Milk Money

by Cecelia Dowdy

  She pulled her hand away. “I don’t know if I’m ready for us to date, Frank.”

  Frank’s face fell. “I understand. Will you at least think about going out with me tomorrow?” When she remained silent, he found pen and paper on the kitchen counter. After writing something down, he placed the paper in her palm. “I’ve missed you, Emily, and I hope you’ll let me take you out tomorrow. Here’s my phone number. Just call me and let me know when you’ve decided if you’d like to spend some time together.”

  She mutely nodded, still trying to come to terms with his sudden presence in her home. “Remember that I do love you, Emily. Just give me some time to show you how I feel and how I’ve changed. I’ll try not to disappoint you,” he vowed.

  Emily nodded, watching him leave, already deciding she would go out with him the following day.

  Frank whistled as he prepared for his date with Emily the next day, hoping and praying she would willingly accept him into her life. He had purchased a large heart-shaped box of imported Swiss chocolates and an exquisite diamond pendant.

  He ran his fingers over the sparkling gem, imagining the jewel nestled against Emily’s caramel-colored throat. He then grabbed his coat, headed out the door, and drove down the familiar route to the Coopers’ farm.

  Since he was now renting an apartment near Monkton, he arrived at Emily’s house in minutes and knocked at her door. He heard the sound of high heels clicking on the kitchen floor before Emily opened the door.

  His eyes widened when he saw her wearing a fancy burgundy dress with matching shoes. Her short hair framed her face, drawing attention to her full copper-colored lips and the tiny freckles sprinkled across her nose.

  He kissed her hand. “Emily, it’s good to see you again.”

  She nodded, leading him into the living room. “I’m glad to see you, too.”

  He glanced around the silent house. “Where’s your stepmom?” They sat on the tattered couch, and he placed his bag of gifts on the scarred wooden coffee table.

  “She’s upstairs taking a nap.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. After work yesterday and today she was with a family in need with the church outreach. She just came home a few hours ago, so she said she wanted to take a nap.” Emily frowned as she glanced up the stairs.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She shrugged. “Laura’s been different since her daughter had the baby.”

  “How?”

  She shrugged again. “It’s hard to say. I know something has been bothering her for a long time, but she won’t talk to me about it.”

  “Maybe you should ask her about it again. I’m sure if it was something important she would have told you by now.”

  “No. Don’t assume that. Laura can be close-mouthed about a problem for a long time before she says anything about it.”

  “I’m sure Laura will tell you when she’s ready.” He paused for a few seconds, glancing around the room. “So, how have you been?”

  “Okay, I guess.”

  “Do Jeremy and Darren still come to help you milk the cows?”

  “No, since basketball season started, they said it was too much for them to handle with classes and homework and all. They’re both on the basketball team, so that complicates things with their schedules.”

  “So you’re doing the milking by yourself every day?”

  “Pretty much. I’ll probably get somebody to help me when the weather turns warm again. I think I told you last summer that we go through five hay cuttings, so that’s one thing that adds a lot of work during the summer months.”

  The floral scent of her perfume filled the room with sweetness. He took a deep breath, removing the chocolates and the pendant from the bag. He presented her with his gifts. “I bought these for you. I hope you like them.”

  She smiled, opening the small box and admiring the diamond pendant. “My goodness! You shouldn’t be buying this for me.” Her large eyes were full of apprehension as he removed the pendant and placed it on her neck. The gem twinkled against her caramel skin, and Frank was pleased with his purchase. “I also brought you some candy.”

  “You really shouldn’t be buying this for me. I haven’t seen you for months and—”

  He squeezed her shoulder. “But it looks good on you. If you don’t want to wear it, I’ll understand.” He sighed with relief when she didn’t attempt to remove the piece of jewelry. He checked his watch. “We’d better hurry if we want to get there before the comedy show begins.”

  She fingered the pendant before she stood. “Frank, I need to be honest with you. I still feel funny about your being here so suddenly,” she began.

  “Emily, I know this is sudden. I probably should have handled this differently and called you first. How about we have a long talk about everything after the show?” When Emily nodded in agreement, they drove to Baltimore to see a Christian comedienne. Frank recalled Emily saying last summer how much she’d wanted to see this entertainer when she came to town, so he was glad he had been able to secure tickets. He tried to enjoy the funny skits during the show, but the sad, despondent look in her eyes haunted him throughout the evening.

  Afterward they stopped for hot chocolate at Starbucks. She still seemed sad, so he took her hand, wanting to make her feel better.

  She finally smiled, pulling her hand away before sipping her hot drink.

  She looked outside at the people passing by the window. “What’s on your mind?” he asked.

  “I was just thinking that because of you, I’m still living on my farm. Due to the increase of robberies in town, my stepmother insisted we get an alarm system, and we could afford it since you had … helped us out financially like that.” She squeezed his hand. “Frank, I am truly grateful for what you did for me and Laura. I really am. I promise we’ll pay the money back,” she said softly, her eyes suddenly filling with tears.

  His heart skipped a beat when he moved to her side of the table and sat beside her, pulling her into his arms.

  “Emily, I’m not worried about the money. Now, what’s the matter?”

  He relished the feel of her soft hair in the crook of his neck, her tears splattering against his crisp white shirt. “Oh, it’s nothing.” Her slim brown body fit into his arms perfectly, and he just wanted to hold her forever.

  “Well, something must be wrong if you’re crying,” he persisted, wondering if he would ever understand why women were so strange.

  She sniffed. “My life has just been so crazy since my daddy passed. I had to get used to his death; then you showed up, and then I had to get used to the attraction we shared while I came to grips with the fact that you were an unsaved alcoholic. Then you found that incriminating evidence against my father, and I had to get used to the fact that my father wasn’t as perfect as I thought him to be.” She swallowed, and he continued to hold her. Her hands were shaking, so he took her hands into his, hoping to calm her down. “Then I wondered if there were other facts about my father that I needed to know about.” She gave him a watery smile, and he handed her a tissue. She blew her nose and gazed out the window.

  “Go on,” he urged.

  She sniffed loudly. “Then you helped me save my farm, and then you left.” She snapped her fingers to emphasize her point. “Even though you said good-bye, I still wondered if you were coming back. And then, months later, you appear on my doorstep to pick up where we left off like nothing was wrong. Yes, things have been a bit crazy since the beginning of last summer, Frank. I feel like my life has been one big emotional roller coaster.”

  He released her and faced her directly. Her head was down, so he lifted her chin with his fingers, staring directly into her watery eyes. “I hurt you when I left suddenly?” The realization of what he did hit him like a freight train. She nodded. “I’m so sorry, Emily. I was thinking about turning my life around, getting myself back together in Chicago. Leaving seemed to be the best choice.” He blew air through his lips, still gazing at her. “Plus, I
knew I was in love with you, and I couldn’t stand being around you all the time, seeing you, knowing we couldn’t be together because I was an alcoholic. I guess I was too selfish to realize how my actions might hurt you.”

  He pressed his lips to her forehead. “You know, staying wasn’t an option for me. When my dad died, you don’t know how close I came to drinking again.” He took her hand. “I’m still struggling with my alcoholism, and I wanted to be sure that I’d been sober for a long time before I came back here. I wanted to be here with you. I wanted to see you, but I felt like if I were here and started drinking again, things wouldn’t have worked out with us, and I would have hurt you more by being here instead of staying away.” He squeezed her fingers. “Please say you’ll forgive me. I do love you, and I hope that you’ll believe me eventually.”

  “I understand why you left, but I still have a hard time starting over with you again.” She grabbed a napkin and wiped her eyes. “You know, I was wondering why you bought me those gifts.”

  He frowned. “What do you mean?”

  She touched the pendant. “You leave for six months, and then you show up at my house with this necklace, thinking that things are fine between us and we can start dating.”

  He shrugged again. “So?”

  “So, it almost seems like you’re trying to bribe me to go out with you. I feel like you want to use your money to buy nice things to fix the situation so that you can get your way.”

  “What else am I supposed to do?” He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated.

  “Frank! This necklace means nothing to me. It’s pretty and I love it, but if I could exchange this necklace for some of your time during your six-month absence so that I wouldn’t have had to worry about you so much, I’d exchange it in a heartbeat.”

  He gripped his cup. “Do you mean to tell me that you would exchange the necklace just so you could have had some contact with me when I disappeared for six months?”

  She nodded. “If you had just kept me in the loop and talked to me and told me that you might possibly return, my mind would have been more at ease, and I would have felt better.” She continued to caress the necklace. “This necklace is just a piece of jewelry, but your honesty is priceless. Do you understand?”

  “I think so. I’m sorry. It’s just that …”

  Emily touched his wrist, urging him to continue. “Go on.”

  “It’s just that, growing up, my father wasn’t always nice to my mother. He had affairs, and my mother would get upset and cry. He always managed to buy her something—expensive jewelry or a trinket that she would like. Things would be better for a few months before he started acting up again.” He sipped his chocolate. “I thought women liked getting nice things, and I thought it showed how much I want to spend time with you.”

  He looked out the window, staring at the people walking down the sidewalk. “You know how I take a special interest in Trish’s children and how I used to mentor boys at the rec center in Chicago?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, while I was home, I thought about why I’m so passionate about kids having a father in their lives, especially boys. As I’ve been meeting with alcoholic support groups, talking things out, I’ve discovered that my passion for that stems from the way I wished my dad had treated me. He always provided for Trish and me financially, but we didn’t do a whole lot of things together as a family. He was gone a lot, working long hours, and he was always going away on business trips.”

  “Frank, you’ve never told me any of this before.”

  “Honey, I don’t think I even realized half this stuff about myself until recently.”

  “It sounds like your time away has given you a chance to really think about your life.”

  He agreed before taking another sip of his hot drink. “Anyway, Julie, when I was married to her, used to complain about my buying her things after we’d had an argument. She said my generosity didn’t make the problem go away and that we needed to talk about it.”

  She nodded. “Julie was right. But you’re just following your father’s example, so it’s understandable why you would think that a new item might make a woman feel better.” She changed the subject. “Were you able to straighten out your relationship with your parents?”

  “I’m glad I went to Chicago, because both Trish and I were able to spend some quality time with my father before he passed. We convinced him to accept Christ before his death.”

  Emily squeezed his hand. “That’s wonderful, Frank.”

  He nodded. “Things are still a little shaky with my mom. In my heart, I feel I’ve forgiven them for the way they treated Julie, but I still feel bad for my mom. She’s still not saved, but Trish and I are working on her. She’s grieving so hard for my dad, and Trish and I are doing all that we can to console her.”

  “At least Trish is still there in Chicago with her. Did your mother object to your leaving again?”

  Frank thought about his mother. “Yes, she objected a lot, but I felt strongly about coming back and seeing you again, and I didn’t think it was right for me to stay away. She accused me of abandoning my familial duties since my dad had passed. I reminded her that Trish and her family were in Chicago to keep her company.”

  “Does she know about me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does she know that I’m a dairy farmer? I know she didn’t approve of Julie’s background. I’m not from a privileged background, either.”

  He didn’t want to tell her that his mother already objected to his dating her. Since he sensed Emily was already apprehensive about having a relationship with him, he certainly didn’t want to scare her away with that fact. “Let’s not talk about my mom right now. Let’s talk about us.”

  She stared at the whipped cream and marshmallows floating on her cup of hot chocolate. “Frank, I’m not sure this is such a good idea.”

  His heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”

  She pointed to the hot chocolate. “Us spending time together, drinking hot chocolate, dating, whatever you call it.”

  His mouth dropped open, and he touched the tiny mole on the side of her neck. “Emily, I’ve told you how much I’ve changed over the last six months. The least you can do is give me a chance to prove myself. Why would you not want us to date?”

  She looked at him, her eyes sparkling with fear and apprehension. “I can’t deny there is something between us, but even though you’re saved now, I find it hard to trust you.” She raised her hands in the air. “You’ve been gone for six months with hardly any contact. If we start dating and then I get emotionally involved with you, what’s to stop you from leaving again for another six months?” She fingered the paper mug. “What if you leave again and never come back?”

  “Oh, Emily.” He tried to pull her into his arms, but she pushed him away. “Frank, you need to give me some time and space to think and pray about this. I feel so confused right now.”

  He closed his eyes briefly, silently praying for a way to make her understand how much he truly loved her. “I’ll be praying for you, too, Emily.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “You’ll be praying for me?”

  He nodded. “Yes. I’ll be praying that God will make you understand just how much you mean to me. I’ll also pray that God will soften your heart to forgive me for leaving you for six months.” He stopped and swallowed, still trying to find the right words to say. “I’ll also hope and pray that Jesus will allow you to trust me. I know you don’t trust me right now, but maybe, just maybe, that’ll change.”

  “It just sounds so odd, you speaking of prayer.”

  He shrugged. “I told you I’ve accepted Christ. I’m a saved man, so of course I’m going to pray.”

  She seemed to be thinking about his statement, weighing his words. “I do need some time to think about this.” Her toffee-colored fingers caressed the sparkling diamond nestled on her neck. “I also think you should take your gift back. It’s not right for me to accept such an
expensive item from you if I’m not sure what’s going to happen between us.”

  “Keep the necklace.”

  “But, Frank, I really don’t feel comfortable accepting things from you.”

  He sighed. “Why don’t you keep the gifts until you decide what you’d like to do? Think and pray about it for as long as you want. Take all the time you need. I understand why you’re hesitant about spending time with me again. When you feel more comfortable about it, just let me know, and we can talk about it.” They were silent as the whirring sound of the espresso machine filled the shop. Frank finally spoke. “Come on, I’ll take you home now.”

  She nodded, then stood and gathered her coat. “All right.” She remained silent as he helped her put on her coat, and they walked to his car.

  thirteen

  The following Sunday, Emily stood in the pew, accompanying the choir with the rest of the congregation in the closing hymn. Laura grabbed her arm after they exited the sanctuary. Before Laura could speak, Kelly walked toward them from the front of the church, still sporting her red and white choir robe. “Emily, I’ve been meaning to call you for the last few days, but I’ve been busy.” She seemed slightly out of breath, and tendrils of dark hair fell into her face.

  Laura squeezed Emily’s arm. “Kelly, did you know Frank was back in town? I just saw him in the sanctuary.”

  Kelly frowned, staring at the older woman. “Of course I do, Mrs. Cooper! Didn’t you know?”

  “No, I didn’t.” She gazed at her stepdaughter. “Now I understand why you’ve been so quiet and moody the last couple of days. Why didn’t you tell me that Frank was back? Have you had a chance to speak with him yet?”

  Frank entered the foyer. “Yes, Laura, I’ve seen your daughter. Twice.”

  Emily glanced at Frank. “Hi, Frank.”

  He smiled, touching her shoulder. “Hi, Emily.”

  Mrs. Cooper spoke to the accountant. “You’ve changed so much over the last six months, Frank, I barely recognized you sitting in front of the sanctuary. How are you?” She embraced him, and he smiled.