One Way or Another

by Rhonda Bowen

  Toni shrugged. “It’s up to you. There’s a chance that she might say no. But there’s also a chance she might say yes.”

  Jerome bit his lip thoughtfully. “Okay,” he said with a nod, looking up at Toni earnestly. “I’ll tell her I’d like to come visit, if you tell Bayne that you’re feeling him.”

  “Boy! Go try on these shirts before I knock you upside the head,” Toni said in mock annoyance as she pushed two shirts into Jerome’s hands. “The nerve!”

  “Is that a yes?” Jerome threw behind him as he headed toward the changing rooms.

  “Don’t make me get up off this seat!” Toni threatened. She shook her head as she watched him scramble into the dressing room.

  Crazy kids.

  Toni had barely parked the car in front of Jacob’s House two hours later before Jerome jumped out, suit in hand. In a couple strides he was up the steps and at the front door. Only then did he seem to remember Toni.

  “Hey, Toni, hurry up,” he called, his hands on the door. “I gotta show Bayne this. He’s gonna flip.”

  “I’m coming!” Toni said, laughing at the boy’s enthusiasm. She had never seen Jerome act so excited. He seemed to have forgotten how uncool it was to get worked up about anything. Grabbing her bags and locking the doors, she barely made it up the steps before Jerome darted inside.

  “So what do you think?” he asked, walking backward in front of her. “Think I should wear the pink tie, or the purple one?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Toni said, stepping up her own pace just to keep up with him. “You’ll look good either way. Just make sure your shoes match your belt.”

  “You’re gonna come over and check me out before I leave, right?” Jerome asked. “You always look like a million dollars. So if you say I look good, then I’ll know I’m on point....

  “Why you stopping?” Jerome asked when he realized Toni had paused at the bottom of the stairs.

  Toni bit her lip. “I can’t go up there. That’s where you guys live.”

  Jerome rolled his eyes. “It’s not that big a deal. You can come up,” he said. “I’ll just holler and let everyone know we have a visitor.”

  Toni still hesitated. “I don’t know, Jerome. Doesn’t Adam have a rule on that or something? I don’t want to overstep, you know?”

  Jerome pounded the banister impatiently. “The rule is no females upstairs after six p.m. and without a chaperone.”

  “See ...”

  “I’ll be your chaperone,” Jerome said. “Quit arguing and come on.”

  Toni sighed. “Okay, I’m coming. No need to bust a blood vessel.”

  “Don’t know what you worried about, anyway,” Jerome murmured as he continued up the stairs. “It’s not like the two of you gonna do nothing.”

  “Hey, I heard that!” Toni called after him.

  Somehow the dorm area was cleaner than Toni expected. Most of the boys had their doors open and from what she saw, everything looked pretty neat. Well, as neat as could be expected from teenage boys. It seemed like most of the guys were out of the house. But those who were in their rooms merely nodded to Toni as she passed by. Others barely gave her a second look.

  Adam’s apartment was at the end of the hall on the second floor. The door was half open when they got to it. Without hesitation Jerome barged in.

  “Yo, Bayne, guess who’s gonna be rockin’ the latest Sean John style next weekend?” Jerome yelled, disappearing inside the apartment.

  “Jerome! Don’t you know how to knock?” Toni scolded from the doorway.

  Jerome poked his head out. “Don’t worry. Bayne doesn’t mind. You can come in.”

  “I don’t think so,” Toni said, taking a step back. There was something very personal about entering Adam’s living space. Almost intimate.

  Only moments later Adam appeared at the doorway, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and socks. “He’s right, it’s no big deal. Come on in.”

  Toni took a couple delicate steps into the apartment, directly into what appeared to be a common area. It was larger than she expected it to be. Just opposite her, a huge window took up most of the wall, running almost from floor to ceiling. It was covered with light white curtains and darker orange drapes, with the drapes pulled back to let lots of natural light into the room.

  A large, soft neutral couch sat along the back wall, with orange cushions scattered on it that matched the curtains. Opposite the couch was an entertainment center with a modest television, a less modest sound system, and an insane amount of CDs that Toni immediately wanted to riffle through. A brown rug with scattered patterns in cream lay in the space between the couch and the entertainment system, along with two medium-sized ottomans that matched the couch.

  A huge picture of a Baltimore cityscape hung on the wall behind the sofa. She nodded as her eyes quickly took it all in. She felt like she had seen a part of Adam that she had not known before. She liked it.

  “So what’s the verdict?” Adam asked.

  She realized he had caught her doing her visual inspection. She grinned. “Very impressive. Who knew a guy from the projects could set up a room?”

  Adam laughed. “What? I can’t have taste?”

  “Yeah, you can,” Toni said with a smirk. “But since Trey can’t even put together an outfit without help, I have pretty low expectations of men when it comes to visual arts.”

  “Well, I have to be honest.” His eyes sparkled as he stared at her. “This isn’t all me. When I just got here Esther visited and decided to set this place up for me. I only picked out the couch and the picture. She did everything else.”

  “Really,” Toni said, folding her arms knowingly. “You didn’t pick out that top-of-the-line five-CD-changer sound system I’m looking at?”

  Adam bit back a grin. “Well, maybe I had a hand in that too. But that’s my one indulgence. The music has to be right. Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me sane around here.”

  Toni nodded, her eyes lingering on him. There was something about him today. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, though.

  “What?” he asked, looking down, then behind him, then back at Toni. “Do I have something on my shirt? My face?”

  Toni shook her head. “No,” she said with a puzzled smile. “There’s just something about you, that’s all. Something different. Like you’re more relaxed. Did you do something?”

  Adam smiled. “I caught the midday news on Fox with Tasha Carr. She had quite a story.”

  Toni smiled. She had seen Tasha’s broadcast herself while having lunch at a deli near work. It had been a follow-up report to the Jacob’s House exposé. Tasha had talked to a number of the men in Atlanta who had gone through the center. All of them had nothing but positive things to say about Jacob’s House and gave their support about keeping it open. A few of them even had a few positive things to say about Adam.

  “How did you manage to pull that off?” he asked.

  Toni shrugged. “Tasha and I went to college together back in the day before she turned big time. When I pitched the idea to her she was all over it. I think they’re going to rerun it as a special feature on the nightly news.”

  “Thank you,” he said. The appreciation in his eyes warmed her all the way through.

  “I brought the mess to your door,” she said. “The least I could do is try to leave a positive impression of this place at the end of things.”

  “You are full of surprises, aren’t you?” Adam said, chuckling as he walked over to where she was standing.

  “You have no idea,” Toni said with intended mischief.

  Her flirting wasn’t wasted on Adam. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to respond, but Toni never heard it as Jerome came out of what she assumed was Adam’s bedroom that very instant. Before Toni had even gotten inside, Jerome had disappeared into the bedroom to change into the suit she had just bought him.

  “Okay, check this out,” he said, striking a pose. “What do you think?” he asked, striking a new pose. “
Am I killing it or what?”

  Adam raised an eyebrow. “Pink tie?” he asked from beside Toni.

  Toni whacked him playfully on his chest with the back of her hand. “What’s wrong with a pink tie?”

  “Isn’t that a bit girly?”

  “It is not,” Toni said, rolling her eyes. “It looks great.”

  “I don’t know,” Adam said. “Next thing you know we’ll be getting you a pink flower to go in the pocket of your—”

  Toni slapped her hand over Adam’s mouth and felt him laugh against her fingers.

  “Don’t listen to him,” Toni said, trying to reassure a worried-looking Jerome. “You look hot. The girls will be falling all over you, especially Keisha.”

  Jerome looked down at his tie skeptically. “I’m gonna go try on the other one.” He disappeared into the bedroom again.

  Toni turned to Adam, a disapproving glare on her face. “See what you did,” she chided softly. Adam opened his mouth and bit Toni’s fingers gently. She felt a flutter in her stomach at the sensation of his warm lips against her fingers. She pulled her hand away quickly.

  “Something wrong, Miss Shields?” The amusement in his eyes told her he had caught the nervousness in hers.

  “Nothing.” Toni’s voice came out more high pitched than she intended.

  “Are you sure?” He stepped closer and Toni was surrounded by his scent. Adam was so not playing fair.

  “Sure.” She cleared her throat.

  They stared each other down a long time, the space between them so charged that Toni was sure that the tiny pricks she felt on her heated skin were from it. Toni stepped back and found enough air to breathe.

  “When did he decide he was taking Keisha?” Adam asked, tearing his eyes away from her. “I thought he was going with Rochelle?”

  “Uh-uh,” Toni corrected. “Rochelle was the one who asked him. But he always wanted to take Keisha. He was just afraid to ask her. He has the hugest crush on her. Don’t you pay attention?”

  “I pay attention to you,” he said, his eyes smiling at her. “Why’d you cut your hair? I liked it at your shoulders.”

  Toni lifted her hand to her new shorter do, and instantly regretted saying yes to Afrika when she had suggested a change only days earlier. She would never cut it again.

  “Okay, what about this?” Jerome said, coming back out in the purple tie. This time he was looking to Adam for approval.

  Toni sent Adam a silent warning that she knew he read loud and clear.

  He nodded. “That’s what I’m talking about,” he said. “Now you look like a man.”

  Toni rolled her eyes.

  “Thanks, Toni,” Jerome said, grabbing her in a hug and easily swinging her around. “You’re the best.”

  Before she could stop laughing he was through the door.

  “Don’t be walking around all afternoon in that suit,” she called after him. “Go hang it up in the closet and don’t get it soiled! I’m not paying for dry cleaning.”

  Adam laughed. “You are going to make a wonderful nagging mother for some kid someday.”

  Toni pursed her lips. “Since that’s as close to a compliment as I think I’m gonna get from you, I’m gonna go ahead and say thanks.”

  “That was a lot of money you spent on Jerome.” He had moved into her space again, enveloping her with his warmth, making her nervous. She fiddled with the ends of her hair.

  “There’re only so many outfits I can buy for my unborn niece. Jerome did really well in school this year and he deserved to be treated.”

  Adam nodded. “I know. But it was still really nice, what you did for him. It probably means more to him than you know. You mean more to him than you know.”

  As Toni’s eyes met Adam’s she got the distinct impression he hadn’t just been speaking for Jerome. He was close enough to kiss her, but he didn’t. So she shrugged it off. It was probably her imagination hard at work.

  She cleared her throat. “By the way, I got you something.” She retrieved the shopping bag on the floor and held it out to him.

  Adam’s eyes widened in surprise as he took the bag from her. “You didn’t have to ...”

  “I know,” she said, sinking down on the couch. She had to put some distance between them. His cologne was messing with her head. “I saw it and I thought of you, and once I see something I like, I have to get it.”

  Adam took a tentative peek in the bag.

  “Go ahead. Open it.” She was eager for his response.

  He glanced at her a moment longer before reaching into the Sean John shopping bag and pulling out a box. Opening it carefully, he peeled back the tissues, revealing a purple dress shirt, only slightly darker than Jerome’s tie.

  Adam looked down at it for a long time without saying anything. Toni began to panic a little.

  “I saw a red one, but I figured this color would look better against your skin,” she said nervously. “I wasn’t sure of your size, but I figured you were a little bigger than Trey since you’re taller. If it’s the wrong size, I have the receipt. I can get it exchanged.”

  He was shaking his head. Still not looking at her.

  She sighed, her heart feeling crushed in her chest. “You don’t like it.”

  “No ... I like it,” he said, struggling for words. “It’s just that ...”

  She saw his jaw tighten and relax, then tighten again. Then he was pacing the ground, one hand on his waist, the other rubbing the back of his head.

  “You can’t do this,” he said, dropping his hands to his sides and turning to face her, his brow furrowed in frustration.

  “I can’t do what?” Toni asked, confused. “Buy you a shirt?”

  “Yes, buy me a shirt.”

  “Why?” Toni asked incredulously. “I saw something that I liked for you, and I bought it. It’s not a big deal.”

  “It is a big deal!” Adam protested.

  “It’s just a shirt, Adam!”

  Toni couldn’t believe they were arguing over this. They had gotten into fights over some stupid stuff before, but this took the cake.

  “It’s not just a shirt.”

  “What?”

  Adam blew out a breath. “No one has ever bought me a shirt before—no one other than my mother.”

  “So?”

  “So you can’t just buy me a shirt and walk away.”

  Toni’s face wrinkled in confusion. “But I’m not walking away.”

  “But I am.”

  Toni sighed and closed her eyes. “Adam, you’re not making sense.”

  “I’m leaving.”

  Toni blinked several times, not sure if she had heard him right. “I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head after a moment. “For a minute I thought you just said you were—”

  “Leaving,” Adam finished. “Yes, that’s what I said.”

  Cold fingers of panic began to creep up Toni’s spine. “Leaving, like going to Baltimore for a visit?” she asked weakly.

  Adam shook his head sullenly as he watched the truth unfold in her mind. “Not for a visit. For good.”

  Toni gripped the side of the couch and took a deep breath. Then another. Then another. It wasn’t helping. She still felt like she couldn’t breathe.

  She looked out the window at the bright sky, till the sunlight seemed to burn her pupils. Then she looked down at the ground. None of it helped. She couldn’t make sense of it. Adam was leaving? How could this be happening?

  She braced herself against the couch and forced herself to stand, though her legs were more than a little unstable. “I h-have to g-go.”

  “Why?” Adam asked, stepping closer, his eyes searching hers desperately.

  “I can’t,” Toni said, shaking her head as she still held on to the couch. “I just can’t—”

  “Toni, please. Talk to me,” he pleaded.

  What did he want her to say? That she didn’t want him to leave? Did he want her to beg him to stay?

  How had this happened anyway? One minute he
r life had been neat and organized. Okay, so she had a few issues. But she had been getting by. And then Adam had come along and stirred up the pot. He had come into her life and turned everything upside down, only to turn around and leave. She blinked back the tears that were already springing to her eyes.

  “How can you do this to me?” she demanded, turning hurt eyes on him. He was so close that she wanted to reach out and slap him. “How can you just leave me like this? After everything we—”

  Adam took the rest of the words right off her lips when his mouth descended on hers. One hand caressed the length of her arm, tracing a burning path across her already flushed skin. The other slipped to the nape of her neck, easing her closer with sweet, gentle pressure. Her body melted toward his and her lips parted, inviting him home. She had played their first kiss over and over in her mind a million times. But the memory had nothing on the reality.

  He began to pull away, but Toni wasn’t having it. She buried her fingers in the front of his shirt and pulled him back to her, tipping on her toes to return his kiss with one of her own. She didn’t think about the fact that he was leaving. She didn’t think about the fact that she was already too attached to him. She didn’t even think about how massively complicated he made her life. All she thought about as she stood in his apartment kissing him, her heart syncing in rhythm with his, was the fact that she was exactly where she belonged.

  “Adam.”

  His name slipped from her lips like a whispered request. In answer he slanted his mouth across hers, deepening the kiss. Every nerve in Toni’s body felt like it was on fire. Even her ears were ringing.

  It wasn’t until she heard the second distinct ring of Adam’s phone, that she realized the sound she had been hearing was not in her head, but in her purse.

  “Adam ...” Toni whispered, her eyes still closed. “Phone.”

  He swept his lips over hers. “Forget it.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck.

  For once, she had no argument.

  Chapter 35

  Toni rushed through Northside Hospital, following the signs until she found the maternity ward.