Sharing You

by Molly McAdams

  “They made me do it, you have to believe me. They made me say you planted it! I didn’t want to, but you know how my parents are.”

  My eyebrows shot up at her desperate plea for me to believe her. Tears included, this was the sanest I’d seen Liv in years. “What are you saying, Olivia?”

  “I didn’t—couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted to be with Tate,” she sobbed and clutched at her chest. “I can’t deal with this pain, Brody. It’s killing me! So I-I-I just took them all.”

  Walking over to the kitchen table, I pulled out the chair closest to her and sat down. Leaning forward, I grabbed her arms as gently as possible, and pulled them back when she tried to cover her face again. “Olivia . . . what? No, the report came back. The doctor said you didn’t have any of it in your system.”

  “They must have something on him, or paid him off . . . something! They told me they couldn’t have this ruining their family name, so they needed to make it seem like a medical condition. But, Brody, I swear I didn’t know they were going to try to throw the blame on you! I’m so sorry.”

  I shook my head back and forth and leaned back in the chair. “No. No way. Liv, you’re just as manipulative as they are. The things you’ve been telling them—no. I’m not falling for this shit again,” I said as I stood to leave.

  “Brody, please!”

  “How do you expect me to believe you after everything you’ve done since we got married, Olivia?!” I yelled, and she flinched back in her seat. “I’ve excused your behavior, I’ve looked the other way, and I’ve tried to get you help. But no matter what I do, you and your parents are right there trying to screw me over for it.”

  “I didn’t want to admit I needed help! I didn’t want to admit I was that weak!” she cried, her voice breaking on the last word. “I’m telling you, and I’ve told you—I can’t do this. But my parents . . . they don’t understand, and—and—what was I supposed to do, Brody? I couldn’t tell them that I wanted to die! I couldn’t tell them I didn’t have the will to live anymore, so I just put it off on you. I’m sorry for that, but it just seemed easiest at the time.”

  “Seem—seemed easiest?!” Raking my hands roughly through my hair, I turned and took a few steps before turning back toward her. “Are you fucking kidding me? They tried to get me fired! They tried to get my peace officer license taken away, Liv!”

  “They may have acted on things too harshly, but they were doing what they thought was best for their name, and for me. They’re just trying to protect me!”

  “I don’t give a shit what they thought they were doing! The three of you—no! The four! You, your parents, and their attorney have been ruining my life. All of this has got to stop, do you hear me? You need to tell your parents what’s happening with you. You need to tell them that you’re suicidal, Liv. And you need to let me get you some help!”

  She cried harder and shook her head back and forth. “I can’t! It would be such an embarrassment to them!”

  I flung my arms out to the side and my voice got even louder. “Tell me how it could be a fucking embarrassment for their daughter to get help? How could that be worse for them than her being dead, huh? They’ll just have to get over it! Why are you acting like your parents are in the spotlight or something? They’re just normal people. No one is going to know, or say anything, if you get help. And I swear to you, your parents will both be much happier to have their daughter alive and not sick any longer.”

  “You don’t understand, Brody! You’ve never understood!”

  “Stop with that bullshit! I do understand! No, I didn’t grow up in some goddamn country club neighborhood. I didn’t grow up being given everything I ever wanted. But I do understand what it’s like to lose a fucking child. And I sure as hell know that I would rather Tate be in a hospital than in the ground. So I know your parents would feel the same.”

  Her shoulders shook, and her blond hair covered her face as she cried into her hands.

  “Olivia. This is the last time I’m offering this. Let me get you some help, please.”

  No words came from her, but she nodded her head a few times.

  A relieved sigh blew past my lips, and I walked back to sit in the chair next to her. “All right, then that’s what I’ll do.” Lifting her head with my hand, I looked into her bloodshot eyes and made sure she understood every word. “You need to tell your parents what’s going on. You need to tell them you’ve been lying to them about me. And you need to tell them to get their attorney off my back.” My jaw shook as the words I wanted so badly to say to her sat on the tip of my tongue, but instead, I simply said, “I need to be able to live my life without him threatening me at every turn.”

  Olivia’s blue eyes narrowed the smallest fraction, but I still saw it. She knew something was coming; she wasn’t stupid. We’d grown too far apart for her not to know it was coming eventually. And with that statement, she had to know it would be coming soon.

  “If you need my help in telling them, let me—”

  “I don’t,” she choked out and shook her head. “We have races out of town this weekend. I’ll tell them then.”

  “Okay.” For the first time in days I had hope that my life with Kamryn would be starting soon.

  13

  Kamryn

  June 22, 2015

  “YOU SOUND HAPPY, baby girl.”

  I smiled and lowered myself onto the couch. “I am happy, Barb. Things are going really well with the shop, Kinlee is still as crazy as ever . . .” I drifted off and smiled at Barb’s belly laugh, but the smile faded as the words I couldn’t say played through my head. Even though you warned me against it, I’m dating a married man.

  “Is she still trying to set you up with someone?”

  Barb’s psychic! “Eh. Sort of. She’s backed off a lot, but that’s just because she and Jace really want me to be with Aiden.”

  “From what you said, I don’t see what was wrong with Aiden.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip and thought back to just last weekend at Kinlee’s birthday party. Once Aiden and I were inside the house, he hadn’t made any more comments hinting at an us, and I’d been thankful for that. Because, other than completely ignoring him, I wasn’t sure what more I could do.

  “Kam, honey?”

  “Hmm?”

  “That Aiden boy—is there something wrong with him? You stopped talking.”

  “Oh, no.” I shook my head, even though Barb couldn’t see me, and sank into the cushions until I was comfortable. “No, there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s gorgeous, has a very admirable job, he’s polite . . . I’m sure you’d love him. He’s just not it for me, you know? I went on that one date with him, but there was nothing more than a friend bond for me.”

  Barb stayed silent for a few moments, and just as I was about to ask if she was still there, she spoke softly. “I know you’ll find a good man, Kamryn. You just have to. Your life is finally going how it always should have, and I just know there’s a man lined up in there somewhere. But you’re only twenty-three. You have plenty of time to find him.”

  I’d found him, there was no question about that. “Right.”

  “Okay, sweet one, I need to get up early to get your parents’ Sunday brunch started, so I need to get me some sleep. You have a good rest of your weekend, all right?”

  “’Kay. Love you, Barb.”

  “I love you too.”

  I pressed END and let my phone fall to the cushion as I stood to find something in the kitchen. Just as I hit the end of the couch, my phone chimed. A chime I’d reserved specifically for Brody.

  Racing back to the phone, I pulled open the text.

  B:

  I’m coming over

  Olivia? No hotel?

  The only response was the sound of my garage door opening. I quickly ran to the door leading to the garage and watched as Brody’s black Expedition pulled in. The second he was in the clear I was shutting the garage door behind him. My body was humming as I watched him exit his S
UV and walk over to me.

  “Olivia?”

  “She left with her parents for Washington and won’t be home until Monday.”

  A smile crossed my lips at the thought of having him to myself for more than a day. “What about the hotel?”

  He shook his head once, his dark gray eyes never leaving mine. “I didn’t have the patience to wait any longer.”

  Before I could respond, his hands were grabbing around my waist, pulling me to his body, and his lips were pressed firmly against mine. A small giggle bubbled up my throat, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

  “I missed you,” I said against his lips.

  “God, I’ve missed you too.” Pulling away from me, a sharp laugh left him when he saw me frown, and his fingers traced my bottom lip. “Don’t pout. There’s something I need to tell you, something I should have told you long before now.”

  My forehead scrunched in confusion, but I didn’t say anything, just waited for him to continue.

  “I love you, Kamryn.”

  Those four words washed over my body, and a shiver ran down my spine. I’d known Brody loved me; it was unmistakable when we were together. What I hadn’t known was that I’d been waiting to hear those words from this man my entire life. A smile broke across my face, and I threw my arms around his neck again as I crushed my mouth to his.

  Pulling back just enough to speak, I looked up into his eyes and replied with every fiber of my being: “I’m so in love with you, Brody Saco.”

  My body tingled with the truth and rightness of those words, and I wanted to say them over and over again, but Brody’s mouth silenced anything else, and soon he was walking us back toward my bedroom.

  “WHAT IS IT?” I asked Brody late the next afternoon after we’d finally left my room to eat something.

  Brody turned and looked at me confused, his eyebrows pinching together as he set his mug down. “What is what?”

  I took a few calming breaths and forced my hands apart when I started nervously playing with them. “About Olivia? What is it about her that’s kept you together all these years?” Brody’s confused expression turned pained, and I hurried to continue. “I know this will sound horrible coming from me, but I’ve always thought divorce was bad . . . but that’s only because the people around me who I saw getting divorced were doing it because they grew tired of who they were with.” Or the men wanted someone younger and the women wanted someone with more money. That’s just how it was in the racing world. “From what everyone has said, that’s not what’s going on between you and Olivia.”

  Brody stayed silent, his body still as stone as he stared down at the granite countertop on the kitchen island.

  “I know why you married her, and it’s honorable, Brody, but if you’re so miserable—and if she’s as evil as everyone says she is—why would you stay with her all these years?”

  He didn’t answer for a long time, and he never moved. When he did finally speak, his eyes wouldn’t meet mine, and his body seemed to somehow tighten even more. “Because I ruined her,” he said on a breath, the words haunting, matching the torture in his eyes.

  When he didn’t say anything else and minutes ticked by, I asked softly, “Ruined her how?” He didn’t respond, but I watched as the torture in his eyes washed over the rest of his features. “Does this have to do with you needing to make sure she’ll be okay?”

  Another five minutes passed, and all Brody had done was nod. Knowing he wasn’t comfortable with this conversation, and knowing I wouldn’t get my questions answered, I slid off the stool and walked around the island toward him. Wrapping my arms loosely around his rigid frame, I placed a kiss on his chest and took a step away from him. My chest ached when he didn’t look away from the spot on the island he’d been staring at. Turning, I walked quickly from the kitchen and into the bathroom to clean up.

  My movements were slow as I moved to the bedroom to put on some clothes, and while I was hurting for whatever pain Brody was in, I was terrified that I’d just pushed him away somehow. It had felt like he was a thousand miles away in the kitchen, and I couldn’t help but worry that feeling wouldn’t go away. I’d strained to hear the door closing, or the garage opening as he left, but there had been nothing. No sound, no indication that he’d even moved from his spot against the counter.

  “I haven’t been in love with Olivia for a long time.”

  I jumped at the sound of Brody’s voice and instinctively covered myself with the shirt in my hands as I turned to face him. “I know.” Sliding my arms into the sleeves, I pulled the shirt over my head and went to sit on the end of my bed. Brody wasn’t looking at me again, but if he was going to talk, I wasn’t going to rush him.

  “But before meeting you, Kamryn, leaving her seemed like the cowardly thing to do. She’s not a good person. She’s always been manipulative, vindictive, and a person who will do anything to make sure she gets her way. And there’s still that side of her . . . but I—I absolutely destroyed her. And to destroy her that way, and then leave her?” He raked a hand through his hair and kept it there. “I just couldn’t do it. Since meeting you, whenever I see the scheming side of her, I don’t know why I bother trying anymore . . . until I see the broken side again, and I know that I still owe it to her to get her help. Because everything that happened to her was my fault.” Looking at me sadly, Brody shrugged helplessly. “She’s this fucked-up shell of the woman that she’d been before, and it’s all my fault,” he whispered.

  I watched as his body settled back against the wall, like he couldn’t handle standing on his own for another second. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him . . . but I couldn’t force myself to move.

  “When Liv gave birth to our son, I guess it went bad. There was a lot of bleeding, she had to go into surgery, and afterwards she was told that she’d never be able to have another baby. That alone was hard for her to deal with, and then . . .” He cut off, and a single tear ran down his cheek.

  “Brody?” My voice was barely above a whisper, but I couldn’t manage anything more. I was terrified of what came after the “and then.” Brody had told me they didn’t have children . . . and with how this story started, and how tortured his face was, I knew it didn’t end well.

  “My son was only six months old . . . I had to go to the store for Olivia, and she wanted time alone, so I took Tate with me. It was really icy that morning, and we were stopped at a red light. The guy who came in behind us couldn’t stop, and when he hit us my car slid into the intersection.”

  Tears slid down my own face at the pure anguish in Brody’s voice. I’d never heard the kind of torment that I was hearing from him now, and my heart broke for him as I tried to prepare myself for what would come next.

  “A car had been flying through and clipped the back of us, and I couldn’t stop the car from spinning no matter how hard I tried. And God, I tried so damn hard,” he cried. “We hit a median, but another car that had been trying to avoid us ended up swerving into us instead. I don’t remember anything after that until I woke up in an ambulance. I freaked and tried to get out, to get to Tate, but they kept me on the stretcher and shut the doors. They didn’t tell me until after I woke up again in the hospital that he was gone,” he choked out, and more tears fell down his face as he slid down the wall. “The car that had hit us up against the median rolled my car over it, and more cars coming up to the intersection slammed into us. He was dead before another driver could come and try to check on us.”

  Moving from the bed, I went to where he was sitting on the floor and kneeled between his legs. Grabbing the hand that wasn’t in his hair in mine, I placed my other hand on his cheek and attempted to brush away the wetness there. His body was trembling, and the guilt that crossed his face had a sob tearing from my own chest as my heart seemed to break even more for him.

  “Liv was never the same after that,” he said and finally opened his eyes to look at me. “I can’t say if she’s depressed or bipolar, because the way she acts is so unlike an
ything I’ve looked up. But she’s not well, and that’s my fault. And Tate . . . I killed him after only having him for a few months.”

  “Brody, no. It’s not—you can’t put this on yourself. It was an accident, and what happened when she gave birth was something no one could have stopped from happening.”

  “I did this to them, Kamryn! I did this to her,” he yelled as he let his head fall back to the wall. “I’ve taken everything from her.”

  “No! None of this is your fault.” Cupping his face, I waited until he looked at me again. “You can’t do this . . . you can’t blame yourself for any of this. What happened—I can’t imagine how difficult it was to go through that, Brody, and I’m so sorry you’ve had to. But it’s not your fault. You have to see that,” I cried when I saw the look in his eyes. He didn’t believe me—the guilt that poured off him said it all. He’d been carrying around the knowledge for years that he’d ruined his wife and ended his son’s life. But he was so wrong—how could he not see that?

  “That,” he began, “is why I need to make sure she’ll be okay. She’s not well, and I need to get her help . . . I owe her that much after all I’ve done.”

  I shook my head for long moments, trying to figure out the right words. Kinlee and Jace had said it was like everything that made Brody Brody had been gone for years. I didn’t see that side of Brody, because I didn’t know what he was like before everything happened. But he was never going to heal from this if he kept blaming himself. “And what about you, Brody? You’ve lost just as much as she has. Who’s supposed to help you?”

  “Do you not see that that’s what you’ve been doing?” he asked. “I’ve never felt as alive as I do when I’m with you. And even when I’m not, I feel like I finally have something to live for again. I was just going through life, going through the motions, just to get through the days. Nothing mattered, and all I ever felt was pain. You’ve changed that. You are helping me.”