Ford, just behind us, reached Peaches and joined in, the water cooling their bellies. Cooper and I sat atop of our respective mounts, laughing. While they played in the water, I took the opportunity to stretch my arms above my head and twist my back in both directions.
Even hiding in the shadows of the large oaks and maples, it was hot. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about jumping in the water. The pool would be my best friend as soon as I got Peaches cleaned up and put away. I could feel beads of sweat slowly rolling from between my shoulder blades, gaining speed as they slid down my spine.
I turned to Cooper to tell him we should head back, but before I could engage my mouth, my eyes landed on the sweetest of sights and I almost fell out of the saddle. His hands held tight to the hem of his shirt, as he lifted the cotton above his head, exposing a wall of well-defined, tanned muscle. Unaware of my gawking, he bent down, with shirt in hand and dipped it into the water quickly. Ringing out the excess water, he finally glanced in my direction. “What?”
My eyes widened, and my head whipped around like it was on a swivel, looking away. I had been busted and my heating cheeks betrayed my embarrassment. “Nothing, I was just going to suggest that we head back because it was so hot.”
“Thus, why I wet my shirt,” he explained. That’s not the only thing you wet. “Kinsley Allen, did I just embarrass you?” Cooper laughed as I heard Ford walking closer.
I willed the redness from my face. “No, I was . . . uh, just giving you some privacy.”
“If I wanted privacy, I would have warned you.” His voice was deep, suggestive and riled me up in ways that terrified me. If Peaches chose that second to move, I would have fallen off and embarrassed myself even further.
Ford continued past me with a shirtless Cooper, and climbed the bank on the other side of the creek. Once on dry land, Cooper slipped the opening of the sopping wet shirt over his head and pulled the hem down, covering his drool-worthy abs. The shirt clung to him like I had dreamed of doing myself. “You coming?”
“Yeah,” I answered, urging Peaches out of the water and up the embankment.
“I know there’s something you’re not saying. Just know I’m always here for you.” Ford continued to walk at a clipped pace, Peaches mindlessly following along, not bothered by the quick stride.
“Yeah, I know that, but there’s really nothing to talk about, Coop.” I refused to meet his eyes.
“You say that, but I’m not buyin’ it, Kinsley. I saw you. I saw the panic in your eyes.” He tightened his fingers around the reins, stopping Ford on the moss-covered trail.
“Why do you assume something happened to me? He just scared me,” I maintained, passing him by. Ford, not one to be at the back of the pack, got antsy and stomped his hoof.
“Kinsley, I have known you most of your life. I’ve never seen you look like that,” he said as I heard Ford coming up beside me.
“I really don’t -”
“Cut the shit. I can read you like a book and you’re lying through your perfect teeth,” Cooper argued. Reaching out, his fingers wrapped around my bicep, claiming my full attention. “Spill it.”
With a deep breath, I sat deep in my saddle and tugged the reins a tad, halting Peaches. So much for him not pushing it. “I don’t know why I thought I’d ever be able to keep this a secret,” I grumbled to myself. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to tell him about this. My chest tightened as the dread tried its best to creep in.
No. I won’t be ashamed. It wasn’t my fault.
I sat tall, steeled my spine, and the words just came flying out my mouth without hesitation. “The night before I came home, I was attacked. I fought back. He . . .” I took a deep breath blowing it back out hard and continued, “hit me. Punched me. And . . .” I refused to feel like a victim, I pushed back the burning sensation in my nose. “I fought him off. See, end of story. No big deal. It’s not like he actually raped me,” I blurted out. For a split second, I felt free. The weight had somehow been lightened, not gone, but lifted a little. It all went to shit when I lifted my gaze to Cooper.
And there it was. Pity.
He looked at me like some poor, broken, little doll.
“That,” I tipped my head forward toward him, “is exactly why I didn’t say anything,” I seethed, shaking my head.
“What?” he asked with a furrowed brow. “What did I do?”
I gathered the reins, gave Peaches a gentle kick with my heel, and she shot out from under me, just as I prayed she would. I didn’t look back to see if Cooper followed. Truth be told, I hoped he didn’t. I didn’t want to see that look in his eyes again.
Was it completely and totally childish to run away? Without a doubt, but I refused to sit there and look at him looking at me like I had been broken. I wasn’t broken. Peaches cantered along, jumping a few logs on her way back to the barn.
For a few minutes, everything seemed peaceful as my anger calmed. The wind blew through my hair, clearing my mind. All of my focus went to the running beast beneath me; the trust she freely handed me to guide her safely through the narrowing path and the powerful stride in which she carried me. I got lost in the rhythmic sound of her heavy hooves hammering the damp soil as we ran.
In the distance, the red barn came into view through the greenery of the tall trees. The trail looped around the farm bringing us back up behind the barn.
“Whoa, girl,” I commanded with a firm grip on the reins. “What do you think? You wanna head back or take a cool down lap around the hay field?”
Peaches heaved as I dropped the reins to her neck and let her decide our destination. In a leisurely pace, she headed for the barn. When we arrived at the driveway, I kicked my right foot out of the stirrup, threw my leg over her rump, and hopped down.
I made quick work of getting Peaches untacked, hosed off, and turned out. Retrieving my phone from my back pocket, I turned the corner out of the barn and saw the text message on my cell. It was a picture of me and Ashton at the store. It had to be earlier this week when Maria sent us out for groceries.
Holy shit. Someone was watching me. My hands began to sweat, and my chest tightened with dread. I had to get home.
So absorbed in the threatening text, I wasn’t paying attention. I plowed right into the burly chest of one Cooper O’Loughlin. My cell phone fell from my hands, landing face down on the dusty concrete.
“Where’s the fire?” he asked, his face full of worry.
“No fire. Just heading home to grab a bite to eat before the beginner class,” I lied, bending over and snatching the phone up. Screen intact, thank goodness. I locked the screen, so Cooper didn’t see the image. The thought of eating food made me want to hurl.
“Good, that means you’ve got time to listen to me,” he started.
“Nope. Sure don’t.” I tried to sidestep around him toward my car, but he wasn’t having it.
“Come on, Kins. You can’t just tell me what you did and take off. Why’d you run off?” Cooper asked with the same look of pity that sent me running for the hills last time.
“That look,” I explained. “I don’t need your pity, Cooper. I’m just fine.”
“What’re you talking about? I don’t pity you, Kinsley. I genuinely wanted to help. The look you see here,” he lifted his hand and pointed to his face, “is a look of concern. You really should talk to someone. And if you won’t talk to me, then at least talk to Ashton, because you’re not fine.”
“And who made you the expert on the topic?”
“You forget, I’ve been deployed.” Shit, he had me there. “I get it. Really,” he softened. “But I promise, it does help.”
“There’s not much to tell. I basically told you what happened.”
“When you’re ready to talk about it,” he reached forward and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, “I’ll be here to listen. You’ve got my number.” The contact of his skin to mine was electric. If it had been visible, it would have lit up a night’s sky.
>
He turned and walked over to where Ford waited, tied to the fence. I was shocked that he dropped it, at least for now.
Cooper was stubborn but patient. He might have walked away but he would be back to pester me. I might not have known when, but I knew without a shadow of doubt, he would be.
No way he would just drop it.
The problem was, too much of me couldn’t go there again. The nightmares and memories were bad enough. I couldn’t open my soul, even to Cooper, and really take myself back to the moment I felt violated and afraid.
To the place where I became damaged.
ON TUESDAY, I RECEIVED THE call I had been dreading. The detective on my case wanted to talk. More of the same questions from the night of the incident. I guess he thought if I was lying, I would have changed my story. I was stunned when he called the next day to tell me the district attorney, Henry Smythe, and Julian’s lawyer were working out a plea deal for misdemeanor sexual battery. The whole ordeal was almost over.
I had yet to tell anyone about the text messages I had been receiving. I prayed it would be over now that Julian had admitted his guilt. I thought about telling Dad, but I hadn’t gotten that many.
Mom and Dad had been sitting with me when I spoke with the DA earlier in the morning. I had my cell on speaker, sitting on the countertop in the kitchen as he explained the terms of their deal.
“He’ll plead no contest to sexual battery and pay a fine of five thousand dollars. He’ll be on probation for five years, be placed on the sex offender’s registry, and must enroll in a sex offender’s treatment program. And here is why I called you, his lawyer is asking for him to be entered into the diversion program,” Henry explained.
“What’s a diversion program?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, looking at my dad.
“The easiest way to explain it is if he completes the treatment program, follows his probation, checks in when he is supposed to, and follows the rules of the registry then at the end of his probation, his charge would be dismissed,” he clarified.
Dismissed? Like he had done nothing wrong?
“No,” my father said. “Not a chance in hell.”
“Phillip, let him finish,” my mother interrupted.
“Given this is his first offense and the fact he was intoxicated; I tend to think this was a horrible mistake he would never repeat. He seems to be very remorseful,” the DA continued. My stomach rolled. I was going to puke. “He agreed to plea, so you would not have to testify.”
“Oh, well, please be sure to thank him for me. How fucking gracious of him,” I hissed.
“I believe this to be a good deal, Miss Allen. I am sure this whole situation has been very difficult. I only want to close this chapter and allow you to move forward with your life and begin to heal.”
I stared at the phone, unsure of what to say. How could he really get away with this shit? He assaulted me, and he was getting a freaking slap on the wrists. Total bullshit. Rage bubbled until I couldn’t hold back.
“So, in other words, you’re only calling to tell me what is going to happen. I have no say in this,” I scoffed, waiting for his affirmation. “Fucking great.”
“I’m sorry, Miss Allen, my intentions were not to upset you, but to keep you apprised of the situation as we move forward. Do you have any questions?”
Did I have questions? You bet your sweet ass I did, but what was the point. He had already made the deal. That maggot was getting off easy.
I didn’t get off so easy when he crept into my room. Or when he kicked me in the chest. Or when he punched me in the face. I may not have been raped, but having to fight for my life was almost as traumatic. If I hadn’t, I may have been the one to end up in the hospital bed.
“Not at this time,” I grumbled, reaching for my phone.
“Does she need to do anything else?” Dad asked before I could end the call.
“No, sir, she has done everything she needed to do,” the DA concluded.
“Thank you,” my father said then nodded to me. I pressed the red circle, ending the call.
“Honey, why don’t you let me make you some pancakes,” mom offered. Pancakes were my favorite and it was what she usually made to cheer me up.
“I need to clear my head. I’m going for a run,” I mumbled, walking out of the kitchen heading to the door to the deck. I felt like the walls were closing in around me. I may not have been back in that bedroom right then, but the same trapped feeling overtook my body. I had to get the hell out of there.
* * *
The more pissed I was, the harder I pushed myself. I pushed until my legs couldn’t keep up with the rest of me. I fell on my knees and slid to a stop on the damp grass along the side of the blacktopped road. For ten seconds, I would allow myself to cry. And I did. I sobbed, sitting on the side of the road. With my knees covered in grass stains, I let it all out. After my allotted time, I took a few deep breaths. You don’t have time to break down. It serves no purpose. You’re stronger than this, Kinsley. I reined it in and picked myself up, both literally and figuratively.
As I ran, I forced myself to concentrate on each step and not the panic that seemed to pace me, step for step. I refused to give up my routine for anyone, but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t looking over my shoulder.
Half way into my second mile, I was running past the first pasture of the farm when I saw Cooper’s black Wrangler leaving a trail of dust as it came down the gravel driveway. When I approached, he climbed out of the Jeep and leaned on the front fender. Dressed in blue jeans and my favorite faded plaid shirt, he waited for me to slow.
Stopping at the end of the driveway, I walked over, panting and covered in sweat. Bending over, I gasped for air and tried to slow my breath before I attempted to speak.
“Have a good run?” Cooper asked. The morning sun had just crested the top of the trees and shone brightly behind Cooper.
“I guess . . . so,” I huffed, squinting up at him.
“You okay?” he asked with a frown, pointing at my discolored knees.
“Oh.” I glanced down as my fingers found the stains and rubbed them furiously. “I lost my footing.”
“Okay.” He hid behind a tight smile, knowing I was lying. “Well, I’m heading out. I’ll be back tomorrow night and will be staying the weekend.”
“Sounds good. See you later,” I said, standing up straight. I slipped my hands under the front of my shirt and brought it up to wipe the sweat from my face.
“Uhh,” Cooper mumbled as his eyes snapped down to the ground as if he dropped something. “Okay . . . I . . . uh, will see you tomorrow then.” He retreated to the Jeep.
Turning around, I jogged back across the road and continued walking east toward my parents’ driveway, trying hopelessly to cool down. I heard the Jeep start and gravel flung as he drove away. My cell phone vibrated, startling me and distracting me from Cooper’s hasty departure. Reaching behind me, to the zippered pocket in my waistband, I slid the zipper back and pinched my phone between my thumb and index finger, tugging it out.
Anna. We had spoken almost every day over the last two weeks and she was hell-bent on coming to visit. “Hey, Anna.”
“Where are you?” she asked enthusiastically.
“Uh, walking down the road to my parents’ house . . . Why? What are you up to?” My brow pinched together as I reached the gated drive.
“I’m . . . uh . . . parked in front of your house,” she declared with a little laugh.
She was here? Oh my God, she was here. I ran up the hill, through the woodline and finally saw a silver Honda SUV, parked next to my convertible. I squealed and sprinted at her as she unfolded her tall, slender frame from the unfamiliar vehicle. She hadn’t mentioned getting a new car when we spoke, then again it was Anna. She changed her cars as often as she changed her cell phone numbers. It all went back to her father and their business. He must be more important than she let on.
After Samantha’s ultimate betrayal, I had steered awa
y from girlfriends. Truthfully, friends in general. Everyone but Anna.
Her vivacious smile and glossy black hair shone as she stood there waiting with arms stretched wide, watching me jog up the drive. “Ahhh,” she squealed in delight. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen your face.”
“I can’t believe you’re really here,” I said to her as I finally reached her awaiting embrace. Her arms tightened around my shoulders as we jumped and spun in a circle like idiots.
“What can I say, I can’t live without you.” She laughed, releasing me then turned back to her car. “Let me grab my cell so you can help me find a local hotel that doesn’t look like it’s ran by the Bates Family.”
“What? Why would you need a hotel? You’re totally crashing with me,” I insisted, walking around to the back of her SUV. “Is your luggage in here?”
“Yeah, but . . . are you sure?” Anna cocked her head. “I can get a hotel, babe. I don’t wanna be an inconvenience or put you out.”
“I’m sure. You’re staying with me. My parents made me a little apartment above the back garage.” I reached out, squeezed the handle of the lift gate, and stepped back while it opened automatically. “I have a king-size bed, so there is plenty of room for both of us.”
“Not if you bring home that Hottie McTottie Cooper.” She waggled her eyebrows and smiled evilly.
“Oh-my-God, Anna, knock it off. You know that’s never gonna happen,” I told her, stepping under the hatch and seeing all the luggage. I reached in, found the handle, and lifted one of three small suitcases out of the trunk. “Good gravy, how long are you planning on staying?”
“A week or two. Unless I find me a hot country boy to ride like a buckin’ bronco,” Anna said as serious as the day was long. She leaned in and grabbed the handles of the other two suitcases. “Can you grab my purse off the front seat? My cell is in the cup-holder.”
Claiming Cooper (O'Loughlin Brothers Book 1) Page 9