Withholding Secrets

by Diana Fisher

  The noise came again, only to instigate a surge of panic and fear to up rise in my stomach and cause my heart to take a flying leap into my throat and beat as hard as it possibly could without imploding. For as much as my knees refused to lock and load for me to investigate, I had to force them to obey in order to find out what that noise was.

  Leaving the lights off, I made my way through the living room without making a sound, staying as close to the wall as I could. It could be Jordan getting something to eat, seeing as he was always hungry lately, or Sky could have come down to use the bathroom. But, for what I could see in the darkness, there wasn’t anyone loitering in the kitchen and the bathroom light wasn’t on.

  If there was someone in the house, I could get down to Jordan’s room and get him up to guard the staircase as I went up to Sky’s room. Quietly, I took each step to the basement carefully, assuring no boards would creak under my weight. Arriving to the bottom, I could see through the doorway at the flattened comforter. He wasn’t there.

  Jordan went downstairs after dinner because he was so beat after the game. I watched him retreat to his bedroom, but he was gone now. Keeping my back to the wall, I went to the staircase, each step causing the muscles in my chest to tighten as much as they could. Jordan was gone, and if Sky was gone also, I wouldn’t know what to do. It was midnight and my kids ran away. Why would they run away? They both told me that they were happy and I was all they ever wanted. They both were happy, weren’t they?

  My heart stopped as I heard the floor creaking upstairs. A breath came out that I hadn’t realized I was holding. Sky was still up in her room. She was home, but where in the hell was Jordan?

  Just as I made it half way up the steps, the front door handle jiggled, seizing every spot in my body. My feet were glued to the floor and my knees were weakening with each movement of that damn handle. Jordan had a key, but this wasn’t someone trying to use a key to get in. Someone was trying to break in by jimmying the lock.

  Thankful to be dressed in my sweatpants and sweatshirt, I pushed my legs to get me upstairs to get to Sky. Reaching into the right pocket of my sweatpants, my heart sank into my stomach, though it kept its sporadic beating, just hard enough to send my dinner into an assault movement. My phone was on the kitchen counter where I always left it for the kids to call someone if they wanted to.

  Someone was trying to get in the house, Jordan was missing, and my phone was on the counter and I couldn’t get to it. I had to get Sky out of the house. Even if I did have my phone, how could I call the police and tell them that the boy who was under my care ran away in the middle of the night and someone was breaking into my house? My butt was already under the firing squad, and one wrong move, they would shoot me down.

  The handle went silent for a moment and the footsteps thudded down the steps of the rickety wooden porch. As quiet as I could, I snuck up the steps and rounded the corner, inching my way down the wall. My heart pounded in my ears and my breathing was drowning out any other noises I needed to hear. Beads of sweat were balling up on my forehead, and my stomach was crawling its way up my throat. With the prickliness attacking the back of my neck, my gut was screaming to get Sky and get the hell out of the house. And going through the main floor was not going to be an option with whoever was trying to break in choosing that way to do so.

  Just as I got to Sky’s bedroom door, she stepped out, looking at the front window where the rain was pelting on the glass. Cupping my hand over her mouth and sliding an arm around her waist, I pulled her to me. “It’s me. It’s me. Shhh.”

  Her heart was pounding so hard that it was beating out of her chest and I could feel it slamming against me. I didn’t mean to scare her, but I couldn’t have her make any noise. Her hands wrapped around my arm, holding onto me, her fingertips digging into my arm.

  Taking her to the window at the back of the upstairs, I carefully slid it open as quietly as I could. Waving her over, I helped her out as the back door’s handle jiggled. The door slowly creaking open, and sloppy, dragging of boots told me that it was absolutely not Jordan at all.

  Looking over Sky being soaked in the heavier rain, my chest collapsed on my heart. All she had on was her tank top and her boy shorts underwear, and we didn’t have time to grab anything else. We needed to get her the hell out of the house. Slipping out behind her, I palmed the cold glass as the rain seeped down the back of my neck. Of all the nights to rain, this had to be the night.

  I got the window down and pointed to the edge of the little roof. “We need to go now. He’s in the house.”

  “Where’s Jordan?” Her hand wrapped around my arm as she held on to me as tight as she could, her body trembling and the water was beginning to run off her saturated tank top.

  “I don’t know. He’s not home.” I gritted my teeth and the words nipped at her, though I didn’t mean to bite the anger at her. It wasn’t her fault her brother decided to sneak out. And whoever was in the house probably saw him leave the house and that was why the intruder came in.

  Taking hold of her hand tightly, I laid down and motioned for her to come close. Getting her to safety was the only thing I could think of doing right now. Then, I would have to find out where the hell Jordan was. “Crawl over to me, feet first, and when you get to the edge, hold on to my hands tightly. I’m going to lift you down.”

  “I can’t, Keri. I’m scared.” The whimpers were beginning to come through, and I couldn’t risk her bellowing out cries right now.

  “I got you, Sky. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” I waited, and she finally did what I said, easing her over the ledge, my hands slickening with the rain coming down even heavier.

  She went over the edge and I scooted more and more until she slipped away. I pointed over to the bushes in the back and she started for them. Turning around, I inched myself over the edge and my hands slipped against the river that was building on the old and tattered shingles, sending me straight down to the muddy ground, and hard. The pain shot through the arm that braced my fall, but it didn’t feel like it was broken. More like a warmth that was pooling into my bicep so far. Wasting no time, I picked myself up to my feet and followed her into the thick brush.

  The hammering in my chest grew violent, knocking out all the air from my lungs, and I couldn’t breathe. Clenching in my stomach was threatening to shove my dinner out, but I managed to hold it back for now. My poor little girl was standing there in her boy shorts and a tank top that was showing off her adolescent goods, and I had to do something about that. Pulling the sweatshirt over my head, I handed it to her and she quickly started to put it on. I had a tank top on, but at least it wouldn’t show off anything but my curves and my discounted plain white bra. Besides, if someone did try something with me, I could send her for help while I fought like hell.

  “Put that on now.” I looked over my shoulder, checking to see if I could see any movement, but there wasn’t anything. I had to get Sky in a safe place. And I just prayed that Jordan stayed wherever he was until I could get help. But where could I take Sky, and where would she be safe? The only ones that I had trusted with her were Ben and Kane. Ben lived out on a farm where there was no way we could get there tonight, and Kane…

  Kane was probably at the club. That was where I heard that he spent his weekends. If he wasn’t there, I would just have to find someone who would call him or Ben to come and get us. Calling the police with Jordan missing would only assure I would be constantly watched and the kids could get removed from my care.

  Hooking my fingers in the waist of my bottoms, I slipped them down, kicked off my shoes, and stepped out of them. Passing them over, I watched her fumble around while trying not to cry. Her fear was so thick that she was shaking worse than anything, managing to knot up the saturated pants more than getting them on.

  Checking over the back yard again, there wasn’t any sign of Jordan, nor another intruder. But, I needed to get to Jordan before he went into the house.

  “Keri, I’m sca
red.” Sky grabbed my hand, squeezing it hard. Her dark eyes were focusing on me; her body right tight to me.

  “I’m right here, Sky.” Checking her over, I swallowed hard. Running around in my tank and panties wasn’t something I ever thought I would have to do, but I couldn’t let her run around half naked in the middle of the night. “We are going to go through the back, and I need you to stay right by me. If I tell you to hide, you hide. Don’t worry about me.”

  “No, Keri. Don’t leave me. Please, don’t.” Her fingers pressing into my chilled, clammy skin, the small edges of her nails were digging through my barrier and cutting straight to my arm bone.

  “If something does happen, I need you to go straight down the road, follow it to Center Street, and go to the club called The Edge. You go in there and tell them that you need to talk to Coach Kane. They will find him for you.”

  “No. Please.” She covered her mouth with her hand.

  “If I tell you to run, that is where you run straight to. Do you understand me?” I poked my head out of the bushes a little, checking the back yard for any signs of Jordan. There wasn’t any, but the intruder was still in the house. The shadow passed by the kitchen window again, bringing the nausea up my throat.

  Turning around, I pointed to the backside of the bushes. Following her, I stuck close, my hand on her the whole time, directing her where to go. We made it across the back yard and through the neighbor’s miniature lawn and we were out of yards. Reaching the town’s fenced in lot, I found a weakened spot in the chain-link and lifted it up enough for her to crawl through.

  Once she was through, I slid down into the sandy muck and began to work my way under, but the weakened section snapped apart, stabbing its way right into my upper thigh and the searing hot pain shot into my left thigh where a sticky, thick crimson syrup was oozing from.

  Tears scorched my eyes as I tried to tug a little to free my leg, but the fencing wasn’t giving. The trembling hands grabbed my arm, and the color in Sky’s face was fading fast as her eyes were focused on the blood. Hearing a car, I clenched my jaw tightly as I just pulled, causing the jagged end to slice through my skin all the way to my knee before letting go. Blood oozed down my leg and the pain was piercing. I needed to throw up. I needed to just…

  The ground was shifting and weaving and … it was fading … sideways…

  “Keri, please don’t leave me. Please don’t.” Soft sobbing dug into my heart and pulled me from the fuzziness that was trying to invade my mind. “Come on. I can’t do this without you.”

  Grabbing her hand, I lifted myself off the ground, the sandy muck slithering into places I didn’t want known, but a shower would just have to come after I had Sky safe and found out where the hell Jordan was.

  Limping over to the shadows, I held her tight to the old building as a car drove by. Once that patron rounded the corner to the highway, I urged her on, the sharp pain shooting down my leg. Taking her around the building, we made it past a couple more until I saw the lights from the downtown main street. Getting down to the corner by the old gas station, I pulled her off into the bushes where I staggered over to the smaller tree to brace myself. The sickness was swirling around in my stomach, and the pain was shoving it up in heaps. Hot tears were swelling in my eyes, knowing I would have to send her on to find Kane by herself, but could I let her go on her own?

  My stomach muscles resisted my control and my dinner forced its way through my esophagus, burning the tender tissues on its way out. Sky’s hand rested on my back. As the warmth of her filled through my soaked and muddy tank, her other hand was trying to gather my snarly hair for me.

  Wiping my mouth with my filthy hand, I released the storm of tears. “We need to get to the club and get to Kane. I can’t risk having Jordan coming home.”

  “What about Mr. Bradford’s?”

  “He’s too far out and we will never make it in time.” Taking her hand, I wiped my mouth again and checked for any signs of life. Nothing. My heart picked up speed as I pulled her behind me, tugging her along the way, urging the pain in my leg to intensify. My bare feet were padding the cold, wet concrete, but we finally made it to the neon lights and the packed parking lot. Kane had to be there. I needed him to be there.

  “You stay right by me and keep your head down.” The agonizing pain tried to force me back into the fuzzy, twisty, and turning world, but I shook it off and tugged the teenager to follow. With our luck, the bouncer was involved in a few people trying to battle in the parking lot and I caught a fistful of sweatshirt, shoving the petite body through the doorway.

  Slipping inside, I pulled Sky tight to me as I shoved through the crowd. Hearing some remarks and catcalls, the adrenaline rushed through me, surging through my blood as the pain subsided for the time being. One kid was missing and the other was in the sights of wandering eyes and grabby hands.

  Ignoring the feelers, I wedged my way through another thick crowd and spotted the dance floor with no sign of the larger man who had the black head of hair and those emerald eyes. When I turned around, there he was hunched at the counter, a drink in front of him and the barely clothed women practically drooling all over him. Instead of taking his pick of the litter, he shook his head and picked up his drink. The irritation and the anger was spread across his face as one of the girls in tight leather tried to rub up on him. He swung his body around in that high-backed wooden stool, tipped his head back, letting the amber liquid slide down his throat, and the emerald eyes shot across the room to me, opening wide enough to part the sea of people.

  As we shoved through the tightening crowd, some guy reached out and grabbed for my chest. Kane turned so fast, punching the guy straight in the face sending him flying backward. I felt Sky’s hand slipping from mine and I cursed loudly. Kane grabbed the front of her sweatshirt, hauling her over his shoulder before anyone could grab at her. His hand came down on my arm, pulling me in front of him as he shoved us through the crowd to the back where there was a door, a black door that matched the rest of the walls.

  “What the hell are you doing here, Keri?” His voice barely blasted over the heavy pounding of the bass in the upbeat song.

  “Oh, I don’t know, Kane. I thought that I would bring my daughter to the nightclub dressed in my underwear and a tank top for the night. Thought we could have a mother-daughter moment. What the hell do you think?” I snapped hard as he unlocked the door and shoved it open.

  His hand came down on my back, shoving me into the darkness of some kind of room. When he flipped the switch on the wall, my heart slammed hard. He closed and locked the door behind us and led us through the small hall to the second door. Going straight to the box on the wall, he punched in a code and slammed the door shut. Flipping that light on, I glanced around at the beautiful modernish apartment. Black leather couches were in a little sunken living room where there was a large, flat screen television hanging on the wall and a beautiful, but not too spacious kitchen that had a bar that separated it from the living room.

  “Someone broke into the house, and I had to get her out.” Returning my look to him, I needed to ignore the fact we were standing in a room that would take me twenty years to furnish, and focus on finding Jordan before the kid stumbled into a house where an intruder was.

  “Where’s Jordan?” Putting Sky down, he ran a hand over his face as he cursed loudly.

  “I don’t know, but I need you to watch her while I go back and—”

  His eyes opened wide as his jaw tightened hard. His large bear claw curled around my arm, bringing the burn to the surface and reminding me of falling off the roof. “You need to call the cops.”

  Tears filled my eyes. Involving the cops would get the kids taken away from me for sure. And I was not going to lose them. I just had to get back to the house and catch Jordan, and it would be easier than trying to keep Sky with me. “I can’t. And tell them what? My son snuck out of the house before I could catch him. Oh, and there is someone who broke into the house who is probably still in
side. Kane, I need you to watch her just until—”

  “I’ll go. I will go, and you better keep your ass right here until I get back. I swear, Keri. You walk out that door and the alarm will go straight to the police station.” He pointed down a dimly lit hall that was just to the right of the large screen on the wall. “There’s a shower and towels and everything in there. I have some clothes in the bedroom. You two—” His eyes went down to my leg, making him curse even louder. “What the hell?!”

  “Go find my son, Kane! He can’t go into that house with that intruder there!” I grabbed hold of the sweatshirt and pulled Sky tight to me as the tears ran down her face.

  “You keep your ass right here. I mean it, Keri.” He went back to the box, typed in a code, and shot out the door as fast as he could.

  “Keri! Jordan abandoned us! How could he do that to us, too?! He left us just like my dad did!” She cried as hard as she could while holding on to me, her fingers gripping my flimsy shirt, trying to hang on me as tight as she could. Tears burst from my eyes from seeing her hurting that bad. If Kane hadn’t locked us in the building, I would go find Jordan myself. The kids were my responsibility, and I failed big time tonight. “I hate him, Keri! I hate him!”

  “He will be back, Sky. He will be. Kane will find him.” Straightening up, I pulled her back and cupped her cheeks, looking as deep into those innocent filled doe eyes. “Kane will bring him back here.”

  “He ran away from us! He didn’t even tell me or anything! He ran out, and he’s not coming back! Keri, he’s not coming back.” She collapsed into my arms, and I held onto her as I slid down the wall, letting my tears go. Was Jordan that unhappy with us? How come I couldn’t see that he was so unhappy that he would actually run away?

  “He will be back, Sky. He would never desert us.” I rubbed her back through the soaked sweatshirt. Closing my eyes, the thoughts of Jordan going back into the house, surprising the intruder, flashed into my mind. I needed to be back at the house waiting for Jordan to show up, if he was going to show up. As soon as the intruder got what they wanted, they would be gone and we could be back in the house. I was the one who urged us to actually leave, and do what? Go to Kane, who wanted to call the cops. These kids deserved so much better than me. Tonight, I made the biggest mistake of them all.