There was no way in hell I’d let him do that to her. I was sure he’d done it, he’d hurt her, and I just knew it. After all the days we’d scrounged for lights and food. After all the times my moms had to scrape just to make sure I wasn’t in school in dirty, holey jeans and my shoes was all right, he had the nerve to hurt her. Me and my mom stood eye to eye and my pops towered over both of us but at that moment anger had me feeling like an oak tree. He’d need some steel and a good fifty swings before he took me down.
I took the stairs two at a time, barefoot, in nothing but my Duke basketball shorts and a black wife beater. Mom’s favorite lamp in the living room was busted and the couch was completely turned over. My stomach turned, blood was everywhere, but I kept moving. A trail of blood ran across the couch it dripped over the tan hardwood flooring ending in a puddle where I now stood, in the cul-de-sac exactly where I’d last seen my moms standing. Steam rose off the top of my head as I stared at the two dry, blocky outlines on the pavement. Oil from the leak in Mom’s car mingled with rain, dirt, and black rocks. They were both gone.
Mrs. Nikoli came wobbling her old nosey ass over from across the way. “Dontay, sweetheart, you all right, baby? The police on the way; let’s get you out of this here rain okay?”
I nodded and walked back toward my house. Mrs. Nikoli was the only white lady on our block and that made her the neighborhood first responder. Not like help, but like the first person to look and then call the police if anything popped off. She’d then be the first one to relay her findings to everyone else.
I tried to take up as much of the doorway as I could and she tried her best to look around me. “I’m good, Mrs. Nikoli. I’ll be fine ’til the police get here.”
She wasn’t budging that easily. Her head shook nonstop from side to side as she pointed her wrinkled hand toward the living room. “You know can’t touch anything, sweetheart. If your momma is bad off, they need to see all this,” she told me.
Her words made a knot swell up in my throat and my eyes started to burn as images of how I’d seen my moms last flashed in my head. She had a point; Pops needed to get in trouble for this even if I wasn’t the one to mete out his punishment. I must have blinked about a hundred times as I peered past Mrs. Nikoli and stepped onto the porch faking like I’d seen a car approaching. I dropped down hard into the little plastic chair that we used in the summer for car watching and enjoying the weather.
Thankfully she was quiet as she took the seat across from mine. We sat and listened to the rain bounce off the roof of the front porch. I kept taking deep, damp, earth-scented breaths to calm myself down. Mrs. Nikoli smelled like black jelly beans and a distillery or Ouzo, that insanely awful liquor her late husband used to make. That’s probably why she was so quiet and leaning in her seat every time the wind blew.
It took them bastards almost two hours to show up and they kept asking about my peeps doin’ drugs or drinking. As far as I know the only person who’d been drinking was standing right in front of them and she was looking stuff over more thoroughly than they were. I got sent upstairs when Pops surprisingly rolled back up. He stopped in the doorway with a look of disgust on his face and sweat staining the pits of his gray undershirt that he always wore like a regular shirt after work. Mom’s blood was a big, blotchy dark red moth on the front. It reminded me of one of those Rorschach patterns they show to crazy people.
There was so much blood in the house the cops wanted to know where my moms was and if she needed a doctor or had gone to see one. He said she’d been flying around behind him trying to run him off the road and he lost her. That’s all I could hear with my ear pressed against the grate of the vent in my bedroom floor.
Mom’s job called the next day because she didn’t show up. She wasn’t in any of the hospitals, wasn’t at any of my aunts’ places. Pops got picked up off and on for a week so he could be questioned when she still hadn’t turned up. I was wondering what really happened too. He sat me down one night over his version of spaghetti. It was really just the mess that comes in a can and all he did was heat it up to room temperature. The taste was something like mixing together ketchup and Purplesau-rus Rex Kool-Aid with lots of orange hamburger grease on top of it.
“Dontay, me and your mom ain’t been one hundred for a minute.” He started talking between mouthfuls of noodles. “I know you might be upset with me now and you ain’t understanding this shit but she knew we weren’t working out and caused that whole scene cutting herself and shit.”
Without thinking I yelled across the table, “I saw everything. I watched you push her away.”
His chair slid back scraping across the linoleum until it slammed into the cabinets behind him. Just as my airway was cut off by his meaty fist I was pulled to my feet. He lifted me up until we were eye to eye and my toes were dangling above the floor. Pop’s eyes shifted back and forth between mine, heat surged out his nostrils up against my skin, and I held my biting the inside of my lower lip. I wasn’t about to be inhaling his recycled air. His fingers tightened. It felt like my lungs were about to explode inside of my chest. I struggled for air.
“You listen to me, little nigga. I didn’t do a damn thing and if anybody asks that exactly what the fuck you say.”
Spaghetti grease and spit landed on my nose and cheeks before he dropped me without a second thought. I coughed and held my throat, staring at the knife on the kitchen table. My leg shook from how bad I wanted to slice him for every single shred of hurt he’d caused my moms. For doing whatever he’d done to her. He was saved by an angel in the form of a knock on our front door.
“We’ve got company. Now, straighten this shit up.”
Pops opened the door and that was the night Toi moved herself in. She walked herself up in the house acting like she’d won the top prize in the lottery. They got married a year later; it was the same day the divorce went through and Pops was telling everyone he had his “happily ever after.” That shit lasted all the way up until they found Mom’s car abandoned out near some woods deep in the country and Pops got picked up on murder charges. We were already barely making it and then Pops borrowed money from Toi, sinking all of it into his lawyer. The investigation and the trial dragged on for a year before Pops got acquitted because they didn’t have enough evidence without a body and he wouldn’t confess or plea bargain.
He and Toi went through it worse than him and my moms did. Whatever money she had was gone and they stayed at it day and night until they all but hated each other. Toi didn’t stay on top of things like my mom had. A little ways before I turned sixteen it was the same shit all over again. Pops was coming home late if he came home at all and since Toi didn’t work, money was even tighter than before. I walked onto the back porch one Sunday. Toi was crying into a mason jar of Long Island Iced Tea. She was talking about killing him. He seemed to have that effect on women. This dude had gone and run off on another one of his weekend “paint jobs” leaving us stranded. Toi finally got it into that head of hers that she wasn’t his favorite toy anymore.
Instinctively I sat down on the white wicker love seat that was falling to pieces. My mom had picked it out and since Toi ain’t have any decorating sense and her money was all but gone we never got rid of it. On my life, it started with the purest of intentions. Hatred at the man who raised me and the way he treated the women in his life was the only thing on my mind. Then Toi started doing that dramatic drunk crying thing that women do. It felt good to see her hurt for what she’d put my moms through. Toi was clinging to my neck for dear life with her breath hot against my skin. That shit shut down my big brain and rebooted my little one. I was instantly taken somewhere else with the sounds coming from in between her lips.
I’d reacted before I even knew I was reacting and she felt it, but she didn’t pull away. She leaned back and I couldn’t take my eyes off her grief, swollen lips. I was going to say something; the world would never know what though. Her lips were on mine and they were salty, full, and sad. In my head I kept tell
ing myself that what I was doing with my stepmom was in some sick crazy way for my real mother.
Every Sunday about as sure as summer Toi would teach me a new position or some new form of foreplay. She had my young ass so far gone. On the few occasions when my pops was home I’d act like I was leavin’ the house to hang out with my boys when I was really going to hide in the shower. Toi would come in, lock the door, and we’d let the water run until we couldn’t see through the steam.
All that ended the day my moms walked through the front door. Pops was a cold dude, but my moms was a cold beast. She had Pops steppin’ out on Toi the moment he’d gotten acquitted. She’d been living out at my great-great-grandparents’ abandoned farm not far from where they found her car. She got to lie low, not work, and make Pop’s life a living hell all at the same time.
My moms walked up in there with her chin up in the air and in the heat of the moment and to save face Toi had to fly off and announce we were in love. Which yeah, by then I was as much in love as a young nigga could get but I couldn’t say the words. Moms whooped her ass while Pops was beatin’ on me. They threatened to press charges, but Toi was talking about never leaving me alone and I was down for it. They were gonna ship me off to military school or some kind of “hand over your kids” program if I didn’t agree to their demands. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about her, obsess over her, or try to find her until I decided it was time to get over her.
The song ended and Toi got up from the all-white baby grand in a dark purple skirt with a lighter-shaded silk tank top. My eyes lit up, at the unexpected surprise of seeing her. It felt like there was a magnetic cord stretching across the room connecting my eyes to hers. We hadn’t seen each other since the day I ran into her at church with Eva and when she finally reached out to me a year ago it was to tell me I had a ten-year-old daughter. Destiny had a tumor and needed all these surgeries that cost all kinds of stupid money. And we still lost her.
I clenched and unclenched my hand in my pocket. Shit was not supposed to go down the way it did. I’d only taken enough to get Destiny’s surgeries and while keeping both Fayme and Toikea happy and then everything fell on Eva’s head. I couldn’t even speak up on her behalf or I’d sink too. Now I was trapped. Damned if I said something and a fool if I ain’t take Toi and run. Love or no love my sentence could have been worse than settling for this marriage shit. Toi’s skin still had that glow I remembered; she even smelled and smiled the same with her one dimple. I almost hadn’t recognized her the first time I’d seen her with her hair in short, choppy, layered pixie cut. It wasn’t bad considering she used to only rock this poufy mane of deep wave remy. That mess shed all over the house; it was one of the main reasons I hated when Eva put all that shit in her hair. She was staring up at me smiling from all of her five feet and some change.
I offered her a distracted smile. “What are you doing up here already? I thought you’d still be getting dressed,” I finally managed to croak out.
She reached out grabbing me by my pinky. That was always her thing; she’d never hold my hand, just a finger. But Toi had tiny hands to begin with so it actually worked better that way.
She smiled. “I have a surprise for you.”
Chapter 26
Dontay Pipe Dream
“My boat?” I asked Toi again.
She’d led me away from everyone else toward the helm. We were standing in what I’d call a pimped-out woodgrain black leather-clad cockpit. The instrument clusters were all lit up in bright blues and greens outlined with gold bezels. I got rock hard just looking at it and thinking my name was attached to it.
Toi stood on her toes and smiled up at me. She kissed the tip of my nose, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “It’s my wedding present to my future husband.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
I couldn’t speak. Hell, I ain’t even know we were exchanging gifts and whatnot. My collar was starting to feel extra tight around my neck. I know what she wanted to hear but I was still reeling from the fact that she’d just handed me a boat like a pair of shoes. A nigga ain’t even have a job. Not that Toi knew that. There were just so many not-good times to say something; like even now was just not a good time. I’d gotten fired behind some bullshit from my warehouse job.
Mr. Owens was one of those old as hell, twenty cups of coffee drinking fools, with stained brown teeth and shaky hands. He always acted like he had a problem with the boys in the warehouse bay. We got the worst bonuses, shifts, and never got thanked for shit. Last year he married a twenty-something chocolate drop who he met online of all places.
He messed up when he made her the payroll manager setting her up in her own office. Out of 1,000 people in the workplace only thirty were women so all day she’s looking at men in all different shapes, sizes, and flavors who ain’t her husband. But, I guessed he forgot to tell wifey about the hidden cameras in the office spaces. Mr. Owens caught her getting it in, but he could only see the dude’s back. He said he wouldn’t divorce her if she’d just tell him who it was. Who do you think matched her secret fucker’s build, height, and complexion? He could have at least given me some severance pay. I couldn’t even get Fayme to give me a courtesy fuck, but I bet she would if I brought her on this boat.
“What’s the matter, pumpkin? You don’t like it, we can change anything up here so it’s just the way you like it okay?”
I nodded. “I want to name it Destiny then.”
Toi rolled her eyes. “See I told that li’l man you’d want something like that. It already has a name: it’s the Poseidon’s Point. I don’t know if we can change it. Something about title, registrations, and stuff, just like a car.”
“It’s fine. What the hell’s in a stupid boat’s name anyway?”
I leaned down kissing her hard and deep to show my appreciation. Toi sighed against my lips and melted into me. I had every intention on christening every inch of this boat starting right here. Breaking the kiss long enough nibble her neck, I lifted her up onto the console and positioned myself in between the heat of her thighs. She gasped, and started fumbling with my pants.
Someone cleared their throat and pounded me hard on the back of my shoulder.
“Dontay, I’ve got someone here for you to meet,” Bear interrupted.
I almost groaned out loud. I helped Toi down, looked to the ceiling, and turned around.
“Dontay James, I remember you back in the day, Norfolk State. Power forward, started in every game Deacon once called you a submarine Christian,” Reverend Matthews joked. “Said you only surfaced what twice a year Christmas and Easter? Right, am I right?”
Reverend Matthews laughed one of those boisterous hurt-your-ears-loud Norseman laughs, jabbing me in the arm with his elbow. I crossed my arms tight over my chest not even slightly amused. I didn’t feel like entertaining anyone that was connected to Deacon. Sister Bealiah’s conversation from the nail shop all those years ago came back to me. I clamped my jaw against the jealous wave of heat that shot up my neck. I didn’t want to imagine this fat-fucker touchin’ Fayme. I looked by my side and noticed Toi had somehow managed to slip away and that only irritated me further.
“Come on, Dontay, the reverend was about to hear me out on this business model I came up with. He’s got a lot of decent investment ideas if you want to get in.”
Reverend Matthews ran his fingers over his goatee tilting his head to one side. “You know I can always use somebody at the church. Bodyguards or something high profile in case they try to take me out like that minister in Belly.”
Reverend Matthews spun on his heel. My eyes damn near bulged out of my head. Bear made the mean-mug money face, either fist pumping the air or doing a one-man choo choo train.
I whispered, “How the hell he even know what Belly is?”
Bear shrugged.
We went up another level to a smaller deck that was almost identical to the one we’d just left except the skylight was open letting the fresh sea air pour in. Revere
nd Matthews’s shoes tapped against the hardwood floor until then he threw himself into an oversized couch with a sigh. Vaughn and myself took a seat on the couch across from it. Ralph Lauren Romance was all over the fabric.
“So, how do you like your new man cave, Dontay?”
“Haven’t got to enjoy it yet; just found out it was mine.”
“Toi always been real special; don’t mind letting something like this go for someone like her.”
Reverend Matthews made a couple of phone calls. And I looked at Bear, my expression saying I was about to murder a reverend. Bear twisted his mouth to the side silently vouching for this dude. Shaking my head my face turned into an ugly scowl. If Toi didn’t have the money for Destiny’s procedures, she damn sure wouldn’t have the money to buy a yacht.
Reverend Matthews reached down beside the couch pulling out a small remote, pointing for us to do the same. We were on some real Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, crazy money nonsense on somebody else’s dime. My soon-to-be wife had all but hoed herself out to get me a yacht. The couches had massagers and heaters with like thirty settings. Maybe this was karma for my bad deed.
Reaching down I grabbed the massager control. There was something else in that little leather holder, too. But, I’d switched my seat on ignoring the glass stem with the copper wire filter in the bottom of it. My fingers flew away from the crack pipe like it’d burned me. Bear and Reverend Matthews were both holding theirs when I sat back.
Without hesitating Bear picked up a lighter off the glass table in front of us.
“Nigga?” I gave his stupid ass the side eye, nudging him with my elbow.
“Calm down, Tay? Can I call you Tay? Tay-Tay, Tater-Trot. Look, when we out chea, we does what we does. Don’t hurt if it’s once in a while.”
I stared at Reverend Matthews with my jaw hanging in my lap. He balanced the phone between his ear and shoulder better than Toi in the middle of a gossip session. Lighters flickered beside and in front of me. I’d only seen this shit on TV.
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