by Woods, Karen
Fallon seem to float down the aisle. Lesley was walking behind her and she was having trouble keeping up, she hated wearing heels and she was finding it hard to walk in them. The music played softly as Fallon made her way to the altar. Heart pounding inside her ribcage her legs seemed to stop. Everyone was looking at her and John looked anxious. Lesley came to her side. “Come on Fallon, you’re nearly there now.” Fallon smiled softly at the wedding guests and carried on walking, her face was grey. John looked relieved and said something to his best man stood at the side of him. She reached the altar and John gripped her hand tightly, she was shaking from head to toe. “Take deep breaths, you’ll be fine,” he whispered. Fallon followed his instructions and the colour seemed to come back into her face. Turning her head to the side of her she clocked her mother’s face; she could see in her eyes that she wasn’t happy. As she looked down at her mother’s hands she could see her fingers were crossed. Beryl’s eyes were closed and her mouth was moving but no sound was coming out. John whispered in her ear. “You look beautiful, I love you so much.”
Fallon turned her head towards him, taking a few seconds she studied his face. “I love you too,” she replied.
Maria sneaked inside the church and hid away out of sight. She was about to go home but something inside her told her that she had to see with her own two eyes that Fallon got married. She’s seen it on the TV so many times that the bride changed her mind at the last minute, she was hoping today that would be the same. The priest began the service, his voice was calm and he spoke about the vows that the couple would be making. Fallon was licking her lips, and constantly playing with her hands. Lesley sat not far from her and she was on the edge of her seat chewing on her fingernails.
The exchanging of vows began, everyone seemed relieved, especially Lesley. The priest cleared his throat and asked if anyone had any reason why the couple should not be married. You could have heard a pin drop. Maria was up and down in her seat, she was on the verge of shouting out, but her words seemed trapped inside her mouth. The priest continued. Maria turned her head; it was the man from outside. He was trying his best to stand up. Watching him closely she could see him pulling at his coat at the front. Bob could barely walk. Maria turned her head back to the action at the front of the church. Bob was carrying a box; he was gripping hold of it with a firm grip as if his life depended on it. Slowly, he made his way to the altar. Maria was stood up now and looked anxious, what the hell was this man doing?
Bob shouted out in a loud voice and all heads turned to face him. Lesley saw where the voice had come from and quickly made her way towards him. Bob was louder than ever and his words were filled with sorrow.
“John, don’t marry her. She doesn’t love you, she loves Dalton.”
The people in the church were hanging onto his every word and you could see them whispering to each other. Maria stood up to get a better view, her prayers had been answered.
“Please please, don’t let her marry him,” she mumbled.
Lesley was pulling at Bob’s arm, but he was like a man of steel, he couldn’t be moved.
“Look John, here’s all the letters he’s written to her.”
Fallon faced her father and snarled. “Dad, just go home will you. Why are you doing this? I’m getting married.”
Bob regained his breath, and shot his eyes to Beryl at the front of the church. He pointed at his wife; spit was hanging from the corner of his mouth.
“Don’t end up like me John; her mother did the same thing to me. She loved someone else and I was second best. Do you want to be like that too?”
John walked to Bob’s side and took the box.
“Go on son, read them. There’s too much love between them two for her to ever love you.”
Bob melted to the floor, he was crying and he dragged his hands through his hair. The people inside the church were eager for more and moved their bodies so they could see everything. Maria was close and she wanted to see how this drama ended. Bob let out a scream from the pit of his stomach, it seemed like years of frustration was being released. “You never loved me did you Beryl, it was always him, fucking Malcolm Smith. I never stood a chance. I tried you know, every day I tried to fill his boots but you never gave me the chance. Don’t let our Fallon make the same mistake as you did. Tell her to go where her heart is.”
Beryl sat in a trance, tears streamed down her face. I’m sure if she could have put a sentence together at that moment she would have stood up and told him he was right. Fallon rubbed at her arms. John was sat down in the aisle reading some of the letters. His best man was trying to pull the box from his grip, but he was fighting a losing battle. Bob stood to his feet with help from Lesley. “I want my Beryl, I want my Beryl,” he cried. Bob stank of stale beer; his breath was sickening as he shouted into Lesley’s face.
John lifted his head and looked at his wife to be. She was his world, he loved her with all his heart, but Bob was right, he would always be second best. He knew that deep down inside. Slowly he stood up and walked towards Fallon who was talking to Bob.
“You still love him don’t you?”
Fallon swallowed hard, her face dropped. “No John, I love you, take no notice of my Dad, he’s pissed as usual.”
John’s eyes were drawn to Beryl. Was this the way Fallon would be in years to come, always regretting the choices she’d made in life? Pulling Fallon by her arm he spoke in a firm voice.
“He still loves you doesn’t he? Why didn’t you tell me about the letters?”
Maria couldn’t hold her tongue any longer and stepped out from the shadows. “He will always love her, he never stopped.”
“Maria!” Fallon gasped. “What the hell are you doing here?”
All eyes were on her now and her face was bright red. “I had to see it with my own two eyes, Dalton’s leaving tomorrow, and I had to make sure that you didn’t love him anymore.”
Fallon’s legs melted. Lesley was in Maria’s face and she was giving it to her big time. “How dare you come here, you tart. Get back in the hole you’ve just climbed out from and fuck off.”
The priest looked mortified and headed towards them all. “Please, this is a House of God. No swearing!”
Lesley apologised and made the sign of the cross across her body. “Sorry,” she whispered.
John dragged Fallon by the arm and led her to a room at the side of him. Slamming the door shut he confronted her. “I need to know the truth Fallon, do you love me, or is it still him?”
She fell to the floor, her knees came up to her chest and she was rocking about slowly. Her eyes focused on the statue of the Holy Virgin Mary, the woman looked so peaceful. John’s voice was loud as he repeated himself, he pressed for an answer. “I love you John, I love you, please believe me,” she was desperate.
John sat by her side and held her hand. Taking the silken bag from her, he smiled. “I bet your cigs are in there aren’t they?” Fallon nodded. John opened the bag slowly and his face dropped. Digging his hand inside it he pulled out a silver chain. Holding it in his hands he read the name on the heart. His face creased as if he’s been stabbed in the heart.
“Why Fallon? Why?”
She looked blank, she didn’t know the answer. When she’d put the necklace in the bag she just thought she could have it as her something old, but deep down inside her heart she knew the real reason, she still loved Dalton. John stood to his feet, bending down slowly he pecked her on the cheek with a single kiss. Before he left he turned around and spoke in a desperate voice.
“Fallon, go and find him. I love you that much that I’m letting you go. I’ve always known I was second best, and like your dad said, Dalton has always had your heart. I was a fool to ever think you could have loved me the way you loved him. You’re free Fallon, go and be happy. I won’t stand in your way.” The door slammed and she was alone. She tried to get up but it was as if an invisible force was holding her down.
John walked back inside the church and all eyes w
ere on him waiting to see what was happening. Maria stood at the side of the church and her heart was beating at a rapid pace. Lesley ran to John. “What’s going on, where’s Fallon?” Taking a deep breath he spoke to her. “Lesley, you know in your heart she still loves Dalton, help her to find happiness with him.”
Maria nearly collapsed; her palms were hot and clammy. Turning her body she sprinted out of the church as if her life depended on it. The wedding guests started to leave. This was a day to remember. Bob was still sat with his wife, his head was on her lap and he was sobbing. Lesley was turning on the spot; she didn’t know what to do for the best. Bending down, she yanked her shoes from her feet and went to find Fallon. Turning the brass knob on the door she walked inside the room. Fallon was stood at the window and her shoulders were shaking up and down.
Lesley ran to her side. “Are you alright love. Fucking hell what a mess this lot is, what happened?”
Fallon turned around; her mascara was smeared on her cheeks. “Has he gone? Has he left me?”
Lesley nodded her head slowly. “Yeah he’s gone, what’s happened?”
Fallon held her head back and stared at the ceiling. “Take me home Lesley, please take me home.”
Lesley took over now and made sure all the guests were informed that the wedding had been cancelled. She got Fallon back home in record time and took on the role of cleaning the mess up. The phone was ringing constantly. Bob and Beryl were sat in the living room and it was strange but they seemed at peace with one another.
Fallon sat in her bedroom. Playing with the silver necklace in her hand she felt calm. Lesley came to join her. “Right, everything is sorted now. Everyone knows that the wedding’s been cancelled.”
Fallon blew a laboured breath. “Fuck me, what a day. It could only happen to me?”
Lesley chuckled and tried to make light of the situation. “I know love, it was like watching Coronation Street. Fuck me I love a drama, but this was too much, look at the state of me, I’m a nervous wreck.”
Fallon raised a smile, Lesley was right, her hair was all over the place and her mascara had run all down her eyes. “What’s my Mam said,” Fallon asked in a low voice.
“Not a lot. I think she’s happy you didn’t go through with it; you can see it in her face. You’re Dad’s like a changed man; he looks like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, the life wrecking fucker.”
Fallon chuckled, “He’d cause trouble in an empty house wouldn’t he?”
Lesley placed her arm around her best friend. “So, what’s next? Are you going looking for Dalton or what? You do still love him don’t you?” Fallon bit hard onto her bottom lip, was it that obvious that Dalton was still in her heart, she thought she’d hid it well over the years. “I don’t know what I’m doing Lesley, I’m all over the place at the moment. I don’t know what I want.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks and the moment they shared was heartbreaking. Bob came into the room, his head was held low and his face looked filled with regrets. “Fallon,” he stuttered. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve ruined your day, but I just couldn’t let you go through with it. One day you will thank me for it.”
Fallon jumped up and ran at her father. “Who the hell are you to tell me what I need? Since when have you become a relationship Guru? For one day, I asked you to keep sober, but could you do it?” she paused and paced the room. “Could you fuck Dad, you’re selfish, and you only think about yourself. Have you ever thought why my mother wanted Malcolm Smith?” she pulled her father to the full-length mirror. “That’s why Dad, take a long good look, who’d want to be with that?”
Lesley stepped in. Fallon was going too far and she could see by Bob’s face that he was at breaking point. “Turn it in ay, what’s done is done. If you still love John go and get him back, but if you don’t, you’re Dad’s done you a favour. For years you’ve always been the same Fallon. It’s make your mind up time.”
“You can fuck off too!” Fallon screeched “I don’t need anyone in my life telling me what I need. Go on, fuck off the pair of you!” Fallon pushed them both out of the room. Lesley was going to retaliate, but Bob held her back. Fallon grabbed a large sports bag from under her bed. Diving in her wardrobe she started to throw all her clothes inside it. She needed to get away, far, far, away. Her head felt like it was going to explode. Grabbing her coat off the banister she opened the front door. Standing for a few seconds she was debating her next move. Slamming the door behind her she hooked the bag over her shoulder and made off at speed.
Lesley darted up from her chair and ran into the hallway. “Fallon,” she screamed at the top of her voice. The sound of her feet stomping up the stairs could be heard. Lesley ran into the bedroom and clocked all the drawers were open; she quickly opened the pine wardrobe and knew her friend had taken all her belongings from it. Screaming at the top of her voice she sprinted down the stairs.
“Bob, Beryl, she’s gone. She’s took all her clothes,” Lesley burst out crying and dragged frantically at her hair. “Where has she gone, please God, please let her be alright.”
Fallon made her way to Piccadilly train station. She had enough money in her account to get her away from Manchester. Night time was falling and the wind was picking up. She kept her head low and used all the side streets; she didn’t want to be spotted. She wanted to be invisible and to just fade away and never be seen again.
Standing in the train station her eyes focused on the different destinations. There were so many and she couldn’t make her mind up where to go. Sitting down on a wooden bench she pulled her coat tighter around her body. Her eyes were heavy. Fallon sat staring into space; did she have the courage to leave Manchester for good? Sat with her bag near her feet she snuggled into her coat. Pulling her hood down over her face she sat watching the goings on around her.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Dalton checked his watch; it was nearly time to leave. Maria was sat crying in the front room. She was on her hands and knees begging her son to stay. “Please son, it’s early days yet, don’t give up on her. I bet her head’s all over the place at the moment, just give her time.”
Standing to his feet he ran his fingers through his hair. “Mam, she’s not coming. I can’t go on waiting for her. If she really loved me, she would have been here by now. No mother, I’m leaving, my mind is made up.” Dalton shot his eyes to the newspaper hanging over the arm of the chair. The sound of him ruffling through the pages could be heard. His face looked serious as he checked the date on it. “Mam is it the tenth of May today?” She looked confused and went to her calendar in the kitchen.
“Yeah, it is. Why?”
Dalton seemed to have a rush of energy. His body inflated and the corners of his mouth began to rise. Maria walked back into the front room, seeing his face she held one hand on her hip. “So, come on then, why did you want to know the date?”
Dalton ran to her side and lifted her body up in the air. “It’s not over until the fat lady sings, mother,” he paced the front room. Maria walked behind him.
“What’s not over Dalton, for fucks sake, will you tell me what’s going on?”
Dalton sat back in his chair, his head was held in his hands and he was blowing his breath. Maria was eager to find out what he was excited about.
“Me and Fallon made a pact Mam. We both said that if we both still loved each other when we were twenty five, no matter where we were in life we would meet up. Today’s that day mother.”
Her jaw swung low. This was like something out of a film. “Mam, she might turn up at our old school.”
Bending her knees his mum stroked his leg. “What is it your Dad always used to say son,” she kept her voice low and tears filled her eyes. “Love conquers all.”
Dalton checked the time, it was midday. Three hours left before his fate would be decided. Gripping his mother’s hand he spoke in a worried voice. “Will you iron my white shirt please? Fucking hell, I’m shitting myself now, but ay, he who dares wins and all that.”
Maria watched him go upstairs with haste. Taking a few minutes to settle herself she shook her head. Walking to the cabinet at the side of her she pulled the drawer open. There it was, the photograph of the love of her life, Brian. Her fingers looked old and wrinkled as they stroked the picture inside the brass frame. She stood looking at it for some time and her face went from sad to happy. Collecting her son’s clothes from the clean washing she stood at the ironing board, I’m sure she was singing. Dalton walked into the room with a fluffy white bath towel hung around his waist. His body was still wet and droplets of water were running down the front of his chest. Maria passed him his clothes and left the room. Minutes later she left the house. Dalton went back upstairs and lay on the bed with his hands looped above his head. In his hands was the silver chain. Blowing his hot breath onto it he polished the silver heart, it was sparkling now. Closing his eyes slowly he looked at peace, his mouth was moving but you couldn’t hear what he was saying.
*
Fallon woke up in the train station, she’d fallen asleep. Hearing the voice over the intercom she realised it was nearly one o’clock in the afternoon. Scratching her head she met the eyes of an older woman who was sat next to her. The woman who was in her mid-forties seemed concerned about Fallon and offered to get her a cup of tea from the cafe not far from them, she must have thought she was a homeless person.
Fallon declined and felt embarrassed. “I’m not a tramp you know. I just fell asleep here last night.”
The lady smiled and looked relieved. “Well let me buy you a coffee anyway. My train doesn’t leave for another hour so I could do with the company.”
Fallon smiled. “Go on then, my mouths as rough as a bear’s arse,” she giggled.
“So where are you off to?” the woman asked as she passed Fallon her drink. Taking a few seconds she replied. “I don’t know yet, but as long as I get out of Manchester I don’t care.”