CHAPTER ELEVEN
The sermon was a very well researched one based on covetousness. Usually when her husband preached Kelly would be very alert and listened carefully to what he said. Theo outlined the meaning of covetousness, which is an extreme desire to acquire or possess, wanting what others had and not being content with your own.
He used a projector for his sermons to emphasize his points. He frequently glanced at Kelly, who had now schooled her features into a parody of contentment. She wished she could see her own expression to see if she was properly imitating contentment, because she was as far from content as anyone could be.
Her mind was in the mother's room. Neither Camille nor Valda had returned and she was getting anxious as each second ticked by. She couldn’t take it any longer and she got up to go see what was keeping her mother-in-law.
She entered the room at the front of the church—to the right of the foyer—and pushed the door.
Valda was seated in one of the padded chairs and was watching the sermon intently and Camille was holding her baby.
Kelly felt the building spin a little and she slumped onto a nearby chair, dazed. The mother's room was empty but for the three adults.
“Oh there you are,” Valda said, smiling. “I could not get him to calm down,” she pointed to the baby. “So Camille here volunteered. It seems to have worked.”
Kelly nodded trying hard not to look directly on Camille. “You can go back into church now Valda, I'll stay with him.”
“Okay, if you are sure,” Valda said. “You don’t look so well.”
“I am fine,” Kelly went over to Camille, “just a bad headache coming on.”
“Then maybe you should just let me baby-sit a while then,” Camille said gazing at Kelly intently.
“Okay, I'll sit here but you go on in, Valda.”
Valda smiled and left the mother's room.
The only sounds that could be heard were the cooing of the baby and the sermon coming from the television.
Kelly avoided Camille's eyes and at first Camille did not say a word.
“How are you getting away with this?” Camille calmly asked after placing the now sleeping baby in the bassinet that Kelly had placed in the mother's room in anticipation of going there for solitude.
Kelly looked at Camille and shrugged, “what on earth are you talking about?”
Camille half-smiled, “your husband must be blind.”
Kelly stiffened. “Please stop, this is none of your business.”
“My brother, my business. My nephew, my business.”
“What's the matter with you people,” Kelly got up, “first your mother, now you. That baby belongs to me and my husband. I should not have to be defending that.”
“No you shouldn’t,” Camille said quietly, “but you and Chris had that little affair and now here you are defending yourself to me. You know we discussed this last Sunday and he never brought up the fact that he got you pregnant. But Marie, Fiona and I took one look at the baby and knew we were related to him.”
“Leave it alone,” Kelly sat back down and closed her eyes, “I am handling this the best way I know how.”
“No, you are not. You have my brother hiding away from this church that he has served for years. You have taken his only child and given it to another man. You are selfish.”
Kelly widened her eyes, her lips trembling. “No you are the one that’s selfish, you and your mother and your whole family. I love my husband and my children and being selfish—as you call it—is what works for us right now.”
Kelly's voice became suffused with tears. “I don’t need you and your family judging me. If I could turn back the clock, I would. I wouldn’t have worked with your brother, have had an affair with him and cheated on my husband. I am so sorry; I wish that I could just absent myself from the whole situation—like Chris—and move on with my life, okay. But I can't and I am tired of being judged and dissected and found wanting.”
She stood up, grabbed the handle of the bassinet and stormed out of the mother's room. She sat in her car for minutes as she watched her sleeping baby and looked out at the view from the parking lot. So today was the end of the world for Kelly Palmer. Too many people were privy to her secret and no doubt somebody would tell her husband. The imaginary axe that was swinging for her head was on its way down. She slumped with her head on the steering wheel, feeling wretched and sick.
*****
“I am so sorry about your headache,” Valda was looking at her with sympathy.
“I knew something was wrong with you when you walked into church today,” Theo kissed her on the forehead. “I will make some chamomile tea. You get some rest, okay honey.”
“Fine,” Kelly nodded, heading for the stairs. The master bedroom was just to the left but she felt as if she was seeing two doors. She really had gotten a monstrous headache from all that thinking and stress.
She kicked off her heels and slumped onto the bed the moment she reached the room. She would have driven home from church but her hands had been trembling and they had driven the one car, so she had to wait. Thankfully, Theo had not taken as long to leave church as he always did, coming to find her as soon as he could after the service.
When he found her in the car with beads of sweat on her upper lip and her head in her hands he had concluded that she was suffering from one of her infrequent headaches. Unfortunately, her headaches usually occurred when she was undergoing undue stress and Theo knew that.
She looked up when Theo entered the room with her tea. He drew the curtains, leaving the room in semi-darkness and whispered, “hush my love, you will soon be better.”
He gave her the tea and gently massaged her feet while she drank it. “You have such perfectly arched feet,” he said soothingly.
“Thanks,” Kelly murmured, the effect of the tea and the massage calming her nerves, somewhat.
“You looked extremely beautiful today,” Theo whispered, “but I knew that something was wrong. You looked uncomfortable, like you were on the verge of crying. I wanted to come down from the platform and give you a hug.”
He took the empty cup from Kelly and cuddled her to his chest, “I hate when you are in pain Kelly—wish I could suffer through your headache instead.”
He waited for her breathing to become even before he moved; laying her head gently against the pillow and staring down at her. Her eyelashes were short and thick like a stumpy curtain; he had always found them fascinating, as he did anything that belonged to Kelly.
Her nose was short and straight and her lips were full and red. It was the first thing he had noticed about her. It had taken him several dates to ask her if the shade was real or if it was a particular shade of lipstick. He smiled now as he looked at her intently. She had laughed and said they are real. He didn’t believed her so he had kissed them to settle the question.
He kissed her lips softly now and sighed. He wasn’t a fool, something was bothering Kelly. Exactly what it was he was clueless about but he was tired of waiting around to find out. He would tackle what was causing her such mental anguish and get to the bottom of it, maybe he could help her with whatever it was.
He got up and quietly closed the door. The kids were in the living room watching a Bible story on DVD, and his mother was in the kitchen heating up food.
“How is she doing?” Valda glanced at him.
“Sleeping,” Theo grabbed his head and braced his feet apart. “Can I help?”
“No,” Valda said, “I have everything under control, the tofu and beans, barbecued gluten is heating up in the oven and the rice is in the microwave.”
“Where's the baby?” Theo asked suddenly concerned.
“Sleeping,” Valda said then paused, “Theo I am not one to pry or anything but…I mean…this baby looks nothing like us.”
Theo shook his head, “not that again Mom.”
Valda looked at him intently, “This baby resembles that girl I saw today in the mother's room, Camille Donah
ue. You should have seen the possessive way she was looking at the baby.”
Theo sat down on a stool beside the counter. “I agree that he is lighter than both Kelly and myself, but families are like that, there are several shades of color in our gene pool, several races and all of that mixed up.”
“Who in her family has hazel eyes, with green flecks?” Valda asked curiously, “Just name one person.”
Theo scratched his head. “Nobody that I know of, but I don’t know all of her family.”
His mother made a harrumph sound. “Maybe you should investigate this some more. Maybe the baby was switched at the hospital. I heard of a case the other day where the hospital messed up and gave two families the wrong babies.”
“There was no mix up,” Theo said frowning, “that’s our baby.”
“Or maybe it’s not.” Valda bent down to check on the protein in the oven and missed the look of fear that crossed her son's face.
.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Are you sure that you want to drive all the way to Kingston with the baby?” Theo was asking Kelly as he sipped his tea. He was sitting on the counter stool going through is Monday morning routine of scrolling through all the emails he had gotten over the weekend.
Kelly was now standing in the same spot that his mother had stood two days ago when she had the nerve to suggest that this last baby was not his. It was riding in the back of his mind, the insidious thoughts hanging on to the fringes of his consciousness, day and night, but he managed to brush them away with a Herculean effort.
“I am sure.” Kelly took out a loaf of whole wheat bread from the fridge. “Your mother is staying overnight in Montego Bay with Thea and Matthew. You are going to the community leaders convention—you can't carry a baby there and my mother and sister are going to some soap making seminar or the other—those two are as thick as thieves.”
Theo nodded. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait until tomorrow, we can make it a family trip.”
“Nope,” Kelly grinned, “I start working at the Peterson's tomorrow; they are redecorating their son’s room, it’s just a three day job. I am going to just get my supplies in Kingston. I already called it in. When I get back, I'll call my people, get them moving and then I will be done.”
“Keep in touch,” Theo said hopping off the stool, “but not when you are driving.”
Kelly saluted, “Aye aye captain.”
Theo kissed her, grabbed his jacket and left the house.
On her way to Kingston, Kelly popped her favorite CD into the car radio and started singing along with the songs; the baby cooed in the car seat as she navigated the twists and turns.
She turned the radio higher when her favorite song Wake Up Everybody by Teddy Pendergrass started to play.
She sang it so loud that the baby started to cry and she slowed the car down a bit and turned her music down. “Sorry baby,” she said looking at him, “I am just letting off steam.”
She crawled to a stop at the Flat Bridge stoplight. She gazed down into the blue green depths of the river. The color was a richer version of her multicolored blouse and she grinned. “No matter how men try, they cannot capture the beautiful colors of nature exactly, can they Mark?”
The baby cooed and clapped his hands.
“There ya go,” She looked back at him, “sorry for scaring you earlier. I certainly hope it wasn’t my voice that scared you?”
She laughed when he yawned.
******
She entered the city of Kingston with its hustle and bustle and traffic jams at a quarter to ten. Her business took her approximately two hours and she packed up the car with her purchases.
“Lunch time for me,” she said to the baby, who had already gotten a bottle, “then we are going to head back home. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
She decided to go to Wendy's in New Kingston. Even though Kingston was slightly cooler than normal because it was December, she was looking forward to sitting in an air-conditioned restaurant and eating a salad or a baked potato, and a yummy dessert.
When she drove up to the entrance of the restaurant; it took her a while to get the baby out of the car and all the paraphernalia that she would need to go into the restaurant.
“Traveling with a baby takes you twice the time,” she said out loud to the baby, who was blowing bubbles at her.
“It should be,” Chris said behind her, she almost dropped the baby in fright.
“Chris,” she spun around, “what on earth!”
Chris grinned, “I was heading to the bank across the street when I saw you get out of the vehicle. I couldn’t believe it, when I saw that you were alone. I nearly ran into traffic.”
“I came to get supplies for a project I'm starting tomorrow,” she eyed him up and down, “you look good.”
“You look better,” he said, softly, “Can I have lunch with you two?”
Kelly sighed, “Why not?”
She locked the car and they headed into the restaurant together.
“I'll order for you,” Chris said.
“Baked potatoes and garden salad,” Kelly told him absently as she placed the baby in the bassinet.
Chris paused, looking down at the baby. “He has gotten so big since the last time I saw him.”
Kelly looked up at Chris and then back down at the baby; he eventually moved away and she breathed a sigh of relief. Exactly why she was having lunch with Chris was not clear, she just felt as if they had so many loose ends to tie-up and talking about it would make it easier.
When Chris eventually came back with their orders she was scrolling through her PDA and checking that she had everything on her list.
“So how've you been these days?” he bit into a burger and looked at her closely.
“Fine,” she shrugged, “edgy. How've you been?”
“I miss you,” he said wiping his lips, “wish we were together. At nights when I can't turn off my brain I feel a sense of loss so acute it hurts.” He brushed back his curly hair which had gotten long over the months. “I am trying to deal with it, it’s painful.”
Kelly nodded. “So who was that girl Theo and I saw you with at New Beginnings?”
“Estella,” he half smiled, “were you jealous?”
Kelly frowned, “no—yes.”
He grinned.
The baby started to cry as she picked at her salad and without asking Chris picked him up.
The weight of him almost brought tears to his eyes as he gazed at his son face to face. The baby stopped mid-wail and gazed at Chris curiously.
Chris laughed. “Hey little man.”
“Your baby is so cute,” a young woman stopped at the table looking from Chris to the baby, “he looks just like you.”
“Thanks,” Chris said cuddling the baby and then looked at Kelly his brows raised. When the young lady had moved out of hearing distance he stared hungrily at Kelly.
“Stop it,” Kelly said fiercely.
“No,” Chris said just as fiercely.
Kelly pushed away her plate and covered it. “It's over Chris!”
“I know,” Chris said earnestly, “but I just want to know this one thing, if by some quirk of fate, your marriage breaks up, do I have a chance?”
Kelly shuddered. “My marriage is fine, stop wishing for its demise.”
He shrugged. “It is fine for now. I just want you to know that if anything happens I am an option. My mother told me that she accosted you in the parking lot at church and my sister told me you cussed her off.”
Kelly smirked. “Why can't they just leave me alone?”
Chris gently laid the baby back in the bassinet. “Don’t worry, I called them off. I had strong words with them—told them that I was just as guilty as you in this whole mess and that they should give you time. I sometimes feel like marching up to your house and snatching him you know.”
Kelly looked frightened. “You wouldn’t do that!”
“I would,” Chris nodded, “but I kn
ow it would hurt you and your other kids and Theo. These days I am just turning off my emotions; I'm trying to deal with the whole situation. The other night I had a long heartfelt talk with God and I am slowly healing. Seeing you now will set back my recovery a bit. You are like drugs to me. I used to come to church every week to get a hit you know. When you worked for me, I took a hit everyday,” he sighed. “I couldn’t help feeding my addiction and I enjoyed every last hit.”
Kelly grimaced. “I am sorry for screwing up your life.”
“I screwed up my own life,” Chris said passionately. “I saw you eleven years ago and I thought there she is, my wife. It was as if my heart recognized its mate. I was blindsided when you told me that you were seeing Theo and that you never thought that we were serious. I went all out for you. I was serious then, Kelly, so serious you wouldn’t understand. I bought a piece of land on Bluffs Head, started making plans to build our dream home and I got left in the dust for Theo. I almost went crazy.”
He glanced over at the baby. “I was so broken that it took me all of seven years to heal. Nobody else came close,” he smiled sadly. “It wasn’t my ego that got battered when you chose Theo,” he held onto her fingers, “it was a genuine loss. So when I got the chance to be with you, whether it was an illicit affair or not, I took it. Forsaking my vows of celibacy, forgetting that I had a responsibility as a church leader, I took the opportunity to be with you. I was actually glad that Theo was so busy, ecstatic that there were cracks in your marriage.” He lowered his voice, even though the restaurant was not crowded. “I wanted you completely but I never really had you, did I?”
Kelly dragged her hands away feeling them tingle. She was attracted to Chris, there was no denying that, but she loved Theo and suddenly a wave of intense regret swept over her. She had been quite stupid to have had an affair.
The affair was based on a crush. As she had learned, to her detriment, physical attraction was powerful enough to blindside someone for a while but true abiding love, the love that came with knowing somebody over time; living with them; sharing experiences with them, that was more abiding. That was what she had for Theo.
Private Sins (Three Rivers Series: Book 1) Page 7