Don't Die, Dragonfly

by Linda Joy Singleton

  “It’ll be fun.” I smiled.

  He smiled back.

  I could tell he liked me, but then when I thought about it, I wasn’t sure and wondered why a great guy like him would even notice me. Sure I’d rescued him, yet gratitude wasn’t any basis for a relationship. We’d gotten along great so far, but would that change if he knew the truth about me?

  There was an awkward stretch of quiet, and I tried to think of something interesting to say. I had to be careful not to reveal too much, yet I didn’t want to bore him with topics like weather or homework.

  Then I remembered some advice I’d heard Nona give to one of her clients. When in doubt about what to say, ask your date about himself.

  “So Josh,” I said, “tell me about yourself.”

  “What?”

  “Anything.” I shrugged. “Like do you have a pet?”

  “A dog named Reginald.”

  “Do you call him Reggie for short?”

  “Nothing short about my giant dog. We nicknamed him Horse.”

  I laughed. “What’s your family like?”

  “They’re great. Mom’s a Realtor and Dad has some kind of management job at EDH Compu-Tech. They’re always busy, so we have this terrific housekeeper who makes the best lasagna.”

  “Oooh. My favorite,” I said, smacking my lips. “I used to make it for my little sisters.”

  “How old are they?”

  “Nine.”

  “Both of them?”

  “Amy and Ashley are twins,” I explained. Then, because I suspected he was thinking of his brother, I purposely switched the subject and asked him about the couple who would be joining us soon.

  “Evan and I have been friends since we were babies, practically,” Josh said as he slowed for a stop sign. “He’s a year older, and a fantastic athlete. Football, wrestling, baseball—you name it, he’s good enough to go pro. As for Danielle, I only know what Evan’s told me, that she’s smart and pretty. Evan dates a lot so it’s hard to keep up.”

  “Do you date a lot, too?” I asked, then wanted to slap my hand over my mouth.

  “Hardly ever,” he said firmly. “Evan’s fixed me up a few times, but it never works out. He says I’m too picky. But I only want to be with someone I respect.”

  He took his right hand off the steering wheel, resting it inches from my arm. I could feel his energy without even touching, and it made me a little dizzy. In a good way.

  Then we were slowing and parking in front of a ranch-style home. Two figures came down the steps. I recognized Evan’s cocky grin and wide, muscular shoulders from the sports section of the Sheridan Shout-Out. His arm was draped around the tiny waist of a slim, raven-haired girl. While he moved with confident strides, she sort of glided like a shadow beside him. She looked familiar, although she wasn’t in any of my classes, and I was sure we hadn’t met before. The feeling of knowing her was strong, so I turned around for a better look.

  Danielle flashed me a nervous smile as she climbed into the backseat with Evan. She had an exotic sort of beauty—smooth olive skin, a nose that was a bit long, and high cheekbones. Her strapless navy-blue sheer top showed off ample curves that didn’t need any extra help. I felt a stab of envy, wishing looking good came so easily to me.

  Then I noticed the dark tattoo on her wrist.

  A tiny outline of a winged insect.

  A dragonfly tattoo.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and tasted fear. Shivering, I couldn’t take my eyes off the dragonfly tattoo. Its wings fluttered and my head swam dizzily. There was a hammering sound, a heart beating—Danielle’s heart. And I saw the horrific image of her heart soaring through her chest into the air, suspended by wings. The wings flapped wildly, pulling in opposite directions, until the heart split apart.

  “Sabine? What’s wrong?” I heard someone ask.

  “Huh?” I shook away the weird images, and fought to stay sane. The dizziness passed and I was aware of Britney Spears on the radio and the hum of the car engine. Josh and Even were talking to each other, something about football. And Danielle was leaning toward me with a confused expression.

  “Why were you staring at me like that?” Danielle asked, her voice soft like a little girl’s. “Is my hair messed up or something?”

  “Your hair is fine.”

  “Not too frizzy?”

  “You look great. I—I was just admiring your tattoo.”

  “Oh, that.” She sounded relieved.

  “A dragonfly.” I paused. “It’s really … really unique.”

  “Thanks! My grandmother was an artist and I had it copied from an old sketchbook of hers. She’s gone now, but it’s like part of her is with me always.” She glanced at Evan who had leaned back and was smiling at her. “My next tattoo is gonna be for Evan. We could even get matching heart tattoos.”

  “Hearts?” I repeated, cringing a little.

  “Or maybe our initials.”

  “As long as you don’t ask me to pierce my nose or lips,” Evan told her. “I don’t want to look like a freak. Besides, I know a better way of showing you how I feel.”

  Suddenly embarrassed and feeling like a peeping Tom, I turned around and looked straight ahead. Agreeing to a double date suddenly seemed like a terrible idea. And I couldn’t shake that sense of fear. How could I warn Danielle about some unknown danger without revealing my gift? Why didn’t my visions come with a how-to book? If I told Danielle I was psychic, she’d think I was crazy. Worse—she might tell Josh and he’d drop me quicker than yesterday’s garbage.

  But when I ignored visions, bad things happened. I knew from experience—terrible experience—how real they could be.

  What am I going do to? I thought desperately. How can I help Danielle without hurting myself? Of course there was no answer. When it came to predicting my own future, I always came up with a blank screen.

  I glanced over at Josh and caught him studying me. “You okay?” he whispered.

  “Never better,” I lied, ignoring the slurping noises coming from the backseat. “What movie are we going to see?”

  “Evan likes the new Will Smith movie. But if you’d rather see something else—”

  “No, that sounds good.”

  “Great,” he said. “I told Evan we should check with you before picking the show, but he insisted everyone likes this movie, and he knows more about movies than I do. Still, next time you can pick the movie.”

  Next time. I’d never heard more wonderful words. And I resolved to forget about crazy visions, and enjoy my time with Josh.

  When we got to the cinema complex in Lodi, Evan wanted to sit in the far back, so that’s where we headed. He wanted an aisle seat, so Josh and I moved over. I was beginning to notice a pattern in Evan’s attitude—it was his way all the time. Josh was so easygoing, he didn’t seem to mind. And Danielle was crazy for Evan, clinging to him like lint. She seemed much more serious about their relationship than Evan.

  Warn her, Opal’s voice popped into my head.

  “Leave me alone,” I thought.

  You have to stop her before it’s too late.

  “Go away!”

  I realized I’d spoken aloud when Josh set down the soda he’d been sipping and looked at me with surprise. “You want me to go?”

  “No. Not you. I mean—” I hesitated, aware that Evan and Danielle were giving me odd looks, too. The movie hadn’t started yet, so I stood and added, “I—I meant I have to go … to the restroom.”

  Danielle stood up. “Me, too.”

  “Can’t girls go anywhere alone?” Evan joked. “Josh, you notice how they always travel in packs. At school, to the mall, and to the bathroom.”

  “It’s so we can talk about you,” I couldn’t resist saying.

  “Talk all you want,” Evan said. “As long as it’s good.”

  “Only the best.” Danielle bent down to kiss him. “I’ll hurry back.”

  “You’d better or I’ll eat your half of the popcorn.” He grabbed a handfu
l of popcorn and shoved it into his mouth.

  I turned away quickly. A little bit of Evan went a long way.

  “Have you and Evan been going out long?” I asked Danielle as we entered the restroom.

  “Three weeks, two days, and six hours.” She set her purse on the counter in front of the mirror and pulled out lipstick, mascara, and a brush. “But it feels like forever. I never thought a cool guy like him would notice me. I’ve usually too busy studying and don’t have many friends. But now I just want to be with Evan all the time. Is that how it is with you and Josh?”

  I felt my cheeks heat up. “This is our first date. I hardly know him.”

  “But it’s obvious you really like him.”

  “Well … yeah.”

  “And he really, really likes you. Evan says Josh is superpicky about girls and hasn’t dated since last summer. I have a real good feeling about you two.”

  “Do you trust your feelings?” I asked cautiously.

  She shrugged. “I guess.”

  We stood in front of the mirror, and I searched past her striking beauty for her aura. Faint colors of green and orange swirled in opaque gray. Whatever that meant! Opal was good about telling me what to do, but she was terrible about explaining things.

  My gaze locked on Danielle’s tattoo, and I found myself saying, “Danielle, are you in any trouble?”

  “Trouble?” She set down her brush and gave me a wide-eyed look. “Why do you ask? I’ve got Evan and everything is great.”

  “Yeah, but … see, I—I had this dream. And you were in it.”

  “Really?” She giggled a little nervously. “Was Evan in it, too?”

  “This isn’t about him. It’s about you.” I hesitated, getting that old sinking feeling, the same one I had right before I was kicked out of my last school, when I’d looked at a popular football player and saw his face burning down to a skull and heard sounds of a car crash. When I’d warned him not to drive after the prom, he’d spread the word that I was a freak. Everyone laughed at me. But when he drank too much on prom night and died in a head-on collision with a truck, nobody laughed anymore. They were afraid. Of me.

  “Tell me about your dream while I fix my hair,” Danielle said. “But make it quick. Evan gets in a bad mood if I make him wait.”

  “Dreams aren’t important. I shouldn’t have even brought it up.”

  “But it’s an amazing coincidence you dreamed about me before we even met.”

  “Nothing amazing about it. I’ve probably seen you around school. And I knew I’d be meeting you tonight.”

  “I help out in the school office, so you could have seen me there. ”

  “Yeah, that must be it. We better hurry or you won’t have any popcorn left.” I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, not sure I liked what I saw, then quickly turned away and followed Danielle.

  The movie must have been hilarious because the audience roared with laughter, but it was impossible to notice anything other than Josh’s hand holding mine.

  Josh drove Evan and Danielle to Evan’s house. Then we were alone.

  Parking in front of Nona’s driveway, Josh turned off the engine but made no move to get out of the car. Instead, we sat silently for a moment in the darkness. Moonlight shifted through nearby trees and shone golden on Josh’s face. I found myself thinking about kissing, hoping Josh wanted to. I held my breath as I unsnapped my seat belt. It slid off my shoulders with a metallic click.

  “Sabine—” He cleared his throat.

  “Yes?” I said too quickly

  He smiled. “I had a great time.” He held out his hand.

  “Me, too.” I clasped his gentle fingers.

  “I don’t want you to go in.”

  “All right.” My mouth was moving but my brain had thrown in the towel. I was numb.

  He grinned. “Your parents wouldn’t like that.”

  “My parents live in San Jose. I stay here with my grandmother.”

  “Really? But don’t your parents miss you?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “It’s their loss.” Then he leaned forward, pulled me close, and kissed me.

  Saturday morning, I awoke to a crowing rooster. It was tempting to lie in bed a little longer, thinking of Josh, reliving his kiss, but I had chores to do. So I slipped into my grubbiest clothes and went on a treasure hunt.

  Inhaling the crisp air, I picked a trail through dewy grass. Nona’s cow, Daphne, mooed from the pasture and a meadowlark chimed in with a cheerful song. Even though I’d been living with Nona for nearly four months, I had one of those “Ohmygod, I can’t believe I’m here,” culture-shock moments. I expected to hear arguing neighbors or traffic whizzing by with honking horns. But at Nona’s farm, the only honking came from flocks of geese. No noisy little sisters bugging me, hammering on their many musical instruments, showing off their talents. And I didn’t have to face the condemning stares from classmates, teachers—even my own mother. Living with Nona was a new start.

  Entering the chicken coop, I made my way through dirt, feathers, and chicken poop. The first eight eggs were easy to find lying on the ground. One, two, three more tucked in a nest of weeds. But some hens hid their eggs carefully, and it took at least ten minutes before I finally spotted a speckled green egg tucked under a dark corner of the coop. Crawling on my knees, I reached out for the still-warm egg. A gentle nudge and my prize rolled close.

  “An even dozen,” I murmured triumphantly, adding the egg to my basket.

  “Why not go for a baker’s dozen?”

  Dominic stood outside the chicken coop with his arms folded across his chest. His falcon wasn’t around, probably soaring over the woods in search of breakfast. “You missed one,” he said in a mocking tone.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Look under that bush.” He pointed to a prickly berry bush with tangled and barbed vines twining through the fence.

  “Forget it.” I shook my head. “That’s too thorny even for the chickens.”

  “Never underestimate an animal. It’s a large egg, too.”

  “How do you know? You can’t possibly see a tiny egg through all those vines.”

  “A little bird told me.”

  “Yeah. Right.” I rolled my eyes but couldn’t resist a challenge. Cautiously, I pulled the vines aside and peered into the bushes. “Nothing there.”

  “It’s toward the left. Yeah, you should be touching it now.”

  As he said “now,” my hand closed around a smooth egg.

  Instead of being grateful, I wanted to slap the smug smirk off his face. Only when I looked up, ready to tell him off, I saw a woman hovering beside him.

  She was part sunshine and part fog. Short dark hair curled above her neck and smile lines crinkled around her shining black eyes. I knew without being told that Dominic had called this woman “Mom.”

  “What are you staring at?” Dominic demanded sharply.

  “Can’t you see?” I asked in a trembling whisper.

  “See what?”

  “Her.” The woman reached out to Dominic, surrounding him with love as sweet as a summer breeze.

  “There’s no one here except us. ” Dominic furrowed his brow, looking around with a puzzled expression.

  I shook my head, realizing too late that I was the only one weird enough to see ghosts. It hadn’t happened like this since moving in with Nona. Even the night shadows and the voices had quieted down. But I should have known it wouldn’t last. I was cursed, an unwilling messenger for spirits. Once again, the other world was bleeding into my own.

  My darling Nicky, I heard the woman say.

  “Who’s Nicky?” I asked.

  Dominic’s mouth fell open. “No one’s called me that since I was young. Since my mother—”

  “Died,” I finished.

  I left my son too soon. Couldn’t help when he needed me. She held out wispy arms in an imploring gesture. I felt her emotions: love, loss, and longing. Tell him ‘A nickel for your thoughts.’ />
  “A nickel for your thoughts?” I repeated in confusion. “Isn’t that saying supposed to be ‘A penny for your thoughts?’”

  The color had faded from Dominic’s face. He lunged forward, grabbing my arms. “What kind of game are you playing?”

  “Nothing.” I shook him off. “And don’t you ever grab me again!”

  His shoulders sagged. “Sorry. But my mother always said ‘nickel’ because of my name. No one else knew that. How did you?”

  I shook my head, overwhelmed with emotions as I watched a tear fall from his mother’s misty face. She lifted her hand to show a silver coin glittering in her palm. A nickel. Reaching out with filmy fingers, she tucked the nickel in Dominic’s pocket. Her body began to fade until all that was left were bright blue eyes. Then they rose high like ascending stars, blending blue into sky.

  And she was gone.

  Dominic looked at me with disbelief. “What are you seeing?”

  “Nothing,” I answered truthfully.

  “Then why did you say that stuff? Did someone tell you about my mom?”

  “No. I don’t know anything.” I hugged my basket to my chest, glancing down at the eggs. “I—I have to go.”

  He stepped in front of me. “Not until you explain what just happened.”

  “I can’t. I never can.” Then clutching the basket to my pounding chest, I pushed past him.

  The door to the house banged behind me as I entered the kitchen. Setting the basket on the tile counter, I bent over to catch my breath. What had just happened? Why had Dominic’s mother appeared to me? Had she been using me to visit her son one last time? Or had she come to warn of danger?

  I shuddered, remembering that fatal prom night. I’d known the boy was going to die, yet could do nothing to save him.

  As I placed the eggs in an egg carton, I wondered if I should go to Nona and confess everything. She’d know how to help. She often told me how we’d come from a long line of psychics. It had skipped a generation with my mother, but Nona was certain I’d inherited the family “gift,” that the black streak through my blond hair was the mark of a Seer. She’d offered to nurture my abilities, but I didn’t want to be different. I wanted to be an ordinary person who didn’t see ghosts or know things before they happened. Besides, I could never be certain whether I was predicting tragedies or causing them.