Private Sins (Three Rivers Series: Book 1)

by Barrett, Brenda

  “Don’t you dare say we need a Luke and a John,” Kelly smiled.

  “I was thinking it.” Theo kissed her again. This time on her lips. “I wish I could spend the night here with both of you.”

  Kelly touched his hand tenderly. “They’ll be kicking me out tomorrow.”

  “Where's Erica?” Theo asked curiously. “I didn’t see her in the waiting area.”

  “She is gone to get some of my stuff. When she came by my water broke. She came right on time.”

  Theo brushed her hair back from her forehead and kissed her again. “I was right to call her then. Guess who dropped me here?”

  “Who?” Kelly said, touching the baby's fingers.

  “Chris,” Theo said, looking into the baby’s eyes. “As a matter of fact he is in the waiting area waiting to see you.”

  Kelly tried hard not to stiffen, but her body betrayed her.

  Theo looked up from the baby and frowned. “I know you might not want visitors now, but he dropped me and he seemed as if he wanted to see you. Just accommodate him a little. I will come back and kick him to the curb after two minutes, okay?”

  “O…okay,” Kelly stammered. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and Mark was picking up on her tension.

  “I'll be back soon.” Theo reluctantly dropped a kiss on her head, handed her the baby and headed out.

  Kelly looked down at her baby son again, trying to discern if he had any glaring features that were uniquely Chris'. He was extremely light; that could be explained away by genetics. Even Erica was light skinned. His eyes were going to be a problem though. What if they were hazel, like Chris'? She was looking down at her baby and wishing that his eyes would stay green or darken to a nice brown.

  “He's beautiful,” Chris said above her head. She didn’t hear him come in and she jumped guiltily.

  He sat heavily—like a drunken man—in the chair beside the bed. “Congratulations on a safe delivery.”

  “Thank you,” Kelly whispered. He was a green polo shirt, and the green highlights in his eyes made them look almost as green as her son’s. What an unfortunate coincidence she thought, panicking. She wrapped her son tighter in the blanket he was in and tried to shield him from Chris.

  Chris got up and started pacing. He glanced at her hands busily covering the baby and then ran his hand through his hair. “Can I hold him?” he asked her savagely.

  “No,” Kelly squeaked. “Why do you want to hold my baby? Why did you carry Theo anyway? Are you crazy?”

  “If I am crazy you drove me to it,” Chris hissed. The baby started to cry and Kelly rocked him.

  “Just let me hold him Kelly,” Chris said almost desperately. “A man deserves to meet his child for the first time without histrionics.”

  “He's not yours,” Kelly said panicking, “why did you assume he is yours?”

  Chris sighed and knelt by the bedside staring at the red-faced baby, whose arms were flailing and his little belly moving rapidly as he gulped in for air.

  “He looks like mine,” he whispered.

  “No,” Kelly grunted. “It’s over, Chris. Please, let’s not talk about this again.”

  Chris stood up and headed for the door. “It will never be over with him in the world, Kelly. We have to resolve this someway, somehow. I am not going to just stand aside and let another man raise him.”

  “Just go,” Kelly said tiredly. “This baby is mine and Theo's. Any fantasy that you may have of it being otherwise is just that—a fantasy.”

  Chris stood at the door with his back to her as he debated in his head if he should pursue the topic any further. Then with a vicious pull he opened the door and then looked behind him. Kelly was cooing to the baby. She looked so beautiful to him.

  That should be his family, not Theo's.

  He closed the door softly and leaned on it. He felt weak and dejected. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Theo in the corridor heading toward him. Chris pulled himself from the door blindly and went to the restrooms around the corner that he had seen earlier. He shut himself in one of the stalls and cried. Big, choking sobs. He didn’t care who heard. His heart was breaking into pieces.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “I am on a month’s vacation,” Theo announced to Kelly, who was sitting on the patio, lounging on one of the chairs. Matthew was on one side of her and Thealyn on the other. The two were busy touching their little brother and giggling.

  “Look Daddy,” Thea said in wonder. “His finger is smaller than my doll's.”

  Theo crouched by his family and grinned. “That’s how your fingers were small when Mommy first took you home. I sat and stared at you for hours, with a little fear in the back of my mind that I had taken on the biggest responsibility in the world. That fear is still there. One would think that after three children it would go away, but it never does.” He scooped up the baby from off Kelly's belly and kissed him on the forehead.

  “Hey, little one. You are a week old today. I love you.”

  Kelly looked at Theo as he stared at the baby. The love he felt for the newest addition to the family was palpable from where she sat. He was a man who loved his children and who wore his emotions for them on his sleeve. He hadn’t yet talked about the fact that Mark's eyes were green, or that they were lighter than his and Kelly’s. He just loved his child, and for that, a heavy burden had been lifted from Kelly’s heart.

  She had watched him closely as he interacted with the baby, and she found not even a thread of doubt about the baby in his actions. He was rocking the baby now and cooing to him. Clearly, her worries and misgivings during her pregnancy were for naught.

  If only Chris would stop hounding her about the child then she would be fine. She would be home free in this duplicity of hers.

  She didn’t intend to keep this secret from her husband for long. She would give it another sixty or so years, and one day when she and Theo were in their nineties—and hopefully he would be half deaf—she would confess all to him. But for now she was content to let the matter rest.

  “So how am I going to spend this vacation, Mrs. Palmer?” Theo turned around still cuddling the baby, a brow raised.

  “By changing diapers and getting up for midnight feedings,” Kelly replied, smiling.

  “Mmmm,” Theo smiled. “I am also getting some quality time with you, since these two will be back in school in two weeks.”

  “Do we have to go to school?” Thea asked, frowning. “Why can't we just stay here and get to know the new baby?”

  “Yes, Mommy. Can we stay here with you?” Matthew looked at her, his big brown eyes pleading. “We’ll be good.”

  Kelly laughed and kissed him on the forehead. “In two weeks you will be changing your tune when all your friends start going back to school. You’ll be begging me to send you. Besides, your brother is too young for you to play with just now—you'd be bored.”

  Theo watched the scene with a smile. Kelly looked so beautiful sitting there in her flowing maxi dress—a slight fullness in her face was the only indication that she had recently given birth. She had her curly hair piled high on her head and little tendrils of hair escaped the loose bun. She looked happy. Happier than she had been in months, and he instantly felt more relaxed.

  He had wondered about her mood for the last couple of months, but having the baby had changed her somehow. He looked down at the baby and smiled. He was getting bigger everyday. He almost looked like a full-term baby. His length and weight were spot-on. It was a miracle to him, this child of theirs. He was unusual in coloring and features from the rest of the children, and Theo was amazed once again at how complex genetics could be.

  “Guys, your Aunty Erica is coming in an hour to pick you up and take you to Dolphin Cove. He handed the baby to Kelly. I'd better start helping them get ready, and then today I am all yours.”

  Kelly laughed. “Promises, promises.”

  He dropped a kiss on her lips and heralded his jumping children into the house. “Daddy, can I wear my pink dr
ess with the sparkly things on it?” Thea asked.

  Theo looked back at Kelly and rolled his eyes.

  Kelly laughed. “Thea, you are going to play with dolphins. Jeans shorts and t-shirt are fine. Don’t give your daddy any trouble.”

  “Okay,” Thea mumbled, heading into the house.

  *****

  Looking like a forlorn figure, Chris was sitting in his parents’ living room aimlessly changing channels on the television.

  His mother sat across from him and studied him intently. He was deeply depressed, she suspected, and he didn’t want to talk about it. Still, it broke her heart to see her child in so much pain, and after discussing it with her husband they had agreed that they needed to find out what was wrong with him.

  He was hiding something from them, she could feel it. Even though he was now a full-grown 34-year-old man, that didn’t make him any less a baby in her eyes, and when her baby hurts, she hurts too. Chris was their only son—the last of their four children—and she had the tendency to want to smother him with affection. Of course, it was something he resented and avoided at all cost, but that never stopped her from trying.

  Her husband, Harlan, was sitting in the armchair pretending to be looking at a file. The file was the bait to get Chris into the house and away from the work environment because he had been avoiding them there, too.

  “So, Chris,” Harlan started, clearing his throat, “there is a little discrepancy with the Villa Rose project.”

  Chris glanced at his father wearily. He couldn’t bear to go to Villa Rose anymore. He had foisted off the project to his deputy after the break-up with Kelly. They had so many memories there. If he closed his eyes, he could see her scampering into the lobby like a little girl, with a pencil behind her ear and a cheeky grin across her face, or leaning over a diagram with intense concentration on her face. His heart felt sore, and he just couldn’t take on anything else related to the place.

  Chris let out a sigh. The memories were going to kill him. With some effort he focused on his father. “Ask Garwin about that, Pa. I told him to tie up the loose ends, not that there were too many. The interior decorator,” he paused and then coughed, “finished everything. Garwin inspected the job and declared it to be excellently done.”

  “I know, I know,” Harlan said, nodding his head. “I have always known that Kelly was a fine decorator. I just thought it odd that since you were so involved with the place you decided to give up the project just like that. Garwin is hiring a manager to run the place, and you haven't made an input. You usually insist on being included in making such decisions.”

  Chris bowed his head listlessly and cupped his cheek. “I need a vacation. I think I am going to migrate…do something else. Maybe spend some time overseas with Grandma.”

  Tears came to Hyacinth’s eyes when she saw her son's listlessness. “What’s wrong, honey? Please tell me. Your dad and I are concerned.”

  Chris looked up a little dazed. “I had an affair with Kelly Palmer.”

  Hyacinth and Harlan looked at each other. “She's the pastor's wife,” Hyacinth whispered, still shocked.

  Chris sighed. “I think that baby she had is mine.” He leaned back in his chair and twiddled his thumb. “It's killing me…eating me up inside.”

  He looked at his stunned parents. “I know I shouldn’t have had an affair with her. I know it is wrong and unprincipled and against God’s law. My only justification is that I have always thought about it. You know, being with Kelly, being married to her. Every time I saw her at church was torture. I coveted her for ten years, you know. She should have been mine. She would have been mine if Theo hadn’t shown up. Now she has my baby, and they are living together. All happy with my baby.”

  Hyacinth was so stunned she didn’t know where to look. Her husband's mouth was wide open, and she was sure that he was unaware of it. She was a grandmother again. Her heart leapt at the thought. Then the mess that her son had found himself in seeped into her brain.

  “Ah…” Harlan swallowed, “what a pickle.” He put away the file he held in his hand and started pacing back and forth.

  Chris looked tired and washed-out, his hazel eyes dim. “If I tell Theo Kelly will never forgive me,” he sighed. “There would be no chance with her either. She refuses to break up with him. I am giving up my post as elder, and I am going to stop going to that church. I am not even sure I am fit to go to any church, the state that I am in now.”

  “No, no, no,” Hyacinth said hastily. “You were brought up in the church. You should still go. But you are right; you should probably go to another one, possibly outside of the Three Rivers circuit.

  “So the husband has no clue?” Harlan asked curiously.

  “I don’t think so,” Chris shrugged. “I sometimes wish he knew, and all this could come out in the open. I never wanted to sneak around anyway. I just wanted Kelly. And now I want my baby.”

  “He's not legally yours,” Harlan said, looking at Chris somberly. “When a married woman gives birth the baby is legally her husband’s, until otherwise stated. Are you sure he is yours, Chris?”

  “Yes,” Chris said, nodding. “He has my eyes, and though she had everyone running around believing he is premature I know he wasn’t. I asked her doctor.”

  Hyacinth sighed. “Her doctor should have never disclosed such information. Tell me who it is, so that I don’t use him.”

  “Whose side are you on, Mom?” Chris asked curiously.

  “The right side.” Hyacinth got up, her slim body was encased in a summery dress which highlighted her still shapely figure. “Unfortunately, there is no right side in all of this.”

  Chris sighed and hung his head. She sat beside him and hugged him, “I love you Chris, and always will. I'd love you even if you were a murderer, but I don’t condone your behavior.”

  “I know,” Chris mumbled.

  “I always knew you were foolishly obsessed with Kelly. Why do you think I invited all of those lovely single ladies to dinner?”

  “Didn’t work,” Chris said, smiling slightly at his mother.

  “I know,” she replied, patting his knee. “I don’t want you to leave the country, but I can't say it is a bad idea, maybe you should go away for a while.”

  “We have a business to run,” Harlan said, his hazel eyes flashing. “For the love of God, man, why couldn’t you find somebody else to fool around with? You had to find the pastor's wife! And not only that, get her pregnant! I am not changing church because of this. We have been going there long before the Palmers, and I am not leaving!”

  Hyacinth gasped. “Lola Thomas is my choir director. What am I going to do when she talks about her grandchild, what am I going to do?”

  “Ignore the talk,” Harlan said, glaring at his wife. “And you, Chris, you have to let this go. Let Kelly go! Move on with your life. Obviously, she doesn’t want her life upset or she would have left her husband. You are wasting your time and energy pining after her. If you weren’t so fixated on this one woman your life wouldn’t be such a mess. So what if couple years ago she chose somebody else over you? Get over it and move on.”

  He rubbed his cheek and looked hard at his son. “Listen, boy. I don’t think you should give up your life here because of this situation. You just built your house over at Bluffs Head. Time has a tendency to take care of these things.”

  “But I am a father! I want to tell the whole world about it. I want to claim my son.” Chris looked at his father pleadingly.

  “No,” Harlan growled. “You want to make her choose once more between you and Theo. That’s what this is about. Your feud with Theo ended eleven years ago. Why oh why did you go and resurrect it? You of all people should have been able to resist Kelly. She is married! Marriage is supposed to be sacred. My God, man!”

  Harlan ran his hands over his face. A slash of red enclosed his ears. “You preach about it at church. You are supposed to be an example.”

  He shook his head and sat down. He was steaming, and
though he saw Chris' hurt expression, he could not stop. “You say your son belongs to another man, and you want to claim him. Are you crazy? If you create a stink about this, you will drag the family name through the mud. You will drag the business name through the mud, and you will make our church a laughing stock!”

  He turned to his wife. “That goes for you, too. Stay far away from Kelly.”

  After his outburst, the living room was silent. Harlan looked in the ceiling, a vein pulsing at the side of his head. Hyacinth was fanning herself with one of the files and Chris had hung his head.

  Harlan finally said in the quietness, “Think about it.” His voice was hoarse. He looked at Chris. “Pray about it and avoid seeing Kelly altogether. Are you hearing me?”

  Chris nodded. “It’s tough. I never really got over Kelly in the first place, and now…”

  “Now you'll just give up your eldership post,” Harlan said. “For the love of God, man, shake this obsession. Do whatever it is you have to do. Take a mini vacation to Canada, visit other churches. When you get back, give other women a chance, but you have to stay far away from Kelly. Are you hearing me, Chris?”

  Chris looked at his father his eyes watery, “I…”

  Harlan stared fiercely at his son.

  “Yes, I hear you,” was the defeated reply.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Kelly was getting ready for date night. Her husband had taken a serious one hundred-and-eighty-degree turn and was being more attentive. She felt as she did at the beginning of their marriage—loved and cherished. He was delegating more to his junior pastors and spending more time with his family.

  Mark was three months old and big. His green eyes had flecks of gold in them and looked more hazel than green, just like Chris', and yet Theo had not commented. He loved his baby son, sometimes getting up in the middle of the night to rock him to sleep so that Kelly could get some rest.

  It felt as if they were now doing better since she had the baby than they had ever been in the past five years; Kelly wished with all her heart that she had not had that affair.