Secure Love

by Lexy Timms

  And her life was in New York.

  “I’m exhausted,” Kallie said with a whisper.

  “Then we’ll sleep in my bed tonight. Just sleep.”

  “Is that possible with you?” she asked with a grin.

  “It could be, if I had you there.”

  She pulled back and looked up into Ash’s eyes as his thumb stroked her cheek.

  “I need to rest in my own bed,” she said. “And get a shower. I’m soaking wet.”

  “We could take a shower together.”

  “Ash.”

  “I just—”

  Kallie closed her eyes and waited, trying to guard herself as best as she could. But instead of the fight she always got with Ash, she simply heard him sigh.

  “Okay,” he said.

  Her eyes whipped open as he took a step back.

  “Okay?” Kallie asked.

  “I hope you sleep well,” he said.

  Then she watched him backtrack into his hotel room.

  Her heart sank. Her trembling hands led her into her empty hotel room and she peeled her clothes off. She’d take a shower in the morning. All she wanted to do was sleep the night away. She crawled, naked and cold, between the sheets of her bed.

  Her lonely bed.

  She missed Ash already, and she knew that was dangerous.

  Tears filled her eyes and she unleashed them into her pillow. She turned her face in to it and began to sob. Why did she come to Bali? Why had she given into him? Why did she convince herself that some idiotic “last goodbye” would ever be good for her? For them? She beat on her pillow and cried into it some more. She hated herself. Hated the position she’d put herself in. One second she felt strong, and the next second she felt weak.

  Weak in the arms of Ash.

  Weak against his touch.

  Weak against his stare.

  She cried herself to sleep that night, knowing it would be hard to leave him soon.

  Why the hell did a part of her always have to be so hopeful?

  Chapter 21

  Ash

  “So, I heard back from the realtor,” Kallie said. “They accepted your offer.”

  “I figured they would. I’m shocked it took them an entire day to get back to me,” Ash said.

  “They’ve even included some of the furniture that was in the home when we were there.”

  “Oh, did they keep that dining room table with those chairs? I loved that.”

  “They did. Along with the furniture on the porch and that guest bedroom furniture you thumbed your nose at.”

  “Ah, the maritime room. That’s fine. That bedroom will probably be the least used since it doesn't have a view of any sort of water. I’ll deal with that later. It might make some decent firewood.”

  “Once the signing of the papers and the notarization goes through, the only other thing we have to do is get you a temporary visa set up with the promise to stay within the lines of eligibility for citizenship. Then, I’ll be done here.”

  Ash’s heart clenched at the notion.

  “Though from the sounds of who I’ve talked with, the Indonesian government is very excited to be proposing citizenship to you. So you’ll probably sail through it,” Kallie said.

  “Especially since I’ll be paying them taxes,” Ash said with a grin.

  “But, the paperwork will still take all day to set up before you can sign and be handed the keys. So I figured some trips into some furniture shops might be of use. Unless you’re bringing stuff over. Which I highly doubt.”

  “Then your gut would be correct. I’m not bringing furniture. I’m going to live in Bali and purchase within Bali.”

  “Then we’ll add that to our list of ‘last things to do before I leave.’”

  Ash knew what she was doing. Dropping very obvious hints that she would be leaving soon. But he wasn’t done. Not with her. Sasha might’ve ruined their moment together, but that didn’t mean Ash couldn't set up another one. Kallie rattled off a few furniture places they could go to, then went downstairs to book a cab. Which gave Ash some time to work his magic.

  He took out his cell phone and started calling around to the boat shops in the area. There were a couple of luxury yacht dealers along the coastline, and Ash figured a boat would be a wonderful addition to his private pier and dock. He made a couple of scheduled appointments and had every intent on purchasing one.

  Then, he’d whisk Kallie out into the ocean again.

  Just like he had on the island.

  Hopefully, without the storms this time.

  “All right,” Kallie said as she came back into his room. “I’ve got a cab lined up to take us to a few of the furniture stores around the—”

  “Actually, change of plans,” Ash said.

  “Oh? What happened?”

  “There’s one last thing I need to make this my perfect spot. A place where I can settle down and never have to worry about a thing.”

  “That’s good. It’s good that you know that. What is it?”

  Ash smiled before he escorted Kallie silently out to the car.

  The second they pulled up to the boat shop, Kallie began to giggle. And her giggle turned into belly laughter. It was a beautiful sound. One Ash hoped to elicit from her again and again when he whisked her away on it for its maiden voyage. He opened her car door and helped her out, and her hand stayed within his for a little longer than he imagined it would. They walked halfway around the marina of boats for sale before she pulled her hand away, but Ash had already gotten what he’d came for.

  Reassurance that she still wanted to be close to him.

  “This is our top-of-the-line model. It’s the most spacious and the safest out on the water. It has a wet bar, a fully functioning kitchen below deck, and the largest bedroom with a king-size bed in the room. The bathroom is a decent size as well, with a walk-in shower that can easily fit two people. So there’s a lot of elbow room to take your time,” the salesman said.

  “Does it come in any other color besides white?” Ash asked.

  “We’ve got black, but you can also purchase one of the white boats and have it custom painted in our shop.”

  “Perfect. Then I’ll take the white boat and a custom paint of light green and pale blue.”

  “Like the waters of our coastline,” the salesman said.

  “Exactly.”

  “Are you sure you want to buy the boat so quickly?” Kallie asked.

  Ash glanced down at her with a grin on his cheeks.

  “I mean, you haven’t even walked inside it.”

  “Do you want to walk inside it?” Ash asked.

  “It’s not my boat. I’m not buying it. But what if you buy it and don’t like it?”

  “I’m sure it’ll fit my needs just fine.”

  “Ash, that really isn’t smart. If you want to do this right, you need to look at it. Test drive it. Something.”

  “We have a fourteen-day money-back guarantee. If you don’t like the boat once you take it, you can bring it back and have it refunded,” the salesman said.

  “Then I’ll take it,” Ash said.

  “Ash.”

  “Kallie?”

  She sighed and that was when he decided to swoop in.

  “How about this? I buy the boat, and instead of having it painted right off the bat, you and I take it out for a spin. A night on the water. If I don’t like it with you on it, then I’ll never like it at all. And if there are any issues with it, I’ll know upfront and we can drive it right back into the harbor,” he said.

  He watched Kallie ponder his request of her before a grin slid across her cheeks.

  “Okay,” she said. “But one night. Driving around. Testing out all of the bells and whistles. That’s it.”

  “So where do I pay?” Ash asked quickly.

  He bought the boat upfront and the salesman promised to keep it docked until they could get back to it. Ash went back to the hotel to grab a few things he’d purchased before the trip even began, then
he and Kallie made their way back to the dock. He was ecstatic. He wanted to re-create everything about their boat trip together. Minus the storm. He carried some food and drink for them to indulge in, as well as a change of clothes and he saw Kallie had her purse stuffed with a few things of her own.

  But if things went his way, she wouldn’t need an ounce of that clothing.

  “Remember when we went snorkeling?” Ash asked.

  “I do. I remember you being very patient with me,” Kallie said.

  “Well, hopefully you remember what I taught you. Because Bali’s coast is rich with sea creatures for us to look at.”

  “Wait. We’re going snorkeling again?”

  “We are,” he said as he parked the boat in the middle of the ocean.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

  Ash could see the look of panic on her features. Her eyes darted around the expansive ocean that surrounded them and it made his heart sink. She was afraid of being out there with him. Afraid of what might creep up on them. Ash grabbed the bag of snorkeling gear and went to sit by her and he could see her visibly shaking.

  “There are no storms forecasted,” he said.

  “There weren’t on the island either,” Kallie said.

  “I don’t plan on sleeping much with testing out the settings on the boat. At the slightest hint of a storm, I’m turning this thing back.”

  “What if you fall asleep like we did last time?”

  “Trust me. I won’t.”

  Ash handed her the snorkeling gear and he was relieved when she took it. The two of them slipped into the water and held hands, ducking their heads underneath the ocean’s surface. There were so many magnificent creatures to see, and soon Kallie was pointing them out and hitting him to get his attention. Their flippers carried them farther and they dove deeper than they had on the island, and he watched Kallie’s eyes constantly widen behind her goggles.

  He was taken by her childlike awe of the world around her.

  Yet another thing that made him fall in love with her.

  But every time he tried to get close to her, she would still herself away. He’d try to hold her in the water and she’d kick away from him. He’d hold out his hand to help her up the ladder and she wouldn't take the help. He’d try to help her reposition her gear and she’d swat him and tell him that she had it.

  Nothing was panning out the way Ash had hoped.

  Ash changed into some dry clothes and began working on their light dinner. Kallie was up on the deck, staring out at the sunset as it dropped below the horizon. He popped open a bottle of wine and poured himself and Kallie a glass, then he lined up the cold cuts and cheese on a platter. He had some grapes and some chunks of coconut. Some java plums and some mangosteen. He carried everything upstairs to her and sat down beside her, watching as the sun cut itself in half with the mirror of the ocean.

  “Hungry?” Ash asked.

  “Mmm, starving,” Kallie said.

  The two of them sat silently, sipping on their wine and picking at the snacks Ash had prepared specifically for the moment.

  A moment he deemed perfect enough to talk to her.

  And the best part was that there was no risk of interruptions this time.

  “I really appreciate all of your help, Kallie.”

  “It’s not a problem. I’m glad I could help. How did all of the kitchen stuff work down there?” she asked.

  “Not a hiccup to be seen,” Ash said. “So far, the boat works wonderfully.”

  “And there is a lot of space. I personally love the thing. What do you think?”

  Ash watched Kallie’s eyes pan over to him. She had provided him the perfect opening, so he was going to take it. He didn’t have the ring with him. He wasn’t sure he needed it. All he needed was Kallie. And the moment was perfect to ask for her.

  “I think the boat is still missing something,” Ash said.

  “Oh? What’s it missing?” Kallie asked.

  “Not the boat, really. But Bali, in general.”

  “You bring this up now? When all of the paperwork is ready for you to sign?”

  “It’s not a paperwork issue,” Ash said.

  “Then what is it? What’s this place still missing?”

  “That one thing that’ll make it perfect,” he said.

  “Then let’s talk about it. Maybe I can help. I’m still here to help, you know.”

  He gazed into her eyes as he cocked his body toward her. He placed his empty glass of wine into the cup holder before he rose his palm to her cheek. He touched her skin. Kissed by the heat of the sun and flushing underneath his touch. He caressed his thumb over her cheek, feeling how soft her skin was.

  How soft her skin had always been to him.

  “Ash?” Kallie asked.

  “Yes?”

  “What is it you want?”

  He guided her face close to his. He could feel her breath pulsing against his lips. She didn’t pull away. She didn’t bat him away. None of the moves she had in her arsenal that day were apparent as the sun finally died beyond the mirrored surface of the ocean. Darkness blanketed them, and stars rose in Kallie’s eyes. The twinkling night sky above them filled her eyes with a hint of lust he knew he’d never be able to stand against.

  “You,” Ash said. “What I want, Kallie, is you.”

  Chapter 22

  Kallie

  “What?” Kallie asked with a whisper.

  She was so close to him. So close she could taste the wine on his lips. He hovered over her. Cradled her cheek against his palm. His warmth cascaded through her veins. Her heart beat hard against her chest. On the airplane ride over a week ago, she had longed to hear those words. Longed to hear how he still wanted her.

  And now that they hung in the air between them, all of the obstacles standing in their way poured into the forefront of her memory.

  “There isn’t a perfect place in my life without you, Kallie.”

  “Ash, I—”

  Kallie felt his lips come down against hers, but it was all wrong. Her body leaped toward him, but her mind roared at her to stop. Her hand came up to his chest and pressed against it, his hand quickly wrapping around hers.

  But she pushed him away, desperate to put distance between his magnetic body and hers.

  “Kallie, I want you. I need you in my life,” Ash said. “I care about you. I want you here with me. The house? The boat? The comfort of Bali? It’s all yours. Every single bit of it.”

  Kallie closed her eyes as a breathless snicker fell from her lips. All of it was perfect, and yet it wasn’t her life.

  None of it was her life.

  “I can’t,” Kallie said.

  “Yes you can,” Ash said. “I know you want it. I know you want to stay. I’ve seen your face light up more than it ever has since you’ve been here. Stay with me, Kallie. Let me take care of you.”

  “I can’t stay,” she said. “I have a life, Ash. A life back in New York City.”

  “And you can let it go. If it’s Eris, we’ll fly her out. As much as she wants to come out. Hell, we’ll make one of the rooms in the house explicitly hers.”

  “It’s not just Eris,” she said.

  “Is it your parents? They can come too. Anytime they want. I’ll buy them a place here if that’s what you want.”

  “Ash, stop.”

  “No. No, Kallie. I won’t stop. I’ll never stop. Not when it comes to you. I’ve got more than enough money for the both of us to live out our days together however we want. You can spend your life in paradise with me and never have to lift a finger unless you want to lift it.”

  “This wasn’t the deal,” she said as tears rose to her eyes. “This wasn’t what Bali was about. This was about getting you settled.”

  “I’ll never be settled without you, Pretty Kallie.”

  She turned her eyes away from him and stood up. Trying to put more distance between the “yes” she wanted to scream and the reality she knew awaited her for the rest o
f her life.

  “This isn’t my life,” she said. “I’m a career woman. I enjoy what I do. And yes, it isn’t glamorous. And yes, I’m not a millionaire. And no, I don’t live in a wonderful house that looks out over the ocean and sits between two pristine rock facades on one of the world’s most exotic coastlines. But it’s a life I’m proud of. A life I built when everyone else told me I couldn't.”

  “We can sell your business, Kallie. I’m sure someone will want to take it over and take it to even greater heights. You should be proud of what you’ve built.”

  “How can you even say that to me?” Kallie asked.

  She felt her sadness giving way to anger.

  “How can you be so nonchalant about my things?” she asked. “I worked hard to build that business. I worked hard to build my customer base. I went without food and electricity and a damn cell phone for months while I walked the streets of the city to get my name out there. I make a livable wage in one of the most expensive cities in the United States. And I’m supposed to throw that all away to be a beach bum with you?”

  For once, Kallie saw Ash completely speechless.

  “You seem to keep forgetting about our past,” she said. “What you’re suggesting is right up the alleyway with being a gold digger. In fact, it’s almost the complete definition of it. And that’s what you’ve always feared. Latching yourself onto a woman who only wants to sail through life, with no job, on your dime. So why the hell would you suggest I sell off my damn business and live off you, Ash!?”

  “Because you don’t want my money, Kallie. The fact that you’re fighting for your business tells me that. A gold digger—”

  “Stop,” she said.

  Kallie held up her hand and silenced Ash’s attempt at arguing with her. She was tired. Run down. She felt like a fool. An idiot for believing this was more than just a work trip. She felt stupid for believing she could have some final hoorah with Ash without him putting up a fight like this. She felt idiotic for even dreaming they could piece some semblance of a life together. James wanted her cooped up in a home while he went to work. While he interacted with the world. James wanted her to shove out children and keep herself pristine and have luncheons with other rich men’s wives. A trophy.