by LJ Andrews
“And you think this guy is special?” Dale said crossing his arms over his fitted suit.
“I don’t know Dale,” I sighed. “But I’m going to go find out. Have a great weekend.”
I pushed through the front doors, leaving Dale to stew in his torn pride, at least until Monday’s backlash. I was certain he would come in with grand stories of his weekend escapades, and I secretly hoped I might have my own story to tell.
*
El Sobroso was made from adobe brick and lay in the restaurant hub of Shadow’s Keep shopping center. Spicy scents of bell peppers and picante sauce made my mouth water. A waitress passed by without slowing her rapid pace as she balanced an oval tray on her palm. I couldn’t help but ogle the overstuffed burrito smothered in a creamy sauce. My stomach grumbled, and I suddenly couldn’t wait to put in an order.
The parking lot was filling up as I looked through the circular window, but no sign of Justin. I was a bit early, but it was awkward sitting between couples and families alone. I pulled out my phone nonchalantly to check the time. It was eight, and my stomach angrily reminded me I was starving.
I pulled the black dress over my lap, straightening any wrinkles. The dress had been hanging in the department store window as I left work earlier. I pushed down the buyer’s remorse. I was not one to spend money, though I don’t know where my frugality came from, but without a second thought I’d rushed inside and purchased the new dress. The fabric fell just below my knees, and accented what little curves I had nicely—at least the saleswoman had convinced me of such things. As I fiddled with the hem, I chided myself for being silly enough to buy a brand-new dress for a guy I didn’t even know.
“Wow, you look beautiful,” a familiar voice said.
I stood, as Justin pushed through several groups waiting to be seated. Why did my cheeks always flush when he smiled? He wore a tight, black button-down shirt tucked into a pair of nice faded jeans.
“Sorry, I’m a little late,” he continued. “One of the lights was out and traffic backed up a bit by my place.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I waved his excuse away.
“I have to admit, I wasn’t sure if you’d show. I didn’t ask you in the most conventional way, but I’m excited you came.”
Justin’s chestnut hair was combed and gelled neatly to one side, and the subtle scruff on his face added a distinguished look to his expression.
“I’m happy you asked,” I responded, though I couldn’t shake a sense of foreboding building in my chest. Taking a deep breath, I tried to suppress any concerns about what Justin might think of me if he ever learned about my nightmares. There was no sense worrying about long-term before our second date had even started.
The silence lasted for a long moment as we both stared at one another, smiling awkwardly. Thankfully, a hostess called my name I’d offered for the waiting list and led us to a table. It was surprising how easily the conversation flowed once we were seated. I even allowed myself to forget for a moment the looming secrets I carried beneath the surface.
“So, what brought you to Shadow’s Keep?” I asked, digging my spoon into our shared bowl of fried ice cream. If my ravenous sweet tooth didn’t scare Justin away, I was convinced nothing would.
Justin’s face darkened, and I wondered if I’d said something wrong. He took a large bite and leaned back in his seat, twiddling with his napkin. “It’s kind of a long story. I didn’t really fit in back in Boston, and I guess I needed a fresh start.” Justin rolled his napkin and clenched his jaw.
“I didn’t mean to bring up a bad subject; you don’t have to say anything else,” I squeaked out a whisper and ran a nervous hand through my curly ponytail.
Justin eyed me thoughtfully, his striking eyes seeming to study me from the inside out. “You know, I’ve never really talked about it with anyone, except my parents. But, for some reason…I don’t know, I feel like you might understand.” He paused, one brow raising. “Too heavy for a second date?”
I released a nervous laugh and settled deeper in my chair. “I’m all ears if you want to tell me.”
Clearing his throat, Justin leaned forward, his voice barely above a whisper. “About six years ago, when I was barely seventeen, I was involved in an armed robbery at a gas station.”
I eyed him suspiciously for a moment, until he shook his head. “No, I wasn’t the one doing the robbing. I was just in the store.”
“That’s terrible,” I responded sincerely, feeling the sudden urge to take Justin’s hand.
He took the initiative and grabbed mine first. Methodically, he rubbed his thumb over my slender fingers and nodded. “It was really terrifying. I was with a buddy of mine, and we just crouched down, trying to hide. I remember turning my back to the cash register. I’ll never forget how the guy just screamed all sorts of awful things at the cashier.”
“So, what happened? Did the police catch the guy?”
Justin shook his head. “He, uh…well, you know those mirrors they have in the corner of convenient stores?” I nodded, my heart thumping as the story’s intensity grew. “I looked up right when the guy raised a gun on the cashier, and the next thing I remember is just hearing a great bang. I didn’t see anything else, but the guy took off. The police came pretty quick after, but it was too late for the cashier.”
I covered my mouth in disbelief. An overwhelming sense of empathy for Justin cloaked my body as I gripped his hand even tighter. His eyes brightened as his thoughts seemed to drift back to the terrible memory for a moment, until he smiled and leaned back in his chair.
“Anyway, after months of witness questioning, the case went cold. But, this is kind of embarrassing, I had terrible nightmares. I couldn’t shake the feeling the shooter was going to come back and find all of us who were in the store. I stopped being me. I struggled in school, and never did anything.
“I made it through graduation, but after that I had to get out of the city. I signed up for classes at Penn State. After college, I wanted to come back home, but I still couldn’t go back to Boston. So, I checked out the map and found Shadow’s Keep. Close enough I can still visit my parents from time to time, but I’m away from the memories. This place is small, and nothing happens, but that is exactly why I love it here.”
I sucked in a long breath. “I don’t even know what to say, Justin. What a terrible thing to go through.”
He nodded, tugging at his jeans. “Yeah, well I guess we all have our things, right? So, Laney, what’s your thing?”
I watched his playful expression, imagining how Justin might react if I plunged in and admitted things that frightened me. I twirled my hair several times and took a long gulp of water before cautiously meeting his eye.
“I, uh…I don’t really know how to explain it. When I was four, my family went camping up by Shadow Lake. Somehow, I ran off and got lost in the woods. I don’t remember everything,” I admitted, my pulse raced as the thought of talking about the dark hole caused my palms to sweat. “But somehow I fell down a hole. I was stuck inside for what seemed like forever. My mom told me it was almost fourteen hours before I was found. It’s where I got this,” I said, revealing the arrow-shaped scar. Justin traced it gently with his thumb as I continued, feeling confident he would be one who might understand irrational fear.
I scoffed as I continued. “Now, people say I’m cursed because I stumbled into some prison which holds some great darkness. Sometimes I have like, flashbacks. Sometimes they can be paralyzing,” I hinted without giving too much overwhelming details. “I’m…talking with someone about them.”
Justin listened intently, never pulling his hand away, which I took as a good sign. “I think that’s great,” he gently whispered. “I went to a counselor after my incident too. It can really help.”
I nodded, feeling my shoulders relax. “Yeah, I think it does. Anyway, after some advice recently, I’ve been thinking I might go back to the place where I fell in. You know, see if facing the fear helps the flashbacks stop.
”
Justin smiled. “You know I did the same thing. When I came back from college, before I moved here. I went to the store and went inside. It was hard, one of the hardest things I’ve done. But I grabbed a bag of chips, went up to the counter, smiled at the new guy behind the register, and walked out. And you know what? No more nightmares. And for the record, Laney. I don’t think you’re cursed.”
I couldn’t help but smile, though inside a wave of emotions billowed deep in my stomach at the idea of seeing the hole again. We sat in silence, just studying one another. I breathed in his scent. The fresh, clean smell of his cologne drew me in closer. Finally, Justin wrapped my fingers in his and pulled me to my feet.
“It’s getting late, the waitress keeps eyeing us,” he said, nodding at the young woman clearing salt and pepper shakers from the tables.
I marveled at the time. Had I really been so engrossed in Justin I failed to notice the restaurant was empty except for staff? We sauntered hand in hand into the parking lot. I breathed in the relief of confiding some of my burdens in someone who could understand. Justin Murray was interesting, handsome, and had a past just like me.
He didn’t know everything. He didn’t know I believed I’d seen my father’s death, or Mrs. Gardener’s. But for now, it was healing to know he’d heard a piece of my darkness, and he was still holding tightly to my hand.
“This is me,” I said, clicking my key fob. The lights in the small car lit up with the chirp of the doors unlocking. I could feel Justin standing close behind after I tossed my purse on the driver’s seat and shut the door again, turning to face him.
The cool metal of my door pressed against my back, there was no space between us, but Justin still hovered closely. “I want to keep seeing you, Laney. If you want to,” he said in a raspy voice.
My stomach flopped, his lips were so close. As his forehead brushed against mine I felt dizzy. I trembled when he wrapped his arm around the small of my back, his hands fitting perfectly. His eyes were like white fire, and they ignited as he pulled me in toward him. The tension hovered between us, as we both fought internally with who should make the first move.
With surprising ease, Justin lifted his hand to the side of my face, and gently brushed his lips against mine as if testing to see if I’d allow him to kiss me completely. I raised my face upward, feeling as if I might explode if he didn’t kiss me, but the nagging self-doubt bounced inside my thoughts. Years had passed since I’d even been on a date, let alone kissed someone. But something about Justin calmed my nerves, and as he closed the gap between us, my body relaxed and seemed to melt into his.
His kiss was slow and tender. When he pulled away, it was if an electric charge lingered on my lips.
“I’ll take that as we can see one another again?” he said, smiling playfully. I kept my eyes closed and nodded. “Drive safely, Laney Martin,” he said, opening my door.
I rested against the seat as Justin walked away, enjoying the sensation from our intimate moment. Turning the ignition, I jumped and released a small shriek of surprise when my eyes lifted to the road. A short distance away, just outside the range of my headlights, a man in a black leather jacket was watching me. His hair was dark, like the night sky. He had a trim beard, and was stunningly handsome. I had never seen a person with such chiseled features, almost as if he’d leapt from a magazine cover.
Handsome as he was, his shadowed gaze sent chills down my spine. His eyes were locked with mine, I knew he was looking at me since no one was near. Slowly, I inched the Camry out of the parking lot. He shook his head in my direction. Why was he shaking his head? He never moved closer, only kept his unyielding focus on my car. His face was forlorn, and his expression caused me to think he was warning me of something, though I saw no immediate danger.
I steered away from the dark stranger, my nerves making my stomach nauseous. As the man faded when I turned on the main road, I took several deep breaths trying to bring back the thrill of the night. The eerie stranger had sent my mind spinning and distracted me from ever realizing the fact Justin had called me by my last name, a name I’d never mentioned.
Chapter 5
Weeks with Justin seemed to fly by. I sat with Mom on the long suede couch at her home celebrating my twenty-second birthday. The scent in the house wafted richly, and my mouth watered as I determined if I wanted a second helping of my favorite meal: smothered lasagna with homemade French bread.
Tyler had surprised me by gifting a beautiful jewelry box he’d made in his wood shop class at school. I handled the delicate oak box, overwhelmed by the time and care he’d taken to the craft. Mom had purchased us tickets to New York City. I bounced like a child at Disneyland when she handed me the tickets to see Wicked on Broadway, even if we still had to wait two months.
Although I had begged Justin not to give me anything, I lost my breath when I unwrapped the box with a stunning sapphire bracelet. Each gem was a slightly different shade of blue, and lined together it looked like trapped ocean water was swirling about on the silver chain.
We were lazing about, enjoying the cool autumn air gently pushing away summer. My mom and I watched without much interest as Tyler and Justin battled one another in a video game which seemed to be set on an oozing, slimy planet.
“Laney, want to help me get some snacks? Looks like these boys might be burrowed down here for a while.”
“Not if this kid keeps killing me,” Justin laughed.
I smiled warmly at the exuberant grin on Tyler’s face at the compliment. I dragged my feet after Mom, feeling silly and smitten for not wanting to be separated from Justin too long. The kitchen was open and breezy, painted in a pale gray with white cupboards. The kitchen was my favorite room in the house (not just because I loved to eat). So many moments had passed by in the walls of the bright kitchen.
Mom had taught me to make the butter cookies my grandma loved. I’d cried over skinned knees, mean kids at school, and spent many nights working through the horrid nightmares over steaming mugs of chamomile tea.
“You really need help with a few bags of chips and dip, mom?” I teased.
Mom glanced at me, a twinkle in her eye giving away the ulterior motive. “I wanted to talk with you, just us girls.”
I plopped on a bar stool, chomping into an over-salted potato chip. “Okay, out with it. What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing,” she said, holding her hands up in defense. “I just wanted to talk with my daughter. How are you doing? You and Justin seem to be really close.”
I nodded slowly, grimacing as the second attempt at a potato chip left my mouth dry with salt. “Yeah, I guess we are getting close.”
“It’s gone pretty fast, wouldn’t you say?”
Furrowing my brow, I cocked my head to one side. “How long did you and Dad date?”
Mom laughed and gathered a pile of paper plates. “Okay, touché. I just want to know what you think about him. You really haven’t dated a lot, Lane.”
I shrugged, considering her comments as I admired the new bracelet on my wrist. “I like him. A lot. He’s the first person, apart from you and Ty, who I can be myself around. He’s smart, a gentleman, and he’s not bad on the eyes.”
My mom smiled, but I sensed something was still bothering her.
“What is it mom? Just say it, we’re not good at keeping things from one another.”
“Nothing, really. I think Justin is great. You’re right he is all those things you mentioned. I just want you to be careful. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re trying to get settled on your own. Maybe just take it slow. One thing at a time. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“You think Justin is going to hurt me?” I questioned, feeling the walls of defense construct unwillingly inside.
“No need to get testy,” she said, gathering the bags of chips. “I didn’t say I think he’s going to hurt you. I just want you to take these new things in life slow, okay? You’re young. There’s no need to rush.”
I
relented and nodded, appeasing her mother’s worries, but I could sense as Mom rejoined the guys in the other room, she wasn’t being completely honest. I wondered what had Mom so worried.
*
“Your brother decimated me,” Justin chuckled as we drove back toward my apartment.
“I think he was thrilled to play against someone who actually understood the game. His friends hardly play, and I know it may surprise you, but I’m not the best at video games,” I admitted, acting as if I’d delivered the surprise of the year.
“No? You, not be good at something. I don’t believe it,” Justin teased, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
I shoved his arm, bringing his addicting laugh from his throat, as he pulled alongside the curb of my building.
“Do you want to stay a little longer?” The question was slow and cautious. The muscles in my sides tightened as I waited for Justin’s reaction. I didn’t want the night to end, but also thought of mom’s request to keep things slow. I held my breath thinking I had asked too soon.
“I’d love to,” Justin responded, his voice in a sultry whisper.
Justin helped me out of the car and up the curb, but stopped for a moment, pulling me closer. “You know Laney, before we go up, I wanted to talk to you about something. You mean something to me, I know I’m not eloquent with words,” he said, his cheeks flushing as I couldn’t help but snicker at his declaration. “But you do mean a lot, and I’ve been thinking of something you told me a while ago. You told me you still get nightmares from getting lost in the woods.”
I stepped back, surprised by the sudden change of conversation. Since our second date, neither of us had mentioned our dark memories. It caught me off guard, and the rushing thoughts of shadows reaching for me through the ground sent chills up my spine.
“Before you say anything, I just wanted to tell you, I think it would be good for you to go back…when you’re ready. I want you to be free, like I am now. All I’m trying to say is, when you decide to do it, I’ll come with you. You don’t have to do it alone.”