The Christmas Edition

by Robin Shope

“You never gave me back the pan.”

  “She didn’t?” Ulilla gasped as her hand fluttered to her chest.

  “No, she didn’t, Ulilla.” Monica shook her head furiously. “I am going right over there…this very minute and picking it up. I am sure I am going to have to look all over for it, too.”

  Lucy brightened catching on to Monica’s plan. “You will have to look all over for it because it’s probably very hard to find by now.”

  Monica grabbed her coat. “Don’t try and stop me.”

  “You really shouldn’t do this.” Ulilla handed Monica her purse and escorted her to the front door. “As long as you are going, be sure to look and see if there are other things you left there.”

  “Good idea, Ulilla. You always have the best advice,” Monica said going out the front door.

  Lucy watched her best friend drive off. What they were doing was wrong but Lucy figured Joe may have done her wrong, too, by raising her hopes. She’d sort it all out with God later on.

  With nothing else to do at the moment but worry, Lucy watched the street. Joe had to come here before returning to his apartment. It would be embarrassing for all three of them if he were to catch Monica shuffling through his drawers and closets. Knowing her best friend, she’d straight away confess. How pitiful it would make them all look.

  Minutes passed. Now Lucy wished she had actually stopped Monica from going. Every wrong deed she ever did eventually was found out, like when she copied chemistry homework in high school. She got an F because she copied from someone who didn’t understand the periodic table any better than she did. That is justice is what her dad told her at the time her teacher called their house with the news.

  Lucy soon sighed with relief as she caught a glimpse of Joe’s SUV coming into the parking lot. He walked into the office and removed his coat, shaking snow from it. His smile told her he was glad to see her. She squinted her eyes in thought, trying to remember if he smiled that way at everyone.

  “The contract is signed, sealed, and delivered. I believe this is number four for us.” Joe set the contract on Carol’s desk. Then he looked at Lucy’s troubled face. “Hey, is something wrong, Boss?”

  “No, I’m fine,” she tried shaking it off. How wrong could life be when she was in the same room as Joe? Then she remembered the root of her angst. Her name was Angela. “An-ge-la called.” The syllables rolled off her tongue.

  “Angela?” Joe turned red and immediately became uptight. “What did she say?”

  “She said she had been trying to get hold of you but hasn’t gotten through. She wants you to call her. It sounds important.”

  Joe took out his cell and held it up. “I’m not getting a signal again.”

  “You can use Dad’s office to speak in private.” Lucy was all business.

  “By the way, how is your dad feeling these days?” Joe asked while heading for the office.

  “He’s fine, why?”

  “I just thought since he decided to take time off it might have something to do with his heart.”

  “His heart? How did you know about that?” Lucy asked with surprise.

  “Ah…I think someone here mentioned to me that he had a heart attack about a year ago. Glad he’s better and feeling well. I’ll go make that phone call now.” Joe began to close the door and then turned back around. “Will you still be here when I am done?”

  “Of course,” she brightened.

  “Good. Maybe we can do something later. Take in a movie or something?”

  “I would love to!”

  Lucy sat at a desk watching the clock. Watching the door. Watching the clock.

  Thirty minutes later, Joe walked out looking upset. “Oh you’re still here. I thought you were leaving.” He seemed confused.

  “No, Joe, I said I would still be here.” Lucy looked up in surprise.

  “I have an appointment at the church with Pastor Owens about the Christmas service. I may not be in again until tomorrow.”

  “I can come with you.” Lucy stepped toward him.

  “No, someone needs to be at the newspaper.”

  “That can be me,” Ulilla offered. “I will stay right here. You go ahead with Joe, Lucy.”

  “No.” Joe was emphatic. “I need to see Pastor Owens alone.”

  Lucy and Ulilla watched as Joe got in his car and drove away. “He keeps me so off balance.”

  “Welcome to the wonderful world of relationships.”

  Lucy was going over the new ads for the paper when Pastor Owens walked into the paper a few minutes later. “You just missed Joe by five minutes,” Lucy told him looking up at the clock.

  “Oh? I didn’t know Joe wanted to see me.”

  “Didn’t Joe have an appointment with you today?” Ulilla asked.

  “No, not today, although he did stop by a few days ago. We had a nice visit, too. Charming young man. Charming.” The pastor reached into his pocket and pulled out the service bulletin. “Lucy, we are changing up the time for the Christmas Eve service and I wanted to be sure these were put in the paper.”

  “Sure, I can do that for you.” Lucy put on a happy face and pretended nothing was troubling her. Acting was something she was really good at. Her college theater class sure came in handy right about now. And here her folks regarded it as a wasted credit. Electives were important. This just proved it.

  Pastor Owens reached into his pocket for his wallet.

  “No.” Lucy stopped him. “This is another form of tithing.”

  “Thank you.”

  He went out as Monica walked in.

  “Here’s the scoop on your mystery man.”

  Lucy held up her hand. “Shhh, wait a sec.” Lucy watched Pastor Owens get into his car and drive away. “Okay, he’s gone now. What did you find out?”

  Monica plunked her purse down and collapsed into the chair. She drew deep breaths and sounded as if she had run the five miles to the garage apartment and then back again. “I got there, rummaged around, and made it back here within an hour. No one saw me either, not even your parents. I am really good at this. Okay, Lucy, are you ready for the scoop?”

  “Just tell me straight out, Monica.” Lucy leaned forward in her office chair.

  “I found empty bottles of wine in different locations of the apartment.” Monica arched her eyebrows.

  “You’re kidding me, right?” Lucy couldn’t believe what Monica was saying.

  Then Monica opened her purse and took out a small pad of paper. “I took notes for you as I went along and I’ll refer to them as I fill you in. It’s important to be accurate where matters of the heart are concerned. One wine bottle was in the bathroom. It was three quarters empty. There were two more on his nightstand. Both of them were empty. I even found one under his bed. That was empty as well. Oh wait, there was another empty bottle in the kitchen trash.”

  This was information Lucy hadn’t considered and it was taking her by total surprise. Was Joe a closet drinker? She worried. “How many bottles in all?”

  “Five.” Monica sat back in her chair and crossed one leg over the other.

  “What else did you find?” Wine bottles were disconcerting and she held her breath waiting for more bad news.

  “Are you really sure you want to hear this?” Monica wanted to know. “Remember, once I tell you the news the information will always be out there.”

  Ulilla scooted into the room. “You can’t stop now.”

  “I found a letter on the floor next to the bed, obviously handwritten.”

  “What did it say?”

  “I couldn’t make out the words. It looked as though water had gotten on it and made the ink run. It was a mess.”

  “What kind of a letter was it?”

  “I think it was a love letter,” Monica dramatically stated.

  “If you couldn’t read the words, how do you know?”

  “I did make out a couple of words, like honey and love you. But even then I am guessing.”

  “Was it from Ang
ela?’ Lucy held her breath.

  “I couldn’t find a signature.”

  “Or was it written from Joe to Angela?” Ulilla asked.

  “Oh, I hadn’t considered that. Let me think a minute.” Monica pressed her finger to the side of her face. “I am pretty sure it was written to Joe. The stationary looked feminine, the type a man wouldn’t use. The penmanship looked kind of curlicue, that is what I could see of it. Joe must really like her a lot because the letter was badly creased; he must have read it dozens of times. I even looked through his drawers but couldn’t find the first page or the envelope anywhere. “What are you going to do?” Ulilla asked Lucy.

  “Nothing…for now. I will tell you this, though, if he marries Angela and brings that woman here to live, I am leaving Turtle Creek forever.”

  “Lucy!” Ulilla gasped. “You can’t let someone drive you away from your home. You belong here. Things just wouldn’t be the same.”

  “I couldn’t stand seeing him with another woman.” Lucy defended herself.

  “If anyone leaves, it will be him.” Ulilla puffed. “But for now you are putting too much importance on that one letter. You have no idea how old it is, who it came from, or who wrote it. Let’s not get carried away with wild imaginations. In the meantime, we’ll just go about our business and keep an eye on him. Want me to go through his desk for you?”

  Lucy thought about the tender moments she and Joe had shared including the night with Joe at the Cotton Candy House and all the work he had gone through for her. These were not the actions of a man in love with someone else. Lucy wasn’t about to give up and act irrationally. Maybe Joe’s past also included a broken engagement.

  She touched her cross. “No, not now,” Lucy said. “Although we have just learned some bewildering things about Joe, we shouldn’t make it worse by jumping to conclusions. Let’s put our faith in the fact God brought Joe to us for a purpose. Let’s wait on Him.”

  The Christmas Edition

  The Christmas Edition

  Chapter Fifteen

  December 16

  Joe had gone to church on Sunday with the Collins family just as he had promised he would do. It was a nice, informative service and it placated the Collins’ family. Even Pastor Owens stopped looking at him in his usual cock-eyed manner. Mission accomplished.

  But today was Monday and here Joe sat again in church. This time he was alone. The sanctuary felt right. Comforting. Peaceful. No wonder people liked coming here. The solitude alone was worth the trip. Although this was the first house of worship he was ever inside, excluding weddings and funerals, he liked the feel of it and wondered what took him so long to try it. Back at the hospital, there was a chapel close to the psych ward but he never gave it a thought, never went in to pray. He always walked right past.

  This church building in Turtle Creek was old and had character. Generations of prayers had been sent from this very spot, which was comforting to think about. Joe knew he was on holy ground. Someone had gone to great care to decorate the sanctuary. Wreaths hung on each window and the altar was filled with pots of red and white poinsettias.

  There was a solid wood door just off the altar area. When it opened, the sound echoed throughout the high arched ceiling. An elderly man walked out and he turned on the light. It cast his face in shadows while it sent a luminous halo about his head. The man walked around the altar area, carefully watching his steps so as not to knock over one of the plants. He spent time straightening the choir’s hymnals. As he turned, a look of surprise crossed his face when he saw Joe sitting placidly on the third pew from the front. “Excuse me. I didn’t realize anyone was here.” He gave his chest a pat. “You gave my old heart quite a start.”

  “I am sorry,” Joe apologized. “I came here for some quiet reflective time and hoped to speak with Pastor Owens.”

  “Sorry but it’s his day off. Maybe there is something I can help you with?” His voice was cajoling, safe.

  “I’m not really sure…”Joe doubted, shaking his head.

  “We can keep this conversation off the record.” The man took a step forward.

  “It’s just that I don’t know how to begin a conversation like this,” Joe admitted. “Actually, I really didn’t come here to see Pastor Owens, or anyone else. I just used it as an excuse to be here. I came to pray and try to find something.”

  “You mean you came to find God.” The elderly man walked down from the raised stage and took an aisle seat across from Joe.

  “Huh?” Joe glanced at the gentleman from toe to head. His boldness took Joe by surprise.

  “You said you came here to find something. We aren’t a store so I assume it’s God you’re looking for.”

  “Maybe.” Joe nodded and then sat reflectively for a moment. “I am not whole-heartedly given over to a God belief system, but I am intrigued by what faith does to people.”

  “Yes, faith is an important ingredient.”

  Joe puffed out a breath. His mind filled with so many thoughts and feelings. It was hard to know where to begin. “You see, I need something, but I am not so sure God or faith can help me. I am filled with guilt and remorse. And other than a whole lot of medication, I don’t know how to relieve myself of this awful searing pain.”

  “Can you identify the root of this pain?”

  “Some of it. I am not who others think I am. I hate that I have deceived so many people I truly care about. They do not deserve this.”

  “Then why not tell them the truth?” the man asked.

  “Ah, you give me a simple answer. If I do that, it may cause them even greater pain.”

  The elderly man put his hands together. “Believe it or not, I do understand your dilemma. In my line of work, I have found if there is pain it must come from truth and not deceit.”

  Joe considered this and nodded in agreement. “But I still can’t bring myself to knowingly inflict pain, even if it is the truth. Everything would be better if I were actually the person they thought I was.”

  “And who is that?”

  “Someone who is worthy of love and trust.” Joe gave a small pathetic chuckle. “They think I can save their family business. But I can’t do that. No one can. The only thing I am giving them is false hope.”

  “Without hope we perish.” The man raised his bushy eyebrows.

  “Perishing is inevitable.” Joe couldn’t look him in his face. Instead he looked up at the cross. “Initially, I had planned on passing right through Turtle Creek. But then my plans changed. I seem to have become part of a network of people who care about me, and now, I am tangled in a web.”

  “It sounds as though you are where you belong. Who are you really? I don’t mean your name, but on the inside. Who are you inside where no one can see but God?”

  “I am lost…very lost. I lay in the dark, waiting for sleep that doesn’t come.”

  “And why is that?”

  “I am burdened by life.”

  “God can remove that burden. His son, Jesus, paid the price. He is the hope of our faith. Try telling Him what you said to me today.”

  “But He already heard us, right?” Joe asked.

  “Yes, but I know He would like to hear it directly from you. Open your heart to Him. What is holding you back from the truth?”

  “For the first time in my life, I am surrounded by love and I don’t want to disappoint anyone.” Joe’s eyes stung with tears.

  “Even as Christians, we have turmoil. Our faith in God is not a panacea. We just have someone to turn to when all hell breaks out in our lives. You’ve come here to church on a day that we do not have service. Obviously, you need something other than a sermon.”

  “You’re right. I need answers, not therapy. I spent my last two years in that. My only hope is God. I’m hoping that He gets through to me. I thought if I came here then God might speak to me. I’ve been waiting for Him to do something but nothing seems to be happening.”

  “Oh, something has been happening all right to make you come he
re. Maybe you should just give yourself to God and let him work things out.”

  “That would be such a relief.” Again Joe looked up at the cross.

  The man stood up and touched Joe’s head. “Close your eyes, Joe, and when you do think about the cross. All your life you have made choices. With each one you have stepped further away from God. This time step toward Him.”

  Joe felt a numb sensation start in his hands. Tears lined his eyes and spilled over. They came faster and harder, hitting the pew. Lord, do something inside of me .