. He’s a perfect gentleman.” The words hung between the two of them for a moment. When Emily didn’t answer, Sarah said in a cheery voice, “But it doesn’t matter either way. We told him you weren’t interested and he didn’t listen. So he’s only got himself to blame when you turned him down, right?”

  “Right,” Emily agreed, wondering how on Earth she was going to be able to face him on Monday.

  Chapter Four

  When Emily woke on Saturday morning, her head was throbbing, her eyes were gritty and sore, and she had a vile metallic taste in her mouth. The air was rancid with the odour of stale beer, so much so that she thought she might throw up. Stumbling to bathroom, she drank deeply from the tap, cupping her hands beneath the flow and slurping from them until her belly was uncomfortably full. The light that streamed through the small bathroom window was so harsh that she couldn’t help but wince. Knowing she was in the grips of a bad hangover, she swallowed two painkillers dry and traipsed miserably back to bed.

  She was just sliding beneath the covers when she saw Jack’s jacket draped over the wardrobe door. She stared at it, not able to think of it as anything other than a symbol of his power play throughout the night. The jacket, the car door, the insistence that he walk her home because she wouldn’t be safe unless she had a man besides her—it brought back memories that she thought were safely in her past.

  Four years with Trevor and his controlling ways had left her with a fierce independent streak that she would never give up. She didn’t need anybody to take care of her. She was doing perfectly fine by herself. With no family and no friends other than her work colleagues and Sarah, she had to rely on herself. There was nobody else. Trevor had seen to that early on in their relationship.