by LJ Andrews
I kicked at the crack in the sidewalk. My mind was bouncing in all directions between fear, annoyance, and affection for Justin’s support of the black spot on my heart. Gathering his fingers in mine, I could no longer resist the pull to be near him, and kissed his lips hard.
“It means a lot you’d be willing to do that for me,” I began, as I slowly pulled back. “The longer I’m with you, the safer it feels. Maybe someday I’ll be as strong as you were, and face my demons.”
Justin brushed my hair from my forehead, and caressed my cheek with his strong hand. “I’ll be there, I promise.”
I met his eyes with a playful smile, grabbing his wrist and pulling him behind me as I rushed toward the front entrance. Justin brought a thrilling rush of emotions which jumbled inside my heart every time he looked at me with his intense, beautiful eyes. As I pulled the door open, the exuberant emotions running through my blood allowed me to believe nothing could ruin this night.
Until I saw him. My shoulders twitched unnaturally as the handsome stranger with brooding dark eyes stood on the curb. My heart rate doubled, and my shoulders rose and fell in heaving breaths as I met the eyes of the man. He stood ominously, his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. Justin took notice and followed my focused eyes. I pretended not to see the scowl plaster on Justin’s face. I didn’t want to admit the stoic stranger caused Justin the same discomfort as he did me.
Taking a deep breath I stepped forward, readying to command the stranger to leave me alone, but Justin stepped back onto the sidewalk, leaving me near the door.
“Why don’t you get out of here,” he called, his voice strong and intense.
The young man’s face shadowed even more, if it were possible, when Justin addressed him. Seething a look of disdain at Justin for a long, drawn out moment, the stranger calmly turned his gaze back to me.
“Just stay away,” he said, nodding his head in my direction.
His voice was calm and filled me with a strange sense of wonder. He wasn’t threatening, though his company frightened me to the core. And something about the way his dark eyes flashed filled me with a desire to press him to speak again.
“I said get out of here,” Justin growled stepping right next to him.
I shook away the haze of comfort I’d felt from the stranger, nervously watching Justin approach him without hesitation. The young man didn’t flinch as Justin stepped close to his face, hissing something under his breath I couldn’t make out.
His dark eyes struck me again over Justin’s shoulder and I had the odd sense he was trying to tell me something using only his eyes, but I wasn’t grasping the message. Eventually, he leaned in toward Justin, speaking directly at him, and spoke loud enough for me to hear.
“You know the consequences of your actions. The ramifications will affect us all.”
“That’s it, I’m calling the police,” I said, pulling out my cell phone.
Justin rested a gentle hand on the screen. “Don’t bother, Laney. He’s leaving.”
Looking up I saw Justin was right. The stranger stalked away angrily, leaving me with a dark chill tingling along the bony prominences of my spine. A sensation I hadn’t experienced in weeks. His warning would not leave me. His striking eyes had poured in my heart, and somehow, I sensed he truly wanted me to stay away…but from what?
“Do you know that guy?” I prompted.
Justin shook his head furiously. “I’ve never seen him.”
It was all so suspicious. I thought back to his dark eyes and sullen expression in the dark parking lot of El Sobroso weeks earlier. Life had changed drastically since then, and I’d allowed myself to forget about the odd encounter. I shook my head furiously, causing my hair to whip my cheeks.
“Come on, let’s get inside. It’s getting cold,” Justin urged, wrapping a protective arm around my shoulders.
*
Inside the apartment I poured Justin a mug of hot chocolate to shake the evening chill. My mind drifted as I pondered on the words of the stranger. I couldn’t shake the feeling he was warning me, but at the same moment I had suspicions he could be suffering from delusions.
“That guy, he was kind of a mood killer, huh?” Justin broke through my whirling thoughts.
I smirked, joining him on the plush loveseat, sipping the rich, velvety chocolate. “A bit.”
“Well,” Justin said, placing his drink on the floor and stepping toward the T.V. “Maybe we should just relax tonight. What movies do you have?”
I sighed in gratitude, as if Justin had read my mind. My birthday had begun so smoothly, and it was disheartening how the short encounter with the stranger could unravel a day so close to perfect.
“What? You have the movie Clue? I loved this when I was a kid. What do you say?” He said, flashing the case with the faces of the prospective killers and their associated weapons.
“It’s a classic,” I smiled. “I’ll get some popcorn.”
*
Justin stepped off the curb in front of my building. He seemed to breath the air with a deep satisfaction. And the skip in his step made it obvious he was content with our relationship as he bounced onto the sidewalk. Whistling a cheerful tune, he unlocked the chain around his bike frame and pushed off into the road.
I saw it first. I knew what was coming, and I wanted to scream, but no sound came from my mouth as the speeding suburban ran the red light. It was an explosion of squealing, desperate brakes, crushing metal, screams from onlookers, and then silence. Justin’s body rolled for several feet before settling in the intersection. His face coated in fresh blood, and his lifeless eyes staring at the brilliant blue sky above.
I screamed as I shot up from the loveseat. Justin, groaned in his sleep and nestled further into the corner of the small sofa. His strong arm still flopped lazily around my shoulders, and the main menu on the screen flashed blood-smudged playing cards. Mr. Green, from Clue, flipped over on a card, a suspicious look on his face, soon followed by Tim Curry who had played Mr. Body. The DVD menu continued the repetitive cycle, urging whomever controlled the remote to select an option, or turn the player off.
I clutched my chest, trying to slow the hammering of my heart as I flipped the screen off. Justin’s soft breathing brought a sense of relief, but at the same moment, dread.
For years I’d lived in fear it would happen again. I had seen Justin’s death as clear as if I’d been standing next to the road. The smell of burnt rubber from the skidding tires lingered in my apartment and the metallic smell from Justin’s blood still burned my nose. It was going to happen. The same as it had with my father, and teacher. Tears burned my eyes, and a sob choked against my throat.
There was still something I could do; something I’d convinced myself I would never be ready to face. Leaning forward I embraced the surge of confidence, of determination. I would find the dark hole which had haunted me my entire life. There was something more to that dark place, something I had allowed myself to forget. Now, remembering was the only way to stop what was going to happen.
I gently brushed my hand across Justin’s chest, snuggling against his shoulder. I was overwhelmed with the sensation returning to the hole near Shadow Lake would save his life. I wiped a hot tear trailing down my cheek, embracing the raw emotion building within my heart. I would not let someone else die when I could do something to stop it.
Chapter 6
Doctor Stewart peered over his glasses, studying my movements as I paced across the small office.
“What’s changed your mind, Laney?” he asked, scratching his temple with the end of his pen.
Taking a deep breath, I sat stiffly on the edge of the white chair. My knees bounced anxiously, the soles of my flat ballerina style shoes tapping in rapid time.
“It happened again,” I blurted out. “I saw someone die.”
The doctor’s brows lifted in busy arcs above his eyes. “You mean another premonition? When did it happen?”
“Two nights ago, which means I only h
ave four days left.”
Doctor Stewart smiled gently, and it was glaringly obvious he still didn’t believe I’d really peeked into the grim future of people I cared for. He pulled the pad of paper from the space between the cushion and arm rest on his chair, and clicked his pen open.
“Who did you see? Your mom? Tyler?”
I ran my teeth along my bottom lip. My cheeks warmed as I studied the floorboards bashfully. “No, actually it was someone I’ve been seeing.”
Doctor Stewart cleared his throat loudly, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Pardon? Did you say someone you’ve been seeing? Laney, how long has this been going on?”
“Uh, a little over a month now,” I said, folding my hands in my lap. “But it doesn’t really matter. What matters is I saw him die, and two for two people have died. Whether you believe me or not, I have to go back there. I must at least try to make these terrible things go away.”
Holding up his hand, Doctor Stewart placed the pad of paper on his lap. “Laney, it isn’t about whether I believe you really can see people’s deaths. It is about coping, and your quality of life. I am pleased you’ve made the choice to return and face your fear. I am not certain why you are haunted by such graphic images of people dying, but I believe you will find healing and in four days you will see this young man is still a big part of your life. And, I might add, next time a significant event like your finding a boyfriend happens, I’d like to hear about it, understood?”
I smiled and nodded. The encounter with the man in the leather jacket crossed my mind. He’d shown himself twice. He was obviously an erratic person with a twisted interest in me, but as I delved deep inside I had to admit I had never felt he was a danger.
Strange, I thought as Doctor Stewart watched me thoughtfully.
I met his penetrating gaze, and we simply watched one another in pensive silence. It crossed my mind to confess the strange encounters with the man, but something held my tongue each time I tried to speak. By the time the hour lapsed, I was convinced it was an irrelevant point. The brooding stranger had no significant involvement in this new turn of my life.
“Laney, I’m looking forward to our visit in two weeks. I sincerely cannot wait to see the changes in your life. I’m confident it will benefit everyone.”
“Thank you, doctor,” I responded, my voice quiet and soft with worry for Justin.
I was simply returning to the hole in hopes it would save Justin’s life, not to appease Doctor Stewart’s treatment plan. I prayed the doctor was right, that the premonition was simply a trick of the mind, and facing the gaping hole would rid me of the dark nightmares completely.
*
Mom glanced out the sliding glass door leading to the small backyard. A towering elm tree stood in the center like a protective giant guarding the colonial style cottage. The leaves had changed to a deep yellowish-brown and were beginning to stack around the roots.
I sipped my coffee, peering at her over the top of the mug.
“I don’t understand why you want to do this,” she said. “And I certainly don’t understand why Doctor Stewart would suggest such a thing. We’ve spent years as a family working through that terrible day. You’ve made such progress, Lane.”
“Mom, perhaps this is the final step in my progress,” I suggested in a chipper tone.
I’d come to ask my mother where the dark place was. I still had to find it, and my four-year-old image was something just short of a hell on Earth. It wasn’t much to go on. I needed help, or I might wander in the woods for days, but I’d never expected Mom to be so reluctant.
Mom wiped her eyes and swirled the smooth white cream around in her mug. I reached for her hand, feeling my own chin quivering as Mom fought against emotion. “Mom, why is this upsetting you so much?”
She shook her head, not to dismiss the question, but to drown the tears threatening to spill over. “Laney, that night, that horrible night was the worst day of my life. Yes, sometimes I think it was worse than even the day your father died. I don’t say that lightly, because you know how much I love your father. But to know your small, precious child is lost in a cold, dark forest filled with terrifying things to a young girl’s mind; it is something I would never wish upon anyone.
“It’s interesting, I never imagined the fear of that place was so rooted inside me. Now, since you’ve brought it up again, I see how dark that part of our history is inside my heart. I will never forget finding you. You were so cold, and sick. But there was a strange peace in your small face, like someone protected you. The idea of you going back to the place which almost stole you from me, it makes me sick, sweetie.”
I scooted out of my chair and wrapped my arms tightly around her neck. Mom held me close, rubbing her hand along my back, as she’d always done since I was young.
“Mom, I can’t imagine what it was like for you and Dad. But I need to do this.”
My mother sniffed and wiped a trail of black mascara from under her eye. “I could come with you.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t let on why I was really returning. I feared Mom would think I’d gone over the edge. I couldn’t take it if she thought such things. “I will be okay, Mom. I need to do this on my own. But I promise, after I go, I’ll come straight home. We can slip into our sweats, pop some extra buttery popcorn, and watch My Favorite Wife.”
Mom half laughed, half sobbed. I loved when she cupped my face in her small, delicate hands. “I’ll hold you to it, and…you have to sleep over.”
“Deal,” I smiled, letting her kiss my forehead as if I were a child.
“Alright, then. If you’re absolutely set on doing this, I need to find the old maps we used when we found you. I’ve buried them away, but never threw them out. I guess a reminder of how each day is a true gift.”
I added a dab of creamer to my mug, averting my eyes to the elm. The leaves swayed in the breeze as I swallowed the heavy apprehension. I watched the leaves try but fail to clutch to the branch. A handful of golden leaves fell, the same as my stomach fell to my feet. Whether I was ready or not, I was about to return to the darkness of my childhood.
Chapter 7
The road twisted through the serene forest. White pines and sycamore trees were lined in thick rows, and I couldn’t see more than a few feet from the road. Justin drove slowly, his hand clutching mine, as we relaxed to the slow tune of a love song crackling on the radio.
I took in Justin’s profile. He had shaved recently, and looked a few years younger with a smooth face. I’d grown to love the way he combed his caramel-colored hair in a tousled wave. Justin had little flecks of gold in his eyes, which I found mesmerizing when he laughed. My favorite feature was the small dimple next to the corner of his mouth on one side that only appeared when he smirked. Emotion caught in my throat as I thought over the last few weeks I’d been with Justin, and how I hoped conquering the hole would keep him with me much longer.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, glancing back and forth between me and the road.
I traced my finger over his knuckles, smiling coyly. “It’s kind of dumb,” I whispered.
Justin scoffed. “Oh come on, tell me.”
My eyes followed the winding dirt road as I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I was thinking how much these last few weeks have meant to me.”
I felt Justin kiss my head. “Me too. Well, here’s the road to Shadow Lake, is this the one?”
I sat straight and unfolded the old map with red pen scratched along the front. It was surreal to see the exact map the search and rescue team had marked to find me. Mom had added new lines, with the exact route they’d traveled.
“Yes, take the Shadow Lake road,” I instructed, pointing ahead. “Then there should be an old ranger station about three miles up. That’s where we start hiking.”
Justin meandered the car onto the gravel road, bumping along deeper into the dark woods. My heart pounded in time with the trembling car as the sunlight faded against the wall of tree
s. Justin tried to make easy conversation, but I found it difficult to think of anything except where we were going.
“There it is,” he said abruptly, pointing to an old cabin-like building on the side of the road.
Green moss trailed along the wooden boards, and the windows seemed to have been used for target practice over the years. I swallowed the tight ball lodged in my throat, as I threw a heavy jacket over my shoulders. Why did the air suddenly seem ten degrees colder? There was a road slithering out from behind the old station; though it was covered in brush and overgrown grass, it led into the deepest part of the forest.
I glanced at the map and took a deep breath. “Looks like that is the way to go,” I told Justin.
His reassuring smile reminded me why I was doing this. I couldn’t sit back when I’d seen him die. Even if it was all in my mind, even if four days from now there was no suburban, there was no accident, I couldn’t take that risk.
As if something inside told me I was right, I took a confident step behind the station once we locked up the car. The forest was changing in the cooler weather. The leaves painted the area in bright red, yellow, and orange. Some had started to fall, and our footsteps crunched along the path, crinkling the fallen leaves beneath our shoes.
“So, what kind of hole is it?” Justin asked. “Just so I can keep my eyes peeled.”
“My mom said it was an old well, it should be just up there a little further,” I said, hating how my voice trembled.
Justin took out a small black flashlight, shining it through the dim light of the trees. I nestled closer to him, trying to ignore the building instinct in my mind to turn back. For a moment, I had hope we wouldn’t be able to find it. Perhaps the well had been torn down. I mean, I’d almost died inside, surely the rangers or Mayor would have insisted the well be filled in. I could handle standing next to a dirt clump, without a hole which seemed to open the center of the earth.