A few minutes later while I rinsed the conditioner from my hair, I heard a knock.
“Lizzy,” he whined.
Ashton. I knew that tone. He wanted something.
“I gotta piss,” he shouted through the wooden barrier.
“I’m naked in here! You’re gonna have to wait or go outside,” I responded, trying to hurry up and get the conditioner out of my hair.
“I swear I won’t look,” he lied. “I’m coming in.”
“No, Ashton!” I screamed, my head whipped frantically around the shower in search of something to cover myself. The shower door was steamy but still visible as I watched the white door open inward. Spinning around, I turned away from him. At least that way he would only see my ass. “I hate you, Ashton.”
“Nice ass, Lizzy,” Ashton said jovially with a whistle.
“I swear, I’m gonna . . .”
“What? Hit me?” he asked about the time I heard the toilet seat clank against the tank. “You’d have to get out the shower to do that.” He delighted in his verbal victory with a laugh.
Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes with a sigh. It wasn’t like he wasn’t my best friend. Sure, I had been in the bathroom when Anna peed, but this was different. Gah. The sound of him peeing totally skeeved me out. I stood in the middle of the shower facing the wall, warm water sluicing down me, and waited as Ashton relieved himself.
After what seemed way too long, I looked over my shoulder. “How is it healthy that you pee that much? I mean, just how big is your bladder?”
“Not sure how big that is, but I do know-,”
“For the love of all things holy, do not finish that sentence. If you want us to remain friends, do not tell me how big your junk is,” I ranted. “Ever.”
The infinite stream ceased, and I heard him zip up.
Shit.
Mentally, I was shouting don’t flush, but I wasn’t able to get it out before he did. The water raining down over me went from soothing and warm to boiling lava hot.
“Holy shit!” I jumped backwards out of the scalding stream, spinning to get away and in doing so, I came face to face with Ashton. The only thing between us, his cargo shorts and a sheet of steamy glass, that, let’s be honest, wasn’t that steamy.
“Holy shit,” he echoed. His mouth gaped open as his eyes bugged out of his head.
“Get out,” I screamed and turned back around, humiliated. I wrapped one arm around my boobs and the free hand covered my neatly trimmed pubic hair. “Get out, Ashton!”
He didn’t say anything. All I could hear was the whoosh of the door as it opened and closed. Cautiously, I glanced over my shoulder to make sure the coast was clear before I turned back around. Grumbling, I raised the hand from between my legs to check the temperature of the water before stepping back in.
Ten minutes later, clean, dried, and slightly less mortified, I peeked out the door to look for Ashton. “Ash,” I called out, not seeing him in the bed.
Silence answered.
Stepping into the bedroom, I stood still, glancing around and listened for movement. I wouldn’t put it past Ashton to jump out and try to scare the shit out of me.
Nothing.
I turned and walked into the closet to find a pair of jeans and a tank. If I remembered correctly, the weather was supposed to be hot. I had only made the mistake of wearing shorts while riding English once. The inside of my thighs had blood blisters for days from the stirrup leathers.
Dressing for the day, thoughts of Cooper lingered in my mind. The cold tone of his harsh words had settled in the pit of my stomach like wishful pennies in a dark well. I knew eventually I would have to see him again and I knew those feelings of rejection would come pouring back in. Trying to find a positive, I thought back to how much fun I had last night, surrounded by friends. In the safety of familiar faces, it was a vast difference to the last party in Charlotte. No one trying to assault me was definitely a positive.
Thirty minutes later, with my head drumming along to the beat of the song on the radio, I slowly turned my convertible into the gravel of the farm’s driveway and stopped in front of the tack room. Ashton’s truck was missing, but Maria’s SUV and Scott’s truck were parked next to the long, stone encased house. Cooper’s black Jeep was parked alongside the barn near the pool, unmoved from last night. My palms were instantly clammy as my insides quivered at the thought of running into him.
Just before I turned the key to shut off the engine, Sister Hazel’s Your Winter streamed somberly from the satellite radio through the speakers. Sitting and listening to the words, I wished Cooper would tell me he was sorry and that he didn’t want to hurt me.
After the first chorus, I killed the engine, opened the door, and climbed out of the car. Reaching in, I plucked my cell phone from the small compartment above the shifter and checked the time. Eleven-thirty. I had plenty of time for a ride before the two o’clock beginner class I was supposed to teach. I tucked my phone into the back pocket of my jeans as my boots carried me to the barn. When I came through the doorway, Peaches popped her head out of the closest box stall and called to me in a high-pitched whinny.
“Hey there, sweet girl.” I reached out and rubbed my hand up and down her soft, gray face. “You look like you wanna get out and run. What’d ya say? Wanna run with me?”
“Whatcha runnin’ from?” his deep voice asked from behind me.
Shit.
My stomach felt like it had been dropped from the top of the Empire State Building. Even mad at him for dismissing me like he did last night, his voice made my eyes flutter and knees weaken. In a split second, I had to decide if I wanted to answer him or ignore the loaded question and get Peaches ready for our escape. Chewing the inside of my cheek, I turned to look at Cooper. The man staring back at me was not the same man that stood in this very barn and apathetically pushed me away. No, the man that stood before me was solemn and sincere. His bloodshot hazel eyes brimmed with regret and sorrow.
“Who says I’m running from anything?” I challenged, continuing to run my hand back and forth on Peaches’ face.
“You asked Peaches if she wanted to run with you,” he replied, leaning on the doorframe of the large door. Touché.
“She looked like she was itchin’ to get out of this stall. Besides, I could use some fresh air.”
“You sure that’s it?” Cooper pushed. He wanted to talk about last night but didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. So, that was what he did, he beat around the bush.
“I’m sure.” I pulled my arms in and crossed them over my chest. “Why would you think I’d run away from anything?”
“’Cause I know you, Kins. I know the look in your eye when you’re not sayin’ what you really want to. I know what you tell others to make them think you’re okay. I know you.” He pushed off the wood doorway and took a step toward me. “Don’t think I didn’t see how you reacted when Ashton grabbed you from behind last night when your jackass ex came at me.” I swallowed hard. I had forgotten about that. I didn’t think anyone noticed. “You wanna tell me what happened?”
“No.” I turned, grabbed the lead off the hook next to Peaches’ stall, then slipped under the rubber stall guard into Peaches’ stall. My fingers pulled down the lever on the snap and hooked it to the bottom of her halter. Walking Peaches back to the door, I unsnapped and dropped the rubber barrier, keeping her from escaping and traipsing down the road.
“Ya know what, Ford looks like he wants to get out for a little while too,” Cooper said as I walked Peaches past Ford whose head stuck out of his stall watching our little exchange. He was testing my patience. I stopped walking and turned back around to face him.
“No, Coop. You need to turn around and walk out the same door you just came through and leave me alone.” I threw his words from last night back in his face. Before he could say a word, I whipped back around and continued down the barn aisle to where the grooming boxes were shelved. Picking up Peaches’ box by the handle on top, I walked her
a few more feet to the cross ties. I bent down and picked up the snap connected to the braided rope. Not bothering with the second tie, I snapped the rope to the right side of her halter, tossing the lead over her neck. Once she was secured, I turned and ran smack into Cooper’s broad chest. “I thought I told you to leave me alone,” I grunted, taking a step back.
“Not happenin’, Kins. I don’t scare that easy.” Cooper stood his ground and didn’t move out of the way as I tried to step around him.
“Oh, what? And I do?” My eyes widened.
“You sure as hell took off last night,” he accused, crossing his thick arms over his chest.
“Well, I’m not in the business of letting anyone, even you,” I poked the middle of his hard chest with my index finger, “Cooper O’Loughlin, shit on me. I don’t care if you were pissed or not. I don’t deserve to be treated like that.” I huffed and continued. “Just dismissed like some . . . some . . . I don’t know, but I didn’t deserve for you to yell at me,” I stammered and stuttered like an idiot. I was mad and embarrassed as I stumbled over my words. He looked on as I ranted with this arrogant smirk. “God, you’re infuriating!”
“You done?” he asked.
“No. I’m not. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and apologize and you were a big jerk.” My nostrils flared as my forehead puckered. “There . . . now, I’m done. So, move.”
He stood there, unmoving, looking into my eyes as if he were searching for something. If I wasn’t so riled up I might have been turned on. He was so damn handsome. God, I wanted to kick him for being almost too much to resist. Bastard.
“You done now?” His brow raised.
“I just said I was.” Jesus, that man was maddening.
“Good. My turn.” He took a step back, giving me a little space, but not much. “I was a dick last night. I tried to apologize, but you had already passed out from drinkin’ way too fuckin’ much.” His words trigger a memory that I had dismissed as a dream. “I wasn’t mad at you, Kins,” he said, leaning against the stone wall. “I mean, maybe a little for ever being with a guy like Geoff. He never deserved you.”
“Much like Maggie,” I muttered.
“Yeah, much like Maggie,” he agreed. “Seeing him made me remember all the shit he did and how he hurt you, and I got pissed.”
“You certainly didn’t look pissed at Sam,” I interrupted.
“Don’t look now, but you sound a little jealous, Kinsley,” he countered as an arrogant, knowing smile slipped across his face.
“I hate her.” I did hate her, with a passion of a thousand suns. For years, I have wished she would disappear, so I would never have to look at her traitorous face ever again.
“I know you do,” he said sympathetically. “Just before you came up to us, I was tellin’ her she probably should leave before you saw her. I tried to manage the situation without it comin’ to blows with that dickhead, but you know how that ended up,” he said, bending over and picking up the stiff brush, tossing it to me. “Maybe we can continue this while we ride?”
I took a deep breath then shook my head. “Fine.”
I had no resolve when it came to Cooper. He had me hooked like a yoyo. It was sort of pathetic really. He could push me away but with just a gentle tug, I’d come running back. Every. Time.
Ten minutes later, we were tacked, mounted, and moseying out through the back pasture toward the fifty or so acres of thick woods and meandering creeks that cut through the hillside.
The first ten minutes out were quiet. It was nice; being out there with Cooper but not having to say anything. Just being. Listening to the branches scraping together in the light breeze and smelling the fresh cut hay in the adjacent field. It felt so right, so natural.
“For the record, you shouldn’t drink so much at a party like you did last night,” Cooper said what I knew to be true, but I knew I would be fine surrounded by my friends. Ford walked beside Peaches, both on a loose rein, with no care in the world.
“Oh, really? And just why is that?” I countered refusing to admit he was right, turning my head slightly left to get a look at him as he lectured me on drinking. I knew better than to get trashed at parties, which is why I didn’t do it unless I was with people I knew I could, and did, trust with my life.
“Anyone could have scooped you up and taken advantage of you, Kins.”
Quietly, I thought to myself, if it was you I wouldn’t care, but I refrained from verbalizing my hedonistic desires. “I was with you, Ashton, Ethan, and Storm. No one in their right mind would’ve messed with me, Coop.”
“Here, no, but what about at college parties. That shit happens all the time,” he said nonchalantly, having no idea the wound he had opened. I tried so hard not to flinch or have a reaction. I stared ahead, ignoring the comment. His words reminded me of the voice that woke me up in the middle of the night at my last college party. “Hey . . .”
“Huh?” I pretended to be daydreaming, lost in the nightmare of that night.
Cooper tightened the reins, pulled back slightly, and brought Ford to a halt. “Listen, Kins, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Tapping the reins with a whoa, I stopped Peaches and looked over at his handsome face full of candor. Smiling back at him, I said, “I do.”
“So, you wanna start with why Ashton grabbing you last night freaked you out so much?” he asked. I had to get some space. I really did not want to talk about it, at all, but I knew Cooper well enough to know he wouldn’t drop it.
With a soft squeeze of my calves and quiet cluck from the corner of my mouth, I moved Peaches forward and away from the question. “There’s nothing to tell, Coop. He caught me off guard. That’s all.”
“You sure about that?” Cooper gave Ford a little encouragement and soon they were beside us again, walking side by side.
“Positive. So . . . what’s new with you?” I looked over as he caught back up with me.
“Nice change of subjects, Kins.”
I shrugged in reply.
He stared at me for a beat, sighed, and continued. “Not a whole lot. Just working and coming up here when I have a free weekend to try to spend what little time we have left with Dad.” His body tensed, and I knew he was fighting back the emotions he didn’t want anyone to see. Not even me.
Tears welled in my eyes as a familiar heaviness settled into my chest. “I know I’ve said it, but I am really sorry. I’d give anything . . . ,” My voice trailed off because there were so many things I wished I could change. I hated seeing him and Ash hurting so much.
“Yeah, I know . . . I’m sorry we haven’t really had time to hang out and catch up in the last few weeks. Work’s been busy, and you’ve been with Ashton most of the time,” he said, looking ahead at the path that would soon narrow. In true Cooper fashion, he changed the subject.
“I’m with Ashton most of the time because he’s here every day and I’m helping him with the lessons. Besides, he’s my best friend. We’ve always been kinda inseparable,” I reminded him with a soft smile and a shrug of the shoulders. “Where are you now?” I knew he had to be close since he was home every weekend, I just hadn’t thought to ask before.
“Meade, but hopefully not much longer. I put in for a transfer to Aberdeen,” he said.
“Really?” My voice jumped and even caused Peaches to startle a tad. Releasing the reins with one hand, I reached forward and rubbed her neck. “Sorry, sweet girl.”
Cooper chuckled at my excitement. “Yeah, but it could be a month or so before I know.”
“So, what’s the job? What would you be doing?” I asked, eyes wide in delight.
“Same as now, cybersecurity, but it’d be closer to home, a higher paygrade, and -”
“Wait, you’re not in Special Forces anymore? How did I miss that?” My head cocked to the left, shocked. Maggie had really done a number on him.
“Nah, after I got divorced, I took a job in the cybersecurity di
vision and moved to Fort Meade. I’m on base but I’d love to get out of the house I’m in. Don’t get me wrong, I like the guys I live with but I’m over them just wanting to hang out and drink.” He shrugged, resting his left hand holding the reins, on the horn of his Western saddle. He continued to talk but I couldn’t hear the words over the rocking of his hips. With each step Ford took, Cooper’s hips rolled back and forth. “I don’t know. I guess I’m too old for the bullshit anymore.”
The sun shone through the tree tops as we reached a small clearing just before the creek. Off to the side, a large tree trunk laid across the forest floor, fallen several years before. In the rays of golden light, specks and spots could be seen floating and dancing as the breeze blew through the trees.
“What about you? What’re you gonna do with your degree?” he asked, as we descended the short hill to the sand creek side.
“Um, I’m not really sure. I haven’t really start looking for a job. I was thinking I’d take the summer to really decide,” I explained. “But then Maria offered to pay me to teach the lessons.”
“And?” Cooper inquired with a knitted brow.
I sighed. “I’m not sure. It doesn’t feel right taking money from them right now, but I need a job and it would help her out. Plus, I promised your dad I would help her.”
“Sounds like you already know what you want to do but, as always, your heart is too big. The farm can definitely afford to pay you. Don’t worry about that. Mom was just telling Dad the other day that she had to open up a bunch of more classes because we had so many new students.”
“I would need to get certified if I’m gonna do it on a permanent basis, but that’s not too difficult.” Relaxing my shoulders, I smiled at the thought. Riding was my passion.
“So, do it. You clearly want to.” Cooper stopped just shy of the water’s edge. “You go first.”
“Thanks.”
On a slack rein, I nudged Peaches into the water. Unable to see through the murky water to the bottom, I allowed her to navigate her way through the rocky creek-bed and not get either of us hurt. She stopped about midway through the stream that would have come up to my thigh and waited for Ford. After taking a drink of the cool water, she pawed the ground, splashing water in every direction. As her shoed hoof raked back and forth, I could hear the metal shoe clanking against the river rocks.
Claiming Cooper (O'Loughlin Brothers Book 1) Page 8