Purpose

by Kristie Cook

  I opened my eyes. The room seemed bright for an instant, but my eyes immediately adjusted. I stared at the ceiling and I could see every little swirl and divot in the textured paint as if looking through a magnifying glass. I looked around and the vibrant colors astounded me—colors I’d never seen before. Mom sat on the bed on my left, and I noticed how her hair was not simply auburn or chestnut, but a million different shades of browns and reds, each strand slightly different from all the others. It was breathtaking.

  On the far wall behind her hung an African safari painting, keeping with the theme of the room’s décor. I saw each brush stroke and the tiny initials “TK” in the bottom corner. Tristan must have painted it many years ago. Now I noticed all the little details he had captured—the different colors of the desert sand, the ridges of giraffes’ hooves, the pond’s ripples. Had I not noticed before because I hadn’t paid enough attention? Or because now I could see so much more clearly?

  The painful sensory overload had disappeared, leaving my senses exponentially more powerful.

  That potent energy still ran through my blood and muscles and nerves, but not the icy or burning forces. Just pleasant warmth. This is good energy. This is Amadis power. I had no doubt.

  And an odd but delightful feeling filled my entire body, every cell, deep into the very core of my being. Into my soul.

  Is it over?

  “Yes, dear, it is over,” Rina’s voice answered in my mind.

  She sat on the bed to my right, looking majestic and glorious, although she didn’t wear the usual formal gown, but a black shirt and black jeans, just like Mom. Only Mom wore a cotton scoop-neck T and Rina wore a shimmery silk tank. Rina took my hand and closed her eyes. I could feel her power, but not as strong as it used to be—at least, not relative to my own. I could tell she assessed me.

  “Simply amazing,” she said aloud.

  “Magnificent, as you always said,” Mom agreed, giving my other hand a squeeze. “How do you feel, honey?”

  “Um, good.” My voice surprised me. I expected the words to come out in a croak or even just a whisper after everything I’d been through, but my voice came clear and strong. “Is Dorian okay?”

  I had to be sure. Doubt lingered from the bizarre experience. Things might have changed since the last time I’d been fully aware of everything.

  “Of course he is. He’s at the Amadis mansion. He’s in good hands,” Mom said.

  I wanted to hold him and know for sure. And I couldn’t wait for the three of us to be united, but I also knew he was safer there than here right now.

  “What about Sheree?”

  “She’s stable,” Mom said. “One of our best counselors is working with her now.”

  “So she’s not converted yet?”

  “Conversion can take weeks or months…or longer,” Rina said.

  “Oh.” I had no sense of how much time had passed, but it seemed it’d already been a long time since they’d left. I felt as though I’d slept for days. “How long was I out of it?”

  “We returned about seven hours ago. Not long,” Mom answered.

  “That’s it?”

  “It happened very fast,” Rina confirmed.

  I sat up in the bed, holding the sheet to my chest to cover my nakedness. The door remained closed and only Mom and Rina were in the room, but their eyes stayed glued to me, making me self-conscious.

  “What, exactly, happened?” I asked.

  “You’ve completed the Ang’dora,” Mom answered simply. “You want to see?”

  She and Rina helped me out of bed, but I really didn’t need any assistance. My body felt perfect—strong, healthy, full of power. As we walked into the adjoining bathroom, though, I was glad they were there. Because I staggered with shock when I saw myself in the mirror. They both beamed.

  “Tha-that’s…that’s me?” I breathed. Of course, it had to be. Who else would be standing naked between Mom and Rina with that shocked look on her face and the bright red Amadis mark on her chest? It took me a moment to make sense of the vision.

  I was…beautiful.

  Not pretty. Not even gorgeous like a model or a movie star. But beautiful. Like Mom and Rina and Tristan beautiful.

  My features hadn’t really changed—my eyes were still the same almond shape and mahogany brown and my nose, lips and chin were still shaped the same. They were all just…better. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what looked different, but there was definitely something. My skin looked like golden silk, perfectly smooth. And my hair shone vibrantly like Mom’s in a million shades of reds and browns. And I’d aged backwards even more. It would be hard to pass for much older than twenty. It’s like I am nineteen again. Like I’ve gone back to where my real life left off.

  My body had changed, too. Unfortunately, I hadn’t grown at all. I was still small. But my muscles were more defined, yet in a feminine way. And I was…curvier.

  “Wow,” I breathed as I lifted my boobs in my hands. They were fuller than they’d ever been, even bigger than when I’d been pregnant. Mom and Rina chuckled.

  “Exquisite,” Rina said.

  “Stunning,” Mom added.

  “How?” I asked, running my hands over my body, still trying to grasp that the reflection in the mirror actually belonged to me.

  “We revert to the single point in time when our bodies were physically, mentally and emotionally strongest,” Rina explained. “Then the Amadis power multiplies those strengths. The beauty comes from within—our faith, hope and love shining through.”

  Love. The pleasurable feeling I couldn’t pinpoint earlier flowing through my body and soul. More love than I thought any person—or being—could possibly hold. In fact, it overflowed and I wanted to wrap Mom and Rina within it. If I weren’t naked, I would have pulled them into me.

  “So this is where I stay forever? Looking like this?” I asked.

  “Pretty much,” Mom answered.

  “How? Are we like vampires?”

  Mom chuckled. Rina shook her head.

  “No, not quite,” Rina said. “We are not frozen in time. Our hearts still beat, blood still flows through our veins and we still need oxygen, although we can regulate how much we need when necessary. The explanation is connected to our ability to heal, which is essentially the regeneration of cells and tissues, yes?”

  She looked at me as if expecting an answer, so I nodded my understanding.

  “Sleep allows our bodies to completely heal from the day’s effect on them,” Mom said. “Every organ, tissue and cell regenerates, making our bodies exactly as young and healthy as when we first awoke that morning.”

  “But I could heal before…” I stopped as the realization hit me. “Oh, but only injured cells.”

  “Correct,” Rina said. “It is the Amadis power that regenerates all cells. Every night, while we sleep, our bodies return to their strongest. Every day is, indeed, a fresh start. Because we heal quickly, we do not need as much sleep as normal humans.”

  No wonder Mom and Tristan always seemed to get more things done in one day than many people could accomplish in a week. I couldn’t wait to start this new life.

  Although I didn’t look like I’d been to Hell and back and I certainly didn’t feel it now, I remembered enough of the phases of the Ang’dora—freezing, burning, sweating—to feel the need for a shower. The feeling of the water pouring down on my skin enraptured me, but I showered hurriedly. I wanted to see Tristan. Just the thought of him made my soul sing.

  “I see you’ve been a little too busy to do laundry,” Mom said as I dried myself off. “You only have one outfit left.”

  She laid the brightly colored sundress on the bed. It was my favorite one, which is why I hadn’t worn it yet. Metallic gold outlined the abstract design in jewel tones—ruby, sapphire, amethyst, emerald and topaz—against a black background. The dress seemed too showy for hanging around the house. Now I had no choice but to wear it. When I pulled it on, the silk slid softly against my skin, like the brush of s
oft, smooth lips.

  “Where’s Tristan?” I couldn’t wait to be in his arms again, now that I’d finally gone through the long anticipated Ang’dora. I’m finally more like him.

  Neither Mom nor Rina answered me, but they exchanged meaningful looks. Impatient with their silence, I headed to the door.

  “No!” They both cried, but not aloud. They were in my head…or I was in theirs.

  I turned around.

  “What?” I asked.

  Neither answered. But their faces said it all. Something was wrong.

  “What’s going on?” I demanded. I dimly remembered those bits of conversation, but none made sense.

  And then the voices raged in my head all at once.

  “He’s going to kill her,” Mom thought.

  “She is strong enough. She can handle it.” Rina’s thought.

  “I can’t hold him much longer! I need reinforcements now.” Owen.

  “Kill the little bitch.” A frightening, deep-throated growl. “No mercy. Just kill her.”

  The feeling, whose ever it was, came so strong it filled my head until I thought my brain would explode. No images appeared except an angry swirl of reds and deep oranges, pulsing and growing until the mass pressed against my skull. I threw my arms over my head as if they could stop the onslaught.

  “Go away! Make it stop!” I shrieked.

  “Alexis!” Rina said sharply, grabbing my attention. My head snapped up and my arms fell to my side. “Focus on my voice and nothing else. That’s it—focus on me, on my words.”

  I looked her in the eyes and listened specifically to her voice. The others’ thoughts dimmed in my head, just background noise now. The colors faded away and the pressure ebbed back.

  She spoke slowly and softly, like a hypnotist. “There you go. Just remain focused on me. Now, imagine a black wall in your head and the only sound on this side of the wall is my voice. Yes?”

  I nodded. I closed my eyes and imagined pulling a wall up in my head, dividing that black space or cloud, separating her voice from the others. The jumble in the background went completely away.

  “Now, can you hear me?” Rina thought.

  Yes.

  “Anyone else?”

  No. I opened my eyes.

  “Good. You are doing beautifully. You are very powerful.” She smiled, then she said aloud, “Sophia, think about something you want Alexis to hear.”

  Mom nodded.

  “Now push my voice behind the wall and focus on your mother’s thoughts,” Rina directed.

  I tried, but the wall fell.

  “He’s going to break loose! I can’t hold him!” Owen’s thoughts roared.

  “Kill. Her. Kill! Her!” Images of crimson blood against grayness flashed in my mind.

  “Who wants to kill somebody?” I cried aloud, frightened and offended by the thought. “Who else is here? I can’t tell!”

  “Alexis! You must focus,” Rina ordered.

  “How can I focus with that? It’s horrible!”

  “That is why you must focus. You have a very powerful and rare gift, but you need to learn to control it. The world is full of horrible and you will not be able to handle your power otherwise. Trust me.”

  I took some deep breaths to calm myself, then I focused on putting up the wall again.

  “Do you have a wall?” Rina asked.

  I nodded.

  “Now, concentrate on your mother’s voice. You know her voice very well. Listen only for it. Do not try to move the wall or try to take a piece of it out. It must always remain there intact. Just concentrate on the voice you want.”

  I envisioned the cloud again. It enshrouded Rina, but the wall blocked off everything else. I imagined the cloud reaching out to include Mom.

  “You can do this,” Mom’s voice reverberated in my head. I nodded.

  “Can you still hear me?” Rina asked. I nodded again. “That is good if you want to hear us both, but you need to focus on just one. Block me out.”

  I tried pulling the cloud away from Rina.

  “Rina is right. You are amazingly powerful. I can feel it above my own.” Mom kept on with the pep rally as Rina’s voice died away.

  I tried the opposite and I could hear Rina again and not Mom. Rina must have sensed me.

  “Now tune out everyone and listen only to yourself,” she instructed.

  I focused on shrinking the cloud until it became nothing in my mind, nothing but my own thoughts. But my thoughts still worried about the other voices and the wall started to crumble. I concentrated on holding it there, beads of sweat popping out on my forehead from the intense focus. The wall finally held. I relaxed my mind slowly and the wall remained.

  “Control will take much practice,” Rina said aloud. “Just hold the wall up and the rest will come in time.”

  I mentally assigned one part of my brain to hold up the wall and tested the rest to wander. I thought about Tristan. The wall remained—no one’s thoughts came through—even with the swelling of love that felt nearly overwhelming. It felt strange to be able to hold one part of my brain there on its own. The capacity of my mind felt larger and I could use more parts of it at once. I continued thinking about Tristan, kept the wall up and used a different part of my mind to think of Dorian. Wow! This is incredible! I kept those three thoughts running and tried communicating with Rina.

  Rina, I think I can do this!

  She smiled. She heard me. And Tristan’s and Dorian’s faces held, as did the wall.

  “I knew you would be good,” she thought.

  I suddenly realized how tense my muscles were, as if I physically held the wall in place. I relaxed one muscle group at a time, working my way down from my neck to my feet. The wall held.

  “So who’s here?” I asked aloud. “Who is that terrible person or…thing? I don’t sense evil. Why would anyone here want to kill someone?”

  Mom and Rina exchanged glances again.

  “You do not sense evil?” Rina asked.

  “No. Should I?”

  “That is interesting,” she said. “That is good.”

  Mom shot her a pointed look. “Don’t you sense something?” she asked Rina.

  “It does not matter what you and I sense, Sophia. Alexis will be more highly tuned to it than us. She has a connection that we do not. We need to rely on her in this situation.”

  At the same time as that conversation, I thought about the voices, trying to identify that horrible growl. I’d heard Rina, Mom and Owen in my head. But not Tristan. I still smelled his mouthwatering scent, so I knew he was in the house. Is he sleeping? Or…

  “Oh, no!” I cried. “What’s wrong with Tristan?”

  “Honey,” Mom said, “we have a serious situation we’re going to have to deal with as soon as you open that door.”

  “What’s going on? Was that him?” I started for the door, already knowing the answer.

  “Alexis, wait!” Mom barked. I stopped with my hand on the knob and turned to look at her.

  “He needs me, Mom. He needs my help.” I opened the door and the growl—what had sounded like a train—became a terrifying roar.

  “Alexis, you can’t just go out there!” Mom cried. “He wants to kill you!”

  Chapter 21

  “That’s ridiculous, Mother!” I started down the hallway and she grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around. The roar quieted slightly to a loud rumble while footsteps hurried back and forth in the kitchen. “He loves me. He just needs my help.”

  “That is not your Tristan, Alexis. That is Daemoni. They got to him, honey, and all he’s wanted since we returned is to kill you. Owen can hardly hold him back.”

  I pulled away from her grip and continued down the hallway. “He is my Tristan. I don’t feel Daemoni. And I was with him for two days. I think I would know. Owen knows, too. He spent the day with us yesterday. You even saw him last night.”

  “And he wasn’t doing so well,” Mom reminded me.

  We’d come into the kitch
en. Owen paced frantically, shaking his head.

  He spun at me. “He’s snapped, Alexis. Something’s made him completely lose it!”

  One part of my brain heard him, but the other part focused on the scene.

  “Holy hell!” My hand flew to my mouth.

  He didn’t look like my Tristan. His back pressed against the front of the refrigerator, and he struggled forcefully, the fridge moving back and forth as if tied to him, I assumed by magic. His muscles bulged and strained against his clothes. He growled at me, his lips peeled back from his teeth like an animal. And his eyes. There were no whites, no green or gold. Just fire against blackness.

  “Why do you have him tied up like an animal?” I cried, tears of anger and compassion burning my eyes.

  “Because he’s a beast!” Mom said. “Stay away from him!”

  “How did this happen? Did I do this to him? Is it because he took all that evil energy from me last night?”

  “We are not sure,” Rina said. “Last night probably did not help matters, but I believe the Daemoni planted dark magic in him. Something to respond to you only. I think the energy change in you has set it off. Your Amadis power won, Alexis. You overcame the Daemoni force and when it left you…”

  “He took it again, didn’t he?” I asked.

  Rina’s dark expression answered my question. “Not like he did last night, no. I believe it found him, as a…how do you say...an already open vessel. And now Tristan is losing.”

  As Rina spoke, I wondered if Tristan was in a place like my meadow, fighting himself for his soul. Although my life had been far from perfect, I’d always been surrounded by love and goodness. Overcoming the evil temptations came relatively easily to me. But Tristan had known only evil for hundreds of years. And now he’d been separated from the Amadis, not receiving that regular dose of good power for so long. He’d been unstable when he came back and last night could have only made it worse. But I knew he wanted to be good. If he were in that strange meadow, part of him would still be fighting. The part that needed me.