St Grizzle's School for Girls, Geeks and Tag-along Zombies

by Karen McCombie

  “But anyway, you two go right ahead and enjoy your concert tour,” Lulu switches to saying, since the snooty-looking couple on the steps aren’t smiling at her jokey comment about Blossom. “Don’t worry about your little miss – we’ll take good care of her.”

  “Oh, but we won’t worry,” says the woman as the man nods in agreement. “Our daughter is very intelligent and we’ve brought her up to be totally independent. She’ll be absolutely fine, we have no doubt.”

  Me, Swan and Zed swap our puzzled frowns for quizzical glances.

  “Another student?” Zed says in a whisper.

  “Guess so,” Swan replies. “Hey, you’re not going to be the new girl any more, Dani Dexter!”

  I blink back at Swan and grin. The school is expanding. With a new girl, that brings the total of students here at St Grizzle’s to a mighty twenty-one!

  “Well, we’d better go or we’ll miss our flight,” says the man matter-of-factly. “It leaves in… Oh, my! There’s a goat on the roof of our car!”

  “Ah, it’s only Twinkle. Toot your horn when you get in and she’ll jump off,” Lulu tells the couple brightly as they edge warily towards the chunky black car parked in the driveway.

  Twinkle looks quite settled on the roof, nibbling delicately at the aerial.

  “Bye!” Lulu calls out and waves, then turns round with a beaming Cheshire-cat grin on her face. “Oh, hello, you lot!”

  “What’s going on, Mum?” asks Zed.

  Lulu looks so happy I wonder if she might break out into a tap dance of joy.

  No wonder – the previous version of St Grizelda’s had a ton of students but as soon as Lulu changed the style of the place from old-fashioned-and-stiff to mega-fun-and-cool, nearly all the parents flipped out and moved their girls to other schools.

  If a pupil is COMING instead of GOING it’s got to be a very pleasant surprise for her.

  “Follow me – I’ve got someone I want you to meet!” says Lulu as she leads the way towards her office, along the corridor and past the dining room. (I peek in and see Super-Grrrl standing with her arms crossed, moody lip stuck out, as Granny Viv pulls a funny face and tries to cheer her up.)

  “So that’s what your Very Important Meeting was about today? Why didn’t you tell us?” Swan asks her mum, looking extremely huffy with Lulu for keeping the arrival of the new girl a secret.

  “Darling, I didn’t even know we’d end up with another student today!” Lulu grins over her shoulder. “I thought Mr and Mrs Featherton-Snipe were just coming for a chat and to check out the school. I had no idea they’d liked the look of the new brochure so much that they planned to drop off their daughter with us, just like that! But here is the lovely –” Lulu hurries into her office, arms wide – “Boudicca!”

  Boo-dick-ah.

  Boo!

  BOO!

  So THAT’s what Toshio had been trying and failing to say just now.

  I can’t blame him for finding the name tricky. I’ve heard the name Boudicca before but that’s cos we did a lesson about her at my old school. We found out she was a fierce British warrior queen from a zillion years ago. If Toshio tried to get me to say the name of some fierce Japanese empress from a zillion years ago, I bet I’d end up with my tongue in a knot.

  But anyway, here is THIS Boudicca.

  And THIS Boudicca is a very small girl who’s completely sunk into one of the two huge, squashy beanbags in Lulu’s office. She has a waterfall of long wavy hair that goes on forever and skinny, knobbly knees.

  She does not look much like a warrior queen. She looks more like a kid who is wondering why…

  a) the head teacher has beanbags instead of proper chairs

  b) there are spray-painted toucans and flamingos on the wall, and…

  c) there’s a big, snoring dog in the OTHER beanbag.

  (The answer to those questions are: Lulu thinks it’s more relaxing; Swan spray-painted them, and Downboy is my dog – he and Granny Viv turned up at St Grizzle’s to check up on me a week or so ago and never left.)

  “Boudicca is eight so she’ll be in Newts Class,” Lulu tells us. “And Boudicca, this is Swan, Zed and Dani, who are the oldest students at St Grizelda’s. They’re in Fungi Class.”

  Boudicca stares at us with large blank grey eyes as we smile and wave hello at her. By her side is a suitcase that’s practically bigger than she is as well as what appears to be a violin case.

  “They’ll keep an eye out for you,” Lulu says cheerfully, trying to break the awkward silence. “Won’t you, guys?”

  “Um, yeah!” I hurriedly say.

  “Uh-huh!” Swan agrees with a shrug of her shoulders.

  “Definitely!” Zed chips in.

  Boudicca stares some more at us and seems to sink deeper into the beanbag like it’s a gloop of quicksand swallowing her up.

  “So… I thought we could have a nice getting-to-know-everyone session in the hall before lunch,” says Lulu, holding a hand out to the new girl to help her escape from her seat. “But how about you three quickly show Boudicca the school while I round everyone up? You can leave the case here for now.”

  “Sure,” I answer as Boudicca begins to walk silently towards us, staring, staring with those big blank eyes.

  You know, she sort of reminds me of someone but I can’t think who.

  “And Boudicca,” Lulu calls after us, “I can promise you that you are going to have SUCH fun here at St Grizelda’s!”

  Boudicca doesn’t smile or respond. She just follows me, Swan and Zed along the corridor, staring straight ahead.

  “I know it’s hard leaving your parents,” I say in my best friendly voice, thinking that this small, knobbly kneed girl with her curtains of hair is probably just frozen with shyness and sadness. “But you’ll settle in soon. I haven’t been here that long and I love it. Cos like Lulu says, it’s a lot of fun at St Grizzle’s.”

  Boudicca looks straight up at me with an expression that’s hard to read – but it doesn’t seem particularly shy or sad.

  Hmm. Something tells me that looking after this strange girl is going to be the OPPOSITE of fun. A bit more like, like…

  “AAAARRRRGGHHH!” Blossom roars from somewhere close by.

  Exactly, I think to myself…

  Ten minutes into our school tour Boudicca has changed completely, and is suddenly friendly and chatty.

  NOT.

  On the ground floor we have pointed out the hall, the classrooms, the kitchen and dining room, plus the lovely big back lawn and the woods beyond, as well as Zed’s own private room near Lulu’s office, which he shares with Twinkle.

  The whole time Boudicca said nothing, even when we walked into Zed’s room and found Twinkle in there with her head in a drawer, eating his favourite Star Wars pants.

  We’re now at the foot of the staircase, about to go up and check out the first-floor dorms.

  “OK, sorry I can’t do this part!” says Zed, and before we can respond he spins round and zooms off across the entrance hall, disappearing down a corridor.

  Here are some facts about Zed – he is…

  • funny and kind and a bit shy

  • very good at juggling

  • great at helping the younger Grizzlers with their homework

  • able to do impressive wheelies

  • always cheerful and only ever gets the TINIEST bit fed up when his wheelchair stops him from doing stuff like wandering through the woods at the back of the school (too many tricksy tree roots) or hanging out upstairs in the dorms with the rest of us (too many tricksy steps and no lift).

  But right now Zed doesn’t seem at all bothered about being stranded on the ground floor and missing out on the chance to be a guide for the rest of Boudicca’s tour. He’s properly relieved – and I don’t blame him. I hadn’t realized how tiring it can be to have a one-sided conversation. Swan’s getting stressed out with the strain of it, too – she’s blowing and POP!ing her bubblegum at hyper-speed.

  Speaking of hyp
er-speed…

  “Come on,” I try to say cheerfully, and hurry up the stairs two at a time. We need to get this awkwardness over with as quickly as possible, before I run out of words or Swan POPS! too fast and ends up with a bubblegum face mask.

  Luckily Swan seems to read my mind and matches me step for step. As for our newbie Newt – she’s right on our heels.

  “So THIS is Conkers’ dorm,” Swan announces, practically galloping to the first room she comes to on the left of the landing.

  She throws open the door, and Boudicca peers around at the big room that belongs to Yas, Klara, Angel and May-Belle. Like all the dorms it’s got a ton of spare beds in it from when St Grizzle’s was awash with pupils. Still, NOT sharing with very many people means the girls of Conkers have plenty of wall space to decorate. All around loom posters of Taylor Swift, unicorns, Bollywood film stars and Goth bands called things like Gloom and Blahhh (the Conkers have VERY different tastes).

  Boudicca says nothing.

  Then we go to the next room.

  “This is Otters’ dorm,” I announce.

  In among the empty beds Boudicca surveys the three that are lined up together with three identical star-patterned duvets and three identical photos of the triplets’ smiley parents on each of their bedside tables.

  Boudicca says nothing.

  “This way to YOUR dorm,” says Swan, zipping to the far end of the corridor in the opposite direction.

  The door she stops at this time is covered with messy, smeared prints of twenty hands that’ve been dipped in different-coloured paint. Above it is a graffit’d sign:

  I glance at Boudicca to see what she makes of it but of course it’s impossible to tell. It’s also impossible to guess what she’s thinking when she sees inside… The Newts’ dorm is the usual disaster with its carpet of dirty socks, old loom bands, twigs, leaves, half-made craft projects, feathers and sweet wrappers.

  “I know it’s pretty messy but to be fair to the Newts no one knew you were coming today,” says Swan. “We’ll get the girls to tidy it up.”

  “And, hey – why don’t you have the bed in the corner?” I add, looking past all the spare beds that are piled HIGH with random bobbins. “No one sleeps in that one!”

  You BET no one sleeps there. The bed I’m pointing to is currently a den of sheets and towels, held together with clothes pegs, with a home-made pirate flag drawn on a bit of cardboard and tied to a skinny long tree branch with raggedy string.

  Boudicca says nothing.

  *Sigh*

  I mean, I know the triplets of Otter class can be a bit silent and weird but they do giggle – a lot – which shows they’re human at least. So far Boudicca seems to have less personality than the statue of St Grizelda, standing serenely on her plinth outside…

  POP! goes yet another pink bubble of gum and Swan nods her head in the direction of the door across the hall.

  “OK, last on the tour is our room – me and Dani’s,” she tells Boudicca, ushering her to follow us.

  Swan is already rattling her key in the door of our dorm. I have a key, too … it’s the only way to stop the Newts from invading and using our place for one of the slightly dangerous games they’ve invented like Top Bunk Trampolining or Hide-and-Seek-and-Everyone-Pile-on-Top-Yelling.

  As Boudicca silently shuffles in I’m expecting a whole lot more nothing even though I have the most amazing giant mural of a T rex on the wall next to my bed, painted for me as a welcome-to-St-Grizzle’s present by Swan. (Well, technically it was more of a welcome-to-St-Grizzle’s-and-sorry-I-wasn’t-very-friendly-at-first present as WELL as being a sorry-I-let-Twinkle-chew-your-toy-T-rex pressie…)

  Sure enough Boudicca just blinks a bit at the mural and turns away as if seeing humongous dinosaurs was the dullest thing EVER.

  Then her grey-eyed stare spots Swan’s flock of colourful birds on the wall around her top bunk. I swear there’re more and more birds there every time I look.

  “I like them.”

  “You what?” says Swan, bending down closer to Boudicca.

  But before Boudicca can repeat her tiny, whispered comment there’s a mad pattering of feet outside in the corridor.

  Blossom LOLLOPS into the room, launches into a spirited twirl on the spot and then stops, suddenly and wobbily, striking what I THINK is supposed to be a superhero pose.

  “Yes? Can we help you?” I ask, glad to see Super-Grrrl is looking a lot less “AAAARRRRGGHHH!” than she was earlier. From the telltale crumbs around her mouth, I suspect Granny Viv has bribed Blossom into cheerfulness with the aid of cupcakes.

  In fact Blossom’s holding a cupcake in one of her hands.

  “Lulu says can you come to the hall NOW cos we’re all there,” says Blossom, relaxing her pose. “And HERE, this is for YOU!”

  Blossom holds out the cupcake to Boudicca, who stares at it as if someone has offered her a worm sandwich. Maybe it’s because it’s technically only HALF a cupcake with the obvious half-moon of a bite mark spoiling the gift a little.

  “No, thank you,” mutters Boudicca in a whispered mouse-squeak, taking a step back in disgust, I suppose, though her face is as blank as usual.

  Blossom gulps, and looks worryingly as if she might cry at the rejection of her gift. She might be part-goblin but she is also part-sweetheart…

  “Maybe Boudicca’s eaten on the way here and isn’t hungry,” I jump in and say quickly. “But I’ll have it!”

  Blossom brightens up immediately and hands me the half-a-cupcake.

  “Look, I decorated it with a pretty LEAF!” she says proudly.

  “Mmm!” I mumble, wishing it was an icing-sugar leaf rather than one from the garden that comes with its own ANT. “I’ll, um, just leave it on my bedside table for later…”

  “Right, come on,” Swan says sharply, “everyone’s waiting for us downstairs.” With that she shoos us all out of the dorm and locks up behind us. As we head for the stairs I spot Boudicca gazing up at the curl of steps that sweep up to the top floor.

  “Miss Amethyst and Mademoiselle Fabienne and my Granny Viv have rooms up there,” I tell her.

  “Yeah, and in the olden days before this was a school that would have been the servants’ quarters,” Swan adds as she catches up with us. “It’s why the rooms up there are smaller and cosier than the rest of the building.”

  “There are PRISON CELLS up there, too!” says Blossom, eyes wide with excitement.

  “I’ve told you before, they’re just old storage cupboards,” Swan says wearily. “Servants would have kept things in there like bedding and towels and candlesticks and—”

  “PRISONERS!” Blossom bursts in gleefully as she hurtles off down the stairs.

  Boudicca doesn’t move.

  She’s still staring up the curl of steps. And now I see what she’s staring at…

  OK, so she wasn’t at ALL interested in a description of the second floor. She’d been staring at Downboy, stretched out across the whole width of a polished wooden stair, snoring gently.

  “Is that another dog?”

  “What? No – it’s the same one you met in Lulu’s room. He just sort of roams around, like Twinkle,” I tell her. “Here, Downboy – come and say hello to Boudicca!”

  At the mention of his name, Downboy wakes up, jumps to his feet and skitters down the stairs to meet us.

  Uh-oh, that was the wrong thing to do – Boudicca backs away as soon as he gets within patting distance.

  “I don’t like dogs. Animals are dirty. They have germs.”

  I look at my darling Downboy and feel a little bit offended. How can anyone not love that dopey, smiley face? And he certainly ISN’T dirty. Not compared to the Newts, anyway…

  “Humans have germs, too. And some germs – like bacteria – can be healthy to have,” says Swan, putting a hand on Boudicca’s back and directing her down the stairs. “You’ll learn stuff like that in science class with Miss Amethyst.”

  I follow behind, still smarting from the dogg
y insult. Downboy stays where he is, happily scratching behind his ear. (I hope he doesn’t have fleas again.)

  “There you are! Come on in and join us!” I hear Lulu call out as we finally approach the hall.

  Oh! Everyone – students AND staff – are sitting in a circle on the floor. Except for Zed, that is, who is in his chair, holding a ball decorated with a smiley blue blobby fish.

  “Come on, everyone, make space for Dani, Swan and Boudicca,” Lulu cheerfully orders.

  The triplets kindly scrunch up, giving us plenty of room. Even so, Blossom leaves as big a gap as she can manage between herself and the new girl. I think she’s still hurt by Boudicca’s reaction to her thoughtful gift.

  “So, we’re going to play a getting-to-knoweach-other game,” says Lulu. “Here’s how it works… when the Finding Dory ball comes your way, you say your name and tell us all something interesting about yourself. Then it’s your turn to roll the ball to someone else. Got it? Zed – will you start us off?”

  Zed nods, looking proud of the responsibility, and says, “I’m Zed Chen-Murphy and I can touch my nose with my tongue.”

  I’m very impressed, especially by how much his eyes cross when he does it. In fact everyone’s very impressed and gives him a round of applause, all except for Boudicca.

  Beaming, Zed seems to forget for a second to roll the ball.

  In that moment I realize that although this exercise is for Boudicca’s benefit, it’s going to be very useful to me, too. The Conkers I’m cool with – I hang out quite a lot with Angel, Klara, Yas and May-Belle.

  But the Newts… I’ve heard all ten of their names around school but I can never tell them apart (except for Blossom) as they usually move about in a very fast, very mud-streaked blur.

  As for the triplets, I only just found out their names at the weekend when I came across Granny Viv sewing nametags in their identical clothes: “Tia”, “Tiane” and “Tineesha”. Swan says the names are so similar that no one ever uses them. Including the triplets.