Baby In A Million

by Rebecca Winters

  “Yes.”

  “That means you were coming to find me.” The satisfaction in those words twisted the knife a little more.

  “Oh, I found you all right.” By now her hands had curled into fists.

  “Tell me exactly what you saw.” While she shook convulsively, he stood calm as water in a still pond.

  “Sheila was lying on your bed,” she began, “in a very provocative pose. She had put on your kelly-green bathrobe, the one I gave you on our first wedding anniversary. The one you’d worn to my room.” Her voice quavered precariously. “The belt was undone, and she wasn’t wearing anything underneath.”

  “Go on.”

  “She’d been in the shower because I could see the wet hair dangling from the towel she’d wrapped around her head.”

  “All right. Now tell me where I was,” he muttered as an all-consuming rage seemed to have overpowered him.

  “You were in the shower. I could hear it running. She was talking to you. She called out to you, ‘Cord, darling. Come back to bed. I miss you.’ ” Ashley stood straighter. “Please don’t insult me by attempting to deny it.”

  A dark brow lifted menacingly. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Unlike you, I believe you saw what you saw. The problem is, I wasn’t there, so I have no way of knowing what that liar did or didn’t do. I have to rely on your testimony completely.”

  Ashley blinked. “But you were,” she insisted, a little less sure of herself than before.

  He put his hands on his hips in an unconscious masculine stance. “Did you see me? Did you hear me answer her?”

  “Well, no, but—”

  “For your information, I went back to the room, put on my clothes and went for a long walk. I returned when I thought you’d had enough sleep and I could waken you to tell you my plans for us. But you had gone. There was no sign of you.”

  Could he fake the wealth of loss in his voice just now?

  Cord could be so convincing, she didn’t know what to think. “W-what plans?”

  “To forsake the families who needed a champion to fight against Sheila, to allow her the complete takeover of an established business to which she gained the rights through immoral and corrupt devices, to let her keep the whole damn house and everything that went with it. In other words, to let her win.

  “And all because I wanted you more than anything else in this life. Because I wanted to go back to the Tetons where we were happy and live out the rest of our lives.”

  Ashley felt a jabbing pain in the region of her heart. It propelled her to the window where she could view the foliage surrounding the state capitol. Many of the flowering trees were in blossom. A sign of spring and hope.

  Had Sheila, with her posturing and innuendos, truly been trying to break up their marriage during those hellish two months after Cord’s father died?

  Had her jealousy driven her over the edge when she found out that Ashley and Cord slept together that last night?

  Did she really want Cord so badly, she would resort to something as wicked as pretending to be with Cord in his bedroom so Ashley would think the worst?

  Ashley closed her eyes, but the answer stared her in the face. She’d taken one look in Cord’s room, had seen what Sheila had intended for her to see and on cue had fled the scene, never looking back, never giving Cord a chance to explain.

  When she really thought about what he’d just told her, Ashley had to admit that she hadn’t seen Cord in that bedroom. She’d only seen evidence that he’d been in there. In all honesty, she never did hear his voice answering Sheila.

  Was it possible Sheila had put on that act solely for Ashley’s benefit?

  “While you’re attempting to sort through her sea of lies and machinations,” Cord interjected in his deep voice, “don’t you think that if I’d wanted to leap straight from your bed to Sheila’s, I would have gone to her room rather than my own, or at least have locked my door on the outside chance that you might have come looking for me?”

  Ashley smothered a groan because she’d just been asking herself those same questions, only Cord’s mind worked faster and he’d posed them before she could.

  She turned to him. “If what you’ve just told me about Sheila is true, then that means she’s not only a liar, she’s evil.”

  An intensely relieved sound came out of Cord, much like cloth being shredded against the grain. “I came to that conclusion about Sheila the night I found her and my father together.”

  He stared at her for a long moment. “So, Ash… it seems we’re down to her word against mine. Whom do you believe? Has so much damage happened, you can’t take my side on any issue? Is that the prob—”

  But she didn’t hear the rest of his question because an aide poked his head in the door. “Lunch is almost over. You’d better hurry down if you want some.” While Cord assured him they’d be right there, Ashley glanced at her watch. It was twenty after twelve. While they’d been reliving the trauma of the past, time had escaped them completely.

  “Let’s go,” Cord muttered, cupping her elbow. “I think the three of us could stand some nourishment about now.”

  The three of us.

  As Cord escorted her down the hall, Ashley had to admit that even if he’d only found out he was going to be a father five hours ago, their baby was already as much a part of his life as it was hers.

  When they entered the makeshift dining room, the five other couples greeted them, urging them to join the group. Ashley accepted with an eagerness that she knew irritated Cord.

  He wanted an answer from her, but she was still trying to assimilate everything he’d told her and couldn’t possibly give him one yet. In Ashley’s mind, the subject of Sheila was still very painful. And though Cord’s stepmother presented the greatest stumbling block to their happiness, there were other contributing factors they hadn’t touched on.

  Right now Ashley was thankful for the respite, for other people. She filled her plate with fresh fruit and a roll. Cord made himself a couple of sandwiches out of the cold cuts left and took a liberal helping of salad.

  While Cord poured himself a cup of coffee, she sat down with the others and started getting acquainted. He joined her and before long had everyone talking, even the older couple, Kathy and Jerry, who’d at first seemed reticent to contribute. Cord’s urbane charm and sophistication was potent.

  She passed on the pie, but noticed he had two helpings. Jerry made the comment that being deprived of cigarettes would probably cause them to gain weight in the hospital. His comment brought good-natured laughter from the others. Even Cord’s lips curved upward.

  It had been so long since Ashley had seen that carefree light in his eyes, she’d almost forgotten how ruggedly handsome he could look. A blush crept over her face and neck when he caught her staring at him.

  Just then Dr. Drake came in and announced they were going to enjoy a little time getting acquainted as a group, learning about each other’s families, children, hobbies, interests,

  “Are you ready?” Cord murmured, his tone husky. He only sounded like that when his emotions were affected like hers.

  She nodded and looked away, conscious of his arm brushing against her back after he’d helped arrange the chairs in a circle. Their close proximity had the effect of blurring the lines, lowering all her pitiful defenses against his virile appeal.

  During the next hour while everyone had the opportunity to express him or herself, Ashley’s bones had become liquefied. While they’d been seated, Cord slid his arm around her shoulders, almost as if he couldn’t help himself. But because he was a man who had always been physically possessive of her, he probably wasn’t aware of the gesture.

  Secretly, Ashley had always loved the feeling of being treated as his exclusive property. It made her feel cherished, like she belonged. Maybe it was because she hadn’t grown up in a family with loving parents where she knew she was safe and secure.

  Whatever the reason, Cord had fulfilled that need in her from the start. If t
he truth be known, throughout their long separation she’d ached for this closeness. Even more startling was the fact that since he’d dragged her into the housekeeping closet, she found that her craving for his touch had intensified to a feverish pitch.

  The group therapy session, presided over by the clinic staff, was the beginning of many they would see throughout the week. Though she imagined Cord was taking everything in, Ashley couldn’t concentrate. Her thoughts had been centered on the those first four rapturous years of living with Cord.

  Close and compatible on every level, their marriage had been an extremely physical one, as well. Everything had been so perfect until they were told they might never conceive.

  Cord changed after that, became more aloof and introspective. During the last two years, they’d stopped sharing. With the advent of Sheila came the death sentence of their marriage.

  But he has denied that an affair with Sheila ever happened!

  More than anything in the world Ashley wanted to believe him. But it was still difficult to understand how any woman could do that to another woman—how Sheila would dare tamper with something as sacred as another couple’s marriage. Such destructive behavior was anathema to her.

  However there was one reality Ashley couldn’t deny. Whether Cord had encouraged her or not, Sheila had to be a very unbalanced manipulative person to pursue both him and his father. The more she reviewed it in her mind, the more she couldn’t ignore the obvious. Which left her with only one truth. Cord’s truth.

  She buried her head in her hands. He could have no idea how much she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. But it would mean placing her heart and soul in his keeping once more. Full trust.

  Could she do it again, even if they managed to straighten out the other huge problem besetting their marriage?

  “What’s wrong, Ashley?” he whispered.

  The alarm in Cord’s voice brought her head around. “Nothing. I—I was just resting my eyes.” It was a pitiful excuse, but the only one that came readily to mind.

  “Like hell you were.” His voice rasped. “You shouldn’t be here at this stage in your pregnancy. I’m going to tell Dr. Drake that we’re withdrawing. It still might not be too late for someone else to take our place.”

  “No, Cord! Don’t! I’m perfectly healthy and am planning to see this week through. If you call him, then I’m going to think that you aren’t really serious about being in here.”

  She saw his chest rise and fall, evidence of the control he was exerting not to contradict her.

  “I’m damned either way, aren’t I?” The purely rhetorical question said in such a defeated tone didn’t sound as if it were meant for her ears. It brought on an unwelcome spasm of guilt.

  “Cord—” she murmured his name tentatively “Please—let’s just go back to the room and finish today’s interview with Vince.”

  Without waiting for a response she left her seat and started for the door to the hall. Cord followed a few steps behind. Since their meeting in the corridor early that morning, this was the first time she’d felt bereft because he didn’t try to take her arm or put his hand on her back.

  By the time they’d both freshened up, Vince reappeared with a smile. “Are you two ready to go to work?”

  Cord was standing near the window, looking out at the view. When he didn’t say anything, Ashley felt compelled to speak. “Yes, of course.” In a jerky movement she lowered herself to the edge of the bed, her back to Cord.

  Vince pulled up a chair and sat down, once again taking out his legal pad.

  “This afternoon we’ll concentrate on you, Ashley. How old are you?”

  “Twenty-nine.”

  “Tell me about your family and schooling.”

  “I was given to an orphanage by my fifteen-year-old unwed mother. I grew up at St. Anne’s here in Salt Lake and was placed in several foster homes until I turned eighteen. By that period in my life I had a full-time job waitressing at a restaurant near the university.

  “With the money I earned, I went to night school and lived in a campus dorm. Because it cost so much, it took me six years to graduate in accounting.”

  “Good for you. What jobs did you do after that?”

  “I didn’t get a job in my field right away, so I moved into an apartment with three other girls and kept on waitressing. About six months later I was hired by Pier Ten Imports to do accounting at the main office in Salt Lake.”

  “How did you meet Cord?”

  “All of us at the apartment wanted to take a vacation together. So we planned and saved money for a week’s trip to the Tetons. While we were staying at the Jackson Lake Lodge, we heard you could climb the Grand Teton mountain and thought we’d try it.

  “On our way up, one of those huge summer squalls caught us by surprise. It was quite terrifying, so we decided we’d better go back. On the way down, one of the girls fell and broke her ankle. I stayed with her while the others went for help. Cord and another ranger came to our rescue.”

  “Was it love at first sight?” He winked.

  “Yes,” she admitted quietly. Ashley was thankful she couldn’t see Cord’s face right now.

  “Did you marry soon after?”

  “Yes. At a church in Jackson Hole.”

  “You had no idea your husband had ever had a smoking habit?”

  “No. He was so strong and fit and relaxed, I simply can’t picture Cord lighting up a cigarette. I guess I’m still in shock.”

  “Would you characterize your marriage as happy?”

  She struggled for breath. “Every day I woke up so happy I was married to Cord, I couldn’t believe it. Sometimes it terrified me that our relationship seemed too perfect. I was afraid it wasn’t real, that I might be dreaming and wake up without him.”

  “When did it start to go wrong?”

  “After we’d been married for about two years, we tried to have a baby. When a whole year went by and nothing happened, I visited an obstetrician in Salt Lake to see if there was anything wrong. He said everything looked good. To relax. If I didn’t conceive within the next six months, he told me to come in again and bring Cord.

  “Well, nothing happened, so we made an appointment for the both of us. That’s when we found out Cord had a problem that meant it was almost impossible for me to get pregnant. The odds were definitely not in our favor.”

  “Did you talk about adopting a baby?”

  “No,” she whispered in remembered agony.

  Vince looked perplexed. “Why?”

  “I wanted to—” she blurted. “You can’t imagine how much. But I was waiting for Cord to broach the subject first because I knew how devasta—”

  “Let’s talk about devastation, shall we?” Cord broke in without hesitation, cutting her off. She jerked around on the bed. His face held a pallor that hadn’t been there at lunch. “If you could have seen the look in your eyes, Ashley, you would have known why I didn’t dare bring up the idea of adoption.” His voice rasped.

  She was aghast. “What look? What are you talking about?”

  Unexpectedly Vince rose to his feet and looked at both of them. “I think I’ve done enough probing for today. You’ve touched on a sensitive issue which has obviously strained your marriage. I’m going to leave you to your privacy, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning at eight.

  “In the meantime, you are welcome to go for walks on this floor and use the facilities in the gym and Jacuzzi pool at the south end of the hall. Someone from the staff will be there at all times for support. After dinner at six, you’ll be free to watch movies in the auditorium or enjoy television.”

  “Vince?” Ashley caught up with him outside the room, wishing he wouldn’t have left so abruptly. She didn’t think she was ready for the next confrontation with Cord.

  “Yes, Ashley?”

  “I know we’re not supposed to leave the hospital for any reason, but I thought I’d better tell you I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday.”

  �
�As long as you and your husband go together, I don’t see a problem. But to be on the safe side, I’ll inform Dr. Drake.”

  “Thank you.”

  Everything was growing more complicated. Her obstetrician, Dr. Noble, had never said a word when she told him she was getting a divorce, but she knew deep down he disapproved. When he saw Cord in his office, not only would he be surprised and pleased, he’d assume they were back together. Nothing could be further from the truth.

  Ashley shivered in apprehension and went back inside the room. Cord had shed his suit and tie. The sleeves of his pale blue shirt had been rolled up to the elbows and he’d undone the top buttons. She caught him tucking the ends inside the waistband of his jeans. Dressed informally, he looked more like the Cord of old, before he’d had to take over the reins of the McKnight Company.

  He had a hunted, lean look, but for all that he was the most attractive man she’d ever met.

  He lounged negligently against the wall near the window, his arms folded across his broad chest. “I understood there were to be no secrets while we were in here.”

  Ashley came to a standstill. “I was asking Vince what to do about my doctor’s appointment on Wednesday. As far as he knows, it’s all right for both of us to go.”

  She sensed the instant his body stopped being relaxed. “Dr. Noble does know I’m the father?” His acid tone wounded her.

  “Of course he does, Cord. I have no doubt he’s been wanting to congratulate you for a long time. He’s told me repeatedly that he considers our pregnancy a miracle.”

  “It is,” came the thick reply. “I still can’t believe my own eyes.”

  “At first I was incredulous, too. But as time went on and I could no longer lie on my stomach, I began to believe a baby was growing inside me.”

  “You always did prefer that position when you wanted to go to sleep.” He made a step toward her. “I’ve missed having you for a blanket.”

  The intimate pictures those words conjured up sent a wave of heat through her body. “Cord—I—I think th—”

  “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it, Ashley?” he broke in, not sounding the least repentant. “Long enough that you’re uncomfortable remembering how it was with us. Let me refresh your memory.”